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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Guest_10487 Grooming and Child abuse
  • replies: 3

40 years ago I was groomed at 13 and victim of child abuse. Should I report it. He was 27 older than me. He is now in his 80s. He is also a very well known business man. I am writing my life story And it has brought up alot of memories of the past. .... View more

40 years ago I was groomed at 13 and victim of child abuse. Should I report it. He was 27 older than me. He is now in his 80s. He is also a very well known business man. I am writing my life story And it has brought up alot of memories of the past. .should I report it or change his name in my book. I'm confused.

Matt_07 Hi my names Matthew
  • replies: 1

So I’m 18, stressing about money because I’ve got a hernia inguinal problem. Ive tried applying for centre link but they rejected me twice all I wanted was money because I’m unable to financially support myself. I don’t wanna ask my parents because t... View more

So I’m 18, stressing about money because I’ve got a hernia inguinal problem. Ive tried applying for centre link but they rejected me twice all I wanted was money because I’m unable to financially support myself. I don’t wanna ask my parents because they bought a house 5 hrs away from the place I grew up around (Maitland) and I went to go live with them as I couldn’t afford to live with one of my mates. I’m not too sure what to do but I got a job at kfc haven’t started I don’t wanna work because I might make my hernia worse which I already have from a plumbing work trial and I’m tired of the fact that I can’t get money I just want someone to hear me out and help me.

white knight The chaos of autism
  • replies: 0

Have you ever considered how many tasks we do daily? It's in the hundreds. Most people go through these tasks every day easily. But for those with autism or high functioning autism (I have that) it isnt a bunch of duties, it's chaos. Autistic people ... View more

Have you ever considered how many tasks we do daily? It's in the hundreds. Most people go through these tasks every day easily. But for those with autism or high functioning autism (I have that) it isnt a bunch of duties, it's chaos. Autistic people need routines and rituals. They provide a foundation or a platform that counters real life's list of unexpected daily duties. New emails that send you into turmoil as you know the next hour is spent on the phone with recording devices asking you to press numbers. When you finally get through you get cut off for some unknown reason. You know the drill. It doesnt help to recall decades ago when you had to attend to the very email in letter form where the process took days. Partners or family members have a problem because if these routines are interrupted we can get triggered. A good example is house keys, if your partner leaves the house with your keys and her keys are in her own secure place, you cant leave the house without locking up, you get triggered to the point whereby you feel trapped, imprisoned. Yes, thats the result for some of us. That leads to overreaction and a downward spiral. This triggering event is far worse for low IQ or severe autism because those souls dont have the higher IQ nor logic levels to counter effect of the the broken routine. I worked with a fellow once that was one of those people that had our shared security desk with a place for everything, the ruler had to be in its designated position as was everything else in their right spot. Returning from a patrol if one item wasnt right there he'd explode. Even the logic of me being busy didnt suffice. A foster son we have has severe autism and if his routine is changed he cannot cope and weeps. So the real problem here is for those with some mental illnesses we rely upon routine and rituals as a foundation of our lives. If capable when those routines are changed we must try not to get upset, stop the trigger and think how hard it is for our partner to live a life based on not changing something that could trigger us. That means hard work for us, to downplay the effect of change but thats our responsibility even though its very hard to do. Dont feel guilty, just try. TonyWK

white knight Motivation and mental illness
  • replies: 1

I first became really motivated after attending a lecture at 26yo some 44 years ago. Up till then I was defeated and negative, a reflection of my family environment I grew up in. Those early days I knew something was wrong but didnt see the light of ... View more

I first became really motivated after attending a lecture at 26yo some 44 years ago. Up till then I was defeated and negative, a reflection of my family environment I grew up in. Those early days I knew something was wrong but didnt see the light of the problem until that day. When the motivator that day pounded his fist on his bench yelling "you can do anything with positive thinking"!! my hairs on my back went solid, I was transformed forever. But, I didnt know I had any mental illness so I couldnt understand why self motivation often didnt work. Those were those times my depression stopped any positive thoughts in their tracks. Years later once diagnosed in 2009 at 53yo, I realised I had major obstacles that weren't my fault. The "black dog" was stubborn and no treat would sway him to be friendly. Since then I've developed my own strategies to cope better and the most important one is timing, to allow my depression from a bipolar swing to run its course THEN self motivate. Medication has reduced my periods of depression from 2 weeks down to 2 days most of the time so after 2 bad days if I wake up and want to smell the roses a quick walk is the beginning of a motivating period. On that walk something always happens or an observation generates enthusiasm for life. Maybe the Alpacas will come to the fence for a pat, an old person in a park likes a chat or my small dog gets a pat from a stranger. At the end of my walk I know I'm ok and looking forward to the near future. So study your illness, accept that your depressive period will come to an end and if it doesnt seek out professional medical help. Over a long period this technique will become second nature, you'll know its a few bad days and you will get deflated if you try to motivate yourself during a depressive period so dont try. Once that morning arrives when you know you are feeling a little better, dive off the dark clouds to immerse yourself into the joys of life, because life can be so wonderful. TonyWK

anonymous-ant Helping a partner who witnessed an attempt
  • replies: 4

Hey everyone, I was fortunate enough to survive an attempt a week ago and am now seeking help after being hospitalised. However, I am struggling to help my partner who was the one who found me. I want to be able to support him but also give him space... View more

Hey everyone, I was fortunate enough to survive an attempt a week ago and am now seeking help after being hospitalised. However, I am struggling to help my partner who was the one who found me. I want to be able to support him but also give him space as I don’t want to lose him. Seeking advice from those who had partners who attempted and what I can do to help him during this time also. Thank you x

Mummy5454 Advice
  • replies: 5

Hi I have just gone through a recently very traumatic breakup with a man who I shared a very special two years with and now he has gone from essentially proposing to me to ice cold or within the same month he lost his dad about a month ago and instea... View more

Hi I have just gone through a recently very traumatic breakup with a man who I shared a very special two years with and now he has gone from essentially proposing to me to ice cold or within the same month he lost his dad about a month ago and instead of leading on me for support, he has pushed me aside and blocked my number and completely refuses to reach out for any reason. I gave my life for this man and this is how he reciprocates

moody-_ahhhhh Lost my sense of direction
  • replies: 37

underemployed, moody and probably lazy like every other summer :,(, im lost and dont know what to do and dont wanna splurge more money and cant get an internship

underemployed, moody and probably lazy like every other summer :,(, im lost and dont know what to do and dont wanna splurge more money and cant get an internship

AnotherHuman Saying Goodbye To Life
  • replies: 5

Hello, I think my time in life is coming to an end soon. I'm not certain when it's going to happen...or where...but I know it's approaching. It's sad to think about all the different lives I could have lived. All the different people and things I cou... View more

Hello, I think my time in life is coming to an end soon. I'm not certain when it's going to happen...or where...but I know it's approaching. It's sad to think about all the different lives I could have lived. All the different people and things I could have become. All the experiences I will never get to have. It's odd being on this side of the fence. When I was younger - the door was open to all kinds of possibilities. Those doors are closing now, one by one. I had promised myself not to become the kind of adult I am right now. I saw all the warning signs from others I observed falling into similar traps. I guess I just didn't have what it takes. Somebody once told me when I was 16 sitting alone in a university library reading The Lord of the Rings "Stay curious, or you'll end up like me". I've never forgotten that. It appears I am becoming that kind of a man. The person that only warns others of a bad life because he couldn't live a good one for himself. Everything virtuous in me has been sucked clean and now there's nothing left but the hollowed shell of a human being who once thought he could make it out in time. Ah, well. My heart goes out to anyone struggling and I hope with all I have left that you can push through. I have accepted my role in life, as a loser. It's over for me now and I am making peace with that.

Guest_52609803 I wish I wasn't the one conscious in this body
  • replies: 1

I initially wanted to title this "I want to disappear", but I'm not meaning I want to end my life, I mean that I don't have the energy for anything in my life. I wish I wasn't the one conscious in this body, but instead watching my life in 3rd person... View more

I initially wanted to title this "I want to disappear", but I'm not meaning I want to end my life, I mean that I don't have the energy for anything in my life. I wish I wasn't the one conscious in this body, but instead watching my life in 3rd person. Because I honestly can't be bothered making the decisions or moving it myself. Since 2020, I've been feeling really disconnected from everything. I lost friends after grad from what I can only assume was due to my jealousy; I started to game more and more to escape my reality; My eyesight is so incredibly bad that it's getting -0.5 worse each year; I could never keep a job for more than a year because I kept telling myself how unfair the job was or how unprofessional it was; I jumped 5+ different tertiary courses and accumulated debt; I let my learner drivers license expire this month, barely driving 30 hours since getting my learners 5 years ago; and I even got diagnosed with PCOS which has still been left untreated because of my laziness - so I'm obese, constantly tired, insulin resistant / pre-diabetic, hormonally imbalanced, not getting my period and craving food all the time.My sleep schedule is so bad because I'm gaming into the night, or using this time to study. But I'm even missing my classes, so I'm still weeks behind. When my sleep schedule goes super bad to the point when I am up at 7am, I just force myself to stay up the next day till 9pm so I can "sleep on time". But when I sleep, I am constantly sleeping 9+ hours; sometimes even 12+ hours. I've tried taking supplements and getting into a routine (like skincare or haircare), but I lose interest in it by the 2nd week.It is so hard to even get myself checked up with a GP, because I can't stop sleeping or getting off my ass. It took me 2 weeks to get a blood test because I kept putting it off, or messing up my fast. I want to get help so bad, but if I want my physical and mental health properly checked, I have to get through the first obstacle of actually going, and then the next obstacle of paying money that I just don't have.To top it all off, I just feel SO ALONE. Because no one has experienced all of this like I have; no one can relate! I have no one that knows how to comfort me or to help me because they just don't understand any of it. I love my boyfriend, friends and my family, but no one is able to - or should! - put aside what is going on in their life, just to help me. What can I do?

Akitagirl i would like to unburden.
  • replies: 2

hi All,I guess its just a small (ish ) thing, but I would like to share what happened to me yesterday. I don't have anyone to discuss it with, but I don't want to add it to my emotional baggage.I recently started a casual job. i had done two shifts a... View more

hi All,I guess its just a small (ish ) thing, but I would like to share what happened to me yesterday. I don't have anyone to discuss it with, but I don't want to add it to my emotional baggage.I recently started a casual job. i had done two shifts at the local country hotel. a new manager started yesterday, and I met him when I stopped by for a drink to fill in 40 minutes between appointments. honestly he struck me as being a bit of a jerk right off the bat. anyway I didn't think too much of it. later in the day I got a phone call from him saying that I would no longer be required. I asked him if he could tell me why, he replied "because I heard that you said I wasn't going to last". I was pretty shocked. I didn't say that at all, what I did say (to a workmate) was that I'm not sure that I trust him 100%.I know I shouldn't have said it out loud at all, but I didn't imagine she would go ahead and tell him. anyway, as a result I am feeling angry, both at myself and at him. I have lost my job. partly I blame her for being such a snitch, partly I think he's being petty, especially because I had not said what I was accused of, but mostly angry with myself. why cant I learn to keep my big mouth shut and my opinions to myself.I feel stupid.

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