Staying well

40 year old male in need for advice

replies: 1

Hi ladies and gentlemen, This is my first post and i wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a while. I’m 40 years old, and to be completely honest, I’ve never had sex and don’t really have any close friends. It’s something I’ve been qui... View more

Hi ladies and gentlemen, This is my first post and i wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a while. I’m 40 years old, and to be completely honest, I’ve never had sex and don’t really have any close friends. It’s something I’ve been quietly struggling with for a long time. I see people i work with with much exciting life’s and, when they ask me what I’m doing for the weekend, i give them either the silent treatment or make an excuse so ill end the discussion quickly. I never expected to be in this position, but i cannot change what happened in the past but move forward. I always have resentfulness, and jealously that people half my age have accomplished more than what I have done. My concern would be that if somehow i did meet someone, how do i bring this up?, how to tell that special person i have no friends and never been intimate or kiss a woman in my life as this may be a red flag. Also, i am on the shorter side, and slightly overweight but do go to the gym on multiple occasions. Has anyone else felt like this or gone through something similar later in life? How did you start to turn things around? Any advice on buildind friendship at an older age. Thanks for reading.

Be Yourself but who am I?

replies: 1922

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be... View more

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on. I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change? The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more. Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions. I will limit myself to two questions . Can you be yourself without changing? Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself? Quirky

Overwhelmed by life

replies: 2

I am about to be homeless with my partner (we are in a bad place he doesn’t really speak to me we basically just are together for our pets) & 5 dogs & cat. We have used a tenancy advocate to help us negotiate a payment plan and for vcat ect but we ar... View more

I am about to be homeless with my partner (we are in a bad place he doesn’t really speak to me we basically just are together for our pets) & 5 dogs & cat. We have used a tenancy advocate to help us negotiate a payment plan and for vcat ect but we are still being evicted any day the warrant can come now. I got out of jail in 2018 stayed clean for 5 years and achieved such good job, stable house, my relationship was a little up and down but my dogs and my cat are my world i don’t have any friends to speak to I can’t speak to my partner my family are really judgemental I have never been that close.I’m just not sure what to do anymore I have bipolar I’m on medication but I dont take it consistently I try, I have no motivation without using drugs now that I’m not working I left my job earlier in the year because it was becoming to much pressure using and working. ive also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia which I’m struggling with daily. I don’t want to use drugs but I feel like there the only way I’m going to get a roof over our heads I’m so scared the police will turn up with the council and take the only things in my life who matter my 5 dogs and cat would be like a death sentence for some of them I have no idea where we will end up no one can help cause of the dogs they all ask if I could rehome them you don’t ask people to rehome children so why pets that’s my take on the subject. I’d do a robery to get cash for us but if I got arrested I’d go to jail I did something similar last time I went to jail. I’m so stressed all the time I can’t relax which plays with my anxiety and I can’t think rationally I’m just going into this spiral and I can’t find any solutions. I can’t even vent to anyone cause the one person I had is now in jail and my partner hates him. I feel like I’m self destructing and I’m going to loose everything.

Injured Mental Health Worker

replies: 2

Hello I am a work place injured victim. Is there anyone out there that is similar and what’s your experience with the work cover system. I would love to hear from anyone going through work cover and there recovery? Support experience. I am a complete... View more

Hello I am a work place injured victim. Is there anyone out there that is similar and what’s your experience with the work cover system. I would love to hear from anyone going through work cover and there recovery? Support experience. I am a complete example of a Broken System that has been abusing me for twenty years now. Suffering my injury I have been slaughtered stripped of human decency life. My treatment is a very serious urgent concern and I really would love to hear from anyone. thank you dead girl walking

Supporting loved ones with attempted suicide

replies: 9

Dear all,I am seeking any life hacks I can get through supporting my partner going through a severe depression.We were lucky to save her from her suicide attempt and now in hospital under trauma care.

Looking for advice for severe insomnia

replies: 3

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm w... View more

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm waiting on them to get back to me). My GP also cant help, and my psychiatrist is struggling to find medications that can help me in the short term. I also prefer to be off medication, I want to conquer my insomnia but don't know what else is left to do. My severe insomnia restarted a couple of weeks ago when i completely stopped a medication i was on due to how it was affecting me physically. I was dependant on it to make me sleep for 9 years. None of us know what's causing my insomnia. We know why it started many years ago but don't know why its continuing because i no longer have those issues. It isn't due to anxiety, stress or overthinking and I've been to a sleep clinic where they found nothing wrong physically. It seems no health professional can help me so far. I guess I'm just hoping to find someone that's been in a similar boat to me. Unsure of what's causing the insomnia and nothing works to help you sleep. Most nights I have 0 sleep. If I'm lucky I may get 2 hours on a sleep medication. Because of no sleep I'm having migraines and its making me emotional.

I'm finally free.

replies: 1

After a long while of being snared in the most toxic "friendship" I've been in for a while, I am finally happy to announce that I am free. It's also been the shortest friendship I've ever had, as this lasted for 9 months. I left him, and I've never f... View more

After a long while of being snared in the most toxic "friendship" I've been in for a while, I am finally happy to announce that I am free. It's also been the shortest friendship I've ever had, as this lasted for 9 months. I left him, and I've never felt so free! He is the "friend" that I've posted about before. He kept me snared in that friendship as he kept baiting me into staying such as telling me he'd die if I left him; however as much as I tried to love him platonically or show him any form of care, it'd always backfire horribly. He's crossed the line recently by comparing skin tones between him and I, and saying things such as "Oh I'm whiter. You matter less." Just because my skin tone is slightly more tan compared to his, or he'd generally hate me because I'm Turkish. He'd constantly mock my English (It's not the best but I'm trying!) and my accent as well to the point where I got fed up and left him. He'd constantly call me "confused" or "crazy" because I settled in on being Bisexual. Even in classes he was a distraction and hazard because he put sawdust on his finger and tried to make me sniff it (In wood tech class) and I ignore his antics usually. Along with this he's also try to twist my arm, which I hated a lot because he wouldn't stop at all. He's even posted about me on Tumblr and tried to paint me as someone who is rude and unkind and kept posting about my blog when I wanted to mind my own business and chill out with my other friends from my old school. But no, it wasn't possible with him. Today, I left him completely and am now on my own; and I have never felt this relaxed and calm before. I focused much better and completed all of my work like usual without any distractions. Now I'm feeling more peaceful in school, however there's one problem; which are the girls who usually bully and harass me to my locker for no reason. I don't even get why? I've never said or done anything to them and they keep spreading rumours such as me spreading personal photos of them all over Snapchat. Mind you, I don't even have it! The only social media I have is Spotify, WhatsApp and YouTube as I want to distance myself away from other platforms. They've also called me "weird" or a "psycho" just because I mind my own business. I'm a quiet person who likes a lot of things, and I don't want to fit the norm; or their norm at all. I like being who I am. I love music from the 60s-70s, trip hop (Such as Massive Attack or Björk) and albums that my dad's introduced me to. They find me weird for being myself. I know this might sound ridiculous but I don't get why they pick on someone who is different, or even looks different. I remember when I got a wolf cut they kept saying "Oh she looks like a damn paintbrush" "Eww" just because I got a minor haircut to grow out a bit (It's currently up to my shoulders and I hope to grow it out more so I can make a ponytail :D) along with this they've even followed or cornered me at my lockers because of the rumours they've spread. I remember when I was simply even drawing in class today, I got hit with a ruler on the back because I'm "stupid and weird" to them. I don't care though, because I'm happy with who I am, and even happier now that I've left my toxic "friend". I'm twice as happy with home life, because my parents love taking me to new places such as Brighton or Lorne (I loved the beaches there so much) and they search for new vinyls and CDs together. My dad's pretty cool as he's introduced me to a lot of albums when I was younger, such as Future Past by Duran Duran which we listen to together in the car, and as for my mom she's amazing because she's introduced me to so many TV shows when I was younger, and even today she still does. I'm happy online as well because I have a few online friends and friends from my old school who I still talk to, and along with all that, I'm grateful for Beyond Blue as well. Thank you to anyone who had replied to my old posts as well, as I appreciate it a lot.

The true meaning of Self-Love

replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words wit... View more

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words with those who need to hear them. “Love of Self is usually seen as being conceited, being immodest, being self-absorbed, but true Love of Self is none of those things. They are merely the opinions of those who do not yet know how to love themselves. Love of Self is appreciating what you perceive as your ‘good’ qualities and learning to accept and embrace what you perceive as your ‘not so good’ qualities. We all have them, it is part of being human because human beings are not ‘perfect’ and are not meant to be. We are here on a journey of learning from our experiences, both positive and negative, to become a being with greater wisdom than when we began the journey. You are as unique as your own fingerprint, there is not another person on the planet who is exactly like you. Therefore, it is pointless comparing yourself with others, you can no more be like them, than they can be like you. You are here to share your uniqueness with the world from a place of authenticity. You are here to fill a space that no-one else can fill. You are here to do what your heart calls you to do. To put it all in a nutshell, be as kind, caring and compassionate to yourself as you are to others. Live your life as you choose to live it, regardless of the opinions of others. Love does not come from outside of you, it comes from within of you. When you have truly learned to love yourself, you will no longer look for love and validation externally because you have everything you need inside of you. At that point, you will attract people into your life who have also learned how to love themselves, people who will love you for who you are and not try to change you in any way. That sense of peace is a goal well worth striving for.” I only wish that someone had said these words to me when I was young, I might not have wandered through life feeling so lost, but it’s never too late to begin.indigo

why does this feeling never go away?

replies: 1

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so... View more

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so sad all the time. everything i feel hurts. i’ve never posted on any kind of forum before or asked for help or advice in this way - i just don’t know what to do anymore. i’ve cried consistently every day for the last 5 years. my heartache never ceases. sometimes i have good days, but when it’s just me, especially when im in my bed at night, and im left alone with myself, i think, i get overwhelmed and i cry. my mind won’t stop unraveling and questioning and replaying everything. i get stuck. ive tried almost everything. i’ve tried medicine, meditation, therapy, routines, teas, baths, candles, new friends, old friends, exercise, diets, hurting myself, not hurting myself, travel, sleeping, talking and not talking. i think that this is just who i am. and i hate who i am. i don’t know much about anyone else, but this is not what living is. my misery has taken up so much of my life. ive only just turned 18 and i cant imagine a future where i keep having to be like this every day and for forever. especially now in year 12, my life will just get harder and more challenging, and things will change and keep changing but i won’t. i’ll stay like this forever. does it ever go away? i can’t be stuck with myself like this forever.

Menopause 🙄

replies: 2

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and ... View more

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and just can’t deal with his total oblivion to everything. Definitely goes hand in hand, but so over talking to myself. Even a toddler could give more consistency.

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