Staying well

I don't know whether to get any sort of immediate or professional support.

replies: 2

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID l... View more

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID lockdowns with my grandpa passing away from heart issues, people speaking towards me in condescending or dismissive ways and a girl who pretended to make sexual advances over the phone despite me saying before then revealing that it was all a joke. The only issue I've had is that this has all happened to me four years ago. While I would like to talk about it directly, I don't yet possess adequate social skills, emotional intelligence nor life experience to talk about it in a way that can feel productive towards me. I did so once, but my parents didn't like how negative my mindset was from doing it. I've also been changing slowly; having wanted to take on jobs at home, work and university that to a great extent have supported me to have a greater emotional depth. I've returned to running/soccer, and I've slowly been embracing new activities like going to art galleries. The issues I need to work on that I came to in the end after I began to calm down after trauma dumping is that while I need to be more conscientious about how I say what's the problem, learn how to hear myself and others more, be honest and speak out the moment someone hurts; the greater feeling that keeps eating me inside is that I don't feel seen by others or I am not wanted by others unless it is beneficial for them. That even though people can and should high road me if I become too aggressive or toxic; it's the thought that no one wants to "call a spade a spade" and be more brutally honest towards themselves and the people around them that make them feel phony. It's sort of like Holden Caufield when he calls others "phonies"; though this time I've seen and heard more people directly lie and mistreat others. For me to believe that I can be healthier is to hold stop trying to be a good person and holding others to same idyllic version of themselves and instead find my center or middle ground, be more consistent and build myself up from. That happened less the last time I saw a professional.

Bad Dreams

replies: 3

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had the... View more

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had these bad dreams as often in the past.

Is positivity always helpful.?

replies: 87

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can... View more

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous. However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling. What do you think? So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain? Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed. Let me know what you think. Is there a time and place for positivity?

Merry Christmas 2024

replies: 2

Hello Good People,Once again, I would like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and the prospect of a very happy and peaceful new year in 2025.

Be Yourself but who am I?

replies: 1920

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be... View more

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on. I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change? The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more. Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions. I will limit myself to two questions . Can you be yourself without changing? Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself? Quirky

Spending Christmas alone

replies: 12

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been d... View more

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been doing some volunteering 2 days a week that has given me a sense of belonging and feel it's given me a sense of belonging and a meaningful connection with other volunteers, staff and their members. Since my mother passed away in 2021, I have been spending Christmas day on my own at home, which I am OK with. However, since I’ve been volunteering, some of my colleagues will no doubt ask me how I will be spending Christmas? e (despite being popular) is alone this holiday.Sometimes I feel like fabricating some sort of story because I feel a bit embarrassed telling them I will be spending Christmas alone thinking that I’m a bit of a loner.My position reminds me of an episode in the TV series “Happy Days” where Richie found out Fonzie (despite being popular and saying he had plans) intends to spend Christmas day all alone. I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation how did they manage it when other people asked? e (despite being popular)

Merry Christmas 2023

replies: 9

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout... View more

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout 2023 and have been kind enough to reply. Some of what I have written maybe questionable but hopefully most of it was of some small help along the road to wherever we are all going. I would also like to wish all of those people who find themselves alone during this festive season, the sincere hope that their lives will improve beyond their greatest expectations and that they will find a way through life's little bumps in the road to enjoy this journey through time and space.amd1953

Recurring, confusing thoughts following psych appts

replies: 1

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my f... View more

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my first relationship and quite complex), and ultimately have been struggling with pretty debilitating depression and social anxiety. I’m quite stubborn and have some really big trust issues, so I haven’t been very honest with many people about the ‘difficulties’ I’ve had. But I have been consistently seeing my psych of a few years regularly through the year. I have a frustrating relationship with/mindset around psych appointments. I've always struggled with trusting that my psych’s response to what I tell them is genuine and they're not secretly judging me. I also am incredibly hard on myself (I’ve been told, although I feel like everyone is) and just cannot silence or turn down the voice, no matter what I try, so I judge myself SO heavily about what I’ve said following appointments. I also have some abandonment issues so I think my psych (and everyone else) doesn’t want anything to do with me and wants to stop seeing me, but is too kind to confront me about that. This year, I can (now, finally) see that I’ve slipped into this norm of being very low, not making much of an effort to improve, using my mental health as an excuse, and am just a pretty lifeless person to be around. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts since my last psych appointment, where I raised that I had realised I have very poor emotional resilience. She didn’t disagree (I wouldn’t want her to lie to try to protect me, but I guess I was almost hoping she’d say something in my defence), so that has cemented it in my head and made me go back through so many conversations and feel so guilty and ashamed of how weak I’ve been, and am. I am having all these urges to run away from everyone, to email my psych and apologise for everything, and cancel my next appt and never see her again because that is what I think she wants. This is recurring, unable to shake the belief of everyone wanting me to leave them and disappear. I don’t really know what I’m posting for, but I guess I'd just love some advice re how to deal with these feelings from this appointment. I've raised these thoughts with my psych when they’ve come up in the past, but again, I can’t trust that whatever she says in response is genuine and truthful, not something she is saying just to protect me.

I feel lonley

replies: 1

hey i feel like shit i feel lonley as hell what are somethings i can do?

Self talk question?

replies: 8

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I u... View more

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I use them? Like it is more a parent to a child, rather then my actual mind to myself? example: Show yourself how wonderful you are vs Show myself how wonderful I am.You are alright (When I am having an anxious moment) vs I am alright. I also use my name. Like, “You are alright,——-.” (——— is my name). Should I be addressing myself by my name? What are your thoughts,Thankful for any answers.ABC01

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