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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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amd1953 Merry Christmas 2023
  • replies: 9

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout... View more

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout 2023 and have been kind enough to reply. Some of what I have written maybe questionable but hopefully most of it was of some small help along the road to wherever we are all going. I would also like to wish all of those people who find themselves alone during this festive season, the sincere hope that their lives will improve beyond their greatest expectations and that they will find a way through life's little bumps in the road to enjoy this journey through time and space.amd1953

javalava13 Recurring, confusing thoughts following psych appts
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my f... View more

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my first relationship and quite complex), and ultimately have been struggling with pretty debilitating depression and social anxiety. I’m quite stubborn and have some really big trust issues, so I haven’t been very honest with many people about the ‘difficulties’ I’ve had. But I have been consistently seeing my psych of a few years regularly through the year. I have a frustrating relationship with/mindset around psych appointments. I've always struggled with trusting that my psych’s response to what I tell them is genuine and they're not secretly judging me. I also am incredibly hard on myself (I’ve been told, although I feel like everyone is) and just cannot silence or turn down the voice, no matter what I try, so I judge myself SO heavily about what I’ve said following appointments. I also have some abandonment issues so I think my psych (and everyone else) doesn’t want anything to do with me and wants to stop seeing me, but is too kind to confront me about that. This year, I can (now, finally) see that I’ve slipped into this norm of being very low, not making much of an effort to improve, using my mental health as an excuse, and am just a pretty lifeless person to be around. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts since my last psych appointment, where I raised that I had realised I have very poor emotional resilience. She didn’t disagree (I wouldn’t want her to lie to try to protect me, but I guess I was almost hoping she’d say something in my defence), so that has cemented it in my head and made me go back through so many conversations and feel so guilty and ashamed of how weak I’ve been, and am. I am having all these urges to run away from everyone, to email my psych and apologise for everything, and cancel my next appt and never see her again because that is what I think she wants. This is recurring, unable to shake the belief of everyone wanting me to leave them and disappear. I don’t really know what I’m posting for, but I guess I'd just love some advice re how to deal with these feelings from this appointment. I've raised these thoughts with my psych when they’ve come up in the past, but again, I can’t trust that whatever she says in response is genuine and truthful, not something she is saying just to protect me.

Guest_09656659 I feel lonley
  • replies: 1

hey i feel like shit i feel lonley as hell what are somethings i can do?

hey i feel like shit i feel lonley as hell what are somethings i can do?

ABC01 Self talk question?
  • replies: 8

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I u... View more

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I use them? Like it is more a parent to a child, rather then my actual mind to myself? example: Show yourself how wonderful you are vs Show myself how wonderful I am.You are alright (When I am having an anxious moment) vs I am alright. I also use my name. Like, “You are alright,——-.” (——— is my name). Should I be addressing myself by my name? What are your thoughts,Thankful for any answers.ABC01

white knight Mental capacities and perspectives
  • replies: 0

One of the greatest challenges we face as mental health sufferers is the expectations of anyone around us and usually they do not possess professional qualifications. I'm all for professional advice, however, even professionals usually dont have the ... View more

One of the greatest challenges we face as mental health sufferers is the expectations of anyone around us and usually they do not possess professional qualifications. I'm all for professional advice, however, even professionals usually dont have the experience of having the illness they treat. They should be respected and advice followed but my point is that sometimes "extra" treatment can come in the form of self observations followed by life adjustments, in order to capitalise on your treatment program. Let me explain. In a primary school classroom there be 20 children. If all those children dreamt of becoming an astronaut its likely the odds are one child will succeed in 10,000 schools where all have that dream. So, as they grow through the years would it be realistic for every child to keep dreaming of being an astronaut? No, so all those kids with the same dream need to have a plan "B" and "C". Of those as well are the ones that havent got the academic capacity to achieve that dream. We cant possibly all be rocket scientists. So where ever those dreams originated from (the parent or child) the one thing they didnt judge was their capacity to achieve that career. We all are familiar with the parent that plans for their child to be the next gen farmer, doctor, retailer and those plans are set in stone without consideration their child hasnt got the same dream/capacity to become or a different dream eg builder. The parent that has those expectations creates enormous inner guilt in the child with one result if they dont follow- failure. Yet as a builder the child has succeeded with their own dream and actually that means success. What we can identify with is that you can be extremely positive and motivated but if you dont have the capacity to fulfill an unrealistic dream that doenst mean you're a failure- it means you have the wrong goal for you. Since time began we've been told what perspectives to have, that a builder is more important than a lumberjack yet the former cant exist without the latter... same with farmer more important than a spare parts sales yet the former couldnt use tractors without the latter and so on. We are all made up collectively to run a society and all as important as the next guy. So in our modern world we still have layers of what is deemed "successful". For those with mental illness that method of thinking is unhelpful, full of expectations we should not have to strive for. Stay well by having achievable goals- your goals. TonyWK

Guest_96793600 Burnt out Health Care Giver
  • replies: 1

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routi... View more

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routine when I work shift work and am exhausted by the time get home. Eating sensibly and regular exercise requires discipline, determination and organisation - yet I know it makes me feel good when I apply myself. I am 15-20 kgs over my healthy weight range, feel like a beached whale and totally unattractive. I am good at my job and am mostly appreciated at work but feel there has got to be more to life. I have friends and family but cannot really express how badly I feel about myself. I see a Psychologist usually once per month but this does not help much. I'm on anti anxiety medications but tend to resort to alcohol more than I should which does not help the situation. I just don't know how to get my Mojo back and strengthen my will power muscle. I'd appreciate any pearls of wisdom in the vain hope that I can put into action some strategies and feel better about myself before it's too late.

quirkywords The skill of worrying or minding less? How is it achieved? What does it mean?
  • replies: 60

Yes you read the title correctly, How do we mind less , How do we learn not to worry over every thing, How do we stop getting upset over every comment we feel is not positive. I would like to discuss ways people have learnt to stop worrying about sma... View more

Yes you read the title correctly, How do we mind less , How do we learn not to worry over every thing, How do we stop getting upset over every comment we feel is not positive. I would like to discuss ways people have learnt to stop worrying about small things,and how to not mind about what other people think. Also how can we stop being reactive and turn that into creative response, not sure how to do this but others may have an idea. Sometimes we can get angry over lots of things and it is hard to learn how to channel that anger. I know the more I let things get to me, the worse I feel. I have always tried hard to do mindfulness but I still struggle. Maybe if I can stop minding about things that don’t matter I can stop overthinking. I would like this thread to be a place where we can exchange ideas and share personal experiences about what works for them and what does not. Feel free to post and let’s get the discussion going. Quirky

Guest_40175004 Recovery addict
  • replies: 1

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm su... View more

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm super proud of how far he has come, growing so much as an individual and re building relationships with family members. But I feel like our relationship is falling apart, it's like he has no interest in me, this starting happening the less he was using and is completely gone, not affectionate at all.. is this a part of the recovery process ? I ask him all the time and he says we're fine he just doesn't know what's wrong with sexually!! I just don't know how to feel anymore, I feel like he has lost all love for me I'm not even sure what im looking for here

car10001 Sharing My Knee Injury Experience
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm here to share my experience with a knee injury I had a while back. I hope my story can help others who might be going through something similar. A few years ago, I was working at a shop when I twisted my knee while unloading some ite... View more

Hi everyone, I'm here to share my experience with a knee injury I had a while back. I hope my story can help others who might be going through something similar. A few years ago, I was working at a shop when I twisted my knee while unloading some items. At first, I thought I might have done serious damage. The pain was pretty intense initially, and I thought id done some damage and couldnt walk on it for a few moments. Fortunately, I was able to walk again after a few minutes, which felt like a relief but i still had to be careful to not shock the knee for rest of the afternoon while not making it obvious. then oneday at a school my knee injury came back and was limping a little to a point i had to hold onto something to take weight off for just a moment. luckily that afternoon i sat at computers with leg up on desk frame resting it while doing the admin side of a job all afternoon. This experience taught me the importance of self-care and being mindful of my body. If you're dealing with a knee injury or any pain, please remember to take care of yourself and seek help if needed. You're not alone in this. I’d love to hear about your experiences or any tips you might have for dealing with injuries. Let's support each other! thanks

white knight Inexpensive recovery idea - camping
  • replies: 36

My wife and I wanted to attend a country dog show held last Sunday and located half way between Ballarat and Geelong...about 90 minutes drive from Melbourne. We are lucky as we have a fully equipped camper trailer. But I do recall many years ago when... View more

My wife and I wanted to attend a country dog show held last Sunday and located half way between Ballarat and Geelong...about 90 minutes drive from Melbourne. We are lucky as we have a fully equipped camper trailer. But I do recall many years ago when single I camped in a tent. Last Saturday night we used a free camping guide, a book that lists all free camping spots in Australia. We found a great spot in the hills, alone and free. The birds singing was so good we woke up early at 5am to hear them, cook our eggs and bacon and ....RELAX. There is something about camping more so than ever because social media has drowned many of us and taken us away from the basics of living. Some of us need to get back to nature even for a short time...even overnight. So what is required for a basic camping adventure? Assuming you have a car although I've seen some people camp with motorcycles and push bikes or just a backpack if you are ultra fit. Free camping spots book $50, two person tent $30, blow up mattress with pump $60, sleeping bag- no- take your doona, pillow- take your pillow, one burner stove with butane gas pressure packs $30 + $7 for 4 cans of gas, kettle, water container 20L, fry pan, cutlery, bucket for dishes etc. In the scheme of things it is cheap entertainment. One of the best accessories has been a solar powered light on a baseball cap for $30, where ever you look there is light. Keep it on your cars rear parcel shelf to charge. Shower? Shower tents are fold up for $45. 12 volt shower pump $15- just boil your kettle and add to cold water in the bucket = great shower. You can get a porta potti for $100 and place it in the shower tent. Want to move up to a camper trailer? Only have a 4 cylinder car? Search for motorcycle campers. They are smaller and lighter to tow but most still have a queen size bed. Add a trunk on the drawbar and you can add a fridge. Mount a dry cell battery under the camper floor wired up to charge by your towing vehicle. Motorcycle campers start at around $7000. Which ever way you do it - just do it funds permitting. It really is recharging your batteries. It can help you recover from a down period. It can contribute towards your relationships. Dont forget to take a book. Something soulful, comforting and educational. We have a book of Australian birds and we try to identify them. Take a telescope for the stars. Once I found Saturn in the night sky and I could just see its rings- amazing. Your mind needs rest. Camping is good.