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Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 689

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Kazzl Helpful books and resources
  • replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

Chris_B Worried about other users - how are we all doing?
  • replies: 43

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences... View more

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings. I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress? Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it? Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

All discussions

ecomama Random Acts of Kindness during difficult times...
  • replies: 26

Hello everyone Today is a new day with new possibilities. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed with our own issues and the crises around us that we may forget how powerful it can be for ourselves and others to say or do one kind thing... Kindness is love... View more

Hello everyone Today is a new day with new possibilities. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed with our own issues and the crises around us that we may forget how powerful it can be for ourselves and others to say or do one kind thing... Kindness is love in action and our world is hurting. I've observed the change in people around me. Previous acts of kindness, were met with a smile and a thankyou but now... the reactions have changed. People are almost crying, saying thankyou with such relief. These responses hit me yesterday. I'm not a social worker but I do live and work in my community. I think about a kindness someone did for me all day, maybe for weeks and longer. When I do a simple thing for others I FEEL GOOD. We CAN make a difference. You can make a difference to someone today with a simple act, starting with yourself. Your actions can be planned but also taken on an impulse. A text asking how someone is doing? Or telling them you care about them. Offering to take an elderly person's trolley back to the bay or a parent's trolley back for them. Leaving a flower on a neighbour's letterbox. Asking the Supermarket worker how they're doing today. Thanking a Police Officer or Ambulance worker when you see them. Dropping a note into a person's letterbox when you know they live alone. Reacting with kindness. Kindness starts with being kind to ourselves. Please share a lovely thing you did for YOURSELF or somebody else. ANY THING is lovely to read about and can cheer a person up all day. Yesterday I saw a young mum struggling with her baby and shopping and trolley. The baby was crying. The empty trolley began to roll away. I stopped it and asked if I could take it back for her. She said "THANK YOU!" and said it four more times as I walked away and back. Then I saw her smiling and crying driving her car past me. She waved and I gave her a thumbs up. The darling girl, who knows what she's going through... Love to you today EM

Croix Store Your Happy Memories Here:
  • replies: 901

Dear All~ What this place is for: This thread is a tool, a resource, and also I guess a dash of entertainment. I’ve found that when life is grim that sometimes thoughts of past happiness can create a chink of light in the grey overwhelming press of d... View more

Dear All~ What this place is for: This thread is a tool, a resource, and also I guess a dash of entertainment. I’ve found that when life is grim that sometimes thoughts of past happiness can create a chink of light in the grey overwhelming press of down. They can help occupy the mind with lighter reflections. With that in view I invite people to set down a brief passage describing some happy event they look back to with fondness and peace. They - and others too - can then return to it when they feel the need to glean a little warmth. It is not a place for gloomy or dire tales, those can go elsewhere. What to do: Just set out, as simply as you like, your recollection of some past experience that means something good to you, something you enjoyed, something from safe times. It can be, like my story below, anything – from an account of visiting grandparents to simply cooking and eating a melted-cheese sandwich in a favorite kitchen – you get to choose. How to do it: Write. Write enough so someone else can feel the mood, know what happened, find the goodness. (stop at 2,500 characters please!) Grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation are not compulsory, just write as you can – the only important thing is the content - not literary merit. Short or long - it does not matter. I hope you enjoy, contribute and find a little distraction here when you need it. Croix

quirkywords Does putting on weight affect your mental health?
  • replies: 14

I have been watching a program on sbs about What does Australia really think about obesity.? I was very moved that people who are overweight experience more mental health issues and depression that people who are not overweight. The program informed ... View more

I have been watching a program on sbs about What does Australia really think about obesity.? I was very moved that people who are overweight experience more mental health issues and depression that people who are not overweight. The program informed us that overweight people get negative comments every day and are subject to fat shaming when ever they go out in public. I wonder if you have ever experienced fat shaming or heard Brooke being shamed because of their weight. I worry that someone’s weight may be causing mental illness not due to the weight but how other people judge them. For much of my life I was over weight. In my first workplace my female colleagues told me I could get a boyfriend if only I lost weight and dressed better wore make up . I was told my thighs were too big to wear shorts. I have been called fat and lazy and complete strangers have given me advice. If you feel you can share how your weight makes you feel and any experience when you were shamed and judged for your weight. I am really interested to find out more about how mental health is affected by being overweight.

Jane363 Best word to describe today
  • replies: 754

Warmth the sunlight is warm on my back; people here are very warm, accepting and welcoming - far more so than many of my own friends and family - thank you so much, it has helped more than you will realise and has helped lead me to... and finally, my... View more

Warmth the sunlight is warm on my back; people here are very warm, accepting and welcoming - far more so than many of my own friends and family - thank you so much, it has helped more than you will realise and has helped lead me to... and finally, my self-attitude is warm and forgiving which is a huge change from the self hatred I have been pushing onto myself so much recently.

nib Happy.
  • replies: 4

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination." I can honestly say, that I am finally becoming more and more content with they way in which my life is panning out. I have been playing netball on and off for the past twenty years straight, and after bein... View more

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination." I can honestly say, that I am finally becoming more and more content with they way in which my life is panning out. I have been playing netball on and off for the past twenty years straight, and after being in this particular team for a year, I can, once again, honestly say, that this is my favourite and the best team I have ever played for. My best friend of twenty years (the friend that I was struggling to maintain a friendship with as we don't communicate often) scores for my team now, and once I service and renew registration for my car, we are going to plan a trip to Cairns (if anyone has been there - you have GOT to please give us some recommendations on what to do there!) We are going to fly there. I returned to adult school this year, after taking three years off due to experiencing poor mental health, and I am completely and utterly excelling at it! I will be completing Year 12 across two years, with next year being my last year at the school. I never moved in with the man I had a romantic interest in, and my relationship with my parents is improving. I have received a lot of counselling in regards to the man I had a romantic interest in, and I have come to the conclusion that he and his family were incredibly toxic to my mental health. My goals now include expanding my friendship circle, going back to volunteer, getting my certificate of education, and eventually getting paid work.

MWV The alcohol roundabout
  • replies: 29

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and som... View more

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and sometimes boredom leads me to the wine. Classic case of I have depression so I drink, and I'me depressed because I drink. But I would also binge drink when I wasn't a stay at home dad. I just use alcohol to dull my senses a bit. I know all of this is text book, but still wanted to put this out there to see what strategies other people have tried, and to know that I'm not the only one.... Thanks

Eagle Ray Getting a rescue dog?
  • replies: 14

I’ve found a rescue dog online I’m drawn to adopt? He is on the introverted side and quite scared of people, and they are looking for someone of a similar nature who will be gentle and understanding of him. Not long ago I saw an episode of The Dog Ho... View more

I’ve found a rescue dog online I’m drawn to adopt? He is on the introverted side and quite scared of people, and they are looking for someone of a similar nature who will be gentle and understanding of him. Not long ago I saw an episode of The Dog House where a guy with PTSD was looking to adopt a rescue dog. He was initially matched with a dog who had trauma like him but it didn’t work out. In the end they matched him with a young, happy non-traumatised dog and it really worked. What I’m a little worried about is my whole life I have been a carer for others who are traumatised, including caring for my mother from a young age. This has left me with my own trauma. I wonder if it would be better for me to adopt a less shut down and frightened dog. At the same time I feel I would understand him, be able to help him come out of his shell and help him feel safe, that the world is not a threat (even though I’m still learning this myself). It’s like I’m exhausted from a lifelong carer role and feel I have nothing left to give, and yet I love dogs and am drawn to this one. I’m confused Obviously no one else can make the decision for me, and I can travel to meet him at least. But I just wondered if anyone else here with a trauma history has adopted a dog before? Was it a rescue dog and how did it go? I didn’t grow up with dogs but have lived with others’ dogs several times as an adult. I’ve cared for housemates’ and landlords’ dogs for extended periods when they’ve been away. So I’m aware of the work involved but also loved them to bits and they’ve been an important part of my life. I have some chronic health issues so this one I’m considering at the moment might suit in that he’s not high energy and sounds like he’s happy to go on sedate walks. Anyway, just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or similar experiences?

Guest_1055 Positivity Words A - Z
  • replies: 3902

Hello, Sometimes it is really challenging to think positive. Especially when we are struggling with things or when circumstances in our lives seem difficult. So I thought this may help. Just think of a positive word. Words go from A to Z. Like one pe... View more

Hello, Sometimes it is really challenging to think positive. Especially when we are struggling with things or when circumstances in our lives seem difficult. So I thought this may help. Just think of a positive word. Words go from A to Z. Like one person says something starting with A the next person say something that is starting with B. And so on. All words must be positive, so no doom and gloom. Feel free to write the meaning of the positive word you choose if you want. Maybe that would help us all. Not sure how this will go....

white knight Triggers that down you. Triggers that lift you
  • replies: 84

How often have we felt those triggers snap us into depression? Down we go. A workplace bully only has to smirk at us. A bit of sad news. A red letter from a bill we've missed. A piece of gossip about us that reaches our ears. For many of us our trigg... View more

How often have we felt those triggers snap us into depression? Down we go. A workplace bully only has to smirk at us. A bit of sad news. A red letter from a bill we've missed. A piece of gossip about us that reaches our ears. For many of us our trigger is unavoidable and I don't think there is much we guilt ridden over sensitive types can do about it. There are some things that medication cant control and psychiatrist session cant solve except a mental bandaid that might make us feel better until the next trigger. So if triggers that cause our emotional drop cant be stopped or lessened what can we do about them? Is there a counter measure? If the negative trigger is on one side of a weighing scale what can we put on the other side to at least try to give a balance? Well in my view its not unlike positive motivation but in a different sense. What I've tried to do, and in most cases succeeded, is to lock onto quotes. My daughter has anxiety and it peaked last year. She attended a psychologist for one session only, she believed she would need many sessions and extended visits. after her session she rang me and told me she wouldn't be attending anymore. She said that the professional told her that her reactions about elements of her childhood were typical reactions for a child in her circumstance. That at 12yo to leave her mothers home and live with her father (me) and for her mother to disown her for such a move was bound to create many mixed and hurtful feelings. She told me she felt that his comment triggered her in a way that she found the answer to the whole problem. "I'm right now dad" she said. Similar things have occurred to me over the decades. Once I fought corruption on a small scale at a local council. I was one of their employees. It confused me. I asked my doctor why the mayor acted the way he has, grandstanding and manipulating the facts - "power Tony, its a lust for power". That was the positive trigger I needed. There was no other need to delve into the smaller details. "Power" covered it all. Reading through some of the threads here has found many more. Posters quote other posters because they "hit the nail on the head" as they say. Can you, the one that falls mentally down the well of despair, use positive quotes, phrases from others to build a stairway back up? We have a "quotes" thread here to. Ones that I have found so helpful from the likes of Churchill, Ghandi and so on Try to focus on these. It might help. Tony WK

ladybird22 "Grey days. ."
  • replies: 6

Ive finally come to the conclusion in my autumn years that I've a melancholy personality and absolutely nothing I do can or will change that fact. I've had bouts of deep depression and anxiety most of my life. I've taken medication for this for many ... View more

Ive finally come to the conclusion in my autumn years that I've a melancholy personality and absolutely nothing I do can or will change that fact. I've had bouts of deep depression and anxiety most of my life. I've taken medication for this for many years now, off and on and accept that ill possibly need to stay on it forever. However the meds don't change what I'm feeling, they don't take away my every day "mood"... Some days I can cope with the world but most days like today it's like a big grey cloud looms over me when I get up. I've been retired for a couple of years and thinking I should join up with a Groupon like minded friendly people...Covid lockdowns put an end to that and now my confidence and self esteem are very low. I've tried to join classes of something new but I'm just not enjoying much at all. I've had to work on a new live in relationship a few years ago and it's been a struggle. I guess I was set in my ways and not very patient or tolerant anymore. I've also recently moved so I'm trying to settle into another new area, so have lost contact with a few people. I don't seem to be able to settle down and get involved much in the community anymore. As I get older I'm losing interest in many things including people. It's awful as I can't be bothered anymore, whereas five years ago at least I'd give things and people a good try. I meet people enough and try new things, but im thinking it's because I've moved house so so many times I've become unsettled in life. I've tried writing a list of things I enjoy doing so on my "Grey days" I can try doing some of them, but im not even in the right head space to bother trying anything. There are a few days that I'm outgoing and interested in life, but the majority of my days are filled with doom n gloom...I really hate being like this and I wish I could change my outlook. Maybe it's winter, but maybe it's just "me" and if I haven't been able to change my outlook by now I never will. Does anybody else just feel like your tank is near empty? Do other people get sick of reading the same thing over n over ; Re: "It's not what happens to you on the outside world, its how you respond to what happens to you!" Sounds good but in reality I doubt whether thus is possible for a lot of us...