Staying well

Prioritising when multiple problems emerge

replies: 2

Hi everyone! Does anyone else feel like the whole world has turned to poo? In the past four years I’ve experienced workplace trauma, sexual assault and drifted apart from friends who have socially retreated for a number of reasons (mostly the times w... View more

Hi everyone! Does anyone else feel like the whole world has turned to poo? In the past four years I’ve experienced workplace trauma, sexual assault and drifted apart from friends who have socially retreated for a number of reasons (mostly the times we’re living in and I’ve sort of done the same thing!). I’m also facing housing issues and am now going through a bunch of stress with a major restructure at work which is becoming combative and draining. Having escaped a toxic work situation I’m worried about going down the same track. On top of all of this I’ve been contacted by a recruiter and am being interviewed for a big job interstate. Old me would have been super excited about the change and jumped at it, but it feels too hard and I haven’t had the headspace to prepare. The thought of leaving my very small support network (mostly family) also upsets me but I know deep down that I need to find a job before things get really bad. I adore my team but we’ll probably be disbanded anyway. Though, I don’t know this for sure yet. I should add that this new job would be a significant payrise and would be amazing for my CV and future. Due to all of the above, I’m suffering with anxiety and the occasional bout of depression, which has affected my confidence as well as my health. I’ve stacked on weight and am feeling it. How do I wade through all of this and prioritise in order to protect my wellbeing? Does anyone have journal prompts or tools they use when feeling overwhelmed? I’m very action oriented and pretty pragmatic but this is a lot! I’ve tried medication and counselling but haven’t had much luck. I feel really stuck and worry about my health mainly. My heart is often raising and I’m not moving my body or taking good care with my nutrition. It kind of feels like I’m in freeze mode. I’m single, female and in my 40s, living alone and given up on dating. Apologies for the lengthy post!

Too skinny

replies: 4

I don’t know what to do, my sister growing up was always over weight and over recent years she has lost a lot and was loving how she looked, but in recent times her weight has dropped so much that it’s starting to scare me. She is very unhealthy, loo... View more

I don’t know what to do, my sister growing up was always over weight and over recent years she has lost a lot and was loving how she looked, but in recent times her weight has dropped so much that it’s starting to scare me. She is very unhealthy, looks like skin and bones but in her mind she still feels fat and panicks whenever she puts on any weight. I have spoken with her and tried to be as honest and open as I can be but I don’t know how to support her, I don’t know what to do next to actually get her the help that she needs, financially neither of us have a great deal of money either. If any one could tell me what worked for them or any resources I could use it would be much appreciated.

Hi everyone

replies: 3

Hello everyone. Just signed up today.

Pmdd, housing crisis and life stages

replies: 2

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and na... View more

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and navigate situations. In the last three years, I have had a terrible break up that spun me out into years of rumination and reignited self hate and the feeling of being unlovable, I have had to move away from my chosen town and community back into my parents house as a result of the housing crisis, I have been diagnosed with a heart issue, Pmdd and cptsd, I have not been mentally well so have cut a lot of people out of my life, my dog died and I feel completely stuck in my life. I am so grateful and understand my privilege to be able to live with my parents but I have been really triggered and my mental health has gone down the drain. I’ve seen a psychologist for about a year but they really didn’t make a dent. I have applied to numerous rentals and have not got any. I moved into a sharehouse earlier this year but that was a disaster (it flooded).I have tried new hobbies, gone of friendship apps, tried asking friends of friends to meet up in order to make new connections and have had absolutely no new luck. My old friends from my home town have all moved away. it feels like the last three years I have tried and tried to live my own life and have been slapped in the face at every turn. I can’t get my own place, my own space and it’s stolen my independence from me. I feel so guilty for cutting off friends. I have treated my family so badly at times. I am embarrassed to be me. I just turned 30 and have nothing to show for it. I don’t know what to do.

Wit - the only answer for torment?

replies: 8

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit... View more

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit. Countless times when I've been abused or slandered I've swallowed it and fumed for a long time. This has resulted in the "steamer effect", my term to describe the pressure cooker within.I havent had the wit to quickly react ideally in a cordial, calm and measured manner to my opponent. "Opponent". Yes we are talking duels here, a fact of life of fighting with other people, an act many find a part of normal life. Once, only once, I predicted a person, in this case my ex defacto partner, that she would approach me on a topic. If so I had an answer for her- I'd had a hobby of building model aircraft for 7 years. She didnt like me spending time at the field. She one day sta down and lit up a *** and said "how much do you think you have spent on your hobby in the last 7 years". I replied "$11,000". To which she replied "are you proud of that"? I replied "far better than the $35,000 you have spent on chain smoking cigarettes". The topic was abandoned. And the topic never resurfaced. I call that premeditated WIT. But premeditated wit does not exist IMO. It was planned to equalise an onslaught of criticism that I believed was not necessary. So, I've seen people in my many workplaces use wit as quick as lightning. A response that leaves the aggressor in their wake or commences a debate. But I dont have that automatic response mechanism in my brain. What is the result of that absence? Torment!! And the long term effect- hibernation. In my case, as stated many times now- hibernation means not locking myself away but some withdrawal from society. Fewer of all people in the end. Fewer meetings with people, fewer clubs to join, fewer facebook friends etc. Effectively, rather than growing wit, I've compensated with less people of whom could hurt me with contact in the first place. The result is less torment. And a happier life. Do any of you have ideas on finding wit? For me I'd need to be on my toes constantly, viewing everyone as a potential enemy. I just want to respond to those abusers out there in an automatic way, to guard myself against humans that feed from nastiness.....

NIP IT IN THE BUD...ideas

replies: 5

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed... View more

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed and I sat and waited. Then when the second guy was "assembling" my kebab I saw some carrot and asked him if he could put some on. I had assumed that as I knocked back onion then added carrot- no big deal. The man said in a loud voice, " I will but you should have told my friend you wanted carrot when you ordered". I said "ok mate". He then repeated himself almost word for word. I repeated "ok mate". He voice even louder he repeated himself a third time. I took $3 out of my pocket and placed it on the counter right in front of him. He asked "what's this for"? I said "a bunch of the highest quality carrots". In the next 2 minutes while he finished packaging the kebab he tried to smooth things over But I was fine, I had stopped the lecture, stopped the feeling of being trapped that was dictated by him and my anxiety. It drenched the conversation and took away his power and thrills. Previously I'd never have thought of easy ways to deal with such situations. I would have allowed this egotist to squash me then spent the day hurt and angry. His display was far over the top for the situation. I've found that to reduce anxiety I need closure to a situation. And as quickly as I can. But in a measured way and not in a confrontational way otherwise the guilt will remain and upset the result. I've often wondered why I love to brainstorm others. It's partly because I lack a little confidence but it is also because it makes sense to get many others opinions so you can makes choices based on many ideas and input through others eyes. If you are over confident and well...lets say arrogant, you might trip over your yourself due to not consulting others. Unless you are well qualified in a field, like a profession, then you can do so. Do you have any other ideas, easy ideas by which you can share here that would help to deal with situations that most likely would lead to anxiety, guilt, shame or depression?

Depression-distraction and variety

replies: 2

Medication is crutial as part of staying well if you suffer from depression. But we know we still have our depressed periods. Psychiatry is advisable but what about the periods in between appointments? We need road detours on depression street. Like ... View more

Medication is crutial as part of staying well if you suffer from depression. But we know we still have our depressed periods. Psychiatry is advisable but what about the periods in between appointments? We need road detours on depression street. Like one of those ramps they have when descending steep mountains where trucks can shunt. Distraction is such a tool to use. Why? You find it hard to get out of bed. But we know you have to visit the bathroom and kitchen at times. Then drag yourself to walk 50 metres down the road. In that time you are using your senses...you smell flowers or even pollution, you hear noises, you feel the wind upon your skin and you focus on the environment. ..all things you wouldnt be doing while in bed. Distraction is an incredibly powerful tool. Many of us have moods due to our illness. Bipolar moods are part of the package but coping with stress causes moods. This easily elevates to snapping at our partners. Many recommend time out. Time out includes distraction if you take that time out AWAY from the conflict zone. Google Topic: relationship strife? The peace pipe- beyondblue Years ago I used to restore vintage cars. I gave that up and flew model planes. Yes they were a good distraction but as they were my only interest/hobby they didnt stop me dwelling on my problems. In recent years my hobbies have included tinkering in my shed, gardening, cooking, designing, building our caravan, bb champion activity and outdoors like collecting firewood or garden stones. I want to add gold detecting and photography As I've got older physical activity like gardening has to have a 1-2 hour limit so by default I've switched interests several times a day which results in more efficient distraction. It seems I stumbled onto a happier way to avoid depression. A relative of mine lives in the city. Upon talking to her about her depression she now has a large jigsaw in a spare room, plays tennis, organises tennis events, plays scrabble nightly with hubby, cooks cheap meals to save money (pensioner) and maintains a vegetable garden. She was reluctant to garden as she rents but we went to a large hardware and purchased those iron garden beds you can empty when moving house. Having a variety of interests spreads you mentally and physically. Distraction is an effective way of switching your attention more than is obvious. Both ideas you'll find effective as your senses are activated to changes in environment. Can you use distraction? Tony WK

Shift worker

replies: 4

Hi, I'm a shift worker.My work is a correctional officer, so my day is feeled with negativity between inmates and officers.I have worked there 6 years and have no friends at work and I have no friends outside of work. My days off are during the week ... View more

Hi, I'm a shift worker.My work is a correctional officer, so my day is feeled with negativity between inmates and officers.I have worked there 6 years and have no friends at work and I have no friends outside of work. My days off are during the week and I just spend them alone not talking to anyone. I don't have hobbies and even if I try new thing to do I do them alone. I like hiking but again no one to enjoy this with so I go alone and camping alone. I try hard not to let the negativity to creep up I even use positive quote stress balls to keep the positive in and negative out. I've kept the anxiety and depression out but I don't know what to do about the social side. I've tried anti depressant but they just made me feel like a space cadet and put weight on alot.

Burning out already

replies: 10

I just reply to a post and now I feeling drained by it.I can really feel the dilema they are in and somehow the hard work they have ahead I felt as tho I was going thru it as well.This cant be goodHas anyone else after replying felt the same by engag... View more

I just reply to a post and now I feeling drained by it.I can really feel the dilema they are in and somehow the hard work they have ahead I felt as tho I was going thru it as well.This cant be goodHas anyone else after replying felt the same by engaging in these forums or am I just not the right person to be replying to these thingsI not reply to any new ones again today

hi there

replies: 2

hi

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