Staying well

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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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FaithHopeLove in between phase
  • replies: 1

hello thank u 4 reading i wanted 2 post here bout my current situation. i am in what i call an in between phase where i have finished 5 years of study & i am seeing where i might end up living. where i live has been stressful & i realised 2day the ex... View more

hello thank u 4 reading i wanted 2 post here bout my current situation. i am in what i call an in between phase where i have finished 5 years of study & i am seeing where i might end up living. where i live has been stressful & i realised 2day the extent of it which is, that i had a mould infestation that started 2016 where they blamed me 4 it then they treated it but i chat with a lady 2day that said she had a mould thing & now has a disease & low immunity which made me think maybe this is same with me as ive had low immunity issue 4 a while eek with that i think will be approaching a dr. Anyway so thats that but the other thing i wanted 2 mention here is just having time 2 sit & let things settle far 2 much has been happening 4 me since 2019 which might post bout elsewhere. The wins are that i now have a dip counselling a cert mh & a 2nd dip & i volunteer at the Prayer helpline, anyway being that this thread is re staying well i will mention here that i am seeking the silver lining in my life & trying 2 reflect in thankfulness such as i have a home & food & live in a nice area. Also, i have realised with my chats here that self preservation is key we need to put self first if we r going to b of help 2 others i mentioned 2 my friends re that analogy think i heard re we need 2 put our oxygen mask on first in order 2 help others God Bless

Roses_191 Im happy!
  • replies: 3

I got an A on my math exam All my therapies and diets helped me to stay stress-free

I got an A on my math exam All my therapies and diets helped me to stay stress-free

Michy007 Determining the cause- anxiety/depression
  • replies: 12

I'm hoping to hear others stories, re how anxiety is determined (the cause). Or are there many out there who suffer with anxiety, and unclear what the true cause is?My understanding is there can be causes that go deeper than what appears on the surfa... View more

I'm hoping to hear others stories, re how anxiety is determined (the cause). Or are there many out there who suffer with anxiety, and unclear what the true cause is?My understanding is there can be causes that go deeper than what appears on the surface.I also don't refer to it as 'my anxiety' as that would indicate 'I own it' when I don't. I don't own it, yet I do need to understand the what, and how? (what is the underlying cause, and then understand how to 'fix')For some of us, triggers or fears can come from an early age, and only ever trying to find our way through life, whatever that entails. I believe it is fair to say that many of us find the only way we can navigate our way through life, is based on learnt survival skills from an early age. Survival skills we learnt, haven't always worked in life. I have a fair idea as to what has shaped my life, trauma from a young age. Then events through life became somewhat traumatic- traumatic in comparison to say someone who didn't come from a dysfunctional family. None of this is new to me, yet have to say that I've never learned to 'unlearn' thoughts, and learn new ones that are helpful. I’ve had major struggles with thought processes in life, resulting in anxiety and depression, even if just from time to time. I’ve seen many therapists through life, yet none who have been able to break it down, in a way that makes sense, or to create change. Never seeming to get to the root problem. Whether it is abandonment issues/fear, or whatever, to-date I’ve just not found the right help. I would be most interested to hear of others stories, even if still having challenges

white knight Intermittent mental disability block
  • replies: 2

I dont know about others here but I seem to have the above. My direct issue is that sometimes I cannot cope with minor details but that could be an old male thing. But I think its more serious than that. eg My mother figure passed last January. I'm e... View more

I dont know about others here but I seem to have the above. My direct issue is that sometimes I cannot cope with minor details but that could be an old male thing. But I think its more serious than that. eg My mother figure passed last January. I'm executor and have to do many tasks soon like empty out her house and huge garage that her husband (passed 2 years ago) filled with machinery and wood for carpentry work. It's a big task. So next month we plan to stay there 4 days and do it all. My problem isnt the workload ahead but my inability to focus on the details that my wife (bless her heart) sometimes brings up. Eg who are we going to give the glassware to?, the tools, etc maybe we should get the carpets shampooed, do you think we can pressure wash the paint ? and so on. These are normal questions but I shut down as I cant easily cope with thinking about these things. It's like only major things I can plan like boxes, pressure washer and garbage bags to take with us then wait till we get there and then think about how we go about the finer tasks. When I shut down I tell my wife I cant cope and now she understands but in the past it was too hard for her to comprehend. Another example is finances- I no longer have the ability to think deep while driving the car. If my wife asks me what I spent $98 on two weeks ago my bad memory wont tell me what. If a description isnt possible eg paypal then its anyones guess and if she said "was it for the car"? I begin to get frustrated. Memory loss is a buggar. One day we had $105 taken out of our account by a company we didnt know, we thought we were scammed. After an hour tracing it etc I recalled where I was at the time and it was at a service station for fuel. But we argued as the car couldnt take such an amount of fuel, so I had to think further. Turned out when you add the 3 pies, 2 sausage rolls, block of chocolate and thick shake it adds up eh. lol. Being eftpos there was only the company name (say Mercury Co) but not a fuel suppliers name eg BP. I'm convinced medication over the years is to blame but my dad also had depression and got stressed easily and left such tasks to my mother. Not my wifes fault BTW. Anyone understand? I cant write things down because I'd have to remember to do that. TonyWK

Alex_ Impulsive lying
  • replies: 2

Hey, i have always had a lyinv probblem just little white lyes and i just cant stop i dony want to lie at all I do it will out even realising what i said and i feel like crap I tell my self i got to stop cant i just can Any advice is welcome

Hey, i have always had a lyinv probblem just little white lyes and i just cant stop i dony want to lie at all I do it will out even realising what i said and i feel like crap I tell my self i got to stop cant i just can Any advice is welcome

Guest_10343 Building a "Bad Day" Toolkit - What is in yours?
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I’ve been reading through the threads here and finding so much comfort in knowing I’m not alone.I wanted to start a discussion about preparation. I’ve noticed that when my anxiety is peaking or the "black dog" visits, I get terrible deci... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve been reading through the threads here and finding so much comfort in knowing I’m not alone.I wanted to start a discussion about preparation. I’ve noticed that when my anxiety is peaking or the "black dog" visits, I get terrible decision fatigue. I know I should do things to help myself, but I can’t figure out what to do in the moment.So, I’ve been trying to create a mental (and physical) "Bad Day Toolkit" a short list of things I can turn to without having to think about it.My toolkit currently looks like this:Sensory: A weighted blanket and noise-cancelling headphones (absolute lifesavers).Movement: Just sitting outside in the sun for 10 minutes (even if I don't go for a walk).Comfort: Re-watching a TV show I’ve seen 100 times because it’s safe and predictable.I’m looking for more ideas to add to the list. What is in your "Bad Day Toolkit"?

ApolloCat Life feels pointless
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I’m about to turn 26 in a few days and looking at my life currently, I’m in the exact same position I was in when I started living independently at 18. I work a job that barely covers my cost of living and I’ve had the same debt for the las... View more

Hi there, I’m about to turn 26 in a few days and looking at my life currently, I’m in the exact same position I was in when I started living independently at 18. I work a job that barely covers my cost of living and I’ve had the same debt for the last 8 years that I just can’t seem to get rid of. I’ve tried starting a business in a field I’m interested in and good at, but finding new customers and trying to keep the money flowing seems next to impossible, especially given that my role is not a necessity for most customers. I spent the last 5 years getting my cert 3 and then diploma in a field I also enjoy, but the workplace itself is toxic and has honestly left me traumatised even thinking about going back to full time work. I'm feeling hopeless and like there’s no point in even trying at this point because after everything I’ve worked towards and tried to do has left me in the same position I started in. I have nothing to show for it all except a few fancy pieces of paper. I had a friend tell me that I’m going to have to work a job I hate if I want to make enough money to survive and save, but the thought of that terrifies me and makes me feel burnt out before even doing it. I just don’t know what to do or where to look. Is there any point in continuing my business, or should I just give up. Should I find a full time job that covers the bills and just try to manage the suicidal thoughts I know will come back if I burn out. im stuck, terrified and depressed at the thought that my life is going to be like this forever

Guest_10343 Does anyone else ignore physical health when their mental health is low?
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I wanted to start a discussion about the link between our mental state and looking after our physical bodies.I’ve noticed a pattern in myself: when my anxiety/depression flares up, I completely stop dealing with basic physical health. I’l... View more

Hi everyone,I wanted to start a discussion about the link between our mental state and looking after our physical bodies.I’ve noticed a pattern in myself: when my anxiety/depression flares up, I completely stop dealing with basic physical health. I’ll ignore a nagging cough, put off getting a blood test, or let a script run out simply because the logistics of "being a patient" feel overwhelming.It’s like a vicious cycle, I feel physically average, which makes my mood worse, but I don’t have the mental energy to go sit in a GP waiting room for 45 minutes to fix it. It feels like climbing a mountain just to leave the house.I actually managed to break the cycle yesterday for a minor issue I've been ignoring for weeks. I didn't have it in me to go to my local clinic, so I just used hola after hour service to get it sorted from the couch in the evening. Honestly, just bypassing the "receptionist small talk" and the sensory overload of the waiting room made me feel so much more in control. It’s a small win, but it felt good to actually tick a health box without spiraling.Does anyone else struggle with this specific type of avoidance? How do you force yourself to pay attention to your physical health when your brain is telling you to just hide away?I’d love to hear if you have any "low energy" hacks for staying on top of this stuff.

Alikiwi Alone at 70
  • replies: 16

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tas... View more

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tassie who I very rarely hear from. I've also had 5 failed marriages, last one of 10 years ending last year after I packed her off back to the USA. Short version is she stayed in bed 23 hours every day doing nothing, got addicted to painkillers and even after doctors warned her off it and then proved there was nothing physically wrong with her, the GP still wouldn't force her off it. By that stage she had become abusive. I had 1 friend of 8 years in this small town but she passed away last month totally unexpectedly. The only other close friends are in another town, and any contact has to be done by me. So, life is frustrating, and I only see people when I go shopping each week. Have a couple of good neighbours but rarely see them as they work and don't seem to be around much on the weekends either. So, there's my lot, and I'm wondering, why bother? Not sure this is the right place to post, so feel free to move it.

Karioshi Groundhog Day's
  • replies: 6

Hello there, my name is Steven, im a male in his mid twenties & i need to speak about something thats been lingering on my mind for the past few years, I already tried explaining this to family/friends, all I get is the starry eyed response. How does... View more

Hello there, my name is Steven, im a male in his mid twenties & i need to speak about something thats been lingering on my mind for the past few years, I already tried explaining this to family/friends, all I get is the starry eyed response. How does the majority do the same thing everyday like its nothing, you gotta drag yourself out of bed every morning just to go to a place you never Intentionly wanted to just to trade your time for a piece of paper with people printed on there who i have no clue nor interest of. You have to face impatient people on the road, hot heads, traffic accidents, traffic, wannabe mad max actors, then when you get to the workplace, you're forced to work like a robot with people who you dont even get along with like putting up with unessesary stress & criticism even just by being at you job, then you get scolded by bosses who hardly praise you for doing a good job but shame you for not trying harder when you just wanna get the work done & go home with no drama's etc. Here's the kicker tho, despite how much you dont like it, you have to do it anyways, not because you want to but because thats how the system's design according to meritocracy terms, after years of evolution right up into the so called modern era, you think by now things would start to get easier for everybody, instead they just get more harder & harder with no praises but belittledness by bosses, coworkers, family, all becuase you think things could be better & not wanna be part of the rat race. Now I do recieve a side income, its not something I can live on permanently due to how crazily impulsively expensive everthing continues to be, but on the side I job hop alot, & with this privilege I came to know alot just how disturbing & shallow the workforce is today, most people have a really nasty bogus attitude, they value their ego than looking at facts, everybodys always putting up a font all the time, theres a certain amount of workplace politics that youre forced to deal with, you get treated indifferently all becuase you wanna get the job done & not engage in vauge small talk conversations, youre forced to play a rigged game that you didn't sign up for just to impress others who you dont even like, you always have to deal with the feeling of getting laid off or how am I gonna pay my rent & bills etc, if behind theirs minds are saying that they dont like this & this isnt right, then why keep on perpetuating this foolish cycle, the truth is it can be better, tho it seems everybody wants to keep things the same forever, like how is this even possible? Its no wonder people get depressed, anxious, miserable, ptsd, ocd, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, arthritis, insomnia, anhedonia, easily irratated, anger issues, then they seek help only to be put on anti depression tablets, therapy, psychologists, psychiatrists, mental institutions etc, like do not see where im coming here. Then you have destructive substances that exist like alcohol, smoking, pornorgraphy, gambling addictions, if these things did not exist just imagine how even more crazy the world would be. We are all working ourselves to death over what a pipedream that most likely will never become a reality because of how greedy & self centred this species has become, only to exist for the top 1% who are machiavellian's, narcissistic & manipulators to their own citizens who actually put their trust into because who else are they gonna trust? While growing up ive always been told to be grateful being given life, its easy enough to say so, but what is there to be really grateful for, a life where im forced to participate in foolish schemes, to give my time that i wont get back to corporations who see me as a number & a tool, to realise everything i gained start to fade away as time goes on, to be part of a mediocre society thats passive aggressive, suppressive & pretentious, seriously if i knew things were gonna be like this before stepping foot into this realm with a choice then I'd choose not to be here, sure life gives but mostly takes, you age, you start loosing loved ones, you become obsolete from your job, it doesnt care about you, which is why its very hard to find a real good reason to bring someone here just so they can go thru the same things that youre going thru, sure misery loves company but also happiness doesnt loves misery, its a vicious cycle. Anyways thats all I have for now, thanks for reading.