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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Sammy Stressed
  • replies: 7

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treat... View more

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treatment and was using more alcohol to medicate and was verbally abusive and was accusing me of sleeping with other men etc but I was putting it down to his love for me etc and left when he became physically abusive.I am now 50 dating a man who is 58. We are ok but kind and respectful and it’s going okrecently in a funeral met my ex. We went out for breakfast. He has now married his childhood sweetheart. I was married for nearly 20 years.he said that he wanted to leave me as I was working too much and that’s why he went crazy etc . His new wife is living with him for a year. I feel like 10 years of loneliness has made him come to terms with his illness and maybe he accepts it now and takes treatment and doesn’t drink or he is still denial of his illness and his new wife will take time to find his irrationality. We tried getting help but he declined any treatments saying he is fine and on alcohol overuse he will play up.now I feel guilty and failure if I have done something wrong? Have I been a bad partner , or is the new wife love turned him better …. I had enough of him by 20 years as slowly he got worse and was in total denial.Am I incapable of love and care ?I can be a bit like self care, me first but I am always easy going and chilled person. A girlfriend who was with him for 18 months was a psychologist and she left him saying he was alcoholic and workaholic.I felt he was having mood swings and won’t do anything in the relationship but at the same time he used to be flat mostly but I didn’t mind that as he was helpful. Slowly when he started becoming paranoid and abusive after alcohol it was too much to cope.how is this new wife coping ? She is widowed and had difficult life and hence maybe she will stroke his ego soo much that he might be better ? Or bipolar relationships untreated is always difficult to handle for anyone ? I also have to work on my own flaws like money focused , more self focused but at the same time cares for partner and a friendly partner too.Not sure if I am selfish/ self centred

BeyondBlue Beyond Burnout webinar- What's next?
  • replies: 17

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly ... View more

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly is a powerful step toward healing, prevention, and knowing that you’re not alone. If you’re unsure where to start your conversations about burnout, this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Burnout and Mental Health: Including our Burnout Check-In Tool and practical tips on how to stay well at work Personal Stories: Read about people’s experiences with burnout We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Our webinar recording is now available to watch: Beyond Burnout Webinar recording Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

blondguy Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!
  • replies: 4033

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the las... View more

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love. Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place? I am in a dark place, how can I love myself? I dont deserve to love myself I am depressed...How can I love myself? I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself? I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I? I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later' When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask. I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome Thankyou so much Paul

quirkywords Is positivity always helpful.?
  • replies: 92

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can... View more

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous. However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling. What do you think? So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain? Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed. Let me know what you think. Is there a time and place for positivity?

white knight Take a swim of empathy
  • replies: 4

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psy... View more

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psychological term, but it's generally defined as a person who is highly attuned to the emotions of others. Empathy is an essential skill for all kinds of relationships. But people with very high levels of it may have a hard time setting boundaries between themselves and others. I think that hits the mark. But metaphorically I would say that I'm living in a bath of empathy where there are no enemies, no danger but the water there that I swim in are made from built up tears over nearly 70 years. The deeper it gets the more at home I feel. If I climb the ladder to mix with others then I'm subjecting myself to dangers. However I like other empaths are really emotionally alone most of the time and we yearn to dive back in, back home, it seems that when life is a blur a translucent vision of beautiful things like birds, dogs cats, wildlife ... all harmless wonderful things, thats where love is. The penalty for being an empath is that your state of mind isnt other peoples problem. "Normal" people are quite happy dealing with each other, emotional - rarely, ready to defend and prepared to attack verbally or worse is part of day to day life. They watch you swim and recall when a loved passed or a pet and quickly they return to sipping their wine or drowning but in beer. Maybe they dont drink so they might take a deep breath and get on with it!. For us empaths we reach the side of the pool and observe the fallen. We get out of out comfort station and built a dam wall to save them slipping into a place they might not return or sit on a log listening or lifting them.. the crowd still mingle and we direct them that way ... they turn and we are gone... submerged. Being an empath is a unbelievable feeling of emotion that take us where few can go, an emotion level that is amazingly sad, amazingly so unbelievable its hard to describe but one thing is certain for many of us... we wouldnt have it any other way. In the words of Stephen Fry "if I was reincarnated I would want my bipolar, I wouldnt know how to live any other way.... TonyWK

Guest_22043504 Worry and anxious
  • replies: 2

Love to know others tips on this. Most times before one of our adult children..still at home will have an important event or go away on a holiday, I stress that there general health will be well eg: no cold/flu etc...so they can enjoy their trip or s... View more

Love to know others tips on this. Most times before one of our adult children..still at home will have an important event or go away on a holiday, I stress that there general health will be well eg: no cold/flu etc...so they can enjoy their trip or special event. I know my mum always said to me 'stay well...if you are not well you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much'. Any help would be great for this mum to break this awful cycle. x

Clara1 Health Crisis
  • replies: 2

My neighbour’s niece is having a health crisis, possibly cancer and is in hospital. I have spoken to my neighbour about this. I have not seen the niece in some months but I worry about her. I know they are not my family but they have always been nice... View more

My neighbour’s niece is having a health crisis, possibly cancer and is in hospital. I have spoken to my neighbour about this. I have not seen the niece in some months but I worry about her. I know they are not my family but they have always been nice to me and I want them to be well. Not sure where to proceed from here.

white knight Finding peace and feeding your mind
  • replies: 2

Some members have sought tranquillity in their lives but simply don't know where to start. If they think camping is the answer I can vouch it certainly is a start. However- it can take time to wind down Eg we headed off with our caravan three days ag... View more

Some members have sought tranquillity in their lives but simply don't know where to start. If they think camping is the answer I can vouch it certainly is a start. However- it can take time to wind down Eg we headed off with our caravan three days ago. First day I vomited, then it intensified and now I'm OK, this happens every trip caused by moving out of my comfort zone sparking anxiety. Now we're settled on a riverbank but for me I need to mentally go much deeper. This might give you my meaning- WHERE A FAMILY USED TO TREAD There's something about Australia that runs a chill up and down ya backWhen we stroll along the rivers where the colonial whips would crack And those same chills would come and go like bushies about to wedLikely the sandy foundations of a shingled hut, where a family use to tread So it's not just a stroll but a magic left behindAnd the ancient owners hunting ground where the river forever windsFor there's that depth of green and gold and the need to build and settleAnd the colonial wife with grit beside a steaming kettle We didn't just build our shacks nor conquer every rocky craggWe plough virgin land behind a determined draughty nagAnd the miners cottages sprang up where Eureka found its wayAnd the swaggies filled every wagon track without a map nor means to pay For this great land of Aussie pride is a gem we embrace with lustLet's remember the gold diggers that dug but only found the dust There's something about Australia that runs a chill up and down your backWhen we stroll along the rivers where the colonial whips would crack TonyWK But we're not all poets. What I'm eluding to could include merely appreciating one breath of air, valuing the sun on your face, and steak on a campfire or the absence of humans those that don't contribute towards your well being "Staying well" also should include "seeking ideal conditions to enable you to be as well as possible then staying well" which is governed by the frequency of your vacations. Sometimes we need to feed our minds to guide it to what is an individuals ultimate peace. What is your method? Do you relate? TonyWK

TrueSeeker Good food for better mood
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I think that we all experienced how a good feed can make us feel better but we do need to keep it in healthy levels and that can spoil the good feeling. I'd like to share my experience with food and how we managed to get that great fe... View more

Hello everyone, I think that we all experienced how a good feed can make us feel better but we do need to keep it in healthy levels and that can spoil the good feeling. I'd like to share my experience with food and how we managed to get that great feeling of full stomach from hearty food while keeping our weight under control. Some time ago we started putting on weight due to health issues and just purely from getting old. I've never used to have weight problems while my partner has struggled all his life that by the way never ever bothered me. But I didn't like myself putting on weight and was worried that it could get out of hand and the earlier I'll deal with it, the easier it'll be. So we did some research on how to lose weight while still being able to get a good fix that we both love. We came across intermittent fasting and it sounded really good to us so we thought we give a gowhile adjusting it a little bit to our liking. We needed to lose weight first so had to go a bit hard on it to start with. Our target was one kilo a month, we thought that it was sustainable and not too painful. We didn't want to put ourselves off dieting. So we decided to have one big hearty meal every two days. Anything in between just to have tiny small bites just when the hunger gets too much, it could be anything. We just have a little bit of cheese, some nuts, piece of fruit, slice of bread and sometimes even a glass of water can take the edge of hunger away. It took us a year to get to the weight we were comfortable with. I lost 8 kilos, my partner lost 12 kilos. He always has to be better at everything! haha Now, we just keep our target weight, we do one hearty meal every day and have tiny meals the rest of the day to manage the hunger. When our weight goes up, we have a day off and go back to tiny meals and the weight goes down again. I love how we are able to have a good feed and get that comfortable feeling that everything is ok while keeping our weight under control. Here's couple of more tips:We bought a proper scale and got into habit of weighing ourselves every morning so we can see what food does what. One kilo fluctuation is ok but anything more than that needs to be fixed. We hunted for recipes for food that we really like. Now with the internet it is very easy to find recipes for food that we missed from childhood or anything we felt like eating. We still like our takeaway now and then but not as much as we used to. I think it would be great for everyone to share our stories, food or recipes that make us feel better. PS Please try to watch the weight as it can spoil the fun.

Alikiwi Alone at 70
  • replies: 4

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tas... View more

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tassie who I very rarely hear from. I've also had 5 failed marriages, last one of 10 years ending last year after I packed her off back to the USA. Short version is she stayed in bed 23 hours every day doing nothing, got addicted to painkillers and even after doctors warned her off it and then proved there was nothing physically wrong with her, the GP still wouldn't force her off it. By that stage she had become abusive. I had 1 friend of 8 years in this small town but she passed away last month totally unexpectedly. The only other close friends are in another town, and any contact has to be done by me. So, life is frustrating, and I only see people when I go shopping each week. Have a couple of good neighbours but rarely see them as they work and don't seem to be around much on the weekends either. So, there's my lot, and I'm wondering, why bother? Not sure this is the right place to post, so feel free to move it.