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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Sherpp How do I know if I'm faking a personality disorder?
  • replies: 7

Hai, I'm 16, this is kind of a long vent I guess n some of this probably won't make any sense, and I have no idea if this fits the like forum website guidelines or not either so if ur confused I can probably clarify, and ive tried my best to be as ho... View more

Hai, I'm 16, this is kind of a long vent I guess n some of this probably won't make any sense, and I have no idea if this fits the like forum website guidelines or not either so if ur confused I can probably clarify, and ive tried my best to be as honest and considerate about possible alternatives Usually I'd try to be honest, and I know the things I can do and the way I act can seem outlandish or distressing, but people label me as solely doing or feeling all of those things for some kind of shock purpose? I mean I know I can be cruel sometimes, like since I was basically 7 I used to immediately want to hurt whoever hurt my feelings soo my mum basically just got me tested for whatever neurodivergent stuff she could, and I have ADHD and like a really low thing of autism that barely even counts, and I guess you could argue most of my violent impulse control was just my ADHD or something, but as I kind of got older it felt like I was kind of getting meaner, like I had a dog my aunt had n I used to pull her ears or choke and squeeze her until I heard her screaming... and now that I'm a little older I've had a few run in withs police and been admitted to hospital for mental crisis shit, like I smashed a car window by accident and it cut my arm all up. and besides all of that total psychopath textbook definition stuff I've had like a lot of trouble with work commitments and at school, I got suspended several times at the same school for 'bullying and threatening staff and other students' among just being late to class or skipping n minor uniform infractions, one point they just told me they couldn't have me for the rest of the year unless I had ADHD medication and opted to have me held back... Anyway during this time my aunts dog, the same one I basically tortured had died and my mother had a heart attack so I was moved to a group home until she was physically fit enough to care for me again... anyway the group home I stayed at wasn't really that bad I guess, besides the kid who threatened who stab me to death after I smashed up his tv and started beating him up after he tried to push me over; it was actually just really standard. Even though I ran away in the middle of the night and walked like half way to the other side of the city 3 times, and at one point I just stood on a ledge and said I'd kill myself on a helpline n they called police to drag me down. Actually I ran away when I was living with my mother a lot too, whenever her boyfriend was kinda mean to me I guess, I mean at one point I came up with a story and said that he was abusive and hit me and my brother' I mean he did ACTUALLY hit my brother but honestly I can tell within myself he really wasn't that bad to me..? Or I guess he was that bad to me... so court believed me and had me also moved out of my mothers house, on top of the heart attack shit actually it was like a huge comorbid excuse to disown me... anyway I said he was hitting me and stuff to my counsellor and they took it seriously and my mum was all upset at me driving to court n I had to present there with my brother, who honestly might be more insane than me I guess bcus he used to try and hit my mum and stab us n he stole stuff and took drugs and was always crying over his friend trying to kill themself. He said I tried to drown him in our pool lots growing up though, I cant deny or agree bcus I dont remember. And besides all of that traumatic shit, like my dad also divorcing my mother and having a HUGE custody battle over me and my brother trying to say I was kidnapped n trying to basically deport me I had a weird amount of internet access, like I think I was honestly molested or groomed online but I don't rlly care, like I found communities and met real people and I saw a scary amount of like real car accidents and people being shot to death. Anyway just now that I think about it, how I process it all, even though maybe at one point I was faking a personality disorder or something I GENUINELY think I might have one now, not like It's really distressing to think about or anything, I mean it would b kinda cool to have it like a funny sitcom personality trait, but because Ive been bragging about thinking I have one any actual counsellor I've met already dismisses any kinda conversation I bring up relating it bcus I've "tried to hard to fake one..." like I feel like the more I unravel and learn about myself, and how I just process my own life, other peoples feelings their humanity and everything... I feel like I genuinely maybe do actually have something there... and I also really don't wanna stab someone and go to jail,

amd1953 Simple Pleasures
  • replies: 1

Today, I went for a walk in the winter sunshine. I sat beside a fresh mountain spring and listened to the stories it had to tell. The older I get the more I find pleasure in the very simple things that life has to offer.I like to escape the noise and... View more

Today, I went for a walk in the winter sunshine. I sat beside a fresh mountain spring and listened to the stories it had to tell. The older I get the more I find pleasure in the very simple things that life has to offer.I like to escape the noise and haste of the city and make my way up beyond the treeline where the light falls of snow are lying like coconut icing on a cake. I stop to listen to the wind through the tree branches. It is like a quiet whisper that carries the wisdom of the ages. I hear the birds singing but they stay well out of sight because I don't belong here. Eventually, the trees end, and I can look down into the valley below to where the city spreads out like a sleeping snow leopard. I meet up with the stream again and stand alone, quietly watching the fresh clean water cascade over the mossy rocks worn smooth by age. What a magical place this is and what a privilege it is to experience the peace and solitude it provides.amd1953

Emm068 giving up drinking
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, I have suffered depression for some years and are on medication. Although unfortunately I drink way too much and last night realised that I must give up. I just cried and cried because I know how hard this will be and I dont have any wil... View more

Hi everyone, I have suffered depression for some years and are on medication. Although unfortunately I drink way too much and last night realised that I must give up. I just cried and cried because I know how hard this will be and I dont have any willpower and I need to find strength that I just dont know if I can find at the moment...Does anyone have suggestions that may help me on the road to recovery and happiness again? Thanks in advanceEmm

amd1953 Beyond the Blue Horizon
  • replies: 3

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of li... View more

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of life? Who knows? Who cares? Well, I certainly do. I want to understand everything that comes my way whether it is meant for me or not. Life is short enough without the sensation of feeling cheated and deceived. The challenge is to discover how to cut through the nonsense that cloaks its true meaning. If I were a camel, I would feel at home in the desert. If I were a dromedary, I would, indeed, feel cheated. See Wikipedia for camels/dromedaries. Spoiler alert! A dromedary only has one hump. If I were searching for a new home, I would look to the exoplanets. Cosmologically speaking, a much better place to permanently reside. The moon would be much too close for comfort. I am thinking another galaxy would be great. Certainly within a short drive to the restaurant at the end of the universe for tea and crumpets. Like Albert Camus, I am a rebel without a cause. I choose the absurdist rather than the existentialist philosophy. Everything in this life is engineered towards those with skills, talent and the will to succeed. I have now lost sight of the blue horizon. I am in freefall back to earth where I will lie quietly in the lush meadows and star at the blue sky.amd1953

Sammy Stressed
  • replies: 7

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treat... View more

I felt very unloved , alone and unspecial I got divorced from bipolar spouse 10 years ago. We are calm and supportive of each other in terms of being cordial and caring.I had 2 girls who are in 20s now and moved to another country as ex refused treatment and was using more alcohol to medicate and was verbally abusive and was accusing me of sleeping with other men etc but I was putting it down to his love for me etc and left when he became physically abusive.I am now 50 dating a man who is 58. We are ok but kind and respectful and it’s going okrecently in a funeral met my ex. We went out for breakfast. He has now married his childhood sweetheart. I was married for nearly 20 years.he said that he wanted to leave me as I was working too much and that’s why he went crazy etc . His new wife is living with him for a year. I feel like 10 years of loneliness has made him come to terms with his illness and maybe he accepts it now and takes treatment and doesn’t drink or he is still denial of his illness and his new wife will take time to find his irrationality. We tried getting help but he declined any treatments saying he is fine and on alcohol overuse he will play up.now I feel guilty and failure if I have done something wrong? Have I been a bad partner , or is the new wife love turned him better …. I had enough of him by 20 years as slowly he got worse and was in total denial.Am I incapable of love and care ?I can be a bit like self care, me first but I am always easy going and chilled person. A girlfriend who was with him for 18 months was a psychologist and she left him saying he was alcoholic and workaholic.I felt he was having mood swings and won’t do anything in the relationship but at the same time he used to be flat mostly but I didn’t mind that as he was helpful. Slowly when he started becoming paranoid and abusive after alcohol it was too much to cope.how is this new wife coping ? She is widowed and had difficult life and hence maybe she will stroke his ego soo much that he might be better ? Or bipolar relationships untreated is always difficult to handle for anyone ? I also have to work on my own flaws like money focused , more self focused but at the same time cares for partner and a friendly partner too.Not sure if I am selfish/ self centred

BeyondBlue Beyond Burnout webinar- What's next?
  • replies: 17

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly ... View more

Hi everyone, You’re probably here because you want to either prevent or recover from burnout, or you’ve just attended Beyond Burnout. We understand that this topic resonates deeply with many of us. Burnout can affect anyone, and discussing it openly is a powerful step toward healing, prevention, and knowing that you’re not alone. If you’re unsure where to start your conversations about burnout, this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Burnout and Mental Health: Including our Burnout Check-In Tool and practical tips on how to stay well at work Personal Stories: Read about people’s experiences with burnout We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Our webinar recording is now available to watch: Beyond Burnout Webinar recording Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

blondguy Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!
  • replies: 4033

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the las... View more

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-) I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love. Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place? I am in a dark place, how can I love myself? I dont deserve to love myself I am depressed...How can I love myself? I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself? I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I? I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later' When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask. I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome Thankyou so much Paul

quirkywords Is positivity always helpful.?
  • replies: 92

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can... View more

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time. I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful. How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous. However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling. What do you think? So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain? Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed. Let me know what you think. Is there a time and place for positivity?

white knight Take a swim of empathy
  • replies: 4

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psy... View more

I would guess that many of you are empaths. The Community Champions here are, no doubt and a high percentage of members are also. So what is the advantages and disadvantages of being an empath... and what is it exactly? "Empath" isn't an official psychological term, but it's generally defined as a person who is highly attuned to the emotions of others. Empathy is an essential skill for all kinds of relationships. But people with very high levels of it may have a hard time setting boundaries between themselves and others. I think that hits the mark. But metaphorically I would say that I'm living in a bath of empathy where there are no enemies, no danger but the water there that I swim in are made from built up tears over nearly 70 years. The deeper it gets the more at home I feel. If I climb the ladder to mix with others then I'm subjecting myself to dangers. However I like other empaths are really emotionally alone most of the time and we yearn to dive back in, back home, it seems that when life is a blur a translucent vision of beautiful things like birds, dogs cats, wildlife ... all harmless wonderful things, thats where love is. The penalty for being an empath is that your state of mind isnt other peoples problem. "Normal" people are quite happy dealing with each other, emotional - rarely, ready to defend and prepared to attack verbally or worse is part of day to day life. They watch you swim and recall when a loved passed or a pet and quickly they return to sipping their wine or drowning but in beer. Maybe they dont drink so they might take a deep breath and get on with it!. For us empaths we reach the side of the pool and observe the fallen. We get out of out comfort station and built a dam wall to save them slipping into a place they might not return or sit on a log listening or lifting them.. the crowd still mingle and we direct them that way ... they turn and we are gone... submerged. Being an empath is a unbelievable feeling of emotion that take us where few can go, an emotion level that is amazingly sad, amazingly so unbelievable its hard to describe but one thing is certain for many of us... we wouldnt have it any other way. In the words of Stephen Fry "if I was reincarnated I would want my bipolar, I wouldnt know how to live any other way.... TonyWK

Guest_22043504 Worry and anxious
  • replies: 2

Love to know others tips on this. Most times before one of our adult children..still at home will have an important event or go away on a holiday, I stress that there general health will be well eg: no cold/flu etc...so they can enjoy their trip or s... View more

Love to know others tips on this. Most times before one of our adult children..still at home will have an important event or go away on a holiday, I stress that there general health will be well eg: no cold/flu etc...so they can enjoy their trip or special event. I know my mum always said to me 'stay well...if you are not well you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much'. Any help would be great for this mum to break this awful cycle. x