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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Guest_35680393 Pmdd, housing crisis and life stages
  • replies: 2

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and na... View more

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and navigate situations. In the last three years, I have had a terrible break up that spun me out into years of rumination and reignited self hate and the feeling of being unlovable, I have had to move away from my chosen town and community back into my parents house as a result of the housing crisis, I have been diagnosed with a heart issue, Pmdd and cptsd, I have not been mentally well so have cut a lot of people out of my life, my dog died and I feel completely stuck in my life. I am so grateful and understand my privilege to be able to live with my parents but I have been really triggered and my mental health has gone down the drain. I’ve seen a psychologist for about a year but they really didn’t make a dent. I have applied to numerous rentals and have not got any. I moved into a sharehouse earlier this year but that was a disaster (it flooded).I have tried new hobbies, gone of friendship apps, tried asking friends of friends to meet up in order to make new connections and have had absolutely no new luck. My old friends from my home town have all moved away. it feels like the last three years I have tried and tried to live my own life and have been slapped in the face at every turn. I can’t get my own place, my own space and it’s stolen my independence from me. I feel so guilty for cutting off friends. I have treated my family so badly at times. I am embarrassed to be me. I just turned 30 and have nothing to show for it. I don’t know what to do.

white knight Wit - the only answer for torment?
  • replies: 8

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit... View more

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit. Countless times when I've been abused or slandered I've swallowed it and fumed for a long time. This has resulted in the "steamer effect", my term to describe the pressure cooker within.I havent had the wit to quickly react ideally in a cordial, calm and measured manner to my opponent. "Opponent". Yes we are talking duels here, a fact of life of fighting with other people, an act many find a part of normal life. Once, only once, I predicted a person, in this case my ex defacto partner, that she would approach me on a topic. If so I had an answer for her- I'd had a hobby of building model aircraft for 7 years. She didnt like me spending time at the field. She one day sta down and lit up a *** and said "how much do you think you have spent on your hobby in the last 7 years". I replied "$11,000". To which she replied "are you proud of that"? I replied "far better than the $35,000 you have spent on chain smoking cigarettes". The topic was abandoned. And the topic never resurfaced. I call that premeditated WIT. But premeditated wit does not exist IMO. It was planned to equalise an onslaught of criticism that I believed was not necessary. So, I've seen people in my many workplaces use wit as quick as lightning. A response that leaves the aggressor in their wake or commences a debate. But I dont have that automatic response mechanism in my brain. What is the result of that absence? Torment!! And the long term effect- hibernation. In my case, as stated many times now- hibernation means not locking myself away but some withdrawal from society. Fewer of all people in the end. Fewer meetings with people, fewer clubs to join, fewer facebook friends etc. Effectively, rather than growing wit, I've compensated with less people of whom could hurt me with contact in the first place. The result is less torment. And a happier life. Do any of you have ideas on finding wit? For me I'd need to be on my toes constantly, viewing everyone as a potential enemy. I just want to respond to those abusers out there in an automatic way, to guard myself against humans that feed from nastiness.....

white knight NIP IT IN THE BUD...ideas
  • replies: 5

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed... View more

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed and I sat and waited. Then when the second guy was "assembling" my kebab I saw some carrot and asked him if he could put some on. I had assumed that as I knocked back onion then added carrot- no big deal. The man said in a loud voice, " I will but you should have told my friend you wanted carrot when you ordered". I said "ok mate". He then repeated himself almost word for word. I repeated "ok mate". He voice even louder he repeated himself a third time. I took $3 out of my pocket and placed it on the counter right in front of him. He asked "what's this for"? I said "a bunch of the highest quality carrots". In the next 2 minutes while he finished packaging the kebab he tried to smooth things over But I was fine, I had stopped the lecture, stopped the feeling of being trapped that was dictated by him and my anxiety. It drenched the conversation and took away his power and thrills. Previously I'd never have thought of easy ways to deal with such situations. I would have allowed this egotist to squash me then spent the day hurt and angry. His display was far over the top for the situation. I've found that to reduce anxiety I need closure to a situation. And as quickly as I can. But in a measured way and not in a confrontational way otherwise the guilt will remain and upset the result. I've often wondered why I love to brainstorm others. It's partly because I lack a little confidence but it is also because it makes sense to get many others opinions so you can makes choices based on many ideas and input through others eyes. If you are over confident and well...lets say arrogant, you might trip over your yourself due to not consulting others. Unless you are well qualified in a field, like a profession, then you can do so. Do you have any other ideas, easy ideas by which you can share here that would help to deal with situations that most likely would lead to anxiety, guilt, shame or depression?

white knight Depression-distraction and variety
  • replies: 2

Medication is crutial as part of staying well if you suffer from depression. But we know we still have our depressed periods. Psychiatry is advisable but what about the periods in between appointments? We need road detours on depression street. Like ... View more

Medication is crutial as part of staying well if you suffer from depression. But we know we still have our depressed periods. Psychiatry is advisable but what about the periods in between appointments? We need road detours on depression street. Like one of those ramps they have when descending steep mountains where trucks can shunt. Distraction is such a tool to use. Why? You find it hard to get out of bed. But we know you have to visit the bathroom and kitchen at times. Then drag yourself to walk 50 metres down the road. In that time you are using your senses...you smell flowers or even pollution, you hear noises, you feel the wind upon your skin and you focus on the environment. ..all things you wouldnt be doing while in bed. Distraction is an incredibly powerful tool. Many of us have moods due to our illness. Bipolar moods are part of the package but coping with stress causes moods. This easily elevates to snapping at our partners. Many recommend time out. Time out includes distraction if you take that time out AWAY from the conflict zone. Google Topic: relationship strife? The peace pipe- beyondblue Years ago I used to restore vintage cars. I gave that up and flew model planes. Yes they were a good distraction but as they were my only interest/hobby they didnt stop me dwelling on my problems. In recent years my hobbies have included tinkering in my shed, gardening, cooking, designing, building our caravan, bb champion activity and outdoors like collecting firewood or garden stones. I want to add gold detecting and photography As I've got older physical activity like gardening has to have a 1-2 hour limit so by default I've switched interests several times a day which results in more efficient distraction. It seems I stumbled onto a happier way to avoid depression. A relative of mine lives in the city. Upon talking to her about her depression she now has a large jigsaw in a spare room, plays tennis, organises tennis events, plays scrabble nightly with hubby, cooks cheap meals to save money (pensioner) and maintains a vegetable garden. She was reluctant to garden as she rents but we went to a large hardware and purchased those iron garden beds you can empty when moving house. Having a variety of interests spreads you mentally and physically. Distraction is an effective way of switching your attention more than is obvious. Both ideas you'll find effective as your senses are activated to changes in environment. Can you use distraction? Tony WK

Cammo94 Shift worker
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm a shift worker.My work is a correctional officer, so my day is feeled with negativity between inmates and officers.I have worked there 6 years and have no friends at work and I have no friends outside of work. My days off are during the week ... View more

Hi, I'm a shift worker.My work is a correctional officer, so my day is feeled with negativity between inmates and officers.I have worked there 6 years and have no friends at work and I have no friends outside of work. My days off are during the week and I just spend them alone not talking to anyone. I don't have hobbies and even if I try new thing to do I do them alone. I like hiking but again no one to enjoy this with so I go alone and camping alone. I try hard not to let the negativity to creep up I even use positive quote stress balls to keep the positive in and negative out. I've kept the anxiety and depression out but I don't know what to do about the social side. I've tried anti depressant but they just made me feel like a space cadet and put weight on alot.

Scared Burning out already
  • replies: 10

I just reply to a post and now I feeling drained by it.I can really feel the dilema they are in and somehow the hard work they have ahead I felt as tho I was going thru it as well.This cant be goodHas anyone else after replying felt the same by engag... View more

I just reply to a post and now I feeling drained by it.I can really feel the dilema they are in and somehow the hard work they have ahead I felt as tho I was going thru it as well.This cant be goodHas anyone else after replying felt the same by engaging in these forums or am I just not the right person to be replying to these thingsI not reply to any new ones again today

rh456 Ongoing self esteem and feeling fragile again
  • replies: 2

Hi all from Adelaide! Just wanted to post on how I have been feeling lately. I was let go from a job a short time ago which made me feel deflated and low mood. I have been applying for jobs obviously but sadly nothing has matched. I have had a couple... View more

Hi all from Adelaide! Just wanted to post on how I have been feeling lately. I was let go from a job a short time ago which made me feel deflated and low mood. I have been applying for jobs obviously but sadly nothing has matched. I have had a couple of interviews which sounded and started off promising, but unfortunately nothing has come of either. The wait to hear back from these interviews was excruciating and the longer it went on the worse I felt inside. Some of those interviews I actually had to follow up myself after not hearing back! Anyways, I had a similar situation just yesterday. I had gone for an interview at a local company which was a completely different type of company that I am used to = however I was excited about change - I have been in medical administration for 30 years and thought something different sounded exciting. However I eventually got a call back yesterday. The lady was very nice and friendly enough, however in the end the answer was "NO" because I was not flexible enough and the work likely wasn't ongoing. From that phone call on until now I have been quite "fragile" and very teary = enough that if someone had genuinely asked how i was, i probably would have "folded into a heap" feeling broken. I am in the process of finding a counsellor locally (I may have to try more than 1) so I can get help/strategies on how to deal when things like this happen. I lack a little self confidence, but what is hurting the most right now is the feeling of low self esteem particularly when looking for work. I know that people say that something will come along and all that, but is getting harder and harder to deal with not only rejection for jobs, but feeling fragile. All I ask is for people/friends and family to ask genuinely "are you okay" and then to believe in me when I reply. I am not after a miracle, but some guidance. I understand that feeling low is part of life at times and I am lucky in some senses that I have some work, not desperate for money and have no feelings of self harm. When I am feeling down i generally find solace in listening to music and watching something I enjoy, or something funny. Cheers everyone and thanks for reading my ramble. It feels better getting it all out. Suggestions for staying in a positive outlook, what to do when feeling low is appreciated below...

French Circular Trend
  • replies: 4

Hii have a moderately crap (diagnosed) mental illness. my goals in life are relatively small. but. i just cant seem to reach them.everyone around me lives lifes that are either full and happy, or. are extremely productive ones..........i have neither... View more

Hii have a moderately crap (diagnosed) mental illness. my goals in life are relatively small. but. i just cant seem to reach them.everyone around me lives lifes that are either full and happy, or. are extremely productive ones..........i have neither.i have been fired from employment multiple times for not being able to cope with difficult situations.these situations others might find easily navigable. i get aggressive and hostile when cornered, have trouble understanding the intentions of others, i dont seem to be able to manage the outcomes of these conflicts, get paranoid when around others for almost any length of time and i have massive fluctuations in mood. temperament and motivation i do pride myself on TRYING to be a good, kind and patient person, and people do notice that! (when i'm fit and healthy), but, after awhile people generally are repelled by what they see and my distant demeanor. iv been fired 3 x times in 3 years. yet, i claim to be a good personiv been single for a long time. yet, i repel the advances of the ladiesand i haven't a friend in the world. yet, cant stand the thought of having someone even casually being around mei love my family. yet, refuse to see or talk to them unless i have to. i hate it! but, i can't possibly see life any other wayit seems to be a circular trend, great for 3 months, catastrophic for another 3. then, rinse and repeat thanks for the rant French

Kerri Living with an angry alcholic
  • replies: 2

Hello allI appreciate reading other stories and feel like I am not alone.I just can’t live with my partners anger and irritability and know it has something to do with her drinking a bottle of red wine every nightshe sleeps in every day and is always... View more

Hello allI appreciate reading other stories and feel like I am not alone.I just can’t live with my partners anger and irritability and know it has something to do with her drinking a bottle of red wine every nightshe sleeps in every day and is always tired. She often retreats to her room during the day to lie down.i can’t talk about it as it just makes her hide further - I find bottles in her room and empties in the bin. I have left the room and sleep in my own room, about 5 years ago now, as I couldn’t sleep with the tension next to me and being shouted at before bed was not pleasant. I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing.Now we have a boy, 14, who is avoiding school and not leaving the house! So the stress is bigger.i can’t leave as we have two teenage boys -17 and 14 - and I live to keep supporting them each dayShe Doesn’t wake in time to have breakfast with us and leaves the dishes and the chores to me in the mornings.she doesn’t want to walk with me, she won’t do anything if I have suggested it, she won’t do housework and I am so tired of living in this mess!maybe I just have to ask her to leave! Easier said than done:) it’s her house too. They are her kids too. im sure she has anxiety and depression - she has been drinking like this for over 10years - I’m sure her work is stressful and she did her phd amongst this too - but once that was finished 3 years ago - the stress did not leave. I like bushwalking and camping - so does she and she wants to come - but she is no longer fit and strong. She does no physical exercise now. She doesn’t want to walk with me- she just doesn’t want to miss out on walking with the boys.lucky for me I walk daily with my dogs, I got to the gym with my 17 year old and we play volleyball, I go to yoga, I haven’t drunk alcohol for 18 years now. Or more. And I like to look after my sleep time as best I can. This is all very helpful for me. how can I best help her - and help myself and the boys?! it is really hard work. thankskerri