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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 711

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Clues_Of_Blue Minimalism and creating a peaceful space
  • replies: 107

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch ... View more

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn. When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely. I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

Loligiggles Tips to do more days at work?
  • replies: 5

Hi! I got a job with flexible hours but I'm struggling to maintain even 1 day a week, I would like to work a full work week (4-5 days) so does anyone have any tips? Getting lunch at a nearby cafe and taking painkillers aren't making it anymore manage... View more

Hi! I got a job with flexible hours but I'm struggling to maintain even 1 day a week, I would like to work a full work week (4-5 days) so does anyone have any tips? Getting lunch at a nearby cafe and taking painkillers aren't making it anymore manageable.

Suzie_Q How to cope
  • replies: 4

I work in a nursing home and there’s obviously traumatising things that happen. Earlier in the year we had a Covid outbreak and unfortunately lost a fair few residents which broke me. We’ve just had Covid cases again in our facility and I feel like m... View more

I work in a nursing home and there’s obviously traumatising things that happen. Earlier in the year we had a Covid outbreak and unfortunately lost a fair few residents which broke me. We’ve just had Covid cases again in our facility and I feel like my mind is going into a breakdown about it, the fear of losing people I care about scares me so much. I know it’s life and I know it’s why they are in homes, to go eventually anyway. I get so emotionally attached to these people, like I would give them my world. How do I learn to cope with this? I don’t normally talk about things, I hold it all in and I feel like I’ve been breaking down a lot more in the last year because of it. I just need some ways to cope with it.thanks for listening, I feel safe here and not judged.

white knight Family blues? The secret of a Merry Christmas
  • replies: 6

Countless people this time of year face family conflict. Anxiety even from wars far away or human or financial hardship or animal misery can all take their toll. We need a "back to basics" mentality. Xmas for those with mental health issues or relati... View more

Countless people this time of year face family conflict. Anxiety even from wars far away or human or financial hardship or animal misery can all take their toll. We need a "back to basics" mentality. Xmas for those with mental health issues or relationship challenges can be saved with an internal focus on- your own needs dragging out goodwill to others perhaps less fortunate. Serving soup to the homeless?the years reflection and the next year plans. A positive outlook.valuing the minimal contact with others (yes, sharing xmas cake and a brew with just one person). Tokenism can "represent" a successful xmas.So the spirit of xmas can be rewarding regardless of family squabbles. This year 2022 I'm experiencing my own family split. While sad that these irreconcilable differences have happened in the last 2 weeks I will not allow such sad circumstances to cloud the message of the event. I'm an atheist, but that has zero bearing on my belief that xmas often does have family issues, hardship and hurt, so expecting it helps accept it. By far the greatest attitude we can adopt is not positivity (although it helps) and is not selfishness (although we at times need to be) but it's "empathy" and "giving"- to acknowledge there is worse off, to create actions of wiping the tears of a poor person with a xmas dinner, to love a family of birds with seed or mow an elderly persons lawn. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/humility-and-quot-the-good-samaritan-quot/td-p/307504 Our purpose on this planet is not to enter into self harm, suicidal thoughts etc and to carry the burden of trauma. Our purpose is to survive and channel our efforts into lifting others up from their feelings of hopelessness. For like many I've been at ground level and here I am reaching out to you, I'm holding your hands right now, I'm hugging you, yes, I'm wiping your tears... and lifting. Life can be so good, I want you to come with me to be where I am. Financial cost zero, love and empathy cost- all you can muster. If you develop this theme of thinking along with letting family conflict come and go then you will be happier and more fulfilled.That's the secret of a merry Christmas...TonyWK

white knight The frog and the scorpion. Our nature
  • replies: 38

Briefly the story goes like this- A scorpion eager to get to the other side of the river asked a frog to transport him there in his back. The frog refused telling the scorpion that he'd sting him once he got there and he'd die. The scorpion insisted ... View more

Briefly the story goes like this- A scorpion eager to get to the other side of the river asked a frog to transport him there in his back. The frog refused telling the scorpion that he'd sting him once he got there and he'd die. The scorpion insisted he wouldn't kill him so the frog took him to the other side. Almost at the bank the scorpion sung the frog and before dying the frog asked the scorpion why he did that as he pledge he wouldn't....the scorpion replied "because its in my nature".. And so we come to the theme here. The inherent qualities both good and bad inside us that cannot be changed. The foundation of our character will not budge. All the other parts that are plasticine can be moulded to improve on our faults. But we really are a ship on a course with our nature. That leads me to ask the question- if there is a characteristic you don't like (often highlighted by another person) that is in ground in your personality, what can you do about it? E.g. I have a slight anger problem. I usually brush it off with "stress" but in reality I have to own it. Even though it's my nature, with anger there is a victim, be it a slight raising of your voice (my case), or worse. The fact remains, change is near impossible. The "slight raising of my voice" is the result of a build up of disappointment that one tries to suppress, then balm! It all overflows. I've come to the realisation that with the ever predicted outburst if I can move on quickly then life's good. However if that event repeats itself too often the victim can tire of it. To judge if your trait is inherited just look at members of your blood family. Do they get angry? Are they selfish? To summarize- we are talking about personality flaws we don't choose, they are part of your inherited make up. Do you have any and how do you control them? Tony

white knight Fortress of survival part 3
  • replies: 10

Some of us endure family division. It could be said that some also, due to living with extreme thinking and behaviour, are more likely to disown family and friends than those without a mental illness. This post is not to delve into the justification ... View more

Some of us endure family division. It could be said that some also, due to living with extreme thinking and behaviour, are more likely to disown family and friends than those without a mental illness. This post is not to delve into the justification of same but to cover the survival aspect of our decision making or if disowning was the decision of other upon you. When a young adult I saw the possible division of family as really traumatic. How could I survive without my niece that joined a religious cult? or my mother due to her narcissism?, or my school friend that judged my depression as an act of God? As I aged I slowly realised that family isnt who you share blood, otherwise we'd be stuck with them forever regardless of toxicity. Family is whom you choose and that has one big advantage- compatibility. Christmas seem to highlight these issues. What I find amusing (sorry) is how xmas after xmas some people endure the same arguments with the same relatives ...all because they are "family" and for the whole year in between they fume/dwell over the same negativity and plan what they'll say next xmas in combat. Why? Well some of us move on from all of that and find loving people to enjoy our time. This is one wall of the fortress of survival because we will find our company is more enjoyable by keeping out the tension and keeping in the loving caring ones. That balance is important for harmony and that is important for our mental health. Full rejection of family and friends that dont comply with this harmony isnt the only answer. If you can you should try to maintain a half way friendship- see them as acquaintances which could mean a "hello/ goodbye have a happy new year". Some of these people might be thinking the same and is quite content to keep it at that especially if the end result is enough to please the older members of a family longing for the whole family to be united. But remember, while you can attempt this if it doesnt work and there is conflict then it isnt your fault to remain absent from such gatherings. It is a right. Fortress of survival the original thread dealt with how, due to upbringing, we dont develop a screening of people and therefore allow anyone to enter our lives only to get hurt. Fortress of survival part 2 dealt with implementing filters to allow some to enter the gates of your life. Here in part 3 I'm suggesting to edge out family and friends that are not compatible and not endure their wrath at gatherings. TonyWK

Guest_1055 🌱 Diary- 5 Things You Noticed in Nature Today
  • replies: 314

Can you think of 5 things you noticed or observed in nature today, using all your senses? I was wondering if this would be a beneficial exercise to help us focus on something else instead of painful emotions, troubled thoughts, over thinking, anxiety... View more

Can you think of 5 things you noticed or observed in nature today, using all your senses? I was wondering if this would be a beneficial exercise to help us focus on something else instead of painful emotions, troubled thoughts, over thinking, anxiety feelings and the darkness of that alone place. As well as to see that there really is beauty all around us....

a13xx Trouble eating - trigger warning?
  • replies: 1

Hi, i’m not sure if i’m allowed to talk about this on here but I was wondering if anyone had any advice. I’ve always loved food, im a cook and i love working in the kitchen but I was hospitalised in a refeeding program a while back which I recovered ... View more

Hi, i’m not sure if i’m allowed to talk about this on here but I was wondering if anyone had any advice. I’ve always loved food, im a cook and i love working in the kitchen but I was hospitalised in a refeeding program a while back which I recovered pretty quickly after that. Only recently i’ve found that I can’t eat and I just never get hungry anymore…it’s nothing as emotionally intense as what put me in the hospital previously, I just simply don’t think about food anymore and I feel physically sick when I eat.I want to love food again and not feel constantly lightheaded and tired..anyone else experience this and know how to get out of it?Thanks

Shaun88 Any Experience living in your car f/t? What was/is it like?
  • replies: 7

Hey guys, i'm shaun i'm 31, and i was wondering if you or any one you know of that may have experiences relating to living in you vehicle that you can share. Much appreciated, Thankyou! **bit of a brief motive** i am weighing this as an option for my... View more

Hey guys, i'm shaun i'm 31, and i was wondering if you or any one you know of that may have experiences relating to living in you vehicle that you can share. Much appreciated, Thankyou! **bit of a brief motive** i am weighing this as an option for my self. Anywhere NSW coastal, where there is appropriate non offensive parking and facilities for hygiene of self and items. My goal is to purely to get away and work on my self by potentially studying at a tafe/ and or find something within my ability workwise and just stand on my own two feet. May last year, i ef'd all my fingers in a machine, as a bonus somehow can't contract one of my wrist muscle either. I've surrendered my insurance and surgeries, because of how toxic i view my relationships are. They always have been but amazingly the difference between being able to work(predominanly removalst), train at a park/gym, and my small hobbies was the difference between being able to get by 80% of the time. Yeh, so as long as it takes, i'm happy to live in my car if it works, work on myself, save for as many years for surg (2nd toe transplant if its an option) etc. Appreciate your time for reading ^_^ from Shaun.

Samadhi-Enjoyer I want to become a Freemason - Any thoughts/experiences?
  • replies: 1

I've made a lot of progress on my journey and after a lot of reflection and meditation, I've concluded one thing about my heart's calling; I want to be an awesome dad for my future kids. I feel like this is easily my highest aspiration and what I int... View more

I've made a lot of progress on my journey and after a lot of reflection and meditation, I've concluded one thing about my heart's calling; I want to be an awesome dad for my future kids. I feel like this is easily my highest aspiration and what I intend to devote the rest of my life to; to become the best role model and mentor of my own blood. In saying that, I want to progressively live more of a life that my kids can look up to and be inspired by, which requires I look up to and am inspired by myself. So I think one of the best ways is to become a Freemason. I've been looking into Freemasonry for a while now and the core tenets and I find I'm progressively getting more and more keen to become one. The focus on self development, being a better man, father, son, husband, etc. is what really appeals to me. Plus I find the ancient traditions and rites to fit my personality and outlook on living. As well as that feeling of connection with likeminded and altruistic men. I truly feel like this is my heart's calling. Even if I never join the Masons, I would gladly settle for the Lions or the Rotarians. I feel like anyway I can be a part of something like that will fulfill a core need in my being. Has anyone on this forum been a Mason or had experience with them? I would love to hear some inspiration!