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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Casscade Sobriety day 1
  • replies: 5

Hiya just letting you know that I am on day 1. Any encouragement from you guys will be great

Hiya just letting you know that I am on day 1. Any encouragement from you guys will be great

Guest_50030126 I can't cope being alone - I use drink to cope with how I feel
  • replies: 2

Hey, This is my first time posting and I'm hoping this is the right place to say this. I am 33, work long hours in advertising. Have wonderful friends, my family is in another country but I am loved.I just can't seem to feel the same way about myself... View more

Hey, This is my first time posting and I'm hoping this is the right place to say this. I am 33, work long hours in advertising. Have wonderful friends, my family is in another country but I am loved.I just can't seem to feel the same way about myself and I really don't understand how to do it. I hate being on my own, nothing really brings me joy. I distract myself with work, or alcohol in the evenings. I've tried everything - writing, cooking, excercise classes, painting, reading, therapy, medication etc. tried watch tv etc but nothing calms my mind in the evenings when I'm alone - so I turn to drink.I am told that I need to love myself and should enjoy being on my own but I don't and I feel like it's getting worse and worse recently. I can't let go of my ex either and I know I put too much emphasis on how he feels about me. If he loves me and is happy with me, that gives me all my validation. Having his attention is an addiction in itself.I just am really lost, feeling so lonely and sad but have no motivation to talk to my friends, or ask them to come and see me. I have so many messages to reply to and it's too overwhelming so i'm hoping this forum might help.I want to know to love myself, be happy, and when it gets to the evenings not just drink myself to sleep or to quiet my mind. I joined this today, and downloaded Daybreak. But I'm worried about this evening and how to get through today where I don't have work or not drink.

Despaired87 Paranoid I'm being framed
  • replies: 1

I moved cities 2yrs ago to be close with my family and have a fresh start after struggling alone for 18yrs.After a few weeks of being here, I began to feel as if I was being followed by police or someone.I was living with a friend and his parents for... View more

I moved cities 2yrs ago to be close with my family and have a fresh start after struggling alone for 18yrs.After a few weeks of being here, I began to feel as if I was being followed by police or someone.I was living with a friend and his parents for a while prior to moving, this was an on and off circumstance due to struggling to find a place to rent. I had a feeling in my stomach that they were up to something sinister and that they were drugging me. They used to belittle me and made me feel I couldn't cope on my own and that I needed them in order to survive. They would steal money from me, make me work on their property, belittle me and overall made me feel inadequate at life. They would interfere with my girlfriend and relationships and I began to feel isolated and helpless. My friends dad said a few times that he had the feeling like hurting and killing. His mum was a hypochondriac and would tell me every year that this was likely going to be her last year alive (for 15yrs). She knew whether I had been masterbating or not. Identified some features of my body that I never exposed to her and tried to control me. My friend has schizophrenia and his mum would constantly give him weed and kept him in a psychosis for several years. I wanted to help him desperately but couldn't. I had to develop a plan to leave when they went out of the house and waited for my opportunity to pack up and go. The day I had the opportunity to leave, I loaded up my little hatchback with whatever would fit inside plus my dog and drove 10hours into the night to seek refuge from them and be close to my family.After a few weeks I began to feel as if I was being followed by what I suspected is the police. I feared that my friends parents had done something awful and I was being framed for it. I thought that they were mixed up in dealing hard drugs and that I was going to be the fall guy, or that they were going to kill an ex girlfriend or someone I knew. They knew everything about me - I have a tendency to overshare and had a difficult upbringing so presumed I'd be a suitable fall guy.I went to hospital due to an apparent psychosis not long after moving close to my family. When I came out I felt okay - however 6 months later began to feel the same thoughts of paranoia. Went to hospital again to get help - taking anti psychotics and it went away. Then around the same time this year the same thing happened. Now I don't know if I'm losing my mind or if this is real. Help

AzureHorizon Feeling Trapped: Depression, Anxiety, and Finding My Way (Cross-dressing, Uncommunicative Marriage)
  • replies: 2

## Reaching Out - Struggling with Depression and Anxiety Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and wanted to reach out because I'm at a bit of a loss. I've been living with depression for a while now and take medication to manage it. Lately, though, wit... View more

## Reaching Out - Struggling with Depression and Anxiety Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and wanted to reach out because I'm at a bit of a loss. I've been living with depression for a while now and take medication to manage it. Lately, though, with the pressure at work, it feels like I'm barely staying afloat. The depression and anxiety team up to really mess with my mood and sometimes even my work performance. It's like being trapped, and it's hard to see a way out sometimes. I'm married, and my wife knows about my depression. The thing is, I don't think she quite knows how to help. Maybe it feels overwhelming for her. To cope, I've turned to some things that aren't necessarily healthy – like looking at pornography and occasionally cross-dressing. Cross-dressing, in particular, can help lower my stress, but it's not something anyone in my life supports, especially my wife. We've had arguments about it before, and while I stopped for a while, the urge keeps coming back. The problem is, I can't really talk to her about it openly. It just opens old wounds and makes things worse. Lately, I've noticed her spending more time focusing on her faith – she's Catholic, and I'm not. I've been in Australia for 25 years now, having migrated from India. I don't have any family here, which adds another layer of isolation. Honestly, I'm just looking for some answers. Has anyone out there dealt with something similar? Any advice on managing depression and anxiety, especially when work adds to the pressure? Thanks for listening, and I hope to hear from some of you.

Lauryn21 How do I return to work after breaking down crying.
  • replies: 3

I’m just started a new job in the past 3 weeks and it’s a big jump in workload and starting a new job is very overwhelming. also in my personal life a lot has happened, I’ve lost a family member, moved, studying and have a lot of big assignments due.... View more

I’m just started a new job in the past 3 weeks and it’s a big jump in workload and starting a new job is very overwhelming. also in my personal life a lot has happened, I’ve lost a family member, moved, studying and have a lot of big assignments due. I don’t think I’m coping. With everything happening I have broken down twice now at my new job an hour in and had to leave as I get very flustered and embarrassed. Im also getting micromanaged by a person I work with and I’ve never been good at trying not to take things personally and feel like I’m really inferior in this new job. Any advice would be helpful as i now feel like I just want to give up and I’m so scared to go back into work to face the judgement after crying and panicking in a ball of anxiety.

Soberlicious96 Restless, Irritable and Discontent
  • replies: 4

Sometimes I get restless irritable and discontent, even though my life is going great. I have so much to be grateful for, I really do. But it's like I get this 'itch' for more. Like I want to do something more, and I want it now, but I don't know wha... View more

Sometimes I get restless irritable and discontent, even though my life is going great. I have so much to be grateful for, I really do. But it's like I get this 'itch' for more. Like I want to do something more, and I want it now, but I don't know what it is. I start looking at online courses, or starting a new hobby or something ...... but it's always something I can get quickly ...... like I used to get that quick fix from a drink or a drug. I haven't HAD ANY (alcoholic) drink or (illicit) drugs for a long time now, nor do I desire that. But I feel like my disease .... or, as I've heard others pronounce it as dis-ease - as in, away from ease - is trying to sabotage me and get me back into the gutter, one restless, irritable and discontent thought at a time. I've also heard people call it alcoholISM, not alcoholWASM. As in, I may be recovered, but I'm not cured. I fully believe that that is the eternal condition of the disease and that the 'R.I.D. feeling may never bee totally gone. And it's times like this that I fully get that ISM bit ..... because even though I don't want to drink or drug, I want to eat. Just something, anything, but I can't decide what it is, because I'm not actually hungry, I'm 'bored' ...... I've got the RID's and want to rid myself of that feeling. I'm probably not alone in having these feelings either ...... I just identify it, for me, as being the core of my dis-ease, drinking or not. If that makes sense anyway. Distraction helps though; I cleaned my teeth. Why is that important you ask? Because it helps to deter me from wanting to dirty up my teeth with food! And I write. .... or, in this case, type. ...... I've also brought some little things on eBay which I've wanted for a while, looked at buying lego, looked at short courses in Mental Health First Aid (which was a module in a Diploma I did years ago and really enjoyed it, although also found quite challenging). Oh, and watched MAFS!!! Wow, has THAT got some interesting stuff going on! I suppose at least I'm aware of what is going on, and I know what to do about it. I only know two ways of living; the way I used to live before recovery (drunk, alone, angry, scared and confused) or sober, reliable, mindful, useful and grateful. I know which way I prefer and will go to ANY reasonable lengths to maintain and grow in that way; sober and with my dignity intact. Anyway, thanks for reading. I feel better now. xo

HamSolo01 Hello again, or "Sharing what has happened in the hope that it inspires you somehow"
  • replies: 2

Good morning.It has been quite some time indeed since I posted here at length and my intention today in doing so to both educate myself, provide some insight for others and ultimately move towards betterment (even though that is itself a process and ... View more

Good morning.It has been quite some time indeed since I posted here at length and my intention today in doing so to both educate myself, provide some insight for others and ultimately move towards betterment (even though that is itself a process and not a destination)As I write this note now, I sit in the cramped but altogether snug corner of the granny flat I now share with my partner of 21 months (as of last Tuesday). She is currently at work on her shift, while the Roster gods at my work have given me 4 days off between weekend shifts. The two of us have seen our fair share of suffering, hardhsip and personal struggle - both during and before we met. But it is ultimately this struggle that reminds us all that life is not always easy. To quote Coldplay "but no one ever said it would be this hard", and I believe that's true. But as i struggle forward in life, I believe that Michael Kiwanuka is right when he said "maybe this time i can be strong, but since I know who I am I'm probably wrong". I believe musicians and music itself both have ways of speaking to us in short, stacato stanzas that academese and general waffle (my favourite member of the army corp after Leiutenant Sarcasm) can't. the overal sentiment here is one of struggle, but one of success. For I would rather not live in a utopia or blissful ignorance of my own mortality. Mortality is itself a curious thing because it was once the very thing I focused heavily on and at one point wanted to call an end this life of mine. Oh how much has changed since then! I invite you, the reader, to have a look at some of my other posts over the years. To see how I have changed, grown and struggled and yet have come through, out on top of and from underneath whatever things found themselves in my life - rancid though they were. Ultimately, I believe, like Solzhenitsyn once did, that beauty will save the world. I now invite you, the reader, on this journey of mine. Perhaps it is the fact that I have turned 30 and have hit a new decade that has got me going back over my 20s and indeed many times prior, that has spurned me on towards better things. Recently I came across an old letter I wrote when I was 16. It was an exercise entitled "the man I wish to become". I only remembered this recently and by some strange chance of fate, looked in a box I knew I had in my old bedroom and there it was - sitting there in the open ready for me to read. Meditating on that was deep. Oh so very deep. An anchor for my soul even. Am I that man now? Well, no, but I'm definitely closer than I was before. Maybe that is all that matters. For the life of me I wish I was able to articulate EVERYTHING that has happened in the years since I started posting here - but, to quote Roy Batty "those moments will be lost like tears in the rain". I had many tears in the rain as I grew into who I am now, and many more will come my way no doubt. Oh but I would rather shed that tear and embrace a fear, than its opposite. Before this descends into yet another level of literacy prose, I'll leave it there. YoursMe

Guest_1055 Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise
  • replies: 4382

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can ... View more

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life. OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time. So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really...... I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

diamondgirl85 How to take care of myself?
  • replies: 1

I'm 38 and the title sounds so lame. But I feel like I don't know how to take care of myself. I make sure our kids (twins and a singleton) are fed, dressed and off to school or daycare, and when I get home all I want to do is sleep. I am constantly e... View more

I'm 38 and the title sounds so lame. But I feel like I don't know how to take care of myself. I make sure our kids (twins and a singleton) are fed, dressed and off to school or daycare, and when I get home all I want to do is sleep. I am constantly exhausted. Tired all the time. I've never had an iron issue, like ever. My house is a mess (I know people will say the housework can wait, but I honestly HATE living in a messy home - it makes me feel so much worse). I've been hitting the junk food and soft drink so hard in recent months. My MIL also passed recently and now I'm having major anxiety about studying and going back to work after being a stay at home mum for the last 8 years. I'm so used to being at home. I've gained 15-20kgs since our youngest was born 19 months ago. I'm just so lost and deflated and I hate that my kids see me like this every day. For context we live an hour outside Toowoomba so a gym membership isn't feasible with the whole cost of living crisis. I have next to no Mum friends as some have either moved away or others have gone back to work and I don't even see them on the school run anymore. My husband works for himself and he's very supportive but even he doesn't understand how my head works sometimes.

Clara1 Self-care
  • replies: 4

I am trying to stay well at the moment by eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise. I drink plenty of filtered water and herbal tea each day. I feel very tired most of the time event hough I am sleeping 8-10 hours each night.

I am trying to stay well at the moment by eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise. I drink plenty of filtered water and herbal tea each day. I feel very tired most of the time event hough I am sleeping 8-10 hours each night.