Staying well

The true meaning of Self-Love

replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words wit... View more

Hi Everyone, I had a moment of clarity a couple of weeks ago when I asked myself what I would say to my young self if I had the opportunity. The years, experiences and challenges have brought greater wisdom and I feel an urge to share these words with those who need to hear them. “Love of Self is usually seen as being conceited, being immodest, being self-absorbed, but true Love of Self is none of those things. They are merely the opinions of those who do not yet know how to love themselves. Love of Self is appreciating what you perceive as your ‘good’ qualities and learning to accept and embrace what you perceive as your ‘not so good’ qualities. We all have them, it is part of being human because human beings are not ‘perfect’ and are not meant to be. We are here on a journey of learning from our experiences, both positive and negative, to become a being with greater wisdom than when we began the journey. You are as unique as your own fingerprint, there is not another person on the planet who is exactly like you. Therefore, it is pointless comparing yourself with others, you can no more be like them, than they can be like you. You are here to share your uniqueness with the world from a place of authenticity. You are here to fill a space that no-one else can fill. You are here to do what your heart calls you to do. To put it all in a nutshell, be as kind, caring and compassionate to yourself as you are to others. Live your life as you choose to live it, regardless of the opinions of others. Love does not come from outside of you, it comes from within of you. When you have truly learned to love yourself, you will no longer look for love and validation externally because you have everything you need inside of you. At that point, you will attract people into your life who have also learned how to love themselves, people who will love you for who you are and not try to change you in any way. That sense of peace is a goal well worth striving for.” I only wish that someone had said these words to me when I was young, I might not have wandered through life feeling so lost, but it’s never too late to begin.indigo

why does this feeling never go away?

replies: 1

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so... View more

ive always been different and felt different. at the end of each day, lying in bed, i think about who i am, how i feel, and how it seems that no one in my life feels the things that i feel, and then i cry. i have done this since i was little. i am so sad all the time. everything i feel hurts. i’ve never posted on any kind of forum before or asked for help or advice in this way - i just don’t know what to do anymore. i’ve cried consistently every day for the last 5 years. my heartache never ceases. sometimes i have good days, but when it’s just me, especially when im in my bed at night, and im left alone with myself, i think, i get overwhelmed and i cry. my mind won’t stop unraveling and questioning and replaying everything. i get stuck. ive tried almost everything. i’ve tried medicine, meditation, therapy, routines, teas, baths, candles, new friends, old friends, exercise, diets, hurting myself, not hurting myself, travel, sleeping, talking and not talking. i think that this is just who i am. and i hate who i am. i don’t know much about anyone else, but this is not what living is. my misery has taken up so much of my life. ive only just turned 18 and i cant imagine a future where i keep having to be like this every day and for forever. especially now in year 12, my life will just get harder and more challenging, and things will change and keep changing but i won’t. i’ll stay like this forever. does it ever go away? i can’t be stuck with myself like this forever.

Menopause 🙄

replies: 2

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and ... View more

Post menopausal 5 years now. Has anyone else’s marriage reached breaking point during this time? Don’t know who I am anymore, and don’t like who I’ve become with the husband in the last few years. No interest in an intimate relationship anymore, and just can’t deal with his total oblivion to everything. Definitely goes hand in hand, but so over talking to myself. Even a toddler could give more consistency.

The Shangri-La of living with mental health

replies: 2

Through my own lived experiences and those of members here and community champions, I've landed in a place that is "manageable in terms of my mental health. On most days that is, we learn that our inground issues never go away but overall I'm in a go... View more

Through my own lived experiences and those of members here and community champions, I've landed in a place that is "manageable in terms of my mental health. On most days that is, we learn that our inground issues never go away but overall I'm in a good space. So what are the key components of that happiness especially the mandatory ones that should be implemented? People management. If we lived in a wold where you were the only living human then your issues would reduce quickly. This is because the world is made up of humans that can be destructive, cruel, over reactive, manipulative, criminal, narcissistic and many other abrasive things that should lead you to create and enforce boundaries. Implementing them can crate more issues with these people but it is a last resort and a self protection mechanism that becomes essential. Without these rules you are lacking self care.Embracing people. When you identify a kind soul that is considerate, empathetic, lacking obligation and non pressured in personality then you can assist your growth by keeping them in your life and that forms a feeling of securityOngoing treatment. It's ok to get to a place like I'm at now and allow treatment to slip away (I'm also 69yo). If your life is under your control including feelings, reactions and you are stable then you're ok. A good gauge is twofold- that people around you are happy and content with your behaviour and your life no longer has a flip flop of regular bad day that leads to adverse actions like self harm and suicidal thoughts. That is when you return to the treatment to set you straight.Fill your life up. Many sufferers have a lot of time on their hands so distractions like a passion and hobbies can be a preventative measure. Passions are rarely crated, they come naturally but hobbies can be picked up. Sport is another interest that can helpSleep. Sounds sleep is underestimated to your mental health. If you snore or a partner told you that you stop breathing for periods of time while asleep then a sleep study is essential - see your GP. I've had 3 and on the 3rd study I was advised to wear a CPAP breathing apparatus at night. It has transformed my alertness during the day and has been pivotal to lowering moodEnvironment. Advantages of a country town are a slower pace lifestyle, less condensity of traffic, shops and people, less crime, friendlier people. Just make sure a town has over 3000 people and less than 8000.Thoughts?TonyWK

Hi Guys

replies: 3

Hi Guys, I an in Australia since last 6 years, but lonely Need someone to talk to

Long time sober

replies: 2

hi I’ve been sober 5 years off drugs. I’ve more than ever lately been feeling tempted back to drugs as a coping mechanism. Last 6 months or so.. last week my family dog was put down. This week a close family friend whom I used to use with has come to... View more

hi I’ve been sober 5 years off drugs. I’ve more than ever lately been feeling tempted back to drugs as a coping mechanism. Last 6 months or so.. last week my family dog was put down. This week a close family friend whom I used to use with has come to be very unwell with cancer and in hospital. I can’t help but want to use lately this has been a push towards those feelings. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 4 years. Sober the whole time. I feel judged by him for my previous addiction. Can’t talk to him about my feelings of wanting to return to drugs. He was in a car accident 2 years ago and has drugs in his sock drawer leftover. I’m writing this instead of trying to distract him while I steal a few… I haven’t felt so tempted in my life. I need to stay sober. I’m finally in a place where I have a hope of a career and a future. I could ruin it with one decision. How bad could it be if I did? I could push away everyone then it wouldn’t affect anyone but me. I know awful but who would really care. I know a few. I need mostly to just vent but then again maybe some reassurance that this is normal after so many years sober. I can still get through it right? I feel I can only be resolved by using but I know that’s not true…

Tradies National Health Month

replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

eating disorder

replies: 1

i've been suffering with eating disorders since around last year. last year, i had anorexia. it was horrible and i was in a terrible mental state the whole time. things started changing in my life and somehow i mentally willed myself into 'recovery' ... View more

i've been suffering with eating disorders since around last year. last year, i had anorexia. it was horrible and i was in a terrible mental state the whole time. things started changing in my life and somehow i mentally willed myself into 'recovery' before things got much worse. it started off alright but as i got more stressed with school and whatnot I completely lost it and started binge-eating and developed BED. i can feel myself getting fatter every time i look into the mirror, then i look at my old photos from last year and i think, wow i used to be so hot and skinny. i know i was unhealthy but my face looked so skinny compared to now. i've gained like five kg and i keep wanting to go back, to lose the weight again. so i restrict. then i binge because i'm deprived of nutrients. then i restrict to make up for the binge. then i binge. sometimes i purge. anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, i've experienced it all, wow... a never-ending cycle all i want is to have a healthy relationship with food. but i feel like i look ugly. can people tell i look fatter? do they think "Wow, she sure gained a lot of weight."? i worry about if people will dislike me or treat me worse if i'm not at my skinniest and "prettiest". it's a constant battle between my healthy mind and my unhealthy, eating disorder mind. i try to be healthy. but every time i eat the thought of calories creeps back in. like, how many calories are in this? am i eating under my daily calorie limit? i'm trying to get better. i'm gonna just let myself eat. focus on getting the right nutrients i need to survive instead of looking at the numbers. also, if there are people out there who genuinely treat others worse if they aren't ultra-skinny, then they're just mean people whose opinions shouldn't really matter to me.

Ways to make friends and meet people / partners in Adelaide

replies: 3

I am a 25 year old male with a good job and I am fit and healthy. I find life here pretty isolated and lonely. My routine basically consists of work -> gym -> chill at home repeat. I’m looking for ways to make friends/ meet partners. Social clubs, ac... View more

I am a 25 year old male with a good job and I am fit and healthy. I find life here pretty isolated and lonely. My routine basically consists of work -> gym -> chill at home repeat. I’m looking for ways to make friends/ meet partners. Social clubs, activities where people don’t think it’s weird to be there just to make friends and make some extra effort to be social.Id be into activities that involved being active like run clubs or rock climbing. I’m also a bit of a nerd so if there’s good card or board gaming clubs they would be up my alley. I also used to play volleyball but I’m not much good at other team sports. I play drums and am quite into music if there is good clubs for these actives in Adelaide.Work you can make friends but in this environment its always treading on ice. Im into martial arts and train regularly, but the club doesn’t really hold social events. Since Covid social life hasnt really recovered and all my old high school friends are in long term relationships

How do I know if I'm faking a personality disorder?

replies: 7

Hai, I'm 16, this is kind of a long vent I guess n some of this probably won't make any sense, and I have no idea if this fits the like forum website guidelines or not either so if ur confused I can probably clarify, and ive tried my best to be as ho... View more

Hai, I'm 16, this is kind of a long vent I guess n some of this probably won't make any sense, and I have no idea if this fits the like forum website guidelines or not either so if ur confused I can probably clarify, and ive tried my best to be as honest and considerate about possible alternatives Usually I'd try to be honest, and I know the things I can do and the way I act can seem outlandish or distressing, but people label me as solely doing or feeling all of those things for some kind of shock purpose? I mean I know I can be cruel sometimes, like since I was basically 7 I used to immediately want to hurt whoever hurt my feelings soo my mum basically just got me tested for whatever neurodivergent stuff she could, and I have ADHD and like a really low thing of autism that barely even counts, and I guess you could argue most of my violent impulse control was just my ADHD or something, but as I kind of got older it felt like I was kind of getting meaner, like I had a dog my aunt had n I used to pull her ears or choke and squeeze her until I heard her screaming... and now that I'm a little older I've had a few run in withs police and been admitted to hospital for mental crisis shit, like I smashed a car window by accident and it cut my arm all up. and besides all of that total psychopath textbook definition stuff I've had like a lot of trouble with work commitments and at school, I got suspended several times at the same school for 'bullying and threatening staff and other students' among just being late to class or skipping n minor uniform infractions, one point they just told me they couldn't have me for the rest of the year unless I had ADHD medication and opted to have me held back... Anyway during this time my aunts dog, the same one I basically tortured had died and my mother had a heart attack so I was moved to a group home until she was physically fit enough to care for me again... anyway the group home I stayed at wasn't really that bad I guess, besides the kid who threatened who stab me to death after I smashed up his tv and started beating him up after he tried to push me over; it was actually just really standard. Even though I ran away in the middle of the night and walked like half way to the other side of the city 3 times, and at one point I just stood on a ledge and said I'd kill myself on a helpline n they called police to drag me down. Actually I ran away when I was living with my mother a lot too, whenever her boyfriend was kinda mean to me I guess, I mean at one point I came up with a story and said that he was abusive and hit me and my brother' I mean he did ACTUALLY hit my brother but honestly I can tell within myself he really wasn't that bad to me..? Or I guess he was that bad to me... so court believed me and had me also moved out of my mothers house, on top of the heart attack shit actually it was like a huge comorbid excuse to disown me... anyway I said he was hitting me and stuff to my counsellor and they took it seriously and my mum was all upset at me driving to court n I had to present there with my brother, who honestly might be more insane than me I guess bcus he used to try and hit my mum and stab us n he stole stuff and took drugs and was always crying over his friend trying to kill themself. He said I tried to drown him in our pool lots growing up though, I cant deny or agree bcus I dont remember. And besides all of that traumatic shit, like my dad also divorcing my mother and having a HUGE custody battle over me and my brother trying to say I was kidnapped n trying to basically deport me I had a weird amount of internet access, like I think I was honestly molested or groomed online but I don't rlly care, like I found communities and met real people and I saw a scary amount of like real car accidents and people being shot to death. Anyway just now that I think about it, how I process it all, even though maybe at one point I was faking a personality disorder or something I GENUINELY think I might have one now, not like It's really distressing to think about or anything, I mean it would b kinda cool to have it like a funny sitcom personality trait, but because Ive been bragging about thinking I have one any actual counsellor I've met already dismisses any kinda conversation I bring up relating it bcus I've "tried to hard to fake one..." like I feel like the more I unravel and learn about myself, and how I just process my own life, other peoples feelings their humanity and everything... I feel like I genuinely maybe do actually have something there... and I also really don't wanna stab someone and go to jail,

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The true meaning of Self-Love

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