Staying well

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Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 703

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Kazzl Helpful books and resources
  • replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

Chris_B Worried about other users - how are we all doing?
  • replies: 43

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences... View more

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings. I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress? Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it? Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

All discussions

Ggrand Nature is both beautiful and healing...🌲🌸🦋
  • replies: 64

Hello Everyone.... I love nature and I find it very helpful in helping me in healing way..when I’m not in a good head space...I was wondering if others feel the same and am hoping that you might share your piece of nature, whether it’s a small patch ... View more

Hello Everyone.... I love nature and I find it very helpful in helping me in healing way..when I’m not in a good head space...I was wondering if others feel the same and am hoping that you might share your piece of nature, whether it’s a small patch of grass in your back yard..somewhere that you drive to, to just relax, somewhere close to you that you walk amongst...and if you have really taken the time to listen, watch, feel, smell, the wonders all around us.. I love nature..the trees, flowers, creatures both big and small, it’s my solitude place, a place I go to when things are getting to hard for me.. I am lucky, I have this huge gumtree which I found out about recently... It was planted around 70 years ago by a local here when she was a little girl, and living in the house I’m now living in...About 5 years after she planted it, a strong wind with rain blew it down....A few of the locals saw her trying to stand it up to replant it...and they came to help her...and successfully managed to replant it....Today it’s easily over 60feet tall and just as wide, the trunk of the tree would need 4 people to hug it by joining hands.. The tree stands in front of my place and in front of the paddocks across from me..which the owner has some Angus cows, which love to lay under the tree....Birds are everywhere here, and a few use the tree as their home.. I sit outside for hours sometimes, watching the birds come and go for food and water I have supplied for them in bird feeders and bird baths....It’s a beautiful and peaceful way to relax watching and feeling what Mother Nature has provided for us... For me it’s both calming and healing... Do you have a piece of nature around you...and how does it make you feel when you take the time to just look and take in the wonder of it all.... We would love to hear about how nature helps you...and do you find that it can be healing for your soul... Kind and caring thoughts everyone.. Grandy..

blondguy Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)
  • replies: 1330

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of le... View more

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement" Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!! My Kindest Thoughts Paul

ScarlettR Do you find watching Youtube 4K walk videos a great way to unwind and relax at home?
  • replies: 3

As we are still in a pandemic, lockdowns and their aftermaths have worn down the best of us. Even then, sometimes we just can't leave our homes to venture into the city or local shopping centre for some reason. On Youtube, there are 4k videos - basic... View more

As we are still in a pandemic, lockdowns and their aftermaths have worn down the best of us. Even then, sometimes we just can't leave our homes to venture into the city or local shopping centre for some reason. On Youtube, there are 4k videos - basically, it's someone who's filming their POV as they walk through cities and attractions. There are hundreds of such videos on Youtube, covering many cities and places across the world. They tend to run for about 30 minutes on average, and it's a great opportunity to do people-watching and contemplating the sights. I used to live in South Australia, and I often watch 4K videos of Adelaide CBD, because it brings back so many nice memories and I feel a release of bottled-up emotions and feel I'm actually there, walking in Adelaide. It's also just interesting to watch the other people walking and any new developments in the area. Does anyone else watch 4K videos, too? I think it's great for people with mental illness who are curious about the world and can get a personal "tour" of any global city.

Is_it_Just_Me_ Staying Positive
  • replies: 7

Hi there, how are you? Can I ask for help first please........I don't know how to register a profile name. Adivice would be much appreciated. I struggle sometime with the fear of losing my peace which I find through 'connections'.........I know my tr... View more

Hi there, how are you? Can I ask for help first please........I don't know how to register a profile name. Adivice would be much appreciated. I struggle sometime with the fear of losing my peace which I find through 'connections'.........I know my triggers can be loneliness, self-pity, boredom. When this happens I feel myself slipping and this frightens me senseless because then it's a slow slide down the old rabbit hole. I could feel it happening the other day and the fear was tangible.......and I thought, you know what, you're not getting me this time. Forced myself to think about what I could do...........life had dealt some pretty heafty blows in the last few months and I'm more of a listener than a talker so I keep things to myself. Big mistake I know. I'd been giving and giving and giving which is fine. I didn't want to talk to a 'professional" as it wasn't something I couldn't work on myself. What I realised was, I needed someone to talk to as a friend, to just share the ups and downs of life and someone who could also relate to the fear of when things are going good that you're maybe wondering how long you've got being connected to life to being dis-connected and becoming that pain-filled zombie. I missed having a really good laugh about it all to be honest. So, here I am...a person without a name - lol and just connecting........don't know if anyone will answer but I'm enjoying just writing. Was trying to think of a profile name and people come up with all these really clever ones and I can't think of anything really. I don't want anything cheesy or too positive cos that turns me off a bit so I kinda came up with "Is it Just Me?" Anyway, very strange typing into something that you don't know is really real so I'll be pleasantly surprised if I get a reply. Stay safe........... "Is it Just Me?"

Jacq333 Irritability and impatience - how to stop it??
  • replies: 6

When my anxiety and depression is high, I get extremely irritable and lash out about the smallest things such as traffic or simply someone not hearing me (not, not listening, not hearing). My whole body feels tense, my insides feel like they are on f... View more

When my anxiety and depression is high, I get extremely irritable and lash out about the smallest things such as traffic or simply someone not hearing me (not, not listening, not hearing). My whole body feels tense, my insides feel like they are on fire and that I could just scream at someone. when it subsides sometimes a day or 2 later I end up a wreck and cry a lot. I know a big sleep helps calm me down too. Does anyone else get this? How do you control it or stop it being so bad? I feel awful afterwards as I know I have snapped and shouted at people for no reason. I don't get violent thankfully. Any tips would be great

Sliksista63 Introducing myself
  • replies: 8

Hi all I'm new to the thread so hi, I'm looking forward to getting started and not feeling so detached, I have anxiety and depression and a really troublesome fear to having my blood pressure taken (even at home), I do a fair bit to help myself pract... View more

Hi all I'm new to the thread so hi, I'm looking forward to getting started and not feeling so detached, I have anxiety and depression and a really troublesome fear to having my blood pressure taken (even at home), I do a fair bit to help myself practicing aspects of spiritually, exercise, meditation social swimming and water aerobics, so yeah, hi. Looking forward to hearing from you.

contrarymary Ideas for a better night sleep without taking medication
  • replies: 5

I feel like I have never slept a full night since my children were small many years ago i go to bed around 9.30pm and read for about an hour nothing to heavy usually a woman's magazine what usually happens I drop of to sleep whilst reading and wake u... View more

I feel like I have never slept a full night since my children were small many years ago i go to bed around 9.30pm and read for about an hour nothing to heavy usually a woman's magazine what usually happens I drop of to sleep whilst reading and wake up about midnight and that's it I am awake for hours before going back to sleep i have tried going to bed later only to wake after a couple of hours sleep. Tried listening to music or reading a boring book still wake up after a couple of hours. i did an experiment last week I watched a comedy on britbox fell asleep whilst watching when I woke up I had slept through 4 episodes which was 2 hours lookingfor ideas on how to sleep longer. I am not tired when I get up in morning or during the day, I would like a night where I don't lie awake for hours. Spoke to GP his answer was sleeping pills don't want to start. its the same when we are away from home, perhaps I am one of those people who don't need much sleep last night I put light out at 10.30pm woke up what I thought was hours later but it was 12.30pm any advice appreciated

Elithia Chronic Pain - good days and bad days
  • replies: 39

Hi lovely people, So my main mental health challenge these days relates to living with chronic pain. I wondered if there might be others in the same situation? It's a tricky topic: it doesn't fit neatly into anxiety or depression, and so I've posted ... View more

Hi lovely people, So my main mental health challenge these days relates to living with chronic pain. I wondered if there might be others in the same situation? It's a tricky topic: it doesn't fit neatly into anxiety or depression, and so I've posted it here. I'm thinking of a thread where people can share their good days (strategies that work; small victories; celebrations) as well as bad days (hitting the wall; or just those dark nights of the soul when pain gets in the way of sleep). If you are living with chronic (or acute) pain, and this thread sounds like something you'd be interested in, I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for reading. Wamest wishes, Elithia

zailleh Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?
  • replies: 40

Hi Everyone, One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't ma... View more

Hi Everyone, One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't make myself do them because depression just kills all motivation. Just hoping to draw on the collective experience here. What kind of things do you to help make yourself do the things that make you feel better? Cheers, Zailleh

white knight GUILT the tormentor
  • replies: 45

Guilt in my opinion originates from a factor in our childhood. I dont think its hereditary but if our homelife includes generations of narcissistic behaviour then it could feel like its passed down. I know its not passed down because although I am a ... View more

Guilt in my opinion originates from a factor in our childhood. I dont think its hereditary but if our homelife includes generations of narcissistic behaviour then it could feel like its passed down. I know its not passed down because although I am a child of a narcissistic mother (and a nurturing one) I stopped the flow on to my children by refusing the trend of becoming a controlling parent. If hereditary I couldnt have succeeded. So why did I end up suffering guilty intrusive thoughts? As my father worked 14 hour days 6 days a week, our mother was our prime parent. She didnt work. Outsiders never knew. Its what went on behind closed doors that scarred us forever. As a young child, there is a huge difference between control and guidance. As teenagers there is a gap between a parent with recommendations and domination. As we arrive in our 20's we cant deal with our bossy parent any longer and fight back against what is by now manipulation and a gang mentality...even emotional blackmail. The narcissistic parent is clever. They'll use any means at their disposal to control. In my case turning our loving father and relatives against us. They can be possessive of your friends and even try to coerce you to choose a partner preferring one that can be "moulded" into their deputy...more control. If you've read this far you might also be a victim. What can you do? Im 61yo. Right up till 54yo I tried everything but nothing worked. My sister and I broke off all contact, put "return to sender" on letters from our mother and as she had ruined my first wedding in 1985, got a court order so she couldnt ruin my second wedding (her threat) It is highly unlikely a relationship with a narcissist of little contact will work as the control they lust for isnt with them, its with you. How dare you control your own life! So guilt forms in ways like being told- they are never wrong, you are at fault, you make poor choices, if you do that I'll do this, if you do that I'll ruin your life, etc Add to that some anxiety if the narcissistic parent is a "yeller". The expectations are too great as to your immature capacity to "be a good boy". You are their robot. I attended a psychologist. I'll never forget his words at the last session "do you think you need her permission to live without fear?" That was the light that sparked me realising her hold was a firm grip. Demand to yourself the basic right to mental freedom. Walk away, get help to repair the guilt wound ..into a scar. Tony WK