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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Wit - the only answer for torment?
  • replies: 7

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit... View more

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit. Countless times when I've been abused or slandered I've swallowed it and fumed for a long time. This has resulted in the "steamer effect", my term to describe the pressure cooker within.I havent had the wit to quickly react ideally in a cordial, calm and measured manner to my opponent. "Opponent". Yes we are talking duels here, a fact of life of fighting with other people, an act many find a part of normal life. Once, only once, I predicted a person, in this case my ex defacto partner, that she would approach me on a topic. If so I had an answer for her- I'd had a hobby of building model aircraft for 7 years. She didnt like me spending time at the field. She one day sta down and lit up a *** and said "how much do you think you have spent on your hobby in the last 7 years". I replied "$11,000". To which she replied "are you proud of that"? I replied "far better than the $35,000 you have spent on chain smoking cigarettes". The topic was abandoned. And the topic never resurfaced. I call that premeditated WIT. But premeditated wit does not exist IMO. It was planned to equalise an onslaught of criticism that I believed was not necessary. So, I've seen people in my many workplaces use wit as quick as lightning. A response that leaves the aggressor in their wake or commences a debate. But I dont have that automatic response mechanism in my brain. What is the result of that absence? Torment!! And the long term effect- hibernation. In my case, as stated many times now- hibernation means not locking myself away but some withdrawal from society. Fewer of all people in the end. Fewer meetings with people, fewer clubs to join, fewer facebook friends etc. Effectively, rather than growing wit, I've compensated with less people of whom could hurt me with contact in the first place. The result is less torment. And a happier life. Do any of you have ideas on finding wit? For me I'd need to be on my toes constantly, viewing everyone as a potential enemy. I just want to respond to those abusers out there in an automatic way, to guard myself against humans that feed from nastiness.....

white knight Tolerating people
  • replies: 24

It is kind of selfish that subject heading but we do often worry about others tolerating us. If you guys ever want to avoid people then drive a bland car, dont take a dog with you and cross the street when others approach. Seriously, I dont do any of... View more

It is kind of selfish that subject heading but we do often worry about others tolerating us. If you guys ever want to avoid people then drive a bland car, dont take a dog with you and cross the street when others approach. Seriously, I dont do any of that, I drive an attractive vintage car and we tow our unique and also attractive homemade caravan. This, when on holidays means bees to honey. So whats my problem? Small talk. I dont drive our rig to get attention, we drive it because we love driving it and staying in our van. So trying to relax for an afternoon nap is nye impossible. Knock knock. Same questions..."Is it an MG"? "What engine's in it...does it tow alright?...a mate of mine has a....well I forget what it is but. .." So, Ive tried parking/camping in the most away position, put a car cover on but the shape you cant hide. Every second visitor rambles on for 20-45 minutes...same questions, same answers. I accept my bipolar tolerance/moods is the problem, no running away from that. But Ive run out of ideas and being an ideas man that doesnt sit right. Its also the case with meeting anyone that talks small talk. If a fellow talks engineering with engines or say aircraft development I'm glued with interest as I find it stimulating...I like learning. If however a he is talking about his grandchilds birthday party how he couldnt blow out all the candles...I'm itching to run away. My dear wife isnt a social creature preferring our own quiet company so its not like I've got her as a distraction for these chatterboxes. So self aware of this problem I have, when I approach someone about there own car or motorhome I only do so to ask specific questions and limit them to say 5-10 minutes. But that's the considerate Tony and that doesnt mean I'm better or more correct than others. Finally, some people use a talking point to actually tell you their life story. The last thing I'd do is be rude however, so I just fume inside. I just cant tolerate small talk for longer than a minute or two. Anyone else feel the same?. What do you do about it? I feel its a case of "been there done that". In my 61 years Ive jammed in 90 jobs and 15 professions. Etc etc Tony WK

white knight Meditation - words of wisdom - it helped me for 25 years
  • replies: 11

I'm an atheist with a healthy respect for peoples choice for their own religious beliefs. I then tend to slowly move away when anyone starts to talk religion so as not to offend. However 25 years ago a then neighbour lent me a tape of a man named PRE... View more

I'm an atheist with a healthy respect for peoples choice for their own religious beliefs. I then tend to slowly move away when anyone starts to talk religion so as not to offend. However 25 years ago a then neighbour lent me a tape of a man named PREM RAWAT....also known as Maharaji. He asked me to listen to this tape alone and when wanting peace in my life.I listened and the tears never stopped from the beginning to the end. It was and still is the most beautiful piece of music and words I've ever heard.The story of Maharaji as was told to me 25 years ago was: that at 9 years old he attended a funeral where hundreds of people gathered to mourn the death of an elder. In his confusion this boy climbed a tall fence and yelled at all the mourners to stop weeping and instead to rejoice in the elders death,and his achievements. He began to make an impact on his society. At 13 years old there are some youtube film of him addressing audiences...his fame was rapidly accelerating. At around 40 years old he was flying his own Learjet around the world spreading his messages.There may well be a religious foundation to his movement. For me it doesnt matter. I am in awe of his words and Youtube messages and dont intend on pursuing his movement as an official follower. In one of his messages he mentions things like queues, forms to fill out and other stressful modern chores. He puts things into perspective. He gives you the listener the opportunity to reconsider your place in the world, your own presence, appreciating your worth.In one tape I heard, he explained how you have a key to your door- your inner self. No one else has that key. You haveit but you have to find it. Many, so many people never find it...like a life wasted away. Once you find your inner self, no easy feat, you are at full peace. Many of his followers meet him, talk shortly with him and often find out, disappointingly, that he has told them to keep searching for he knows through that short conversation- that they have a journey left to go before they will find their true selves.There are many other reasons why I have ended up a positive thinker in my life. This is only one of them. When my thinking goes 'south' I often click onto one of Maharaji's youtube's to return to the fundamentals. He usually makes more sense than anyone else.Delai Lama and others also hit the mark with quotes. I hope Maharaji helps you, sooths you and gives you a direction of hope.

quirkywords Dear Diary, a day to day look at self isolation
  • replies: 112

Hi I have gone into self isolation . I will be alone and not seeing any friends or family. I know we have other threads, but I would really like people to share their day to day thoughts and activities: the highlights the fun things the frustrations ... View more

Hi I have gone into self isolation . I will be alone and not seeing any friends or family. I know we have other threads, but I would really like people to share their day to day thoughts and activities: the highlights the fun things the frustrations he things you can change I think each day it would be good to share On thing that surprised me to day. I would like you to share your ideas because it will help us all work out how. So here is my first entry bit will be back later. Dear Diary, Day 1 I am not sure whether I am excited or a bit unsure. I know I will need to distract myself and hide the chocolate biscuits.!! I have a list of what I want to do but I think it is too ambitious. One thing that surprised me was how much noise I like to have when alone. This may change. Quirky

mmMekitty Can you list what you like about yourself?
  • replies: 60

Hello everyone! [Grinning LRC*]Please, as a challenge or to share, I would like to invite anyone & everyone to write a list of any length you want, of what you like about yourself.We might even have a discussion about what to include on these lists o... View more

Hello everyone! [Grinning LRC*]Please, as a challenge or to share, I would like to invite anyone & everyone to write a list of any length you want, of what you like about yourself.We might even have a discussion about what to include on these lists or not.Most of all, for this Discussion, I hope, for those who find this really difficult, that reading what others like about themselves will give you some ideas of what is possible. Maybe you will find you like some of these things about yourself?Big hugzies to everyonemmMekitty* LRC = Little Red cat, who wasn't really so little.

quirkywords Can you change being indecisive.?
  • replies: 2

I am indecisive. I could not even decide what this topic would be about. I find making life time decisions or small decisions hard so end up making poor choices because I worry about what to decide.Poor decision making skills has effected my relation... View more

I am indecisive. I could not even decide what this topic would be about. I find making life time decisions or small decisions hard so end up making poor choices because I worry about what to decide.Poor decision making skills has effected my relationships with partners , family and work. I would like people to share if the would like tohow they make decisions how they overcame being indecisive how they cope with being indecisive

zailleh Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?
  • replies: 41

Hi Everyone, One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't ma... View more

Hi Everyone, One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't make myself do them because depression just kills all motivation. Just hoping to draw on the collective experience here. What kind of things do you to help make yourself do the things that make you feel better? Cheers, Zailleh

blondguy Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)
  • replies: 1355

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of le... View more

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement" Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!! My Kindest Thoughts Paul

Built2Bbetter Drug relapse and loneliness
  • replies: 1

Hi there, im just wànted to get something out as I'm annoyed at myself, I have been an addict for around 20 years, 10 of those a heavy user. I stopped using 3 & 1/2 years ago and within the last 3 months I have started using again I'm so annoyed and ... View more

Hi there, im just wànted to get something out as I'm annoyed at myself, I have been an addict for around 20 years, 10 of those a heavy user. I stopped using 3 & 1/2 years ago and within the last 3 months I have started using again I'm so annoyed and disappointed at myself. I have held down a steady job for 2 years, had both my kids in my full time care for 2 years got money in the bank but I have no one, no friends and no relationship, I don't even know how I'm so insecure and antisocial I thought if I did all the right things it would work out for me but instead I've realised it isn't going to be ok, I'm going to be alone and sought comfort with drugs.... I'm really worried my kids will start to notice my behaviour, I have booked myself in for weekly counselling sessions and reduced my work week from 5 to 3 days just to try take the pressure off myself..... Is there no end to this,I don't want this and any nice woman wouldn't want this in there life either... I have a couple of years until my kids should be all moved out of home I'm trying to just hold on for another couple of years but I'm failing.... All I want is someone nice to hug me, kiss me and lay down and fall asleep bedside me so I know that I'm not so alone, I'm scared to let my kids down if I don't sort myself out soon I will do so much damage and will have failed them, I feel so sad. I dont need people to tell me it will be ok I just want some advise on how to deal with this, I have no hobbies or interests other than drugs, Ive spent 3 years laying on my bed watching Netflix every spare moment because I don't have no idea what else to do... Is anyone else like this? Thanks for listening

naustical11 Reaching out for help with intensified post covid depression .
  • replies: 5

I already had problems with anxiety and depression but ever since covid it has gotten so much worse . I was not worried about the virus , it’s not an anxiety I had problems with previously , but ever since having the virus it has intensified the symp... View more

I already had problems with anxiety and depression but ever since covid it has gotten so much worse . I was not worried about the virus , it’s not an anxiety I had problems with previously , but ever since having the virus it has intensified the symptoms I already had . I can’t eat , drink , or sleep . I’m surviving on icy poles and haven’t eaten a solid meal in months . my gp has done “all the investigations “ and all they can say every time I go in sick is “you’ve picked up another gastro virus” . blood tests show minor problems but nothing to justify the intensity of this . I e lost weight and am now underweight I miss food and can’t stomach a single thing . psychologists are unavailable in my area , I tried telehealth appointments but they were useless . I’m on medication for anxiety and depression . Any advice ?