Staying well

To apologise or not to apologise is that the question?

replies: 44

Welcome everyone. I call myself the queen sorry as I'm always saying sorry whether things are my fault or not . Someone could tread on my toe and I would say sorry .A friend will be late and I'll say sorry. You get the idea. I am often being told I s... View more

Welcome everyone. I call myself the queen sorry as I'm always saying sorry whether things are my fault or not . Someone could tread on my toe and I would say sorry .A friend will be late and I'll say sorry. You get the idea. I am often being told I say sorry way too much and that could affect my self-esteem.. It is just second nature to say sorry. I am not aware of it until someone points it out. I thought I know people who never apologize or rarely apologize but no one ever seems to say to them that they should apologise more. So do you think it is worse to apologise too much or too little ? I am interested in your personal experiences.

Inner critic struggle daily

replies: 1

Hi all and thank you in advance for replies. I'm in my 40s and have battled a life of a strong inner critic to a point now where I simply just struggle to live each day without feeling hard on myself. I've had this weird habit for so many years where... View more

Hi all and thank you in advance for replies. I'm in my 40s and have battled a life of a strong inner critic to a point now where I simply just struggle to live each day without feeling hard on myself. I've had this weird habit for so many years where I journal a pageor so and talk about how I'm going to make some changes and find inner peace. Then in a day or two I feel down for whatever reason and end up throwing away the journal and starting again and then repeat. I definitely had a strict father and have problems because of this but wish I could just break the cycle and get through each day and keep going. I've made so many stupid mistakes in my life and done plenty of bad things just to help numb the emotional pain and it just makes everything worse. I wish I could just have a fresh start but this is not possible. I've had plenty of times where I've had suicidal thoughts but I guess I'm a fighter and still here. It's hard to explain and weird but hoping someone has some similarities or solutions because I've tried so many things. Thanks again.

Living in Public Housing - is it affecting your health?

replies: 22

I'm living in public housing and the fibro house is so hot in the summer I got heat exhaustion and my little dog had to go to the vet with heat exhaustion. In winter it's so cold we have to stay outside most of the day as it's warmer (it gets sub-zer... View more

I'm living in public housing and the fibro house is so hot in the summer I got heat exhaustion and my little dog had to go to the vet with heat exhaustion. In winter it's so cold we have to stay outside most of the day as it's warmer (it gets sub-zero here in winter) and we can't afford the heating. There is no air conditioning or way to cool the house in summer. Before this I lived in a unit block of public housing and it was frightening being a woman living alone as some of the men would throw things at my windows at night and threaten me. The police had to be called again and again, it was embarrassing and frightening as the men would get into fights with each other. I thought when I moved to an old house in a normal residential street it would be different, but they have had such bad tenants here in the past the neighbours are suspicious of me - I am an older woman living alone with my small dog, I had to stop working and go on the pension for health reasons. There is no support here and I am left entirely alone. I am now trying to get a transfer out but the paperwork is dreadful and the wait times are very long. I am grateful for having an affordable home but I wish it was better insulated for hot summers and cold winters and that I felt safer. I dread the summer, last summer was like being baked alive in this house. Is anyone else here living in public housing and how do you find it?

Aneurysm cured

replies: 6

Hi I am 70 years old and 4 years ago I was diagnosed with an aneurysm on my ascending aorta during a regular heart ultra sound check . The dilation measured 48mm (35mm is normal) and was confirmed by a CT scan a week later. I was told by the heart sp... View more

Hi I am 70 years old and 4 years ago I was diagnosed with an aneurysm on my ascending aorta during a regular heart ultra sound check . The dilation measured 48mm (35mm is normal) and was confirmed by a CT scan a week later. I was told by the heart specialist that modern medicine had no cure, drugs or therapies for this codition only open heart surgery when the aneurysm reached 55mm. I was told that the dilation would continue to grow at around 1mm per year. The surgery apart from replacing the affected area of the aneurym with an artificial device I could also expect an artifical mechanical Tricuspid valve. 12 months ago after another CT scan the aneurysm had grown to 50.1 and I was getting depressed. I decided then and there I was not going to just sit around without doing nothing so I scoured the internet for any natural healing medicines that might slow or stop the growth. I looked for any medicines, Herbs or vitamines that might help support my cardiovascular system. I eventually found around 12 such products and settled on 8 with some minor changes to my diet . I had a new CT scan last week after 12 months on my new programe and to everybodies shock to Aneurysm had reversed itself and was now back to near normal levels of 38mm . The doctors had never seen this happen and it goes to show you that there is always hope especially if you are prepared to look outside the square

Accepting your mental illness

replies: 8

It is the most important and necessary step on our journey for the rest of our lives. To accept our condition. It involves nobody else this procedure. Sure our family and friends are effected one way or the other in being tolerant but this road we pa... View more

It is the most important and necessary step on our journey for the rest of our lives. To accept our condition. It involves nobody else this procedure. Sure our family and friends are effected one way or the other in being tolerant but this road we pave of acceptance is mostly done alone. You can take our hands as you begin your trek. We can plant the seeds, point you in the direction you should head and let you go. “We” being anyone that has empathy really and professional health carers. Essentially, the process of acceptance is a frame of mind. It is no different to other challenges of a physical nature except being an illness others cant see it is less accepted plus there is much more stigma that lurks in the minds of the unknown. So if you have a view, a rare view, of placing mental illness in the same basket as a physical illness it is easier to accept. Some basic rules though can be taken on board to help you along Regular contact with your GP is crucial. Even if you aren’t feeling 100% it is no longer a case of wait and see. Go, go to your GP. Defend yourself and distance yourself from the naïve and opinionated “expert” that will cause you to crash in an instant. You don’t need negativity to drag you down. Join other peer groups like this one whereby like minds get together to build your mental strength. Concentrate on what you can, not what you cannot do. This is all to do with positive thinking. Positive thinking in its best form is one whereby you also remain realistic. Mindset is important. You are not abnormal as there is no normal. You are YOU and they are themselves. For every person receiving medical attention for a mental illness there are likely 8 out their not getting it but truly have it. Feel self-appreciative that you are doing something about it Some illnesses effect us and our loved ones daily. This is a fact of our lives. Only after many conflicts do we realise our dosage is out of whack. This is the steep drawn out learning curve of mental illness. Accept that others we walk past in the street have restrictions. Like – some bound by wheelchairs or crutches/canes, some cant talk our language, homeless people, learning difficulties even financial incompetence and the list goes on. Depression and other related illnesses are no different apart from needing some well targeted professional help. Once accepted we can fine tune our lives better. We can move on, face other challenges like stability. Then its easier for others. Tony WK

Accepting change/ how to adapt to changes

replies: 2

I lately find myself viewing my life as phases. When I look back it’s almost like I’m viewing a camera that contains folders with each folder containing a selection of memories or pictures from every “phase” my person and social life is almost the co... View more

I lately find myself viewing my life as phases. When I look back it’s almost like I’m viewing a camera that contains folders with each folder containing a selection of memories or pictures from every “phase” my person and social life is almost the complete opposite of what it was 3-5 years ago. There are major factors playing there role into the reasons why and I’m more then aware of them. My question or my main topic of this discussion is one how do you deal with changes that are out of your control or changes that have happened to you personally or someone you love and what are some heathy coping mechanisms to “accept that it happened and move on “ my biggest problem I find with my negative or unwanted thoughts tend to be one’s of dwelling on the past I don’t want to forget these memories but I have an unhealthy attachment to them so I can move on and focus on my future and my present self

Mental Health or Work first

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm currently experiencing a dilemma regarding balancing mental health, uni, and work. Last year, I went through a particularly bad patch with my mental health in the second half of the year, with me being suicidal and extremely stressed... View more

Hi everyone, I'm currently experiencing a dilemma regarding balancing mental health, uni, and work. Last year, I went through a particularly bad patch with my mental health in the second half of the year, with me being suicidal and extremely stressed and anxious during this time. Additionally, I also crashed my car during this time and am in the process of trying to save up to buy a new car and afford insurance for it- I still need to save up a few thousand dollars more until I can afford this. It has only been in the last month or so that my mental health has gotten to a better point, for the first time in a while. I am about to start my third year of uni studying full-time, and I currently am experiencing a dilemma. I will have a casual job working for the uni which will be approximately 4 hours a week, and pays about $30 an hour. My current dilemma is that as well as these 4 hours per week, I can either choose to work an extra 5 hours a week with my mum and earn an extra $125 each week, or I can work at the chill retail job I currently have an extra 7-14 hours a week and earn $170-300 extra each week. Right now, I'm worried that if I choose to work the retail job along with my uni job, I'll get too overwhelmed and will find it difficult to balance work, uni, seeing my boyfriend and having time for myself, even though I'll be making extra money. However, if I choose the less overwhelming option which is to work with my mum, I'll be making less money and therefore it'll be a longer period of time before I can afford a car. I don't know what to do, and I feel like by putting my mental health first and choosing the "easier" option I'm being lazy. What advice do you guys have?

Long Term Insomnia

replies: 2

I've seen a couple of other posts about insomnia but the only one that seemed somewhat similar to my circumstance was rather old so I've started a new discussion. I hope that's OK. I've had insomnia for years that has waxed and waned somewhat but nev... View more

I've seen a couple of other posts about insomnia but the only one that seemed somewhat similar to my circumstance was rather old so I've started a new discussion. I hope that's OK. I've had insomnia for years that has waxed and waned somewhat but never gone away. It started during the time I was a party to a family court case. The case continued for most of the duration of my child's childhood. They're an adult now so the various immediate threats that existed during that time are in the past but it was a bit of a 'Red Pill' experience, to use the Matrix analogy, and I am more aware of some dangers that are out there and less trusting of the world. Also recently I've become unable to play tennis (bad knee) which has rather closed off a social avenue and I am dealing with a mother with significant onset of dementia. So my circumstances are not great but they've not suddenly changed. I feel OK. I don't feel depressed or excessively anxious. Probably my concentration is a little unfocused. I get relief from insomnia by taking over the counter anti-histamine. I only need a very small dose. However as I understand it this interrupts the REM cycle and the quality of sleep is reduced. Your not supposed to take it long term. After 2 nights of no sleep at all I'll take it though. I'd rather take an anti-histamine than an anti-depressant. I've seen a couple of things mentioned in other forums, a magnesium lotion and change of bed. So I think I'll give those a go. I'd like to hear from anyone who has any relevant experience or suggestions about insomnia or what I've raised above. Thanks

how do people know its time to move into own place

replies: 4

hi everyone just going through stuff at moment and looking for someone to talk to, am however ok was wondering how people know when it may be time to start thinking about moving into your own place and what you can do to have that feeling of your own... View more

hi everyone just going through stuff at moment and looking for someone to talk to, am however ok was wondering how people know when it may be time to start thinking about moving into your own place and what you can do to have that feeling of your own place until you can afford to buy your own and not pay as much in rent and not really be able to do what you want (am showing clues some days but cant afford to do anything and who knows if itll ever happen) might be 60 or more before being able to afford to buy own place if there is even hope but dont want to rent and not be able to do anything to place. how does someone earn enough money to be able to run a house and have enough left to save and have a life. not in a hurry to move out permanent just want somewhere to go and have space and have work space to put your own things and also what to be able to entertain in own space too. how do you do it on a low income/pension and have enough left to have a life and save. thanks everyone for listening

Not doing well...

replies: 1

Not sure if this is the right place... but im not doing well, i need someone anyone to tell me its ok... My dad died suddenly 2 years ago and its taken almost that long to finalise the estate which was a living hell with family refusing to assist, my... View more

Not sure if this is the right place... but im not doing well, i need someone anyone to tell me its ok... My dad died suddenly 2 years ago and its taken almost that long to finalise the estate which was a living hell with family refusing to assist, my wife was diagnosed with terminal illness 6 months later and ive spent the last 18 caring for her while trying to work in order to pay bills mortgages ect.. centrelink will give us nothing She refuses to let anyone else help or to be open about her problems, ive been forced out of the bedroom because of snoring,i sleep 6 hours a night if im lucky. I have no friends and no hobbies because i have zero time left for anything. I get yelled at and abused daily for shit that happened years ago and has nothing to do with me, ive been shut out of everything. I dont want to hurt myself or anyone else i just need a way to get her to understand that she has to change her attitude to make time for others. And i need someone to tell me its ok

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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