Hi, welcome
Well I dip my hat mate because you are down in the dumps, honest and open and thats a good start.
I'm 69yo but at 39yo was just separated from my 1st wife and young kids, regardless that I had a job siddenly I was challenged by living in a 11 foot caravan in a caravan park wondering what my future was going to be and my future with my kids. This went on for several weeks however I had one advantage. See at 26yo I had attended a motivation lecture that changed my view of life. From that I knew that no one was going to help me very much, that my greatest asset was always going to be my own motivation. I saw a block of land for sale and built my own kit home and I was on my way.
You situation and history is quite different but the ingredients of mindset are always the same- motivation. That "never give up" can be difficult to maintain, there will be lulls then highs but once you achieve one taks it will help you reach the next one. The only thing you need as well is what you said- a direction.
A short story. In 1989 I worked in a factory. Every Thursday a Vietnamese man (he arrived by boat as a refugee) knocked on our door looking for work. I turned him away for 6 weeks. My manager was present one Thursday and he knocked on the door again, I sent him away- then the manager asked about him, told my manager he knocked every Thursday for 6 weeks... my manager yelled out at the man and gave him a cleaning job and in a short time he was promoted. An example of making your own luck.
Confidence is a hard one to obtain. Of the people you are in contact with like at the supermarket, Chemist etc try to by friendly and ask questions, one question will lead to another. When single I asked a lady if she was single and she said no but her sister was and before I knew it I was on a date. People like open and friendliness.
So there would be sports, crafts and hobbies in your area. The local council would have ideas on that. A country town is easier to get to know people and they dont tend to move away.
As a single man back at 39yo I found that to meet a potential partner was more difficult than in my early 20's. Most ladies had children and thats ok (I did as well), but it meant asking myself and them if they were compatible with being in a step parent situation. Some arent suited to the task. I found that out when a lady I then lived with for 10 years was extremely jealous of my teenage daughters whereas I accepted her teens like my own kids. Just something to keep in mind. It is an example of making sure you are compatible in all areas before the relationship become serious. I found that the best step parent is one that loves all children.
So networking is the best way to meet people. Networking means expanding your social scene, meeting as many people as possible and disregarding the odd toxic person that gives you no comfort moving forward. Your past is in the past but a potential partner should become aware of the details after you form a connection and you can see a possible future with them. Too early and they could be afraid, too late and they'll feel you harboured your past. But regardless, humans make mistakes and if they are a potential for a future they should understand and accept your honesty- otherwise they aren't suitable. Another example of remaining positive.
I hope it works out for you., Reply anytime and here is a post below that might help. It's about that lecture at 26yo.
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525
TonyWK
