Dear AnonO~
Welcome to the Forum, I'm glad you came now as you are not in the best of places
It's true some employment, particularity high demand jobs, tend to push people, and that can result in drug use as a means of coping. At first it feels like the answer but that becomes less true over time.
Unfortunatly you seem to have reached the end of the 'Functional' part and are just left with the addiction. Calling in sick, needing more drugs in your life, paranoia, no longer socializing wiht your old freinds all sounds part of a pattern.
It is not easy to get out of this situation by yourself, in fact very hard indeed, and that means you need assistance so you are not by yourself in this. Part of that is clinical, changing your body back from the changes drugs have induced, part is support -where it is most likly your family will come in, and part is therapy to prevent recurrence.
Yes, it does mean telling other people, however that may not be nearly as hard as you think, and once you told osmeone things get easier, help becomes available, and the hope you can put all this behind you cna start.
Do you think htere is a member of your family who would be most understanding? If not go to a GP. You do not have to say everything out loud, listing the problems in point form and handing over the paper is fine.
Sometimes it is not easy to find someone to start off with, as a couple of suggestions: ring our 27/7 Help Line to see what is in your area, or contact Anglicare, who have helped many people in your situation.
Whoever you tell can help you find the appropriate support, it is much easier with two, and it starts there.
You are facing the very hardest part at the moment, it gets better.
Croix
