Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Confusing thoughts. (Delete if need be)

replies: 1

I'll make this part clear; I have not been having suicidal thoughts. In my mind I have never had thoughts about committing suicide. I've posted once or twice on different forums for help I guess I don't need since I can overreact. The question I need to ask however relates to a rephrasing of the term that I can't help but feel make people feel as if they're simply stuck when processing thoughts including myself... especially myself. Maybe it's too cryptic but the idea is this: Is your life worth living? Yes. I can't stress that through the day tomorrow and the day after that will bring you some peace. Your personal experience has value, meaning and purpose. I won't comment on this further since I have expressed that I have never felt suicidal feelings. The professionals on this site will put it in so many better words. I say it because it serves as a pre-context to what I find confusing and strange. Is living worth your life? Within this context, living relates to the broader context in which we as humans operate. Living feels inherently societal, communal, extrinsic - whereas life feels personal and intrinsic. It's confusing to me because when I ask myself "is any living worth my life" I say no. I want to explore, try new things, I don't believe that most if any path is worth the effort that people place into them. People should feel comfortable to change jobs when they want, meet new people (whether selfish or selfless) for support when they need that sort of support. In rain and shine, people find that they need different things at different times. But life rarely feels that open. It feels more siloed, walled off - not mutually inclusive but exclusive. And that frustrates me. As I said, maybe this is the wrong train of thought, or maybe this is an inappropriate forum to post this (Delete this if need be). Maybe I'm asking too much from the world - but I can't imagine how much my children, grandchildren and their children will be asked for from the world and then feel that where I am now and what I'm doing will be okay for them.

Not special

replies: 2

It's a pretty common story, nothing special about me and everyone I have ever come in contact with feels the same way. Childhood wasn't great but certainly could have been worse but I've never had a kind or encouraging word from anyone my whole life so wouldn't have a clue what a compliment feels like. Blah so dramatic yuck!! I'm 43 now and cannot stand myself physically or mentally and the worse thing is that I know I don't have it as bad as some so suck it up princess, right, but it's not that simple, it would be better for people in my world if I 'went away' certainly would be better for me but there are some people who would be 'disadvantaged' so I stick around, you know. This sucks, I wish just one person could look me in the eye and tell I was worth something, wasn't ugly wasn't fat, had intelligence....you know as part of my work I give guidance and encouragement to others and I see the smiles on their faces, I know how important is especially when you've never had it

Hello I'm brand new not sure I'm in the correct forum

replies: 2

I have reluctantly been burying my demons for far too long. I suffer from extreme PTSD and Anxiety plus some terminal illnesses and to top it off I woke up approximately 18mths ago paralysed from the waist down (I was ok when I went to bed) I have been learning the basics of walking again. I have not been outside in 14mths and I haven't driven or ridden in over 2yrs. I live alone and have no quality of life, I'm estranged from my 3 adult children I haven't seen my youngest in 16yrs. I miss them terribly and I have realised that I don't know them. It has been cloak and dagger with the other 2 as I couldn't tell the other I was seeing them because if their mother found out she would throw them out. I have given up and stopped taking my medication about 4mths ago, i go to bed hoping that I won't wake up. I have no quality of life and no dignity left as I don't have control of my bowel or bladder. I honestly don't know what else to do. I realise that there isn't a magic pill that solves everything and I don't know if I've left it too late. I would greatly appreciate any feedback. I was in law enforcement and a volunteer fire fighter so I've had to deal with and see things that no person should ever see.

Passive suicidal behaviour

replies: 11

When you dont want your family to know the truth about how you feel or you just want to ensure your family are provided for then passive suicide is what you move into . To increase the risk of harm so that it was an accident is the explanation given.Are passive suicidal thoughts worse than active suicidal thoughts? Because they are so well hidden and masked they are unseen and passed over . When life just is too much ? Thoughts ?

What do I do?

replies: 3

I’ve got panic disorder, ADHD and depression. I have been doing mindfulness, breathing, therapy, changed my antidepressants, going to see my psychiatrist next week for a medication review for the ADHD meds I stopped after having a panic attack that took me to hospital. I’m privileged to be able to do all these things, but I still feel the world will be better without me and I crave to not be here…. i just don’t know where to go from here. I am exhausted and don’t feel like I can fight this anymore.

Depression

replies: 1

Hi look I was married for 20 plus yrs I've been divorced 14.alone not dated nothing started talking to a guy on social media.so after him finally being able to break my walls down his now saying he loves me and now I m questioning it I've been abused in one way or another my whole life this is hurting I still self harm and I don't feel it not only that but I don't want to be here anymore some days are bad I want to just not be around.helo me please.i don't know what to do.

I am heartbroken, angry, conflicted.

replies: 2

Hi everyone (im ok)TW self harm/abortion rights/family issues/estrangement I am currently struggling with some urges that I havent had for years, not since I was suicidal years ago.In the light of recent political events and my own personal medical circumstances, the topic of abortion being healthcare came up at family dinner. Basically, I dont ever want children. I would be an awful parent I am not healed enough mentally, prepared physically or financially and am sure I would not want to bring a child into the world we live in today. I stated that for my own mental health and the sake of preserving my own life, I would not keep a pregnancy if I fell pregnant.I go to every length to prevent pregnancy and am extremely responsible with sex and contraception, but my parents, especially my mother, would see me as a murderer for choosing this for myself and my body. It breaks my heart that my mothers love is conditional to this.If it happened, I would have to keep it a secret and go through the traumatic process alone, or be honest with her and risk becoming disowned/estranged. I am conflicted with my feelings because she is a loving and caring mum in every other way, I wouldnt be here without her support in every other aspect of life and she has saved me many times, but when your confidence in unconditional love from your mum has been shaken for something like this, it is extremely conflicting and devestating. I am angry that she thinks this way, I am guilty that I feel this anger, because shes so supportive and loving in every other way, and I am so incredibly heartbroken. These feelings are so strong I feel pain in my heart, my urges to self harm are back to use as an outlet.I want to be self destructive to ease this pain and anger. I know I have options in my mental toolbelt to de-escelate these urges and feelings.Ive been in therapy for 6 years im not asking for advice on how to talk myself down, I wont act on these urges, but they are back which makes me realise how strongly I feel about this hurt. I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else is going through similar. It feels stupid to feel this extremely on a hypothetical. But you never know when that hypothetical becomes a reality and knowing that I wouldnt have the love or support, so much so that it risks estrangement, it just crushes you. I never thought there was anything I could do that would make her not love me. I never even considered that I could lose my mum in this way.

I’m so tired

replies: 1

I’m just so tired. For a long time I’ve been feeling like I have this dark cloud over me and all I see and feel it’s low. To give an insight it’s like all I see is a world in black and white while everyone sees rainbows. My boyfriend of 5 years doesn’t see me hurting, miserable as and broken. I try to let him in and express how I feel but he just shuts me down, tells me to go see someone and that’s it. Yet with everyone else he’s there listening to them, being a shoulder etc. His dad passed away just recently and I’ve been there for him, he pushes me away but wants everyone else to be his shoulder. His mum blamed everything on me with him doing drugs, not going to work etc. When he was drunk and saying he doesn’t want tobe here she blamed me. She said when I feel “fed up” I’m doing it for attention. I need some help as I just can’t keep going like this and feeling so down. I’m tired of putting on a happy face now

I'm Scared

replies: 3

So I woke up today, people say if you wake up then it's a good day, I'm not convinced. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone about this as yet not even my phycologist, that might change before my next appointment maybe not. I had an episode this morning after waking up where I was laying in bed feeling shit and sorry for myself, feeling worthless, unwanted all the normal feelings. I sat there crying and running through my head all the people that say when they hear that you're going through a tough time just reach out. You know what reaching out is the last thing I feel like doing burdening people with my shit. To be honest if they really cared why wouldn't they pick the phone up or jump in the car and check in, my reasoning is they just don't care. My family that I put so much love into really don't give two shits about me either the grandchildren that I adore wouldn't remember me anyway so all this running through my head the devil on the shoulder telling me fuck it just do it end it all. This time the angels voice was silent so I attempted to do so... it scared the shit out of me and then I stopped myself. I still don't know why I got to this point again or why I stopped myself I just hate where I am and I want it to stop. I'm sick of hearing how I can fix it I just don't have the bloody energy anymore. Thanks for listening.

Without Cause

replies: 1

Hi, I've never put my story out for any to read or have thoughts on except my pyhcologist. I had a work place injury in August of 2022 that required surgery which I had in Feb 23. Between those two dates I started a new job and with the injury came a whole new world of not being able to do anything that I was doing and enjoying previously. I had hobbies like gym, pistol shooting and umpiring AFL not to mention all the household duties you preform without a moments thought. So I found myself in a hole and it was getting worse, I would go into the toilet at work sit there and just cry without reason (in my own mind anyway). This happened a couple of times and I didn't want to think to much about it, then it started happening everyday, then a couple of times a day to the point I couldn't go to work. So my doctor put me on anti depression medication and referred me to a phycologist. There I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder and severe depression, with no capacity to work my new employer let me go in the January of 23 which I couldn't blame them as I couldn't do the job they had hired me to do. I had surgery and was progressing really well until I went to host employer where I unfortunately over did it and re injured the shoulder. I was improving both mentally and physically until this point. The surgeon couldn't operate any further and recommended a shoulder joint replacement. That part of my w/cover claim ceased however I was still being treated for the mental health part as it is a secondary compaonant due to the initial injury. During that time until now I have had 2 episodes (that's what I call them) where I have found myself standing in front of all my pills as I take quite a lot of pills for pain and inflamation along with other drugs for migraine relief and prevention, shaking, crying, and wanting to end my life. I don't know how many other people have had this feeling where it's like the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other but that's how it felt like a big fight between the 2 and so far the angel has won. I have started a new job into my 4th week and I've had 6 days off with stomach issues (stress maybe) doctor has sent me for a lot of tests so not sure what it is yet. Deep down I think since it's been 2 years that I'm just struggling with the whole normality of life and with a few other family issues on top that I also don't know how to handle I'm starting to feel like that hole is opening up and swolling me.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Confusing thoughts. (Delete if need be) replies: 1

Not special replies: 2

Hello I'm brand new not sure I'm in the correct forum replies: 2

Passive suicidal behaviour replies: 11

What do I do? replies: 3

Depression replies: 1

I am heartbroken, angry, conflicted. replies: 2

I’m so tired replies: 1

I'm Scared replies: 3

Without Cause replies: 1