Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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I don't know where my thoughts come from or how to escape them

replies: 2

Hi. I've never posted on a Beyond Blue forum before, nor have I really reached out for professional psychological help either. I've seen my GP once to get a mental health plan, but I've never actually used it. I don't know why exactly, maybe a combination of helplessness and laziness. I'd also like to say I'd normally consider myself a really upbeat and joyful person, and that is why I don't know how to traverse these feelings. I'm 21 and studying Criminology and Data Analytics at university. I'm enjoying it, but I have had to stop and start my degree so many times now that I feel absolutely useless. I get insane imposter syndrome, constantly thinking that when, if I even do graduate, I'm gonna be completely unemployable because there are so many better people than me. I have a government job interview coming up and can't stop thinking that I'm not going to get the role because I'm in over my head. The last year and a bit has been rough for me. I've had a medical episode (not related to my mental health), and barely made any money after having to leave a job that I really enjoyed because they shut down at the start of 2025. I've been stuck in a loop of working in hospitality bar and pub jobs. It's absolutely draining. I hate the hours, I hate the work, the people I'm working with are nice enough but there is just a vibe around hospitality venues that I can't shake off. It makes me feel unbelievably miserable. God I fucking hate it so much. I'd take a retail job back in a heartbeat but I can't seem to catch a break in the rejection emails I get when I apply to a retail role. At night time I get pretty regular suicidal thoughts. Not violent thoughts, I don't want to harm myself at all, but the feeling of absolute freedom that suicide provides me is dangerously comforting. I've never attempted or even humoured the thought of attempting, though. I love my family, and the last thing I'd want is for my mom, dad or brother to find out what happened to me. Hell, even my dog. But I've had these thoughts for a while now. I thought they would pass but they seem to have lingered and gotten more consistent. I think primarily my biggest issue right now is how much I hate my job, but I know these thoughts extend to something deeper that I can't identify. I really struggle with the idea of going to a psychologist though. I don't know why. I don't know why I posted this. Thanks if you read it.

Don’t understand my feelings

replies: 1

Lately everything has been very hard to deal with.. I have these moments when my brain is just like, I can’t believe this and I don’t want to be in this kind of world anymore. That living is just so hard and scary and that my anxiety can’t take it anymore. I used to be so resilient but now I’m more affected somehow. I don’t want to do anything fun, scared to drink an alcohol beverage for no reason.. just silly things. Like going out with my husband to the city soon for our anniversary I’m so anxious about it and I don’t understand. I hate feeling this way because it’s scary. I just have no energy anymore

I don’t know what to do anymore.

replies: 1

Hey there, I’m just gonna call myself J, I’m 16. I’m currently living out of home by myself, without a job, and no study. I feel so meaningless in life. I was living with my mum, but couldn’t handle the guilt tripping and arguments everyday and my dad is a million times worse. I’ve struggled with Self Harm for a few years now but it’s got significantly worse as of late. I don’t know what to do, I struggle immensely with my self image and have continuously struggled with eating and forcing myself to throw up whilst eating very little. I’ve tried to reach out, and sobbed to my parents about my struggles but my Dad screamed in myself that I make myself a victim and that I’m weak. I don’t know who to talk to or how to talk to anyone about this situation. I have literally no one in my life and feel to ashamed when I want to self harm to call and talk to anyone about it.

Can't do this anymore

replies: 5

I don't feel safe at Mother's house. I tried telling my dad, but I texted him on my friend's phone and he thought it was my friend. I can't go to the police because they might not believe me. I don't think my Dad loves me anymore and my Mother is hurting me verbally and psychologically. I've had episodes where I can't control my body and it just wanders around and I feel that one day it's going to commit suicide for me and most of the time I can't remember what happened in these episodes. I see things and I hear things that aren't there and that no one else sees or hears and they tell me that my Mother is going to kill me. I can't sleep at night because the thoughts of suicide and the voices are too loud. I can't tell my friends but I need to tell my friends. The tape I so desperately put on the shards of my life is losing it's grip and I don't have any more tape. All I can do is watch as the pieces fall and shatter into tinier pieces waiting for someone to try and fix it and cut themselves. What do I do? I can't keep going through this loop. Again, and again, and again, it's all the same. What's the point of waking up to a new day when it's just the same as yesterday? My world is colourless but no matter how much paint I splash onto it, it stays the same. Same. Same. Same. I get so close to calling Lifeline, but then I back away because what if they call the police? What if the police put me in a foster home? What if the police don't believe me and place me with my Mother? I don't think anyone can help me now. I'm stuck in a hole at the bottom of the sea and no matter what I do I can't swim out. I'm scared but I'm scared of myself. The voices tell me the police won't believe me. The voices tell me no one will believe me. The voices tell me I'm stupid for thinking someone would. My happy hallucinations I once had can't comfort me anymore. What do I do? My friends can't help me. My dad can't help me. My family can't help me. Not even I can help myself. Because I lose consciousness and forget everything that happened. I'm surprised I'm even posting this because I'm worried Beyond Blue will send the police and everyone will hate me and the voices will laugh at me and call me a coward for not saying anything when it first happened. This is all getting too much. I just need peace and quiet and my dad to love me again and for everything to go back to the way it was when the voices were nicer and quieter and when my hallucinations still worked.

Instant rage and anger

replies: 2

Hey all, I suffered a workplace assualt and psychological injury 6 years ago. As a result I have been diagnosed with Adjustment disorder and PTSD. I have fortnightly therapy and a psychiatrist. I have worked with cognitive behaviour therapy and talk therapy.I have struggled to find medication that works for me personally and I feel rather alone and at dispare.Late last year I had a attack where I got verbally aggressive and lost control since I have had several other but smaller. Recently I had another where I was extremely ashamed of my behaviour, I was uncontrollable It scared me terribly and my teenage daughter, who unfortunately seemed to be my trigger lately. I feel terrible and ashamed to admit that. Her lack of remorse, eye rolling and laughing when I'm angry makes my blood boil. I've now realised that this feeling is anger and rage at a really disproportionate level.I'm scared of my self, I'm scared I'm destroying my family, I feel extremely alone tired and sore and worst of all ashame. My behaviour needs to stop and I really need to take back control to be the mum and wife I want to be. Can anyone tell me anything they have done to control this instant aggressive uncontrollable rage episode before they begin. Thanks in advance

I can't stop hurting myself

replies: 2

it's kinda weird because I don't necessarily feel depressed. I know what it feels like to be depressed or really depressed to the point where I feel the need to feel something real but right now, I genuinely don't feel depressed and yet I find myself... View more

Suicidal thoughts and anger

replies: 1

I've been dealing with anxiety and depr

i think its Over

replies: 1

All i do is think about my appearance, and wish I was as beautiful as my friend. People say we look very alike and identical but I feel absolutely inferior, Like a lessened version of her. I shamefully feel threatened when people who are attracted to me or find me pretty see her because I know they think she’s prettier. I feel like those people just settle for me. And i have been struggling financially as well. I feel like a nuisance to everybody around me. I just wish I was beautiful. I know beauty comes in all shapes and sizes but I have none of it at all and I feel like in my situation i should have at least something. Even at school i only feel tolerated, not wanted now that my close friends left. The remaining girls are nice and talk to me and laugh with me but I feel unneeded and unwanted in their vicinity. All i do at school is feel unwanted ugly depressed and envious. And at home it is worse. I dont take care of myself and I am ashamed of the way I live. It feels so insanely unfair that this is the life I have been given. And when i talk about it all i get is ‘Be grateful, people have less’. Respectfully I dont care about anybody else. All i have been is selfless and putting people above me. I put myself down just because other people are uncomfortable by my successes even when I feel so low of myself already. For once I want to be able to be selfish and get things for myself too. My dreams are about feeling ugly, jealous, afraid , etc, I cant find comfort even in my sleep. but I pretend to everybody else that I’m happier than ever because all people see me do is laugh and smile. I am beyond miserable

I need help and guidance

replies: 4

Hi, I've been going through a lot of things for the past decade, and things got worse during high school. I am out of high school now but things are still so overwhelming. My parents are unsupportive and they don't believe that my depression is real, or that my self-harm and anxiety is real either. I've been trying to help myself for years but recently I've just gotten so exhausted. Because I migrated twice, I have no deep long term connections. My partner was the only one who showed up when things got really bad, but they have no idea what they're doing either and they rely on me to tell them what to do. I guess I just need advice. I've been trying to learn how to regulate myself, learning the next steps, and not burdening other people. Now I'm just tired.

wishing i was dead and just sharing about how i feel about life

replies: 27

i am not sure how to use this forum. i dont want to post anything into a public forum which might be wrong to post. i want to tell anyone how i am feeling and what i have been thinking about. but i realise that some or much of my life situation might be my own fault. maybe im not strong enough or motivated enough to keep myself well and handling life. i get sad and i worry about life. many have worries about money and how to pay for everything that life might throw at us. i dont want everything to be about money and i am unsure but thinking that other struggles are happening to. as the title says i wish i was dead. have wished for this for many years. but i guess here i am just trying to talk about why and what i feel like. i guess i just feel like life can be to difficult to handle sometimes. it feels like very often or even everyday. im sorry if not text not laid out well. was going to be all one paragraph until i tried to split things up. all this in this post might be to much stuff. i feel like i have so much to say but not sure if it is ok to say it all here. i have tried to talking to lifeline and beyond blue about how i have been feeling. i tried quite a bit of working, volunteering and doing some study during my 20s and 30s. there was enough problems during doing these things. having always had trouble working etc might affect how much money is available. maybe i dont trust people. maybe i feel like i cant handle people and problems. maybe i am worried that i will not be able to handle much of what life throws at us at different times. just the last few weeks, i have been worried about anything that could and does happen in life. i have not felt ok. i have felt sad. have had problems getting along with family for a long time. and even just the last few months have had to little to no contact with family. my family would be currently only 3 people. i only have a few friends. i am feeling guilty now for wishing my life was over. i have felt this way because my life feels like it has been to much worry and sadness etc. i am worried if i will be handle anything and everything that might happen in life. i try to avoid people quite often because obv it seems easier to avoid. i dont feel like i get on well with people and i feel like i cant handle people and problems. there might or might not often be problems. i wanted to use this to share thoughts and feelings. but im not sure it is going ok.

Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section replies: 0

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

I don't know where my thoughts come from or how to escape them replies: 2

Don’t understand my feelings replies: 1

I don’t know what to do anymore. replies: 1

Can't do this anymore replies: 5

Instant rage and anger replies: 2

I can't stop hurting myself replies: 2

Suicidal thoughts and anger replies: 1

i think its Over replies: 1

I need help and guidance replies: 4

wishing i was dead and just sharing about how i feel about life replies: 27