Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Benign Fasciculation Disorder - Hopelessness

replies: 15

Hi I'm Cindy and I am posting in here because I didn't know where else to post this. I am suffering from what I believe is Benign Fasciculation Disorder. It is an unknown disorder with what looks to be no treatment or no recovery (it will either go away, or it won't). It's a 'harmless' disorder that consists of twitching of the muscles 24/7. It might not be considered harmful but it is mentally draining, annoying and prevents me from sleeping at night with non-stop twitching. I've had this for 7 weeks now, insidious onset. No idea why it started. Doctors can't help me. I've had blood tests and my blood levels are fine. I am not Magnesium or other minerals deficient. They don't think it's MS or ALS. They say I'm 100% healthy. Doctors perscribe muscle relaxants to 'stop' the twitching at night but I'd rather not take them as they cause addiction, depression and other unwanted side affects. I have no idea if Anxiety, physical activity, stress etc causes it or if it just 'does it'. Some days it lets me sleep at night, other times it doesn't. I live day to day in fear of whether or not I'm going to get a good night's sleep. If I feel a twitch I panic. If I don't get a good nights sleep my mental health drops. I become hopeless and have thoughts of suicide. Hopelessness being "well no-one knows what it is, no-one can cure me, I might be like this forever. No one knows, no-one can relate, there's no hope, what's the point?" I'm trying Physio at the moment but even the Physio can only guess. I'm doing all these exercises which I think are not helping. They are just causing twitching in other areas of my body that I didn't have before. Now I have back discomfort from it. Yes it stopped a bunch of twitching in the knee area of my thigh, but now other areas of the same thigh are twitching. I'm here to find out if there are others with this condition and if so, what do you do at night to help you sleep through the twitching? I can deal with it throughout the day but not at night. I need to sleep!

Comorbid mental health

replies: 1

Hi. Ive never done anything like this but here goes. Looking for people with similar experiences that maybe have Bipolar and Dissociative identity disorder.. Ive got a long list of diagnosis and have been medicated for a bit over a year. sometimes I forget to take my medication. just one of those things. Despite the medication I am far from cured. Due to having many conflicting issues it is difficult to treat. I can see when im spiralling and when things are getting bad. My issue is reaching out for help. No-one understands or can relate. Im just looking for someone who may have spiralled down into their depressive state. Dissociated and have hurt themselves as a result. maybe im a little scared as I have never been in this state before and scared of myself. Logically I know that it wasn't something that I should've done however the other me was stronger at that time. And I was just a paralysed bystander watching while other me was in control. I don't often dissociate to this degree. It's a rare occurrence. but it seems each time is worse when it does happen.

Recovered and enjoying life

replies: 2

Hello all It was been more than 2 years since I attempted to take my own life and I thought I'd drop by to let you know that I have fully recovered and am enjoying life again. In May 2022, following my attempt, I was diagnosed with caregiver burnout. My adult son, who has autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II was still living at home. He is now in supported NDIS accommodation, and I am really enjoying having the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I had also been looking after my elderly parents. Mum had been thrown into psychotic depression from the Covid Lockdowns here in Melbourne and was a hospital admission. Dad had undiagnosed mild Alzheimer's and i hate to think how hard it was for Mum looking after him on her own. Long story short being a sandwich carer was just too much. Mum went into care in late 2021 and Dad followed soon after. I was falling into a carer role with Mum and ultimately, it's what did me in. My brother has taken on the carer role, and I am now able to just be her daughter. Dad, sadly, passed away a few weeks ago but he was 89 and it was peaceful, so I'm ok. I did all my grieving during 2021 while supporting him at home while Mum was in hospital. Bottom line, I accepted help and counselling following by a few months of therapy with a senior psychologist helped me enormously. I made a full recovery and got on with my life. Such help is vital if we are to recover from such a profound experience. Today I find it hard to imagine that I ever felt that bad. But I did. I ended up writing a book entitled, "Behind the shield of a strong facade: A suicidal crisis". Thanks for reading.

Disability and Depression

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm 17, I was born with a disability (a hand and arm difference that all in all affects me very little physically in life), I went on exchange last year to France, I am an academic student who is about to commence VCE and aiming for a high ATAR to get into law, science, commerce, global studies or whatever else, and I just feel like I don't have the right to live. Despite my privilege (growing up in a wealthy area with stable food, housing and education), I struggle to find jobs and experience due to my disability (even though I am perfectly capable of performing the job even without adjustments), some teachers speak to me as though I'm stupider than my classmates and don't treat me like a functioning human. I can't shake this feeling that I am less of a human than others and that I was just born wrong. Teachers treat me like a burden when I want equality and I have been told that I can just miss out because of my disability. I feel like a failed genetic mutation, and I worry about putting any potential future children through the same thing as me. I had to have surgery to "fix" me as an infant and I really just feel like I shouldn't exist. I would be in an asylum a few hundred years ago, and I wouldn't survive natural selection. I feel like my life is a burden to others who are abled bodied because it's sometimes treated as one, especially when I don't conform with standards and speak up. I don't want to die but I feel as though my teachers and strangers sometimes believe I should and sometimes believe my parents would be happier or better off if I was just normal. I'm fighting a relentless battle for equality, I feel like I have to prove my right to exist everyday and I'm so tired. I'm wondering when my breaking point will be, because I feel like I'm just waiting for it to arrive.

Suicidality and perimenopause

replies: 150

Has anyone else experienced severe suicidality in relation to perimenopause? Did anything particular help? There is apparently a strong association for some women. I had a major drop in oestrogen a year ago resulting in severe anxiety/depression/suicidal ideation then. It’s re-occurring now. I have complicating factors of c-ptsd and complicated grief. Saturday was the anniversary of my mother’s sudden and distressing death. I was extremely bad on Friday and early Saturday. I’ve been calling helplines and had some practical help. It helps regulate me for a few hours then I start to disintegrate again. It’s a feeling of totally failing apart. I do have a psych appointment on Thursday and I’ve booked a counselling appointment with the Australian menopause society as well. HRT may help but I have to look at how it will interact with my liver disease which can be a complicating factor. It’s a rare disease and not well understood or even known about by most medical practitioners. I just feel totally overwhelmed.

I am not ok

replies: 6

I have had enough

Maybe help should come in a different approach

replies: 12

61 years and I'm still here but what is the point, its not going to improve, I feel certain 61 years of this mongrel depression has proved that and I'm so tired of it, tired of everything that goes with it, like the guilt that you just want to be dead but everyone telling you " no you don't, just hang in there, reach out, there is help if you just reach out" for many that may be true, but for so many of us reaching out has been a nightmare that only made a bad situation worse, for many of us it is just going to be an endless painful struggle till at last our numbers up, so how does it make sense to "just hold on" what would make more sense is legalize assisted suicide, so us hopeless cases could leave this world in a humane painless, no fuss or mess way, not for those who can be got past a rocky patch and will come good but those of us that will never be free from Depression it would really help. It would be great to have a legal team as part of it to help get your affairs in order so as not to leave a mess for loved ones when they least can cope with all the rig mer roll that comes with death. I know a lot of people will think this is horrid as they feel life is precious and what I would give to feel that way, I did once when 1 med worked for years, life was great and i wish I could get that back but the medication stopped working and 45 ECT's, countless combinations of medications, therapy, TMS and positive thinking has done nothing to bring it back. Depression really really sucks and I'm really really tired of fighting an unwinnable battle

Help

replies: 2

I'm about to lose my house, I haven't been able to work for three years because of an unidentified breakdown of skin on my hands and severe depression and possible undiagnosed schizophrenia/personality disorder, psychosocial maladaption, my gp won't support my tpd claim with GESB, my superannuation and I think my sons would be better off eithout me, at least I can leave them my home. I have no family, friends or social contacts for years now. My mother is a narcissistic megalomaniac who is violent, aggressive, abusive and coercively controlling, if I could sue her I would. All four of her children are unemployable, without relationships and in poverty, all on disability payments while she ponces around like royalty, deluded, in her stable home she battered her now deceased third husband into giving her. In a few weeks I will have money from the sale of my home and nowhere to go - itinerant. Accessing my tpd insurance and early super would change that but the "system" is watching me fall through the cracks and thinking nothing of it, only after will they lookback. I am living proof - a red flag - ignored. Bias, presumption and judgement have clouded my gp's decision making, the specialists are no different and there is no mental health support out there at all. This is the system broken. Only when it's too late, someone might consider what else could have been done. With all this right in front of their eyes, as clear as the nose on their face, only when it's over might they reconsider their poor decisions. Too late. Learn now! I have been using medicinal drugs and it's made things worse - a big step backward for its efficacy, not to mention the social stigma and isolation. I have not left my home nor seen anyone for years now, sleeping on my couch, temporary, on the way out, with a biological family revelling in the drama and my demise. Can you sue parents? My mother's gp has carved her up but never treated her twisted, abusive, controlling, perverted and angry nature, well hidden in short consultations. Despite contacts with services and waiting lists for assessment, I am just one person of millions. I have lost everything and see a future of more loneliness and suffering. I convince myself selling my home and starting again is better than ending it. An itinerant. What's the difference.

Nervous breakdown

replies: 7

I'm not really sure what to post here, in 2017 I went through a Divorce and my little girl was moved 400 kms away from me to a regional town. I tried to kill myself, failing I sold off everything owned including my house, paid out my ex wife and moved to be closer to her my daughter so I could see her more. I've since moved again to a tiny somewhat remote town and work a job i dont like. We have been in a custody battle for 4 years which has taken all of our savings and I haven't seemed to be able to get a win. I'm tired, broken and out of energy. I feel like a burden on my wife and I find no joy in getting out of bed, in fact I no longer want to get out of bed

I’m struggling with mental health but don’t have severe trauma

replies: 1

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression, but I’m really struggling. I try to talk to peers about it but I most in similar situations have some huge trauma they went through in their life, but my childhood and everything was fairly normal. I don’t know why I’m struggling and it feels like I’m overreacting or doing it to myself. Maybe I am, idk. I just don’t understand why I feel the way I do as most seem to have some kind of clear trauma that lead them to feel the way they do, I don’t mean to sound self absorbed as I understand that trauma like they go through must be absolutely horrific and I sympathise a lot. But I feel like I’m drowning but I don’t know how to swim.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Benign Fasciculation Disorder - Hopelessness replies: 15

Comorbid mental health replies: 1

Recovered and enjoying life replies: 2

Disability and Depression replies: 2

Suicidality and perimenopause replies: 150

I am not ok replies: 6

Maybe help should come in a different approach replies: 12

Help replies: 2

Nervous breakdown replies: 7

I’m struggling with mental health but don’t have severe trauma replies: 1