Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 92

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Ann_Pseudo Non-suicidal self harm over 50
  • replies: 2

Hi all. First time poster here. I scared myself yesterday.I am not suicidal. Yesterday I was feeling a super-combo of anxious, depressed, sad, mad and angry, including mostly angry at myself and I impulsively hit my head. I now have a floater in my e... View more

Hi all. First time poster here. I scared myself yesterday.I am not suicidal. Yesterday I was feeling a super-combo of anxious, depressed, sad, mad and angry, including mostly angry at myself and I impulsively hit my head. I now have a floater in my eye and am going to the optometrist today to check that it's just a floater and not retinal detachment. I feel nervous about having to lie to the optometrist but am more worried about how I got to this point. How it got this bad this quickly. I need help to change my life circumstances and way I react to things I know, but for now, I am alone in this bit. I simply cannot bring myself to tell anyone I know that I've hurt myself. Any advice would be appreciated.. even to know I'm not alone in this type of experience... thankyou

GhedTremby Help in seeking help
  • replies: 3

I've been having dark though and sort of acted on them in the past. How do I get help and support when I'm afraid to go to the hospital or use the beyond blue online councillor. Ps I do have autism and communication issues

I've been having dark though and sort of acted on them in the past. How do I get help and support when I'm afraid to go to the hospital or use the beyond blue online councillor. Ps I do have autism and communication issues

Cron_Crust Thoughts about self-harm, past struggle with suicidality
  • replies: 2

Hi, So I'd like to preface this by saying that I have really struggled with speaking candidly about my suicidal thoughts. But recently, I witnessed someone speak about their addiction before an audience and I really admire their strength so I'd like ... View more

Hi, So I'd like to preface this by saying that I have really struggled with speaking candidly about my suicidal thoughts. But recently, I witnessed someone speak about their addiction before an audience and I really admire their strength so I'd like to replicate that to the degree that I'm comfortable with in my own life. Apparently my comfort zone only allows anonymity so I'll roll with that, I guess... I have been diagnosed with depression and have struggled with it since the age of 11. I have always downplayed my struggle because I didn't want people to pity me or worry too much. And to some extent, I never been able to truly allow myself to acknowledge my struggle because I have a cushy life. My parents have good jobs and on the surface everything is perfect. I have a close relationship with my mother who has always welcomed me to be vulnerable and talk about my struggles, I have been reminded by members of my social circle that this kind of relationship with an immigrant parent of my cultural background is like having struck gold and it is quite true. I am incredibly grateful and that's part of the reason I feel like I am spoiled and perhaps haven't faced much in life and maybe I'm complaining when I should be thankful for how loved and cherished I am. Onto my suicidality, I often fantasise about suicide and how I would do it. Because I am worthless. I deeply hate myself. I am ashamed to say that I came close to self-harming last year. I have so many reasons to hate myself that I often wonder what it is that is holding me back. Is it family? Friends? Or my cowardice? All I see when I look in the mirror is someone who is undeserving of her life. To add to my amazingly low self-esteem, is the fact that I am not straight. Queer is the label I prefer but bisexual also works. I'm from a Christian family so I would literally be a social pariah if I ever came out. I can't really imagine myself in a relationship and I also identify as ace to an extent. I also like being christian and my religion's teachings do resonate with me so that complicates things infinitesimally. Anyway, the word count allows no more ramblings for this post so...

rocketman__ no life direction
  • replies: 3

im kinda stuck. like i was stationary in my life, then i got going, and then i got stuck. iv have seen people talk about how hard they have it and i think and i unreasonable for telling myself im struggling. i have been suicidal for almost 2 years no... View more

im kinda stuck. like i was stationary in my life, then i got going, and then i got stuck. iv have seen people talk about how hard they have it and i think and i unreasonable for telling myself im struggling. i have been suicidal for almost 2 years now and nobody knows. i have social anxiety, weather its severe, disorder or nothing, i dont know but i know i am hopeless in social surroundings. i umpire in local afl but in the goal but i would like to be a field umpire. im way to anxious to talk to players and make decisions that they wont like. i dream of being one though. i dream of being an extravert. i never had a girlfriend and i always dreamt of being so confident like the other guys. since graduating school i have struggled with friendships and the anxiety has gotten worse. when covid started i started writing music and i want to be a full time musician some day. but recently i lost interest in music all together and i cant understand why. im exhausted all the time now. i mean i did just get a job, but that didnt help my happiness. idk if depression or anxiety or im just an idiot for thinking i have problems. how long can one last whilst silently suffering. not long i suspect

leakay Sad and unhappy
  • replies: 3

I separated from my husband 4 months ago after I ended our marriage of 8 years due to his anger and aggression. I feel extremely lost, sad and have bad thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. I’m normally a fun loving person who laughs smiles and... View more

I separated from my husband 4 months ago after I ended our marriage of 8 years due to his anger and aggression. I feel extremely lost, sad and have bad thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. I’m normally a fun loving person who laughs smiles and loves life. I’m finding just the simple things hard to do, like looking after the house, cooking, eating and doing everything that I normally love about life. I feel like my husband has passed away and I’m grieving. How do I overcome this struggle, I’m normally strong and full of life.

Dagony Scared of religion and suicide thoughts
  • replies: 3

My name is Aaron I had a huge anxiety attack at least 6 years ago about being on the earth and fear it will fall ( I'm scared of heights and falling) and it started with me praying to God to help me and I started doing praying rituals and OCD stuff a... View more

My name is Aaron I had a huge anxiety attack at least 6 years ago about being on the earth and fear it will fall ( I'm scared of heights and falling) and it started with me praying to God to help me and I started doing praying rituals and OCD stuff about touching stuff 6 years later the ritual that involves praying has gotten out of control I need to do it absolutely perfect or I do it again Some things I can't do cause I worry it will offend god and I will be sent to hell and burn It's made me lose interest in music and gaming and anything else I enjoy doing Cause everytime I do something I have to do it in a set of rules so I don't offend god and he will make me have to do my praying ritual I have to do my ritual after I've had sex with anyone I'm now married and even if I do it with my wife I still have to do the ritual It started as me being a Christian but now it's making its own rules up I have to follow or il be thrown into my worst nightmares I'm getting off a medication now cause my psychiatrist thought it was OCD how my family and psychologist thing it's really bad anxiety My psychiatrist thinks it's ADHD and wants to start me on ADHD medication however my family and psychologist think I don't have ADHD so I'm getting a second opinion soon My mum recently passed away she was my best friend and a huge support with all my mental issues These days I just don't see the point in going on when everything i enjoy is infested with rules and triggers I have a wife and a son and I want to live for them but I just can't do it anymore I'm to scared to commit suicide cause I'm scared il burn in hell But going on just seems pointless when I don't have any joy or happiness life seems pointless I normally just watch tv or sleep all day I get annoyed at people who try and get me to do stuff and I know it's not their fault I just can't help it Life just feels pointless now Just wanted to share my little story and seek opinions Hope you're having a good day

alexis123 self harm is out of control
  • replies: 2

I’m really struggling with my self harm whenever i’m anxious it seems to be the only thing to calm me down, i’ve tried so many different techniques before doing it but it’s the only thing i've found so far that helps and i just don’t know what to do,... View more

I’m really struggling with my self harm whenever i’m anxious it seems to be the only thing to calm me down, i’ve tried so many different techniques before doing it but it’s the only thing i've found so far that helps and i just don’t know what to do, i do it so much now that i can’t wear anything but pants and long sleeves, my friends told me it was gross and ugly to look at it.

HopelessLes I have run out of hope
  • replies: 110

Background info: M, 40y/o. I live with my Mum; we both have complex health issues that are NOT being adequately managed by our doctors. *I had to pare this post down to 2500 characters from over 7000. A LOT of detail has been lost* I am suffering fro... View more

Background info: M, 40y/o. I live with my Mum; we both have complex health issues that are NOT being adequately managed by our doctors. *I had to pare this post down to 2500 characters from over 7000. A LOT of detail has been lost* I am suffering from a condition that appears likely to be Narcolepsy type II. I also have several other physical and mental health problems. My main symptom is a permanently reduced level of wakefulness/alertness. This has gradually worsened over 27 years. Until two years ago it was relatively manageable. Last year a Sleep Specialist suddenly stopped the only medication that had been helping me a little. She COULD have done this in a kind and understanding way but she deliberately made things as traumatic as possible. I had already been suffering from Demoralisation Disorder due to previous stressful incidents with doctors; the incident last year has caused full-on PTSD. I CONSTANTLY relive that situation, dozens and dozens of times a day. And it gets stronger and stronger... I am supposed to be caring for my Mum, especially as her health is deteriorating also, but she is looking after me more and more and it is draining the little health and strength she had left. I feel so TERRIBLE. Before Dad passed away, he made me promise I'd look after Mum. That was the only thing he asked of me. And I can no longer do it. I am a failure. An absolute failure. The final straw came last week when I had an appointment with another Sleep Specialist to get the results of my recent Sleep Study. He gaslighted me and said there's nothing wrong. I give up. Nobody listens and nobody cares. Nothing works. I can't get any answers, I can't get any help. I have tried nearly twenty antidepressants with ABSOLUTELY no benefit from any of them - probably because my problems are neurological and psychological, not psychiatric. I've been feeling suicidal and don't feel very supported by my healthcare professionals. I cannot tell my Mum how I feel as she is very religious and I know she would not react well. My current state of mind is ABSOLUTELY hopeless. All I want is to feel OK again. But every day things get worse... I have lost everything. I used to be smart. I used to be good at solving problems. But not any more. My brain is dying more and more each day. I do not understand why I can not get help. I have tried SO HARD, for SO LONG... and all for nothing. I am done.

GB3000 Correctional Services toxic workplace
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I’d like to tell you my story of how I was a victim of workplace bullying. I worked for the department of correctional services in a high security prison. I have been with the department for well over 7 years and have seen some very inte... View more

Hi everyone, I’d like to tell you my story of how I was a victim of workplace bullying. I worked for the department of correctional services in a high security prison. I have been with the department for well over 7 years and have seen some very interesting things. I’m a 6 ft 31 year old man of aboriginal heritage. During my years with the service, I have been assaulted, threatened to be killed, have had piss and shit thrown at me, all these things have happened to me but I accepted it as part of my job, dealing with the worst of society. But nothing has brought me to my knees as bad as being victim to cruel and inhumane workplace bullying at the hands of my work colleagues. Just recently my ex girlfriend had taken her life due to circumstances I can’t comment on and it’s left me in a state of grief, thoughts of whether I’m to blame for her demise and could I have done more to help her. I had found some sort of level of peace and had come to terms with it after a few months. Until one day, I decided to have lunch at the staff, the first time I have been to the staff mess since the passing of my ex. I was sitting down enjoying a nice hot bowl of soup when my supervisor walks in. He immediately begins to crack his jokes and dark humour, takes one look over at me and says “Geez mate, you’ve got a pretty shit track record of women” and I pause and say “How’s that mate? To which he replies “Well you’ve gotten one pregnant and ya last one killed herself” those words completely breached my thick skin and cut into my soul, it was as if I was glued to my seat, I couldn’t move I couldn’t speak when all I wanted to do was get up and leave. To end this conversation my supervisor laughs and said “I bet you raped her to? I was In complete and utter shock! I knew this man for 7 years of my working career in corrections, he was like a mentor, a friend, a brother whom I had confided in during the loss of my ex. He used it all against me to grandstand himself in front of all our peers at the staff mess. I wrote him up the next day which is a cardinal sin according to the Blue shirt code. It still hasn’t given me peace and has caused nothing but anxiety and worry! I can’t sleep and I’m not eating, I feel so on edge all the time. I’m hoping this investigation will give me clarity. Thank you for allowing me to voice this story. Anyone else have a similar story?

MYL6 Young daughter has self-harm activities and suicide thought constantly.
  • replies: 2

My daughter is 13 yrs old. Late last year, she had a bully from a dancing teacher aid. Then her temper has changed a lot within this half year. She is ok at school, but eaily getting mad at home. From early this year, we have found serveral cutting s... View more

My daughter is 13 yrs old. Late last year, she had a bully from a dancing teacher aid. Then her temper has changed a lot within this half year. She is ok at school, but eaily getting mad at home. From early this year, we have found serveral cutting scars on her arm, and discovered that she has suicide thought for a while. At the moment, she is struggling with night sleep, and always worries about her body weight. We have tried to ask for some help, but she is reluctant to see any phycologist for support. She is not sharing anything with parents, and always lock her up in her room when she is not happy. Recently she had a big argument with me (dad) and does not want to talk to me anymore. We dont know how to handle this situation and look forward to your immediate help. Thanks.