Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Overwhelmed and drowning

replies: 2

I am overwhelmed and drowning I have tried reaching out but I can’t even pay people to help me and my “friends” who are actually acquaintances just berate me. Let me be clear; I am NOT suicidal BUT I wish I was, I am exhausted and I am DONE! Life keeps on kicking me (don’t tell me other people are worse off because I don’t care) I’m tired of having to restart- I followed ALL THE RULES! Why am I being punished for being wrong? Being born wasn’t my fault I KNOW I’m not supposed to be here

Parents ignoring issues

replies: 3

Hi all.I'm a teenage girl with a sister not very far apart in age from me. Between the last 2/3 years I've really been struggling with my mental health. I saw a therapist for a while who immediately told my parents that I had depression after our first few sessions. I know this because she told me and asked what I'd like to do in terms of the future with this. She offered anti-depressants and I told her that if these would help, I'd like to go on them, however, my parents strongly opposed and refused to talk to me about it. All I know is that my Mum doesn't believe in medication and my Dad completely doesn't really believe in mental health. He definitely has his own issues which he refuses to see a therapist for. However, around halfway through last year my sister began struggling with her mental health. I could see all the signs which I saw happening to myself and I really tried to help her. She was irritable all the time and cared a lot less about life. I found sh tools in her room which I threw out without telling her I found. (I was also and still do sh) When my parents found out about her struggling with her mental health, they promptly took her to a therapist who gave her medication. After this I was finding myself really irritated by this situation because when I was going through the same thing, they didn't intervene and I suffered in silence. I was better for a few months where I was clean from sh. Then my sister started struggling and it reminded me how my mental health was neglected. Then I fell back into the pit with no guidance. I can tell that my Dad at least favors my sister over me because she's always been sportier and more aligned to his interests. Whenever I talk to my Dad, it always turns into a lecture of some sort. We went on a holiday for a month and my mental health took a steep decline. I was constantly arguing with my family for things my sister would do which I'd get blamed for. There was point where I was really struggling and critiqued constantly by my family for being lazy. I'm just so angry about this situation. I feel so neglected and as though my family doesn't care about me or love me as much as my sister. Does anyone have any guidance?

Please help

replies: 1

My friends say I'm depressed and I try to deny it, but I'm starting to think they're right, because I think down on myself and have thought about ending it before. They said I should get help, but I don't want my parents to know about this, can someb... View more

I can't help it but feel helpless.

replies: 1

During my time in highschool, I've always thought everything would go well. But of course it won't always go well. This year, I've been attending my classes and tried my hardest to study. Until, lightning just kept striking me every single day. My class isn't exactly the brightest... I've been experiencing situations which causes me to have low self-esteem, depression, lack of self-confidence, and refusing to do specific activities. That's what helplessness feels like, and it's caused by my classmates. Yes, of course I have reached for support to change classes. I've talked to 2 Dean Of Students/Assistant, emailed the principal, talked to my friends to support me, and my TG (tutor group/homeroom) teachers. However, none of them could help.. or were prioritising someone else. I've been crying more than usual at home and school and not wanting to go to my friends due to the fact I didn't want to seem attention-seeking. I thought of coping methods such as self-harm. Though, how is it even gonna solve my problems... No one's there to help anymore and I can only rely on nothing but share my thoughts here. I lack so much motivation for learning due to my classmates being real jerks. My ears would burst just listening to EVERY ONE OF THEIR VOICES because of how disruptive they are. Not to mention they manipulate the teachers and try to "get along" and "bond" with the teachers to get their soft side. Honestly, I can't even learn at this school anymore. My school doesn't permit racism, yet it does at the same time!? I hate this, why do I meet harder paths unintentionally? Nothing's fair.. nothing's justified... nothing can help me fix all these problems. No one helps me. I don't think anyone I know is willing to... why am I living this unjustified life? I've failed to get a grip, failed to become better... That was my goal too... I've even failed my goal, failed to learn easier, failed to stand up for myself, failed to get help...

Where to from here?

replies: 7

I grew up with the end goal of never living past 27, and now I am almost 31 and that scares me. I never made plans, never anticipated living this long. I moved from one country to another in hopes I could find a drive, make a plan, find a life, but it’s been a lonely existence here. Making friends - genuine friends - is hard in another country. My sense of humour is dark, my many different jobs have also been dark, and I find myself more alone than I’ve ever been. I find it hard to connect with people when the things I have seen makes me not want to waste time on superficial conversation. I just wish I could make a deep and meaningful connection. I wish I could just put the rose-tinted glasses back on and pretend that my life isn’t mundane, or for nothing. I wake up, I go to work where I sit on my own for eight hours a day, I go home and sleep - repeat. I try to get past my fear of people by going to local events, but frankly I’m so scared. People leave, and I stay where I am. I feel I am just existing. I have nothing to show for my life. No career goals, debt, friends that are in another country with their own lives to lead, people who left when they garnered something better. I am alone, utterly alone. I wasn’t meant to live this long, the constant reminder on my brain as I get closer and closer to my birthday, another year wasted. What do I do here? I am in a foreign country and I can’t keep doing this. I need help, direction - something, anything. Please.

Coward

replies: 3

Trapped in the feelings of wanting to die im ready. But something stopping me at the same time. What is this, it's torture. How do I get help when it's a 6 week wait to see my gp.

Just another human who's had enough of life

replies: 10

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Like everything else in my life, it seems pointless. I'm posting my nonsense on a random website so that complete strangers will acknowledge and empathise with me. Nobody close to me has. Not that I've really opened up about it. How the hell do you do that? I've pretty much decided that I've had enough of my life and it's time to leave it. I imagine those close to me being a little shocked and maybe saddened but not completely surprised that I ended my life, then carrying on like nothing happened. In time I'll be a distant memory, like an old injury. I feel tired, heavy like a burden, a waste of space, useless. Seriously, what's the point in drifting through days and nights filled with conflict, misery and feelings of hopelessness? If I went away, those around me would be free to enjoy their lives without the darkness that I bring. This is from my favourite song: "As my anger shouts at my own self-doubt, so a sadness creeps into my dreams. When you're scared of living but afraid to die, I get scared of giving and I must find the faith to beat it." But I can't...

What options do I have Left?

replies: 3

Hi I'm not really sure what to get from this post as both myself and my mother have no real options. I currently live alone and bought my new house which I should be excited for in late December last year. But I haven't had 1 day of actually happiness in 6 months due to health complications which keep seeming to go on and on with no answers. I had major surgery called SOD. Since a week after recovering I developed massive stomach cramps which have continued since then. I've only had 1 week of relief from this. I've had multiple "diagnosis" such as fecal impaction, reaction to a 5 year drug, IBS and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. However nothing has been worked and It's getting to much. Im struggling to work or enjoy life, even living on my own im noticing "I've just had enough". (I've been wearing the same cloths for over a week). I have one last hope this week with a blood test for SIBO. But if that all comes back clean. This is just too much. This cramp and me constantly feeling fatigued is to much. I honestly don't think I Should be driving I'm that fatigued sometimes. What options do I honestly have anymore?

So tired

replies: 3

I am so tired of fighting to stay alive. All I want is peace and rest.

I feel broken

replies: 3

I'm really sorry for such a long text but I don't know who to talk to about this at all. I don't have some sort of serious medical issue or diagnosed problems. I'm quite young and on the outside, it would seem like I have a great life. But I have suicidal and self-harm thoughts. I know I'm too much of a coward to actually do it, but sometimes,. I sometimes just break down and cry, but only quietly and when I'm alone. I'm not under a lot of school pressure, but I always feel a weight on my shoulders. I do dance, and I feel pressured by my mother (whom I asked for help) to be better and try harder. I know I asked her for help first, but I can't take it. My knees are bruised and painful, my shoulder is red, and my heart just can't take it. It sounds shallow. Simple. Petty. But I can't. My work isn't be appreciated. My effort isn't being acknowledged. I'm constantly being told 'you're not even trying that hard' whenever I try to be vulnerable or explain myself. It's right. I'm not trying as hard as I know I could be. But I'm still trying. Spending hours. Until I'm dizzy. Until I hear something crack. And I wake up in pain every day, but keep going. I'm burnt out. It's not just that. Sometimes, I sit in a dark room alone for hours, feeling utterly empty and broken and wanting to end everything for no reason. Every bad thing that happened to me feels like a dream. A nightmare. I don't even have that big of a problem in life. People are out suffering worse. People are dying. And I'm here crying because I'm tired. I need to pull myself together. But I can't. I just want to let myself go and let my mind shatter into a million pieces. I'm so tired. I'm so broken. I want to die but know I won't.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Overwhelmed and drowning replies: 2

Parents ignoring issues replies: 3

Please help replies: 1

I can't help it but feel helpless. replies: 1

Where to from here? replies: 7

Coward replies: 3

Just another human who's had enough of life replies: 10

What options do I have Left? replies: 3

So tired replies: 3

I feel broken replies: 3