Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 94

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Guest_9071 It won't go away
  • replies: 2

I can only compare the urge to that being like a deep itch. It's only until you scratch it, it perhaps goes away....but then again this is more like a nerve itch that WONT go away. I've got the grim reaper on my back and a burst cloud over my head. F... View more

I can only compare the urge to that being like a deep itch. It's only until you scratch it, it perhaps goes away....but then again this is more like a nerve itch that WONT go away. I've got the grim reaper on my back and a burst cloud over my head. Feeling the worst and so hopeless. I cannot tell you the pain I feel.

apeMAN Needing encouragement
  • replies: 5

June 19, 2020 I attempted suicide. I didn't/don't want to be in pain anymore. That date is coming up soon and it's triggering me. I've tried so damn much since then to rebuild my health, mind and willpower. But my mind is fragmented into a thousand p... View more

June 19, 2020 I attempted suicide. I didn't/don't want to be in pain anymore. That date is coming up soon and it's triggering me. I've tried so damn much since then to rebuild my health, mind and willpower. But my mind is fragmented into a thousand pieces. A lifetime of chronic headaches/migraines. They can be over 15+ days in a month. They can last anywhere from 2 to 16 hours. I was born missing supportive bones on one side of my neck. There's no cure, only manageability. I've had chronic fatigue and depression for 20 years. Tried all the things. My son is 3.5yrs old. He's my heart. I love him so damn much and love being his dad. It's the only reason I keep fighting through this continuous pain cycle. It's torturous. I don't want to be in pain anymore. But I don't want to leave my boy fatherless. So each day I'm crushed between those opposing forces. It took 15 years of mental degradation to attempt my life. It's been nearly 3 years since then. I've been diligent in trying to repair my mind and willpower. 100+hrs of clinical psychology, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, diet, drugs, no drugs, western medicine, eastern medicine and so on. I don't think there's a option I haven't tried. I'm tired. The journey to some semblance of sustainable health is always out of reach. Everytime I make progress it gets taken from me. I can't leave my son without his dad. But I also don't want to be in pain. I feel trapped physically and emotionally. Looping the same loops. My family knows my story. They are immensely supportive. I'm not in danger but I am in mental turmoil. Each setback shatters me and I have to rebuild again and again. The future seems overwhelming and impossible.

Caiteyb He broke up with me
  • replies: 1

He broke up with me and idk how to cope, he was the one thing that helped me not have constant dark thoughts and now he's gone. It's so weird not having him around, and I don't understand how one day he's my best friend and the next he's just gone. View more

He broke up with me and idk how to cope, he was the one thing that helped me not have constant dark thoughts and now he's gone. It's so weird not having him around, and I don't understand how one day he's my best friend and the next he's just gone.

Bbydoll I hate this time of year & everything about my life
  • replies: 245

I'm suffering from chronic pain issues; auto immune related issues and a body that is basically falling apart. I have no family around except for a brother (and sister in law,and niece), who would rather spend time with their friends - even though I ... View more

I'm suffering from chronic pain issues; auto immune related issues and a body that is basically falling apart. I have no family around except for a brother (and sister in law,and niece), who would rather spend time with their friends - even though I pushed myself to be there for their daughters birthday. My teeth are rotting because of pain meds and I have no way of paying for them to be fixed.. some are now are in my smile line and the idea of loosing teeth there destroys me. My extended family wanted me to join them on Christmas day except for the fact it would be just breakfast as they want to visit their significant others family (not to mention it's a 4 hour round trip for me on public transport on a public holiday), and I can barely function as I'm suffering from tinnitus and vertigo at the moment on top of my usual health issues. I'm struggling to get through to the rest of the year. I've been reaching out via text message to my closest friend - but he's been avoiding me. My other friend just doesn't believe how bad my mental state is; despite having her own issues with depression and suicide. Every year is another year where nothing is achieved and my "bucket list" is further away from ever happening. Even on the rare occasions I'm out socializing; people avoid me. I seem to just repel people. Having had years and years of people leaving me, it's not like I haven't tried - organizing parties at my place; inviting friends out for a girls night out etc... no one ever bothers returning the favor. No one checks up on me. My online friends only respond to me messaging them - and even that's not a guarantee of a reply. I'm tired of struggling with no support. I'm not living, I'm barely surviving. .. it's like I'm not even here. And I'm sure it wouldn't matter if I wasn't because people in my life just don't seem to care! And it's not like I have anything keeping me here - no partner, no kids, no pets. . Nothing at all.

Pennieee Just hopeless and tired…
  • replies: 13

I am going through another bad time of my life and I just can’t seem to get over it. I’ve had these feelings before and they have gone away and now they’re back. I just feel hopeless and empty. I have thoughts of not wanting to wake up so I don’t hav... View more

I am going through another bad time of my life and I just can’t seem to get over it. I’ve had these feelings before and they have gone away and now they’re back. I just feel hopeless and empty. I have thoughts of not wanting to wake up so I don’t have to feel this way anymore but I never thought of how…nor have any plans to. They’re just thoughts of what if…I still turn up to work, still smile and say ‘I’m good’. I just wish someone or something can pull me out of this mesh I have in my mind. I just don’t know what else to do…I don’t think I want to harm myself. But the thoughts of not wanting to live anymore just won’t go away…

Jay234 Unsure
  • replies: 3

Kind of scared to post this but i guess it cant hurt. I had cancer around ten years ago and haven't been the same since, it has changed me mentally and physically to the point of being afraid of most things and i hardly see my friends anymore, i long... View more

Kind of scared to post this but i guess it cant hurt. I had cancer around ten years ago and haven't been the same since, it has changed me mentally and physically to the point of being afraid of most things and i hardly see my friends anymore, i long for companionship but have nothing to offer a potential partner so i dont bother, i want a job really badly but i have no qualifications and im terrified of the application process, i put on a tough act but i feel myself getting weaker every day, i self harm and thoughts of suicide have become much more frequent and im looking for some kind of support group or the alternative: an easy way out

BLACKDOGG66 I’m So Over It!
  • replies: 2

Hi… I’m a newbie… have raised money for BB for a few years, but never have I felt the need to post my issues. I am 56. I had a well paying job in govt positions for 38 years. My last govt job pushed me over the psychological limit (mid 2019). I have ... View more

Hi… I’m a newbie… have raised money for BB for a few years, but never have I felt the need to post my issues. I am 56. I had a well paying job in govt positions for 38 years. My last govt job pushed me over the psychological limit (mid 2019). I have not held a long or well paying job since then. I am now at the point of writing a will and getting ‘out’!! I hate my existence…. I can’t afford to do anything… all my animals need vet assistance, I’m just about to loss a heap of lower teeth to gum disease, I can’t sleep, I have no purpose.

harper_ i just want to let it out to random people who are like me <3
  • replies: 3

im debating if i should send this but i am, im at my bestfriends house for a sleep over and im on the verge of tears. lets go back to the basics, around a year ago i was dignosed with depression and put on anti depresants and ive recently been dignos... View more

im debating if i should send this but i am, im at my bestfriends house for a sleep over and im on the verge of tears. lets go back to the basics, around a year ago i was dignosed with depression and put on anti depresants and ive recently been dignosed with adhd along with having bad anxiety and somewhat of a ED. i was sitting at her dinner table with her family and i tried the dinner her mum made me but i didnt like it because im a picky eater so her dad was joking around telling me to eat it but i coulnd't. i felt if i ate anymore than i did i was going to throuw up but he kept telling me to eat. ive always hated eating infront of people and this shot my anxiety really high, i was about to cry. im currently in her room as she talks to an online friend on discord. i want to go home. i want to text someone but i dont want to bother anyone. i wish my life was different. ive seen so many therapist and im tired of being a burden on my family. i just want my life end, its not worth this pain. thank you for reading, have a nice day.

lil quirky Vent about life currently, feel free to read :)
  • replies: 2

Hi, lil quirky here, I just need a place to vent and didn't know where else to go because I will probably talk about some sensitive things in here, feel free to respond, or not... So I'm not sure where to start to be honest, ok I'm currently in year ... View more

Hi, lil quirky here, I just need a place to vent and didn't know where else to go because I will probably talk about some sensitive things in here, feel free to respond, or not... So I'm not sure where to start to be honest, ok I'm currently in year 12 at school and I am more of a practical learner, so I don't do well with school, and hence why I do not want to go to uni. Last year my dog who had been my best friend all my life, she lived over 18 years so she has still been on this planet longer than me, and I am not excited to turn 18 because of that, she passed away, we had to put her down, and words cannot describe the grief I am feeling and the guilt. Then we go a new puppy, but it was too soon for me. when my dog left us, that's the first time I ever hurt myself, I felt guilty because she could have lived more, but she had dementia and a lot of problems, so she would have been in pain and unhappy. Grief has and is hitting me hard, I have never experienced it like this, with someone so close, it hurts, it really does, and because of this grief, lately I haven't been able to concentrate in class, connect with family, I haven't been eating properly, I haven't been sleeping well (clearly because I'm writing this at like midnight), so I'm all out of wack, and it's not just the grief... school and friends have always been an escape for me, escape from home and my responsibilities of being the eldest daughter amongst 3 younger brothers. Lately, well it's gone on for a while now but I came to this school in year 10, and have an amazing group of friends, but there is one person in particular who doesn't like me, and because of that I have been left out of things, have been talked about behind my back, and I have tried so hard to connect with this person, but they don't seem to care, and I just felt worthless, so this was the second time I hurt myself. Recently, family has been hard to deal with, teenage boys suck and they don't get anything done, and the eldest gets blamed obviously, and they just don't understand you in general. And stuff has come up recently with other family stuff, so my youngest brother is actually my 4-year-old half-brother, and my ex step dad I guess, we had to deal with family violence with him and it wasn't fun, and stuff has come up where child protection services have had to step in again, I'm about to run out of words so...Thank you for reading my vent, feel free to offer any advice you may have, vent here, or just say hi -lil quirky