Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Maddie.f Help I guess.
  • replies: 2

Idk what to do anymore. I’ve been here before where I have tried to take my own life before and I haven’t started cutting again but the only reason is because I can’t be bothered to buy the razors. I have tried multiple therapists and been on differe... View more

Idk what to do anymore. I’ve been here before where I have tried to take my own life before and I haven’t started cutting again but the only reason is because I can’t be bothered to buy the razors. I have tried multiple therapists and been on different medications but nothing works, I’ve tried those self help apps with the cute animals. I’ve even tried starving myself to be better. I’m afraid that if I go down this path again I will not make it out the other side. I have nobody to talk to about this. I scared my best friend and my dad last time and my mother doesn’t care about me. Don’t try to tell me she probably does because I really know she doesn’t. I feel it coming. I have no drive or motivation anymore. The things I enjoyed don’t matter anymore and I feel myself distancing myself from my friends and family. Whenever I try to imagine a future for myself my mind goes blank. I really can’t go through this battle again. All I want is to be happy and to feel loved but I can’t even remember how that feels.I want to stop being selfish. I want to stop failing at helping people. I want to stop failing at everything I do. I want to be somebody’s first choice and I want to like what I see in the mirror. I want what I see other people have. I’m terrified to get the energy to buy a razor because hurting myself felt like a punishment I deserved but I know that if I do then I will be so angry with myself after. I feel like I’m watching myself fall down this pit and I feel like I can’t do anything about it. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want someone to care about me like I care about them. I don’t want to hurt myself or anyone around me but I’m terrified that I’m going to get to a point where all of this is too much and I will forget about the pain they will feel just to release myself from my own pain. It’s been three years since my first attempt and I hate myself for not being better.

nixxyboo Memory blanks
  • replies: 1

Ever since I was a kid I have struggles with anxiety and depression. Now tho whenever I tend to harm I have no memory of doing it what so ever. Does this happen to anyone else?

Ever since I was a kid I have struggles with anxiety and depression. Now tho whenever I tend to harm I have no memory of doing it what so ever. Does this happen to anyone else?

Mich87 obsessed with psychologist
  • replies: 5

I’m 36 years old female, mother to a 3 years old daughter and wife to a good caring husband. First I entered therapy for anger management and get rid off suicidal thoughts from my mind. One day I missed my appointment and she rang me. I apologised an... View more

I’m 36 years old female, mother to a 3 years old daughter and wife to a good caring husband. First I entered therapy for anger management and get rid off suicidal thoughts from my mind. One day I missed my appointment and she rang me. I apologised and I was willing to pay the cancellation fee. But she stated I don’t want to pay if it’s happened again they will charge cancellation fee next time. This is the first day I started to search about her. I just wanted to find who is this good person. I found her and her family on facebook. I spent hours looking at her photos. Then after I started to develop romantic/erotic thoughts about her. I’m totally obsessed with her. Every single second she Invaded my mind. I couldn’t forget her.I never ever felt about a woman before. I worried about my sexuality. I decided to speak with her as I thought she would be understanding and help me to cope with this situation. Instead of helping me she suggested to transfer me to an another psychologist. I didn’t want to lose her, I did my best to control my thoughts. I went to a retreat and started doing meditation and It was helpful to stay in the present moment. Unfortunately I had a car accident. I was so shocked panicked and couldn’t sleep. Then after those thoughts popped up again. I wanted to speak to her but couldn’t get an appointment. Then I sent an email to her asking help. She didn’t reply to my email. Then after I had a panic attack. I wanted to get suicide. I didn’t want to leave my daughter alone in this world without a mum. I thought if I terminate therapy it would be easier to forget her. So I requested to terminate therapy. Then she rang me again and asked to come for one more session. I was so surprised, I didn’t expect a call from her. I went and when I see her I felt so good and I didn’t want to terminate the therapy. But she wanted to terminate the therapy. She suggested me two places to find another therapist. My whole world collapsed down. I didn’t know how I walked away and drove to home. Then after she blocked my fb account. It was so painful and I cried a lot I was out of my mind. I looked for options to get sucide. I started to drink alcohol. My condition got worse. I felt I was rejected or abounded by the person I mostly trusted. I really missed her. Her presence always made me happy. Then I started with waiting and watching her as she left her office in the evening. Then following her home. stalking her on the internet., invading her privacy. This eventually consumed my life. One day she caught me when I followed her. Then after I didn’t follow her. I’m afraid to break the law. I’m a good lawful citizen. I was filled with shame. Then my psychiatrist increased my medication dose . It helped me to settled my depression. I permanently deleted all of my social media accounts. We wanted to have an another baby. I spoke to my psychiatrist and requested to reduce the dose and we did. But now those thoughts are popping up again. I feel again I miss her. It’s extremely painful. I fight with my thoughts. The pressure builds up in my mind drives me in to suicidal ideation. I searched the options in the internet to get sucide. Can’t I have an another baby? I’m afraid, i will regret in 10 years because of these thoughts I couldn’t have an another child. I’m afraid,one day my daughter will hates me. She will question why my mum loved her psychologist than me and why she left me and committed suicide . I’m totally obsessed with my psychologist. I can’t get her out of my head. When I entered therapy I had no idea any of this would happen. It’s so painful,humiliating, disgusting and disappointing. Please somebody help me.Please tell me how to get her out from my head. Thank you.

Blue-Lampfish Just wanna express my own feelings...
  • replies: 1

Hello all. I have noticed that i'm not right at the moment, prob not a moment, it's more like a few years or so. it all starts with one time i had argument with my family member, i was in anger and the rage made me hit the table (i think or something... View more

Hello all. I have noticed that i'm not right at the moment, prob not a moment, it's more like a few years or so. it all starts with one time i had argument with my family member, i was in anger and the rage made me hit the table (i think or something near) the pain brings my feelings back, i was extremely upset and angry but after the pain everything start to feel better. At that time i wasn't aware of the term "self-harm" so it like a prefect treatment for me when i'm feeling down and depressed. and it's gets worst when one time i was crying and self-harmed. It was a really bad start like a pandora's box. typically i don't have anything big to make me self-harm, because i read about some relating articles, my life was just normal and sometimes quite good, i'm sorry, this sounds that i'm a picky person, but that method seems to be the only treatment i have as i got older, my temper also gets bad in times. Based on my symptoms i thought i could be having bpd or something, but i know i can't just self-diagnosis these just because i have a bad temper. my family is really traditional, they don't want their kid to be mentally ill, and i don't have the money to go up to a mental doctor. I barely have a suicided thoughts but it disappear when i think about everything i've got now. i used to have minor evidence on self-harm on my arms, it's really light so no one ever noticed it, but one time my family member asked what happend and i have to deny nothing but random scratches. than i think it's worse because i start to self-harm on my thigh, and i'm hematophobia so i'm under extreme sad was released by self harm and a strong dizziness. i won't suicide, i know myself. just wanna find somewhere to share my feelings, i have no friends to share my struggles, they prob think i'm weird, used to a have a friends online that i told about it implicitly, they give me good feedbacks and comforts but i don't wants to keep annoy them with my negative feeling everyday. About the bpd thoughts, i have a bad temper when i was little, i thought it's generally passed down from one of my family member, but for now i'm not too sure about it...i wrote this down because i'm in another extreme emotional downhill, the only thing i can do is self harm and keep crying, really don't know what to do. Thank you if you read my whole complain and emo little paragraph, i will try my best

IGA how do i move on with life
  • replies: 1

hello just going to start by saying idk if anyone else is similar but i’m really struggling with what to do next had some stuff happen (SA/other) and i’ve got a bit of trauma from it but during that time of my life i was self harming daily and tried ... View more

hello just going to start by saying idk if anyone else is similar but i’m really struggling with what to do next had some stuff happen (SA/other) and i’ve got a bit of trauma from it but during that time of my life i was self harming daily and tried to leave this earth a couple times. all that coupled with anxiety and depression sent me down a crazy spiral it’s now been a while since all that stuff and life has improved significantly. i no longer harm and stuff like that however i do still think about it all the time i know that i shouldn’t and that it’s wrong to do it and even though i have no real reason i can’t seem to get it out of my head. i want to put it all behind me but i’m really not sure how to. like i feel as though i should be over it now but it still affects me quite a bit and i still have panic attacks and stuff about it even though it can no longer hurt me anyone else in a similar boat or have any idea what to do. i’m really stuck. i just want to be done with it all and forget about it already

LanaKane Grieving Suicide
  • replies: 4

I'll preface by saying that I'm not at immediate risk of suicide, and that I've discussed this with my psych and my partner. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has felt like this too. In 2016 I had a serious suicide attempt (not to say all attempts... View more

I'll preface by saying that I'm not at immediate risk of suicide, and that I've discussed this with my psych and my partner. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has felt like this too. In 2016 I had a serious suicide attempt (not to say all attempts shouldn't be considered serious. Just that drs aren't sure how I survived it). Things got better. I met my wonderful partner in 2017, we have had loads of fun and adventures. And he's always been so supportive when I struggle. We had our daughter in 2020 and, despite some PPA, any times.of depression has been fairly brief. Until now. I'm suffering a long and very deep bout of depression. And I've realised, suicide is no longer an option because I'd never leave our daughter. So that means, no matter how bad things get, I have to suffer it, no matter what. There's no longer that option of a way out. I've massively spiralled since realising this and I have no idea how to cope with it. Suicide was always a safety net you know? Now it isn't. Now I'm stuck. Having depression (granted at varying degrees) for the rest of my life. Had anyone else struggled with this realisations? I get that protective factors are supposed to be a good thing, but right now I'm really resenting them. I can't self harm or just get obliterated on alcohol. Logically I know this is a good thing. But it doesn't feel good. It feels way worse. And I can never end my life. No matter how bad it gets. I honestly don't know how to cope with this realisation. Thanks if you read this.

Guest_16431 broken heart and no where to turn
  • replies: 3

Hello all i'm suffering a broken hearti had a relationship end badly and i'm in a rut atmi'm living alone currently without many friends and no contact with my family. i don't have any mental health support privately but am case-managed in the public... View more

Hello all i'm suffering a broken hearti had a relationship end badly and i'm in a rut atmi'm living alone currently without many friends and no contact with my family. i don't have any mental health support privately but am case-managed in the public system. So, i see a case manager every 2 weeks and a psychiatrist every 6 months or a bit less if i'm in crises.My friends are really supportive but some of them want me to sstop talking about the heartbreak and feel that better things are on the horizon. I can't see a horizon. I've been sectioned a few times under the mental health act because i feel like hurting myself. I know these forums have strict rules and i'll try be respectful. I hope people can meet me where i'm at, but i feel a lot of shame talking about suicide and i don't want to feel that shame more, so it helps me to talk. I welcome all input from anyone and all are welcome. x Sleepy21

Lunaluz Ignoring this any longer feels like lying to myself.
  • replies: 2

I think I have a good life, I've been so "blessed", yet being mentally ill won't let me actually feel it.I know people love me but I just hear words, the only times I feel valuable is when I do something for someone and they thank me.I wish I could s... View more

I think I have a good life, I've been so "blessed", yet being mentally ill won't let me actually feel it.I know people love me but I just hear words, the only times I feel valuable is when I do something for someone and they thank me.I wish I could stop thinking for a moment, to not have to feel some type of pressure. I'm very lonely today, the only person I truly I can be myself with is very sick right now and I had not realized how he keeps me from falling apart.I don't want to ignore this thoughts anymore, I can't make them go away, its like unless I hurt myself or actually die, people around me wont understand to what low I feel I have gotten; but also, I just don't think I'll ever be able to let it go.2020 I hurt myself, but after battling with myself, I decided to give it another shot; and I cant explain how much I regret not doing it then. The more I grow the harder life gets, the more burden and pain I leave behind.I'm just so fucking tired of carrying with the burden of my existence, not even my parents could be bothered making space for me in the world, why would it be anyone else's job? I just wish I could let someone look after me, but going to a hospital or psych ward is taking the space of someone who probably has it worse than me. Wish I could go somewhere nice and quite

Lilly18 Fish bowl
  • replies: 5

Struggling very lost and confused. Been to hospital earlier this year but I didn’t continue with the medication I was put on while in there. I had a psychologist but I just wouldn’t show up to the appointments I was either in bed depressed or thinkin... View more

Struggling very lost and confused. Been to hospital earlier this year but I didn’t continue with the medication I was put on while in there. I had a psychologist but I just wouldn’t show up to the appointments I was either in bed depressed or thinking I was fine and don’t need to go. I don’t see the point in anything what so ever. happy people make me angry, people reaching out to me make me angry and think they’re talking about me. I have been trying to sleep my life away it’s just painful. Been wanting to self harm and thoughts of suicide come especially when I’m trying to go to sleep at night. I can’t get myself to phone or go to the psychologist even if it would be helpful