Hi, welcome
It's a terrible event splitting up and I've been there. So let me mention briefly and then I'll address your situation.
I've had 4 long term relationships 7,11,10 and currently 13 years now happily married. For 11 years my first wife made life hard and we had 2 kids. Finally I made an attempt and I'm really glad I pulled myself together because a week later I left and devoted my life to my part time dad existence. My girls then were 7 and 4yo now 35 and 31. So I somehow moved on and survived and look back at how I would have regretted such action.
Prior to separation we individuals can behave poorly. We are not ourselves and we fear the worst, fear from our partner no longer loving us, losing full time parenthood, friends, in-laws, home, town?... the list can be daunting and the effects life threatening in some cases.
This is where I'm now firm with my beliefs with behaviour. If the behaviour of one party of the couple includes physical, emotional, breach of trust or criminal actions or violence then it should take a mountain to forgive and forget. However it is a personal decision and others eg family and friends should be more of a sounding board than forcing their views upon us. They were not living with that person your were.
In many cases the people around you care for you and your future, they dont want you to be hurt ongoing by seeing you reunite, so love has a big part of this whole saga. If you reunite then expect that love to intrude into the relationships between them and your partner. Far better to see it for what it is- love than portray it as interfering. Eventually they will come around with your together when they see you happy and settled.
Part of that process is stringent honesty, for your part (if any) of any actions that you regret. Thats the best process IMO.
So the question now has zero to do with other people regardless of their reactions if you reunited. It has to do with ability to forgive, acknowledgement of soul mate status if its equal feelings and if you can overcome any future obstacles. The last one should IMO include couples counselling and you both would be amazed at the benefits of that.
Take care of yourself, people lovve you, ring lifeline or beyondblue number is at the bottom if you fear for your safety.
Reply anytime and good luck.
TonyWK
