Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 92

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Yerrrrrp Can't do this
  • replies: 4

I'm ready to end it. I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm choking to death on my tears and pain. I just can't.

I'm ready to end it. I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm choking to death on my tears and pain. I just can't.

lily_2680 I keep on thinking about death
  • replies: 17

All I can think about is death, I honestly don't know why I should even try anymore. The voices in my head are telling me to hurt myself but I can't hurt myself right now. I don't want to be here and I'm at the point where I think I need someones hel... View more

All I can think about is death, I honestly don't know why I should even try anymore. The voices in my head are telling me to hurt myself but I can't hurt myself right now. I don't want to be here and I'm at the point where I think I need someones help or to go to a hospital or something because I can handle this. A while ago someone told me to go to a pysch ward but I don't know what to do (I'm safe).

Crepe Myrtle Partner runs away when I'm suffering
  • replies: 8

This is the third time time in 8 months that my partner has abandoned me while i'm in crisis. First time i was bedridden with illness for 2 weeks, he obviously couldn't cope. Second time was the anniversary of my mother's death. He didn't understand ... View more

This is the third time time in 8 months that my partner has abandoned me while i'm in crisis. First time i was bedridden with illness for 2 weeks, he obviously couldn't cope. Second time was the anniversary of my mother's death. He didn't understand my grief. A couple of weeks ago my best friend woke up in hospital, almost died. My dog is dying. Last week he was trying to put me in hospital to help me after self harming. That same day he packed his car (I didn't know this) and next day he was gone. I've been getting help from local mental health people & have more appointments next week. Why must he abandon me? His way of dealing with things is to pretend they don't exist, so right now it's me who doesn't exist. I'm angry. I'm also super strong. I'm also fragile & vulnerable. I'm spending my time caring for my dog and trying to care for myself but the self harm has increased and I don't want to be here anymore. Sending love to all those who are suffering alone.

Jacqui51 Definitely unsure about this forum
  • replies: 26

I have tried to be positive about using this forum but really unsure. For me some of the replies seem formulaic and gubgho positive, not from someone who really does understand. I am older, tired, depressed and yes at times I self harm and am suicida... View more

I have tried to be positive about using this forum but really unsure. For me some of the replies seem formulaic and gubgho positive, not from someone who really does understand. I am older, tired, depressed and yes at times I self harm and am suicidal. I do see a psychiatrist but even after 18 months not really getting anywhere. I have chosen to gradually take myself off all antidepressants over the 7 weeks they are away. Truthfully no difference that I have noted. Before I was suicidal, depressed and harmed. Now suicidal, depressed and self harm. Not sure trying this type of forum is any use at all.

Pandemica Reaching out and remaining anonymous
  • replies: 12

Hi, new to this forum. Been struggling with some really really dark thoughts of late. I am a front-line worker in a hospital and the workload of late has been absolutely ridiculous. I, as we all are am feeling absolutely broken and burnt out. On top ... View more

Hi, new to this forum. Been struggling with some really really dark thoughts of late. I am a front-line worker in a hospital and the workload of late has been absolutely ridiculous. I, as we all are am feeling absolutely broken and burnt out. On top of this, I have been working through some really traumatic experiences with a therapist of late. It leaves me with this pervasive dark cloud over my head that follows me everywhere. My whole body feels heavy and most days I struggle to even get out of bed. I find myself crying in the car on the way to work, then crying on the way home again. I am having some really intrusive suicidal thoughts. Though I desperately wish I could just quietly slip out of this life one day. I stop myself because I feel so so guilty to hurt others around me and also my family. I have considered ringing a helpline during some really dark times. Can you just ring them for a chat without the fear of any intervention on their part? Thanks, Pandemica

Misslea Hard to talk always keep it to myself.
  • replies: 4

Really don't know how to start I'm probs using this page wrong and telling too much info. My Dr said this a great site to start talking about the things that are hard to talk about. Ever since I was young I always knew I was different but didn't quit... View more

Really don't know how to start I'm probs using this page wrong and telling too much info. My Dr said this a great site to start talking about the things that are hard to talk about. Ever since I was young I always knew I was different but didn't quite understand why couldn't even understand why I wanted to die at the age of 11. At almost 27 now I get flashbacks about suppressed memories and understand things as to why I am the way I am. People always made me think I did everything wrong or that I was a bad person or treated me differently cause I was shy and the fat kid. No one cares about the fat kid. I think that and the bullying made me lose weight as I got older added to my depression and anxiety and helped me develope eating disorders. My father did drugs and was really scary when he drank or got mad but for some reason I was always by his side. I now know I was trauma bonded with him. I loved him no matter how bad things got between us I know he loved and cared for me but at the same time the drugs turnt him into something he wasn't. When he was on drugs he was my pilot dad the lights were on but no one was home. Sober dad was my dad I loved him so much. It pains me to talk about him in this way which makes it hard since I watched him die almost 5 years ago. As I got older he was like my kid. It was us against the world even though when he was on the drugs I had to deal with someone who I couldnt recognise. I've always been the type to self-harm just to feel something other than mental pain. But after my dad passed I couldn't take it. I remembered my family and how I couldn't put them through anymore pain and another loss and also remembered I had loved ones to protect. I already regret talking about some of these things that happened in my life I swear I'm not loopy and no I'm not a danger to anyone but myself. I recently had two kids in the past 2 years and they have stopped me from ending it all I hate how my mind works. Theres so much more

Guest_2350 Useless
  • replies: 1

Hi, Feeling pretty off this world. Yeah I know I have mental illness and all that. Everything just feels like a broken record. I don’t really cope well with the normal world challenges on top of that. The religious freedom bill debate has hit me hard... View more

Hi, Feeling pretty off this world. Yeah I know I have mental illness and all that. Everything just feels like a broken record. I don’t really cope well with the normal world challenges on top of that. The religious freedom bill debate has hit me hard, I try keep my identity hidden from the world anyway which is starting to get harder. I’ve been thinking about to stop hormones. And I don’t want to take my meds. Can’t really do that. I still don’t have a home and feel a bit lost. Yeah just upsets me a bit that I thought I made progress with my gender identity and now I wish I didn’t.

Guest_1573 Will I Ever Feel Any Joy Again
  • replies: 4

I am feeling quite desperate. I have had awful traumatic episodes in the last few years and I have tried to get help but nothing works. I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. It seems whatever I do is wrong. My life is just one debacle af... View more

I am feeling quite desperate. I have had awful traumatic episodes in the last few years and I have tried to get help but nothing works. I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. It seems whatever I do is wrong. My life is just one debacle after another. I am a single parent to an 18 year old son. He is very hard work. I have no support from anyone. I do not feel there is anything to look forward to. I lost my beloved dog on January 14 and that has destroyed me. I have spoken to doctors, counsellors, psychologists. What scares me is that nothing makes me feel better. I feel trapped with my son as he does not like his Dad and never goes there. He has me wrapped around his finger. I feel like a slave to him. My life is just one crap day to the next. I wish I could just go away and be with my beloved dog and all my other darlings that I have lost over the years. Life to me is just a nightmare of dramas, tantrums, debacles, arguments... me giving in and spending a lot of money to keep my son happy....my darling dog made life bearable as she was the light of my life. Everyday we would go places and when we were home she was by my side constantly. She is gone and she went through horrible circumstances . I trust next to no one now and I really don't want to be here. I do not need to be sent to a psych ward where I will be treated like a criminal. I need to have some peace and validation. I need my son to not be here. I need to be left alone! But this will never happen!! My son has manipulated everything to his advantage. He is the biggest problem in my life. Yes I am mourning my beautiful girl....I will mourn her forever. But having zero support from anyone and dealing with him and his crap daily ( and nightly...he wakes me up to ask for money for his game?????) is killing me. Yes I love him but I don't want him here right now and there is NO WAY OUT. On top of this my health anxiety has reared it's ugly head. I am convinced I have cancer and the more I worry about it the worse the symptoms get. Then I think 'oh well I hate life anyway so it might be good as then I don't have to kill myself'. My rational mind tells me this is terrible. But the stress, anxiety, grief, drama etc I suffer everyday makes me feel that. Perhaps it is a safety mechanism. Basically my existence is pure misery. I probably do have/will get cancer as I smoke and drink a lot. That is all that is making me get through the days. I am an idiot.

Mochiibee Today was not my day...
  • replies: 1

Hi all!... I had a pretty bad breakdown today. To the point of self harm, hoping that the thoughts would stop.. There was a family BBQ, I dont really talking to my family much, bad relationships with them. And one of them is a perv. I told someone i ... View more

Hi all!... I had a pretty bad breakdown today. To the point of self harm, hoping that the thoughts would stop.. There was a family BBQ, I dont really talking to my family much, bad relationships with them. And one of them is a perv. I told someone i would try to eat with them this time ( last time, i just wasnt feeling it, i usually like to be alone, where i feel safe. But i still got in trouble for not eating with them the next day. [forgot to mention i get really awkward around them]) so i ate this time but still sat alone. i have problems with my weight, and a few days ago i discovered what i truly looked like [ new room with those long mirrors attached to sliding door wardrobes) i was disgusted with myself, i looked terrible, thinking why did i let myself go like this?.. I really wanted to stop eating, i dont want to look like this anymore but i never have motivation, i just keep crying, unable to control myself...so today.. I self harmed ( i care alot about my appearance and other peoples views on me ) I really do want to get my own therapist... Though im afraid i never have the money but i dont know how to save.. i still have no job and living with my parents.. I got a bad history with my father so i want to move out and away soon..hopefully

Ryan7519 OCD and driving
  • replies: 1

Good evening everybody my name is Ryan I am 26 years of age just over quarter of a century and have suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in particular my OCD is in relation to driving I got my drivers eighteen ... View more

Good evening everybody my name is Ryan I am 26 years of age just over quarter of a century and have suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in particular my OCD is in relation to driving I got my drivers eighteen months ago and have green P2s I have had a relatively clean and safe driving history to date perhaps above average for someone my age and that is the thing I have this obsession with perfectionism however I have had a history of really bad OCD when driving and in the past I have been very hard on myself it started of with minor things such as forgetting to indicate driving through an amber light (like when it goes amber right before you cross the line) bumping a curb and just generally little things that everyone does however this has not been so bad I have gotten over being hard on myself for 'forgivable mistakes" however recently my OCD has become much more severe I have a fear of accidentally hitting someone or something like a pedestrian cyclist a dog, more specifically hitting someone or something and "not being aware of it " which is insane how can you hit someone or something and not know like I will stop and give way to a pedestrian and watch them cross safely and see them in the revision mirror on the other side of the road going about their business safe and sound but I will get intrusive thoughts later that go against all logic I do not know if I am more scared of actually hurting someone and the consequences (responsibility OCD) or of the delusions I avoid driving as much as possible except for work and even then I would follow a strict route mostly backroads believing that if I deviated from the route even slightly something bad might happen. A persistent intrusive thought is " Oh my God what if I really did accidentally hit someone and get charged and go to jail, what would happen to me ? My life would be over and not worth living and this is often followed by suicidal ideations. I am tired of constantly feeling depressed all the time.