More scared than I've ever been

[Hourly2128]

Thirty something year old, I have a court date next week, the police have issued intervention order against me protecting my now ex.

I've struggled with suicidal ideation for most of my adult life and I'm at a point now where the only thing that keeps me going is my little boy from a  long term relation that previous to this one,

We'd argued all the our relationship not to mention halfway through our relationship she copped an intervention order protecting her ex that is was violent

She had been diagnosed with personality disorder before I had met her mixed with my depression we had a pretty rough go of it from the start and throughout my depression got worse

This is the first time I've ever dealt with the police in this matter, it never got violent but it was a struggle to get my items back over 2 weeks which led to my DVO

I'm honestly glad to be out of the relationship, but I can't help feeling like an utter scumbag for my actions 

I'm trying my hardest to pick myself up 

I'm really glad my mates coming over tonight.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome,

Sorry to hear this. I've spent many days in courts as a former prison officer, ranger, security guard and investigations. An AVO in comparison is about the least someone should be stressed about. However, 1st time, it's a new worrying experience.  

During separation I'd say there's hardly one soul that doesn't have some regrets- it's called guilt and that doesn't benefit you at all. Only time can heal this. In a couple of weeks you'll feel different and free.

Withholding possessions is a tactic of revenge. Again, it's common. 

I'm glad you have a friend to support you, if you go downhill there's lifeline and a number at the bottom of this page. Protect yourself.

Your son is every reason to mould an exciting future,  focus on him. I did and I'm thankful I rose above my intrusive thoughts to survive my 1st wife's pitiful behaviour.

We are here 24/7/365. Post away and wait for one of us to go online.

You'll be fine in court. 

Ps  address the magistrate as "sir" or "your worship"

TonyWK 

[smallwolf]

Hello and Welcome.

I just wanted to acknowledge that it sounds like you’re not trying hard to navigate a really tough situation. It’s good to hear that you’re glad to be out of the relationship—that’s a big step toward focusing on your well-being.

You’re not a scumbag for struggling; you’re human, and it’s clear you’re reflecting and trying to move forward. You are glad that you have mate who can lean on and who care about you.

And don’t forget to give yourself credit for picking yourself up—it’s not easy, but you’re doing it. Take it one step at a time, and keep focusing on what matters...

Listening...