Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

blueeyedanxiety Struggling after loss
  • replies: 5

I’m really struggling after losing my dad a month and a half ago. He was the one in my family who made me feel included and that I belonged there and now with him gone I feel so alone. The suicidal thoughts (which I’ve had in the past) are now creepi... View more

I’m really struggling after losing my dad a month and a half ago. He was the one in my family who made me feel included and that I belonged there and now with him gone I feel so alone. The suicidal thoughts (which I’ve had in the past) are now creeping in! I would I hope never act on them as I have lost my youngest sons dad 11 years ago as well and he has no one if I was to leave too but to be honest that’s probably the only thing keeping me here. My sisters promised to include me more but that has not happened in the end. My mum is grieving herself and doesn’t seem to want me around she actively seeks others out before me yet me being there for her most of the time ! Dad taught me family is the thing that matters the most so I’m trying so hard to be there but I just feel so alone! I understand everyone is grieving but it was like this before he passed. When dad passed my relationship got better with my oldest son (20 he long story but after youngest sons dad died I gave my older three boys to their dad as I was grieving so hard and he feels like I abandoned him which I understand) but yesterday he hugged my mum and didn’t even say hello to me ! That broke my heart as I thought we’d made progress! My anxiety lately is debilitating I can’t seem to do the simple things I feel so stuck. I feel like I can’t breathe properly and I struggle to put one foot in front of the other ! I have complex PTSD and have worked so hard to be a better person and I have been the best mentally up until dad died I have ever been ! I’d have my bad days but they wouldn’t take me as long to manage . I just feel like I don’t matter my feelings don’t matter I’m not wanted and I’ll never be enough for anyone. I feel like everyone would be better off without me and I feel like I’m just a hindrance! Again I’d never act on these feelings my youngest son is enough to pull me through anything and I know if that wasn’t going to pull me through it I would get more help! I have a psych appointment tomorrow but this is a new psych and I’m feeling like he isn’t getting me however I’m going to give it one more shot before I stop ! I have a lot of health issues (heart and stomach ) and I can’t even get in to see the dr for mental health plans as a single mum on jobseeker I can’t afford to go see one. Anyways that’s all I can think of for now ! I just feel so sad and I’m so sick of feeling sad and feeling like I’m not enough and I don’t matter !

Tomsgone It's all I can think about
  • replies: 10

I think a lot of the time about suicide. Fantasies mostly. It could be any time or any place.I hate these thoughts. I hate myself for having them. I hate myself for being so weak. I often dream of suicide. It's something which permeates my thoughts. ... View more

I think a lot of the time about suicide. Fantasies mostly. It could be any time or any place.I hate these thoughts. I hate myself for having them. I hate myself for being so weak. I often dream of suicide. It's something which permeates my thoughts. It's never far away.A lot of the time I don't feel like I am worthy of treatment or kindness or patience. I feel like I deserve to feel this way. I should be punished. I don't know why. But I know deep down I am not worthy of love or care. I shouldn't be taking up people's valuable time when they could be helping people who are worthy and actually would respond to treatment and follow through.I am an abject failure.Welcome to my pity party. I am really having a bad day. Have made calls to mental health services in my region. Appt booked with psyche for 10am. Just got to make it through the night. So long as I don't end up sleeping in the shed I think it will be ok.

SadSoulGirl Waiting caused me to slip
  • replies: 4

I had been waiting months to see a psychiatrist, when I was finally told that my referral had been accepted and that I'd be contacted for an appointment soon. That was five weeks ago. I have no idea if or when I'll have an appointment, and the consta... View more

I had been waiting months to see a psychiatrist, when I was finally told that my referral had been accepted and that I'd be contacted for an appointment soon. That was five weeks ago. I have no idea if or when I'll have an appointment, and the constant waiting has become too much, I've been left without help for too long. Tonight was the last straw. I self-harmed and I barely got anything out of it, and yet I'm also now committed to long sleeves for weeks, which is a pain in the ass I just want answers as to why I am the way that I am. I want to find out if I have a diagnosable condition so that I can understand why I struggle in the way that I do, and so I can manage it, instead of feeling like a broken failure of a person.

tt_m HSC feels like too much
  • replies: 5

I am currently doing the HSC at school and it is crushing me. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts for a long time now, and have self-harmed due to this pressure, but I'm stable. I'm nearly at the end of it all now, I just have one more trials ... View more

I am currently doing the HSC at school and it is crushing me. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts for a long time now, and have self-harmed due to this pressure, but I'm stable. I'm nearly at the end of it all now, I just have one more trials exam to complete but my previous marks are not good and I'm struggling to imagine a life for myself after HSC. People in my family are very high achievers, getting 90+ atars and I just feel so deeply that I'm worth nothing. Other people seem to not struggle at all and get really high marks without trying, but for me it's very hard to even go to school. Everyone has told me that if I can't even finish highschool I won't ever succeed at uni, so even though I'm almost done it doesn't seem worth it at all. I feel like I'm being so dramatic and that no one will take me seriously, but I'm really running out of hope for the future.

MattN Suicidal 20 yr old
  • replies: 3

Um hi, my name is Matt and Im from Aus, I’m 20 years old and am experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. I don’t expect anyone to read this but I’ll speak anyways, ever since I was 16 I’ve wanted to die, I am not able to deal with life s... View more

Um hi, my name is Matt and Im from Aus, I’m 20 years old and am experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. I don’t expect anyone to read this but I’ll speak anyways, ever since I was 16 I’ve wanted to die, I am not able to deal with life stressors very able despite having been through therapy (which did actually help alot), I’m tired all the time, I’ve suffered through 3 different addictions and faced them alone, I never really tell anyone how I feel or how much I hate myself, I dont want to waste their time with my personal stuff, they’d be better off without me anyways. I’m a lonely individual I don’t have anyone special, nor do I deserve anyone like that or have a meaningful relationship, all I can think is ending everything, deep down in my heart I know the world is better without me in it, I’m a waste of time and space. Like I said I don’t expect anyone to read this but if you do I am sorry if its a little incoherent.

Ely_ Self harm urges and giving in
  • replies: 229

Hi, I've been fighting not to self harm more lately as the urges are happening more often. Especially the last week. I have been struggling. I'm at the point now where I want to give in to the urge. I want the numbness. I want the relief. I don't wan... View more

Hi, I've been fighting not to self harm more lately as the urges are happening more often. Especially the last week. I have been struggling. I'm at the point now where I want to give in to the urge. I want the numbness. I want the relief. I don't want to fight it anymore. I saw my abuser's daughter today and that has triggered me alot. I have PTSD and BPD. I'm trying to distract myself, have been trying mindfulness. I'm sick of not even being able to shower without wanting to hurt. I'm so ashamed. I feel weak and stupid.

Fred65 Depression is awful
  • replies: 2

I'm really struggling at the moment. I have what my psychiatrist calls severe depressive disorder which I usually keep under control with meds and CBT but lately I've been going down a spiral that I can't seem to get out of. The emotional pain won't ... View more

I'm really struggling at the moment. I have what my psychiatrist calls severe depressive disorder which I usually keep under control with meds and CBT but lately I've been going down a spiral that I can't seem to get out of. The emotional pain won't stop and I don't know what to do. I have no motivation for anything. I don't want to say anymore because it sounds pathetic. What do I do?

madd1_jo What do I do?
  • replies: 2

I'm 19 and I just started university. My parents aren't agreeing on what I have chosen to study. At 12 I was diagnosed with depression, and I never really got over that. I always help others in my situation, but on one ever comes over and helps me. W... View more

I'm 19 and I just started university. My parents aren't agreeing on what I have chosen to study. At 12 I was diagnosed with depression, and I never really got over that. I always help others in my situation, but on one ever comes over and helps me. What do I do?

Guest_4593 Don't know how to fit into life anymore
  • replies: 4

I have been telling myself for months everything would be ok once i took time off work ..but i have and nothing's changed .it didn't help at all. Being off did nothing.. Being around friends didn't help..Being alone didnt help having lazy days didn't... View more

I have been telling myself for months everything would be ok once i took time off work ..but i have and nothing's changed .it didn't help at all. Being off did nothing.. Being around friends didn't help..Being alone didnt help having lazy days didn't help..I don't know what's left.I dont wanna be at home i don't wanna go out i don't wanna be around people. I didn't drink less. I didn't wanna try more. Didnt sleep better, eat better. Just felt worse .. been more annoyed being off work, realising more my family are selfish selfentitled little brats that don't deserve my help. My friends are going through hell and im too drunk and preoccupied to act like my caring self .. im nobody right now im not good for work not good for my friends im not a good for my family im not good for myself .friends have suggested i need help, friends have said i need antidepressants other friends have said u won't manage with antidepressants coz u cant drink. I feel like im just in the too hard basket that it doesn't matter either way

Rupes79 Are you living for others?
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone,Can anyone else sympathise with living just to please others? As in you’d prefer not to be here but you understand what it would do to those you leave behind.Then you start the resent them because you hung around just so they don’t have t... View more

Hi Everyone,Can anyone else sympathise with living just to please others? As in you’d prefer not to be here but you understand what it would do to those you leave behind.Then you start the resent them because you hung around just so they don’t have to deal with it.