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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Mr K Losing my grasp on perspective.
  • replies: 2

Some days are better than others but at the moment I feel like my life is slowly slipping out of my control and I'm just feeling utterly overwhelmed and isolated from support. I feel like all my close friends are out of contact, my remaining family m... View more

Some days are better than others but at the moment I feel like my life is slowly slipping out of my control and I'm just feeling utterly overwhelmed and isolated from support. I feel like all my close friends are out of contact, my remaining family my elderly father lives on the other side of the world, my last relationship ended last year and I'm afraid to speak to anyone at work in case the facade falls and they see me as a wreck. As a single dad, i struggle at the best of times to find time for myself let alone time to speak to anyone about this. I feel like my work is starting to really suffer because of my state and I feel overwhelmed trying to put it right and restore confidence. I don't want to end my life and I can't afford to not work but I wish I could just reset things somehow and start again. I don't know how much longer I can last in this constant state of survival. I feel like I'm running out of options and I don't know what else I can do.

Algernon Ciao!
  • replies: 3

I love this word. It means both hello and goodbye I've realised that although I'm well liked I'm not a big priority in anyone's life. When I was younger I was run over a couple of times. The curious thing was no-one helped me. The second time was par... View more

I love this word. It means both hello and goodbye I've realised that although I'm well liked I'm not a big priority in anyone's life. When I was younger I was run over a couple of times. The curious thing was no-one helped me. The second time was particularly bad. The car ran a red light light and just left me for dead. I was knocked out but regained consciousness and crawled back to the footpath. I realised then my life was not worth much. I'm ok with that now. I guess I rub along ok but there's a deep seated flaw in me that means I fundamentally suck. My goal now is to add some value while I'm here and I will do this! I like the anonymity of sharing in this space. No one who reads this knows who I am and will not miss me when I'm gone. There's a comfort in this. Please don't reply with empty words. I just needed to type my dark thoughts somewhere. If you do read this please remember I am not you. My journey is not yours. If you feel sad, feel it! If want to punch a bag, do so! Release your grief or anger knowing that it was ok to feel it in the first place! Take care gentle reader

Magda_5 Struggling mentally
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone. I’m 31 years old and over the past 12 months I’ve been dealing with some really frustrating health issues and can’t seem to get any answers from doctors. All my tests come back clear but I know something is not right in my body. It’s ... View more

Hello everyone. I’m 31 years old and over the past 12 months I’ve been dealing with some really frustrating health issues and can’t seem to get any answers from doctors. All my tests come back clear but I know something is not right in my body. It’s taken a real knock on my confidence and I just feel so ugly and unhealthy. I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself anymore. I have stopped doing all the things I used to enjoy and rarely leave the house now. I’m anxious and depressed everyday and I’m struggling to see a light. I feel so empty and alone and I’m really scared. I’ve had moments of sadness and depression in the past but nothing like this. I’ve had some really awful thoughts about ending it all because I just spend my days crying and wishing it would get better but it never does. I feel like I’m stuck in a deep black hole and can’t see a way out. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.

Tired_Mum Adult son with depression
  • replies: 5

I feel like I'm at my wits end. My son is 20 and has been battling depression since Covid lockdown when he was 16. We saw the doctor and tried pschologists, which werent very helpful. It really spiked around his 18th birthday when he became suicidal.... View more

I feel like I'm at my wits end. My son is 20 and has been battling depression since Covid lockdown when he was 16. We saw the doctor and tried pschologists, which werent very helpful. It really spiked around his 18th birthday when he became suicidal. We saw the doctor, Headspace, acute mental health teams, got a psychiatrist and have tried so many things. He's tried talking therapy, a number of medications, transcranial alternating current therapy, and psychotherapy. I've tried so hard to be supportive, to offer guidance, to listen, to physically be there, to take him out, to make appointments. He seemed to fluctuate - sometimes he's alright and gets along "okay", but he inevitably crashes again. His answer to me is "I just don't want to live in this awful world". He says the only reason he doesn't kill himself is because of me. At the end of last year he quit his job at Coles, saying it was a key factor in wanting to die. The burden of responsibility and working for a multinational organisation (he believes capitalism is the crux of all that is toxic about humanity). He refuses to entertain the notion of working again and says it just isn't for him. We did have some success in future planning - he wants to be an author. But now all he does is sit around and play games, listening to YouTube videos (which he calls "learning") and occasionally writes. He says until he's a millionaire writer, I should support him financially because of his depression. The weight and burden of his depression has been crippling for me personally, but now I just feel burnt out. I'm so tired of his moods and attitude. I'm a single mum and work long hours and currently commute 2.5hrs a day to keep the roof over our head and try to save to buy a house. He contributes nothing, yet he asks for takeaway or junk food all the time. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells so I don't upset him. He's rude and disrespectful to me regularly. Any time I seem to mention something he doesn't like, he throws back something akin to "well, you don't want to die, do you". I'm beginning to hate my life and the responsibility of caring for my adult son, who has no scrap of independence or any on the horizon. How do you cope? Despite all my encouragement to make an appointment with his psych or tweak his meds or make changes, he does nothing and, of course, nothing changes. I feel awful, but I resent him. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I feel so unhappy.

Pink grapefruit Feeling lonely
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am f 50. After migrating to Australia, I have been spending a lot of time for work for a living and I did not do much to make friends. Because of this, I don’t have many local friends and feel quite lonely lately. If I feel this way now, I am a... View more

Hi, I am f 50. After migrating to Australia, I have been spending a lot of time for work for a living and I did not do much to make friends. Because of this, I don’t have many local friends and feel quite lonely lately. If I feel this way now, I am also afraid what would happen after my retirement. I know there are some clubs or activities but I have not had a courage to join them yet. Is it common?

Guest_85326741 My life is falling apart and i'm so sad.
  • replies: 2

I am a couple of months off turning the big 5-0 and I was actually looking forward to it! But over the past few weeks, life has taken a turn to Craptown!In January, i was fired from my job after 10 years of loyal service. Its a rather long story, whi... View more

I am a couple of months off turning the big 5-0 and I was actually looking forward to it! But over the past few weeks, life has taken a turn to Craptown!In January, i was fired from my job after 10 years of loyal service. Its a rather long story, which i won't get into, but basically, I was bullied for a long period of time (more than 5 years) by team leaders. This caused extreme depression and anxiety which affected my ability to do the job to the standards expected. Every person in power ignored my pleas for help. I guess I became too much to handle, so they fired me. I have applied for so many jobs since January. I either get no responses, or i am told "we've decided to go with someone more experienced"... These are customer service roles which i have done for 30 years! How much experience do you need?!! I did have a 2nd interview with a company that was very promising, but it was a group interview. I suffer severe social anxiety, so did not interact in the group as much as they liked, so i missed out on the job. I am now in the position where I have no income and cannot pay rent, or bills or even food! My housemate come home today and told me she will be moving out this week. SO, my only option is to move back home to mum. Moving is also a worry. Without an income, I am unable to move my furniture out of here. Nor do i have anywhere to store a whole house of furniture.On top of that, my parents are both fighting illness, family members are struggling with mental health issues of their own and I am trying to be there to help them all. I do not have any friends - they all got married and had kids and we lost contact. I have never felt lonely. I enjoy being on my own. i have family who are there when I need someone. But now, I feel alone. I feel like life is just getting harder. I am embarrassed at having to crawl home at my age... I am sad. i am disappointed in my housemate for dropping the bomb on me today. Although, i don't blame her. She's a single mum and needs to do what's right for her child. I want to cry. I want to scream. My feelings are everywhere and i don't know what to do. I am so tired. Emotionally and mentally.I am trying to remain positive, but the more "thanks but no thanks" job rejections i get, the more anxious and depressed i get. I thought 2025 and turning 50 would be the best year of my life. How wrong was I?!IT will get better, right? Sorry for such a long post!

Kiminsearchofhappiness My depression like many others started from bullying
  • replies: 8

want to feel good, I DON’T KNOW HOW? my brain keeps falling back into negative thoughts, I have had depression for as long as I can remember, I think it started in primary school and has continued throughout my life. My depression like many others st... View more

want to feel good, I DON’T KNOW HOW? my brain keeps falling back into negative thoughts, I have had depression for as long as I can remember, I think it started in primary school and has continued throughout my life. My depression like many others started from bullying. Many of the people that hurt me are completely oblivious to the fact that they are causing pain. I went through my Facebook and deleted anyone who makes me feel like a lesser version of myself. I like to call these people fair weather friends, they are the ones that are there for you when everything is fine and dandi, but as soon as something better comes along they drop you like a hot potato. If you’re not the coolest or hottest person in the room no one wants to know you. The number of times “friends” have asked me to come out and then said hi and completely ignored me for the rest of the evening is countless, and to be honest terribly disheartening. I'm kind hearted and find it easy to open my heart to new people. This is often my downfall, people take advantage of this and it makes me feel terrible. Throughout my schooling I was the target of school bullies and heartless jokes, (I know everyone says they were bullied but this was the start of my self-loathing), My weight and looks have always been a negatively addressed, fuelled by other peoples nasty comments. I feel that holding onto all the negativity is stopping me from becoming the best version of myself, these people were cruel to make themselves feel better and even though I know this it still hurts me. Some days I look in the mirror and I feel like a waste of space I let all this negativity get on top of me and it feels like I am drowning. These negative thoughts that creep into my head whilst I am trying to get to sleep at night have kept me up for nights on end, when they were happening there was tears and anger and feelings of helplessness. I’m not a confrontational person and I don’t think fast on my feet so most of the time I am left with regret of things I should have said or done, which I’m sure would have made things better at the time but them again the few times I have stuck up for myself I am left feeling negative because I have lowered myself to this level. My last hope was that maybe a strong women or man whose had to overcome many things might have an opinion on this topic and maybe just maybe could contact me, in the hope that my quest for inner happiness and release is not all in vain.

NoOneHere Venting
  • replies: 2

It's been a rough month. I normally just let it pass. But it's been difficult to do this recently. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since i was 13. I was bullied at school for being different. I never cried - i didnt want to give them ... View more

It's been a rough month. I normally just let it pass. But it's been difficult to do this recently. I've been suffering from depression and anxiety since i was 13. I was bullied at school for being different. I never cried - i didnt want to give them the satisfaction. That was until a teacher joined in the bullying - he thought it was funny. This went on from the 3rd to 10th grade - until I moved schools. My home life was not so different. I recall one time, a pencil was left on the floor, my dad saw this and smashed it into the ground. He then pulled out a gun from his drawer and threatened to end things. I was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. There were other instances of this, if not a gun a rifle, if not a rifle a knife. If he lost his temper in the car, he would swerve the car around threatening to crash it. It wasnt all bad though, their behaviour would swing from kindness to intimidation depending on how their day was going. This made it hard to digest my feelings towards them. People are rarely simple. I knew this wasnt normal, but there was no one to talk to and nothing I could do. I'm an adult now. I rarely show emotion or act out of anger - as I saw how that looked and didnt want to be that. I would suppress what i felt - but i now know suppressing is just as bad. I've only started unpacking these things as that the space under the rug where crap gets swept under is at capacity. I'm not looking for advice or guidance, I'm just hoping that sharing will lighten the load enough to get past today - or at least help someone else to share / reach out for help.

Gracie_PY4 Work
  • replies: 2

Hi there, My names Grace. The past couple of months now I’ve been struggling with some depression and bad anxiety about everything in my life pretty much . I’ve been working my way through things with my psychologist slowly. My days however have no j... View more

Hi there, My names Grace. The past couple of months now I’ve been struggling with some depression and bad anxiety about everything in my life pretty much . I’ve been working my way through things with my psychologist slowly. My days however have no joy, I don’t have any hobbies anymore, except gaming and Lego but they fade a bit too. The only thing that brings me joy are watching tv, I guess to distract myself, and family occasions, however that doesn’t really work well. I recently dropped from full time to part time. I really struggle at work. My bosses are hard to work with, they can be condescending and rude sometimes. I feel like I’m failing at a job I’m actually doing well in. This job feels like the same thing everyday, if you know the movie it feels like ‘Groundhog Day’. Everyday is miserable and ongoing. I no longer have the energy to speak to customers or do tasks, or want to turn up. Everyday I have to drag myself out of bed feeling completely miserable knowing I’m going to do the same thing everyday. Even though I’ve become part time it still doesn’t feel different and I don’t feel any better. I am currently looking for a job, no responses from anything and I have no motivation to apply for anything anymore, however the fact that I want to get out of this job. I just feel very unhappy and don’t know what to do. My parents say keep applying but for me that takes so much energy and work, and I always will do it, but I just feel very sad.

Sarah929 Compulsive liar, help!
  • replies: 33

Hi all! I'm new here but my problems aren't new. I'm a compulsive liar. i remember telling little lies when I was younger, like, if something wasn't done or forgotten my mum would say "we will just tell your dad this.." that seemed to be the easy way... View more

Hi all! I'm new here but my problems aren't new. I'm a compulsive liar. i remember telling little lies when I was younger, like, if something wasn't done or forgotten my mum would say "we will just tell your dad this.." that seemed to be the easy way out for everything. As I got older, my lying increased, more so when my parents split and my dad drank a lot and my mum cut me off to spend time with her "friend and his kids" and only wanted to spend time with me when it was convenient. I gradually worked out how to lie to my parents to get what I wanted, whether it was to get out of going to school or to play them against each other. I knew it was wrong but I wasn't getting caught so it was easy. Then my dad found someone he wanted to spend his life with, he became a different person, but I stayed the same. I continued to lie until one day his now wife picked up on it, my dad said "she wouldn't lie" but I was. Always lying about something so that I didn't have to deal with the consequences. The thing that no one tells you is you have to remember every little lie you tell or it's going to come back and bite you on the bum and all that "perfectness" will turn to crap and stopping isn't just as easy as saying "hey I just won't lie anymore" you cannot stop yourself, the words just come out of your mouth and that's it. Another hole you've dug. Fast forward to today, where my lies have dug me into such a deep hole I cannot get back out, I'm anxious, I can't sleep, I'm depresssed, I've lost pretty much everyone that cares about me because of the lies. Today I decided that I'm tired, I'm tired of letting everyone down. I'm tired of feeling this way. I called someone for some help. I have to fix this before my daughter picks up on it and thinks it's okay to live your life this way. It's not. Anyone who's reading this and thinking that a few little lies are okay, it's not, those little lies turn into bigger lies by the second. Then eventually your lying becomes so out of hand that even when youre telling the truth no one believes you. Sorry for the ramble I just needed to get it off my chest. I just feel so alone because of all the lies that I'm left with no one. thanks for reading