I started university in March of last year to study visual
communication, but I'm not sure if it was the right choice for me
because, among other things I've struggled with over the years, I've
always been terrible at writing assignments (like essays...
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I started university in March of last year to study visual
communication, but I'm not sure if it was the right choice for me
because, among other things I've struggled with over the years, I've
always been terrible at writing assignments (like essays and such) and
find it hard to sit down and watch lectures, take notes, pay attention,
or focus.I started last week and am currently in my second semester of a
four-year bachelor's degree. I started experiencing this anxiety at the
beginning of the semester. For example, I have high expectations of
myself and don't want to be perceived as mediocre, but long assignments,
commutes, and decent but not exceptional grades are draining my passion.
In general, the people I study with see their work and how they can
process and execute the work much faster than I can and produce better
results. I wish I had just looked into it more and found better options
before my debt escalated, but now that I'm so far along in my degree, I
feel stuck behind the amount of HECS debt in a field I've lost interest
in. Before my first semester ended, a few people at the university
advised me to take a six-month break, but as much as I would like to,
that will only cause me to fall behind and think of my friends
graduating before me when I could have graduated around the same time or
if I am making my parents proud at all and won't solve the problem. I
want to discuss this with my friends and family, but confronting them
makes me feel even more anxious because I have a fear that I know what
they'll say and I won't get a satisfactory response, or it makes me
realize how much of a burden this is. I'm not sure if I want to drop out
and finish, in part because of the debt. Deep down, I want to make my
family proud of me and not let them down. I know this is what I want to
do or something similar, but the university system is challenging and
stressful for someone like me. Even as I write this, I can't help but
worry about how difficult it will be for me to keep up with the lengthy
tasks. I felt unsatisfied with my life over my semester break since I
felt like my life was the center of the university. I'm not sure if I'm
losing out on life. I'm unsure of the best course of action and what to
do next, such as whether it's better to take a break or keep doing
something I'm beginning to despise. All I want is to be able to stop
working until I'm too old to work and too exhausted to continue living.
I want to be youthful, find something I am passionate about and spend
time with my mates. I simply want to isolate or distance myself and put
it ahead of my friends and family because I'm tired of the strain that
university has put on me. To make my feelings clear. I actually love my
job because it gives me a sense of purpose. I also love my life and the
people in it. However, I feel like I'm wasting my time when I have to
sit in front of a computer and produce, write a report, or do something
else. I feel like I should just stop completing all of these
assignments, lectures, and tutorials because I can find all of this
knowledge online, which is what I do when I'm working on an assignment.
I believe that attending uni is a waste of thousands of dollars and
years of my life, only to be informed that I can use Google to find
knowledge that I already know. So, if anyone has any suggestions, please
share them. It would be greatly appreciated. I appreciate you reading.
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