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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Weaponsofmassdisstortion Cherophobia
  • replies: 1

Cherophobia; meaning an aversion to happiness In the past I would always curse my luck. I would always think to myself; If only things were easier for me, I would've gotten so much further in life by now. Well, here I am. I have finally gotten my wis... View more

Cherophobia; meaning an aversion to happiness In the past I would always curse my luck. I would always think to myself; If only things were easier for me, I would've gotten so much further in life by now. Well, here I am. I have finally gotten my wish. The problem is I seem to have a fear of taking any risks. Especially if it involves improving my situation. I keep thinking that some great diety in the sky is scrutinising me and if things start to get too good for me, than said diety will visit upon something so bad, that the thought of me ever being happy again, will never cross my mind. Yes, I know; This is not logical. This way of thinking doesn't seem to make sense. And I would agree with you. However, I can't seem to think any other way. This seems to be the first time in my life that I have lived without any chaos. But now, I think I don't deserve it. It's as if my only purpose in this world seems to be to soak up all the suffering and pain of everyone around me. Like the laws of physics say, nothing good is ever supposed to happen to me. And once again, I would agree that this doesn't make sense. But I have though this way for as long as I can remember. “She said, 'I'm so afraid.' And I said, 'why?,' and she said, 'Because I'm so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul. Happiness like this is frightening.' I asked her why and she said, 'They only let you be this happy if they're preparing to take something from you.”The kite runner.

Elle 30, happily married, beautiful daughter, but silently struggling with my mental health..
  • replies: 4

Hi all, new member here...struggling at the moment. Every time I have been to see a psychologist in the past, there are so many different issues to discuss, that I've never been able to find the right help. I'm 30 years old, very happily married with... View more

Hi all, new member here...struggling at the moment. Every time I have been to see a psychologist in the past, there are so many different issues to discuss, that I've never been able to find the right help. I'm 30 years old, very happily married with a beautiful 18-month-old daughter, however, I silently suffer with my mental health and I want to be better. I've been stuck in fight or flight my whole life due to past trauma, and I'm tired, so tired. I want to make a change to better myself, not only for me but for my family too. Personal struggles (feels good to finally list them all down in writing) * SA as a child by a family member. Made to keep quiet to not upset the family dynamic, and now I no longer speak to my family because of this. To go along with this, my parents are narcissists, and my mother has been jealous towards me my whole life. Lived in a lower-class home also, couldn't afford school uniforms, lunch boxes etc, so also got bullied for this/always felt I was not deserving of nice things. This mentality sometimes still carries through to my adult life, where I'm always putting others before my own needs. * Drug use in the home when I was growing up, lots of arguments/fights/screaming/silent treatment etc. * I was in a controlling/manipulating relationship for 6 years in my teen years, which ended in him cheating on me. * Suffered from terrible hormonal acne during my teenage years, and lots of body image issues because of this * Had a miscarriage in September 2019, then was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in December 2019, a very difficult year. * I have lots of people in my life whom I'm 'friendly' with, but wouldn't say I have friends. Quite lonely Currently 30, and in the best stage of my life, lots to be thankful for, however, I still am dealing with/processing the above, and it's heavy, a lot to live with day to day. If you've got this far, thanks for reading, nice to know there's someone else out there willing to hear someone else's concerns. Hope you're having a good day.

Nothing___ I feel trapped in my head
  • replies: 2

I don't even know where to start I feel like I have so much in my head and I don't even know what help I want/need or how to ask for it...I feel like I must be choosing this depression because I have a good life, a successful career, I love my family... View more

I don't even know where to start I feel like I have so much in my head and I don't even know what help I want/need or how to ask for it...I feel like I must be choosing this depression because I have a good life, a successful career, I love my family..I have insight into it being an illness but somewhere is a voice telling me that I have no business suffering. I was diagnosed and began medication 20yrs ago..and yet it still is a regular fight. I can hear the rational part in my brain but I have another voice telling me it must just be attention seeking. I have just received a promotion and got overwhelmed and cried at work. I'm terrified that people will really see how substandard and weak I am and that will be the end of it all. I am just so tired.

jules10 feeling stuck
  • replies: 3

I feel like my emotions are all over the place. One day I feel absolutely nothing at all, whereas another, everything hits me all at once and honestly it just makes me want to disappear, whether to another country or simply just vanish out of this wo... View more

I feel like my emotions are all over the place. One day I feel absolutely nothing at all, whereas another, everything hits me all at once and honestly it just makes me want to disappear, whether to another country or simply just vanish out of this world. It's almost like there's this void inside of me that will never get fulfilled because I don't know what can. I don't even know what's wrong with me. Is it because I spend so many years suppressing my emotions (I still am) that I don't know how to properly ask for help, nor knowing what I need help for? I don't know and I feel like I'm stuck and there's nowhere to go.

Lovedmum Sick sore and flat as a tax
  • replies: 9

I feel really silly bothering everyone but I’m so depressed! I’m on a fair amount of medication but can’t seem to get out of this horrible feeling I’m just about to take another week off work to just function! I’m really scared and alone atm as I fee... View more

I feel really silly bothering everyone but I’m so depressed! I’m on a fair amount of medication but can’t seem to get out of this horrible feeling I’m just about to take another week off work to just function! I’m really scared and alone atm as I feel so very ashamed of my condition. But I need to reach out as I’m very physically unwell now as I have lost so much weight which makes it all so much worse for some reason? I’m just lost that’s all, I know I’ll feel better soon but I’m so so sick of this depression popping its ugly self in my life when it wants! The anxiety is crippling first, then the flat mood follows, is this common? Thanks guys for giving me the opportunity to connect to others

Lost_Body So much is wrong and I don't know how to sort it out
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is hard. I don’t know where to start or even how to explain where I am in my world. I have been told I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. I have been told I have depression; I am sitting here crying so I probably do. I have been taking a... View more

Hi, this is hard. I don’t know where to start or even how to explain where I am in my world. I have been told I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. I have been told I have depression; I am sitting here crying so I probably do. I have been taking anti-depressants for 20+ years. I am married to the man of my dreams; we have been together for many years. My second marriage, his first. We are both in our late 50’s. I am not about to take a long walk off a short cliff, but I am really wondering if all this pain and heaviness I am feeling will ever get better. About 4 or so years ago I started to feel like this again and it got a bit out of control and I knew I had to reach out so I saw a Dr and got a mental health plan done. It took me forever to find a psychologist or counsellor who matched my requirements. No one was taking new patients (post pandemic). I ended up just taking anyone who could see me, as I had been trying to book in for a couple of weeks. Even taking a random person I still had to wait about 6 weeks. This person ended up doing more damage to me mentally, triggering me in ways I just had to quit her services immediately. So now here I am. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel so bad for all the things that are wrong in our home. We don’t have the liquid income we used to. My work has reduced my hours from 5 days to 4 days per week. I am also doing less driving for work so the $'s from klm's have disappeared too. My physical health is concerning me. Everything seems to be going wrong. I have no besties that I can talk to about this. My work is WFH, my adult daughters don’t need my crap, they are both damaged from my first marriage and the treatment from their father. I am all alone and I don’t want to burden my husband with this as he doesn’t need the troubles from inside my head either. He has his own issues with work and trying to make ends meet. I am just so lost, sad, lonely and really need to feel normal, better and enjoy life, smile and know I am not a lost hope.

Shosh Cycles of down
  • replies: 2

Hi. I am a senior (old and washed up). At present I am in a situation that is totally new to me. From 9 to 40 I had managed to keep the lid on my secret - married, had 8 children and outwardly was a positive, happy person. However the chink in my arm... View more

Hi. I am a senior (old and washed up). At present I am in a situation that is totally new to me. From 9 to 40 I had managed to keep the lid on my secret - married, had 8 children and outwardly was a positive, happy person. However the chink in my armor was discovered and exposed and that was the beginning of the first downward spiral. I relied on my faith and my friends (who have absolutely no idea what I am dealing with) to get me through. It's pretty easy when you are well-versed in denial. (I deserve an Oscar for my acting abilities!) However, about 10 years ago I was hit with a really intense bout of depression and thus began 8 years of full-on counselling with a sexual assault counsellor. She gave me so much to work with and even though I have never felt victorious I did feel like I was armed with enough stuff that I could should be able to come through anything. At one point I attended a group therapy session and it had a seriously adverse affect on me. Every other person in the group was in one way or another moving forward but I really felt like I was the dunce of the class - no positive growth, just the downward spiral.Fast forward to 3 months ago and here I am, back in another vicious downward spiral only this time there are a couple of added ingredients - I am sure that this must be what I deserve. I have no idea what triggered the depression - but it was something to do with my experience as a 9 yr old. I have a great GP but at the moment all he knows is that I am not in a good place. At this point in time I am so tired that I can't even get it together to piece together my thoughts to talk with him. I feel like I deserve to be where I am - I have a GP who is willing to listen and help, but I don't know how to say what I want to, and add to that the fact that there really is not much that can be done to get me through. I am a waste of people's time, space and energy. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

dwade3 Im finding it hard to see the point anymore
  • replies: 2

It's been a while since my last post, im guessing its been a few months. Things have been up and down, thats as i best as i think i can describe it. I've had moments where i feel like i have a strong desire to take control of my life, to want more fr... View more

It's been a while since my last post, im guessing its been a few months. Things have been up and down, thats as i best as i think i can describe it. I've had moments where i feel like i have a strong desire to take control of my life, to want more from myself, to not let whats been plaguing me the last few years to beat me. About a month or two again, i had maybe the worst depressive episode yet. I wasn't sad or even numb anymore, i was simply tired... That one night my suicidal thoughts were at an all-time high and was less like an option and more like something i was going to do. That feeling of just having enough was overwhelming. i grabbed a knife... i wont get into any more detail because i think you can understand what i was thinking. Luckily those strong feelings never got that me low again. in fact since then, id been maybe the best ive felt in a long time. With my conviction to finally just fight back against my depression. Taking chances with my social life, and working harder in university. Of course ive had lapses during that time too, even as im writing this now i do wonder "what is point" and "what i do hope to achieve with this" And another thing i noticed was my hobbies turning into obsessions. That despite being in a social and healthy hobby, that it was really the only thing that was making me happy in my life, which is a problem. I'd begun fantasizing and neglecting things to pursue this, only to self-realize that im using this hobby as a way to cope opposed to it being a good part of my life, or maybe im just overthinking and that i dont understand what it is But otherwise i guess im okay right now, im going through a relatively light episode but i dont think it's anything i cant handle

Leleina I feel like no one understands
  • replies: 26

Hi... today is an exceptionally blue day. My husband triggered my depression this morning by criticising my priorities. I get it, I made a mistake and I feel so wrong. Then it just started hurting all morning. I became a monster to myself. I don't kn... View more

Hi... today is an exceptionally blue day. My husband triggered my depression this morning by criticising my priorities. I get it, I made a mistake and I feel so wrong. Then it just started hurting all morning. I became a monster to myself. I don't know. I feel like no one understands and I am supposed to voice how I feel but I rather not. And I know, it is all eating me up inside, and I tell myself it's ok it's ok of course it's not but what can anyone do about it. Is it a case of a hurt ego from being told off? Letting the masks fall is making me feel so vulnerable, I rather not feel.

Emotions26 Do not feed the monster
  • replies: 119

I am struggling to understand this website and find my way aroundI have replied to some peopleI think that two champions replied to my first two postsI do not know where they are now I have supported several posts of othersI have replied to one perso... View more

I am struggling to understand this website and find my way aroundI have replied to some peopleI think that two champions replied to my first two postsI do not know where they are now I have supported several posts of othersI have replied to one person I think today I am resonating with several posts in different areas but cannot remember where they are I am literally lost within this website as well as within myself I am working very hard at keeping the dreaded "D" at bay which I have battled with too many times.I have had this since young apparentlyI have had large gaps of time where I am mostly symptom free I think The monster is the dreaded "d"It is also a relative whom I have had to relinquish her hold over me.I have only learnt about this stuff recently so struggle talking about it. So I think of do not feed the monster as in do not think of her. Or do not feel guilty or upset or worry or a thousand other things Also do not feed the dreaded "d" as it lurks waiting I will not find this piece again