Hello and welcome,
Thank you for reaching out to us.
I'm sorry to hear that depression has had such an impact on your life. It's a difficult one to beat and not everyone understands that, there is not enough general knowledge about the effects of mental illness.
I am glad your medication is helping, but I know it is still hard to motivate yourself when it comes to socialising.
Focus on some simple things to begin with, like taking walks in a nature setting. Beach, botanical gardens, lake, forest, large public park, whatever you have close by that you can access on a regular basis. Focus your mind on observing the life around you like trees, animals, birds, people and just acknowledge people if they pass by. This is a type of meditation that can be very beneficial and it may also open a line of communication with someone while you are out walking.
Another small step could be thinking about things you have wanted to learn about or try but didn't have the time in the past. See if you can find a class or a club that you could join to participate in that interest. A hobby or interest can be very helpful with depression because it helps you focus on something else for a time. Plus there is always a chance of interaction with people who have similar interest.
You could also have a look for events in your area that are of interest to you. For example (this may not be your cup of tea) there is a petting zoo this evening in my town and since I love being around animals, I have decided to go.
In my experience, friendships happen by chance rather than when you are actively seeking them.
Through a series of coincidental occurrences, a few months ago I reconnected with someone I knew from school that I haven't seen in 50 years, we didn't even know each other well back then, but a friendship has come from it that I am very grateful for. We live a long way apart but really enjoy our phone conversations and give each other support.
You mentioned you had friends until 2017, is there a chance of resurrecting any of those friendships?
I hope some of this feels helpful to you, please feel free to continue the conversation if you are comfortable.
Take care,
indigo
