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Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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jespancakes Help
  • replies: 2

I just need help, I am experiencing feelings of wanting to end my life.

I just need help, I am experiencing feelings of wanting to end my life.

Paulc1990 Nothing seems to be working out for me
  • replies: 2

My name is Paul, Im 23 years old. Im new to this site and would like to tell you how i ended up here in hopes of finding some advice/help.. in October 2012 I severely broke my left ankle Skateboarding which was very traumatic for me as i needed 3 sur... View more

My name is Paul, Im 23 years old. Im new to this site and would like to tell you how i ended up here in hopes of finding some advice/help.. in October 2012 I severely broke my left ankle Skateboarding which was very traumatic for me as i needed 3 surgeries I was in a cast and not able to walk for 5 months.. At first this didnt seem to bad but the novelty wore off quickly. The entire time was spent watching movies and playing video games by myself as I patiently waited for any of my so called friends to call/text and ask how I was or even hang out.. the entire time i didnt hear from anyone which really started to get me upset. I started smoking marijuana daily to pass the time and get my mind off why nobody cared, I then started feeling worthless and the horrible thoughts about death started. Time passed I did my ankle rehab and started skateboarding and seeing my friends at the skatepark again.. they all asked what i did the whole 5 months and just seem to find my response amusing even though I think it is very sad.things felt like they were starting to turn around until April 24 2013 I broke my right ankle, since this has happened yet again im sitting here alone smoking marijuana alone all day and have barely left the house. I feel worthless everyday and ask myself why it happened to me and most days end up in tears thinking about it all. I know this all sounds pathetic but Skateboarding was my passion for over 10 years and ive known all my mates for around this length of time.. surely you would think somebody I have met in this time would have been there for me at least once. I have been unemployed since the first break and am unsure if I will be able to return to my usual work as a labourer once im healed again, this is another reason for me to feel hopeless. I have nobody to talk to, im not good at anything except skateboarding which at this moment in time im unable to do. and have no hope for gaining work in any other industry as i have no experience. I am to embarrassed to go talk to somebody face to face about this all and dont no where to go for help.

jim It just keeps getting worse
  • replies: 9

Ok where to begin... I know i have posted on here before but my depression is getting worse and thought that i would post in here again to try and get some help i am seeing a psychiatrist but all he seem to focus on is my being gay... Oh i am gay i s... View more

Ok where to begin... I know i have posted on here before but my depression is getting worse and thought that i would post in here again to try and get some help i am seeing a psychiatrist but all he seem to focus on is my being gay... Oh i am gay i should have said that. So all he seems to want to talk about is my homosexualty keeps saying i havent dealt with it witch i have.. just lately i cant seem to snap out of it i am sick of feeling this way nothing i do is helping i go for walks i go to work nothing is helping im at a loss and am really thinking of ending it i just can not cope any longer.

wh129 The first step to getting help
  • replies: 2

I've felt the way I do for years, in fact - I cannot remember a time in my life where I have been completely happy. I had a difficult childhood, plagued with the sickness of my mother (cancer), and her eventual death 2 weeks before my 12th birthday. ... View more

I've felt the way I do for years, in fact - I cannot remember a time in my life where I have been completely happy. I had a difficult childhood, plagued with the sickness of my mother (cancer), and her eventual death 2 weeks before my 12th birthday. To sum it up, my childhood was quite a traumatic time for me, and not something I enjoy looking back on. Since then, my father has also had health scares (heart attacks), and recently, doctors have also found cancer. These and other events in my life have affected me throughout high school, but in the past year have really caught up with me. I have never talked to anyone properly about my mother’s death, not even my family. I feel like these feelings have festered inside of me the past 8 years. I am turning 20 soon, and I no longer have the strength to fight this battle - I need help and I want to change. I am finding it so hard to write down exactly how I am feeling, but I know that the way I feel is not normal. I feel an array of emotions, from anger to despair, no matter the situation in my life. I have never been able to talk about my feelings with other people, not even my family. I have found that my childhood experiences have actually pushed me away from my immediate family, and I do not feel comfortable sharing my feelings with them. I am sick of pushing people away in my life, and feeling as though I ruin everything. I am terrified of judgement, and I am terrified to actually see my GP or a health professional like I know I should. What if they tell me I am making a big deal out of nothing? Or that the way I am feeling is completely normal? I am so scared of people not believing me, that I would almost rather not say anything at all. Eventually will these feelings go away? I have a lot to be grateful for in my life, like a loving boyfriend, beautiful friends and a university education in my ideal field. But I still feel so empty. I often lie in bed until 4pm, and I have found that I no longer get pleasure out of things I used to enjoy. I cry over small things, and spend many a nights alone, crying in bed. I can’t even go out with my friends and feel happy anymore, I just want to be at home by myself, where I am free to think and feel. I have an amazing boyfriend who has never done wrong by me, but I can’t even be a proper, loving girlfriend to him as I am so unhappy myself. How am I supposed to make a relationship work 100%, when I can’t even be happy by myself? My uni work is suffering, as I no longer put in the effort or time that I know I should, but I don’t even care. I think to myself so often, “What is the point?” All the different aspects in my life make me feel as though I am suffocating, and I can no longer keep this to myself. I need and want help. I am supposedly in the prime years of my life, but I can’t help but feel I am wasting them. I do not want to look back on my life and realise the opportunities I have missed are a result of me not getting the help I know I need. I know these feelings are not normal, and I so desperately want to be happy but I feel so alone that I don’t know where to go from here.

DebA Slip sliding away
  • replies: 2

That's the song that comes to mind when I slip up (or down is more like it). Hi...I am new to this site and these forums and I am astounded and sadly comforted by the people and stories on here. My story is so similar that it's not really worth menti... View more

That's the song that comes to mind when I slip up (or down is more like it). Hi...I am new to this site and these forums and I am astounded and sadly comforted by the people and stories on here. My story is so similar that it's not really worth mentioning but here goes anyway.... Looking back I can see I had depression from early on in life. The teenage years were tough. I was sexually abused by a family member. Abused and neglected by parents who were upstanding members of the community. Yep even the 'rich' kids can have it tough. I was drinking and smoking by the age of twelve just to try and get some attention from anyone. By fourteen I'd been raped as I was passed out drunk in a bus stop. Still no help came my way. I married in my early 20's to try and create the family and love I so desperately craved. I have two gorgeous kids but not surprisingly no hubby anymore. I have few friends and can go a week or more without my phone ringing or anyone contacting me. I am sad and I am desperately lonely. I was first diagnosed with post natal depression after the birth of my second child and have been on and off the medication for 12 years. I have two mental breakdowns in that time, both caused by the loss of a relationship which I do not handle well. So badly in fact I have sworn off ever entering another relationship. I have no long lasting friendships even though I crave them. Don't get me wrong...I'm not a bad person. I'd do almost anything for anyone. But apparently I'm too...depressing! LOL. The problem being I talk too much. I talk because I'm trying to find out what is normal and what is not. I was going along ok the last few months. There's been a couple of bumps in the road but considering I'm unmedicated at the moment I thought I handled it well. That was until last week...then the anxiety kicked in. It was like nothing I've experienced before. It was horrid. And a week later the depression is here again. Yesterday I couldn't even shower or get off the couch. I just lay there and cried and wondered why no body loved me or wanted to be near me. Ironic really. I am a single mum. I work part time and I'm at uni full time. And I'm getting a wee bit too close to 40! The loneliness is overwhelming and never ending. Give me cancer. Give me diabetes. Give me anything but this horrid condition. xx

DebA Slip sliding away
  • replies: 1

I typed a massive bio last night but it doesn't appear to have loaded for some reason?? Anyway...I'm here and I'm sadly comforted by how many others are here too. xx

I typed a massive bio last night but it doesn't appear to have loaded for some reason?? Anyway...I'm here and I'm sadly comforted by how many others are here too. xx

SteveLC777 My depression situation - anyone out there with the same as me?
  • replies: 1

I have been out of work for 5 years. I don't go out. I have no friends I can just call. All my friends are either on-line, or are family friends via my wife. Overweight. Feelings that I may have become cynical in the last 10 years, though others tell... View more

I have been out of work for 5 years. I don't go out. I have no friends I can just call. All my friends are either on-line, or are family friends via my wife. Overweight. Feelings that I may have become cynical in the last 10 years, though others tell me I am not. Suggestions that it may be paranoia. I don't feel worthless, but I always feels that others are, and not me. I believe this is a vengeance-based feeling due to how I have been treated by others most of my life. Beginning to see the fact that I may have depression and that I don't want it. I know in my intellect that I have to think positively and to see the silver lining in everything, but I do not know how to put this into practice in real life. Can anyone let me know what to do about all of this? Thanks, Steve

Dagebow Lost
  • replies: 2

Hi all. New to the forum but not the world of the black dog unfortunately. 2005 was when I first sought help after a difficult break up and after seeing a counsellor, we managed to work out that I had been suffering a mild form of depression since my... View more

Hi all. New to the forum but not the world of the black dog unfortunately. 2005 was when I first sought help after a difficult break up and after seeing a counsellor, we managed to work out that I had been suffering a mild form of depression since my teens. The sessions helped, I came off the anti-depressant and armed with some new knowledge resumed life. The black dog returned around 2009 - poor sleep, emotions running hot and cold, low self esteem - the normal drill I guess. Sought help, saw a psychologist who didn't really help but I got back on my feet and with the odd period using st. john wort I managed ok. Lately, due to a rough patch with a good friend, stress at work and life in general the black dog has returned. The up and down emotions, the self doubt, the lack of confidence and diving deeper into work to keep my mind off things. My mum has a form of depression, maybe its in my DNA? I have few friends, none that I can really open up to - I live alone, work is my social outlet as well as some volunteer work but I do feel alone and lost in this world. I am sure many do, many others are in so much more pain than me - it doesn't make it any easier knowing that however. I hope everyone here finds the support they need.

Easy_D Start of my journey for help
  • replies: 5

So I'm writing this to give myself something to do. I know I should change what I'm doing - get out of the house, go to the gym, do something! But if I wasn't writing this email I would be sitting on the couch thinking. This has become a dangerous pa... View more

So I'm writing this to give myself something to do. I know I should change what I'm doing - get out of the house, go to the gym, do something! But if I wasn't writing this email I would be sitting on the couch thinking. This has become a dangerous past time of mine. Now that I am unable to even think about doing any of my uni work I have time on my hands. This time that I have is very unproductive. I can't think about all the things I should be doing and how I just can't do them. This is excellent fuel for my depression. It gives me all this evidence as to why I am so useless and bad at life and lazy and not worth the air I breathe. Because, at the end of the day, I don't want to be here. It's not like there is a place that I do want to be either. I don't want to be anywhere. I don't want to exist. So why haven't I killed myself? It's something I have put off a few times. The first time that I realised that I didn't particularly want to be here was a very strange experience. I didn't consider myself suicidal. I didn't really consider myself to be anything. I just wished I wasn't me and I considered ways to end it - but I never did. I guess things never got that bad. That was when I was 19. Last time I was depressed I decided to make a change and go back to uni. I told myself that if I still wasn't happy after that then I could go for it and finally end it. In between these times I have been depressed on and off. It has been going on for 10 years. Now it's back. Again. And it's worse. Then something really annoying happened. Someone in my extended family committed suicide. This was also very sad, don't get me wrong, but the strongest emotion I have felt about this was annoyance. Why? Because now I know first hand what it's like to watch family and friends after a loved one has committed suicide. It is the hardest thing to understand for them. If it was cancer or an accident or something else a person's brain can justify and understand. But when it's suicide it's like this person has basically decided that their friends and family aren't worth sticking around for. Or at least that is what it feels like to be friends and family. I know this is not the case. If I was to kill myself it would be for a plethora of other reasons but I have stuck around so long because of my friends and family. Certainly not because I enjoy life. Now, the annoying thing for me is that suicide isn't even an option any more. Not after seeing how horrific it is to those left behind. So this escape plan that was there if things got really really bad has been removed. And I have to find a way to keep on going. I started throwing myself into things that I enjoyed. Exercise, spending money, chocolate. I soon noticed that I wasn't really enjoying these things I was just taking a time out in between feeling miserable. I found myself craving to be around people so I wouldn't feel so alone. But more and more it seems that whenever I'm around people I am just disappointed that I am unable to connect or even interact like a normal human. And I feel like they should be able to see how messed up I am. That they should ask me if I'm OK. But they don't. I feel like I have to fake it because surely I am already dead inside. I feel like I'm probably pretty great at faking it, too. I have realised that I can't keep going like this and I am ill equipped to even help myself any more. And I'm not even able to consider suicide anymore. Geez! Something has to change - so I asked for help. Open the friggin floodgates. It turns out I had been doing a splendid job of ignoring exactly how bad I had been feeling. Now that I'm in the process of getting help I have been unable to ignore these feelings anymore. All of the things I have been trying so desperately not to feel are roaring around my head. It's funny how it hits me. Every so often I am overcome by a wave of sadness and hopelessness. It is horrible and distracting. It makes it impossible to complete even the simplest of tasks. This wave is accompanied always by the thought that I wish I wasn't here. But here I am. And I sure hope this is rock bottom. PS. I have seen the GP, been prescribed anti-depressants and I see a psychologist in three days. I don't need people to tell me to live and blah blah blah. I'm putting this up here because if others who feel just the same as I do read this they will know they are not alone and maybe gain the courage to find help too.

thadeedz Feeling really scared
  • replies: 2

Hello I am new to all this online forums and stuff, but Im just putting this out there, I didnt think I was depressed, but now Im feeling like it cant be anything else. I am always so angry when I do the slightest thing wrong, such as spill something... View more

Hello I am new to all this online forums and stuff, but Im just putting this out there, I didnt think I was depressed, but now Im feeling like it cant be anything else. I am always so angry when I do the slightest thing wrong, such as spill something, and over the weekend, everytime I did something like that I got so angry started yelling then just broke down in tears. I also suffer bouts of what I can admit is anorexia, I am currently 54 kgs but whenever I look in the mirror, I just see a fat woman staring back, I try not to talk about my weight with my family, they get upset when I call myself fat, its not that I think Im fat so much, I just feel fat, whether I have a medical condition that makes me feel bloated and weighed down or what I dont know. I always feel tired and unmotivated to do anything, and can have trouble sleeping too. I also have a very low sex drive which is really taking its toll on my relationship, my partner thinks that I dont have any feelings for him anymore, which isnt true, I just feel like I hate myself and my body Are all these symptoms related to depression or could it be other underlying medical conditions and if so what is the best way to help me recover, Im a little scared to go to a doctor and get medication I dont like to take too many drugs Thank you for any help