Hi. I'm new here.

[kford]

Hello. Just thought I'd write a quick post since I'm new. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 20 and my first relationship was breaking down. But I think it had been around since my mid-teens. (I'm 37 now.) It's been a rough road but I've managed to get a degree, work, marry and have children. Eighteen months ago, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time and was diagnosed with dysthymia. Suddenly it all made sense. I thought I was just lazy and ungrateful. I knew that my life was good, but I didn't FEEL it. I was forever searching for the next thing to make me happy. I bought a home. I got a dog.  I got married. I got a second degree. I got a better home. I had a baby. But none of these things made me happy. I had all the 'trappings' but I still felt empty inside. And incredibly selfish for not appreciating things I did have. Since going on different medication, life has improved so much. I no longer felt miserable without reason. Unfortunately, I now have reason - it looks like I may be made redundant in the next couple of months. I hate to admit it, but my work is the only thing in my life that I feel good at. I love my husband and kids, but I'm a pretty mediocre wife and mother. The thought of losing my job has really got me in a spin. I'm trying to work out what feelings are 'normal' ones and what is the dysthymia. Frankly, the meds must be working, because usually I would be a wreck. Anyway, that's the guts of my story. Thanks for listening (reading).

[geoff]

dear Kford, hello and thanks for joining us.

It seems as though it's been an up and down life for a long time.

Your comment' I'm a pretty mediocre wife and mother' could be part of your dysthymia condition, as I have read about it on the net.

From an outsider you have achieved a great deal, but this illness won't let you enjoy any of it.

Losing a job that you love is only a natural feeling of despair, however it may also be linked to your illness, but from what I read on this comment is that the medication is working (terrific), but what I am worried about is that if you do lose this job do you have any other plans.

Is it possible to work part-time at this existing job, as they may get on their feet again, in which you will just slip back into being full time.

I am also interested in whether you have read a lot of material on your illness, and by doing so there maybe some ideas on how to overcome or help to improve your  dysthymia. L Geoff. x