Just nothing (that is all)

[Bright_Spark]

I go to work, race home, watch telly, eat and sleep, but I don't often get to sleep because I've passed the day in such a dull drudgery that it's impossible.  How can I get to sleep if I haven't truly woken up yet?

Anyway, I don't know if I'm asking for help here.  I won't try to make my issue seem worse than it is.  Basically though, I just don't feel anything.  I can't love other people.  I can dislike others in that I don't want to be around them but I don't actually hate anyone.  I don't like animals and don't think puppies are cute.  It's just all the same.  I like talking to my friends just as much as I like eating an apple. 

I can get angry and lash out at myself for leaving something in the other room (eg) and I can yell at the telly but I can't really enjoy things anymore.  This is why I don't go out.  If it weren't for my need to work or eat, I wouldn't leave home.

So the question is, how can I get motivation back????

How can I get excited about anything again????

[S_A_D_]

Look for the incentive to do one thing instead of another.

You are incapable of doing nothing. I've tried it. The human brain has a latent electrical charge, firing neurons even when it has nothing to do. Even when you think you're not thinking, like your mind is blank, you're still thinking, and thinking is something you do.

It's more complicated than that, of course. It always is. I've tried being as physically inactive as possible, but their are neurons, like the neurons in your brain, spread throughout your body. They're called motor neurons, and they are also firing, even when they don't need to. I have discovered from experience that if your capable of movement, whatever part of you that can move needs to move. Not all the time, but enough.

So the question is not "whether to do or not to do." The question is what to do. Do you do this or that? Do you do here or there? What you do is an expression of how you are being, your attitude, your state of mind, your personality, and your physical limitations and capabilities. What you do can be based on what you want to do (approach), or based on what you know you don't want to do, which leave obvious choices (avoidance). If your choosing to approach actions that are the opposite to what you choose to avoid, generally you'll do it without thinking twice. If your approach and avoidance motivations are about the same thing, like you want it in some ways but not others, you're in an Approach-Avoidance conflict. You'd also be in conflict if you want to approach two different and opposing things (Approach-Approach conflict), or to avoid two or more equally unpleasant possibilities in a situation (Avoidance-Avoidance conflict). 

It's very difficult, if not impossible, to have no motivations, approach or avoidance. To have no feelings about something one way or another. Complete impartiality, absolute objectivity. If you can reach this state, you have a rare and beautiful gift. You could be the world's best conflict negotiator, to see something from every possible angle and perspective, and still be impartial. That would be truly amazing! That would be to have the power of God.

Where on Earth am I going with all this? 

Make some choices about what you want and what you like, and also decide what you don't want and don't like. Get clear about what your approaching, and what you're avoiding, and what you're in conflict about. It might help to write this down or make a spreadsheet in Excel. Clarify as much as possible what motivates you, in as much detail as possible.

Pace yourself. A little bit each day is enough. It's like climbing a mountain or performing surgery. It's a process with structure. Start with just one thing. Like TV. What are your reasons for watching TV? Is it educational? Does it keep you up to date on current affairs? Does it make you laugh, cry, feel? Is it an effective distraction? Are there any other approach reasons? Does it help you forget about the harm and pain? Does it help you avoid talking to people that make you feel bad? Are there other avoidance motivations?

Try applying this to things you're thinking of maybe trying in the future. What about things you've done in the past but don't do any more. Do you want to try doing something you've never done?

Life is an adventure. This journey is, at least partly, about trying new things, deciding what you like, and doing those things more, deciding what you don't like, and staying away from those things.

You've gotta make some hard decisions, and as I said at the beginning, the least difficult way to do that is to look for the incentives you have for choosing one thing over another.

[Damien]

Hello Bright Spark,

Great name!  🙂

What yu are describing is "anhedonia" or the inability to feel or experience pleasure.  It's one of the key symptoms/indicators of Depression and comes with the magic words of :"if you have been feeling like this for more than two weeks...".  

So, have you?  More than two weeks?  Even if you aren't exactly asking for help, and I don't think you're overdoing it here with what you've said, it suggests to me that you might want to tell your GP what you've told the forum and consider that you might have some Depression happening there.  Hopefully the doctor will be able to point you toward some lifestyle changes, (more walking and water, less tv and alcohol, blah blah blah), and some positive thinking exercises.

"Just nothing" is actually the key to Depression, days full of "Meh" are what we look for in helping people get above this.  Everyone has an off day here or there, but string twenty or so in sequence and that points to something happening which shouldn't be, either a crap situation in life.or something weird happening in your brain chemistry.  If your life hasn't drastically altered in the lats month or so, (nan died, new job, girlfried left you and took the dog with her), and yet you feel like that sort of thing has happened then get yourself off to the GP for a chat.

🙂

Bless.

[S_A_D_]

You continue to surprise and impress me Damien. Brilliant post. FYI, that is dead on correct. The two weeks thing is a guideline, some say 20 days, some say it is noticeable after only 11 days if supported by other indicators. Obviously, the higher the number the higher the probability, and there is no practical difference between people who say 20 days and others who say 15 years, except to indicate recurrance.

Keep up the great work.