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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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cazza tired of a cruel world
  • replies: 2

hay I know I am messed up have anxiety depression cant stop cleaning at all hours of the night and day my family have notice it I even go to my to my mums and clean god I don't want her to know I feel this bad always tried to protect her and my littl... View more

hay I know I am messed up have anxiety depression cant stop cleaning at all hours of the night and day my family have notice it I even go to my to my mums and clean god I don't want her to know I feel this bad always tried to protect her and my little sisters my mum left my dad when I was 13 we went to live with nana and pop I thought we were going to b safe but that was a living hell mum had 9 brothers and to sisters it was not long before her dad was sexual abusing me but I did want to tell mum I felt ashamed and did not want her to go back to dad and get bashed to death always had to help she was so loving but it all came out 1 year later nana called me a hoar 4 god sake I was a 14 year old girl and then the un think able she went back to dad well I told her nothing happened but it did and dad a raging man beat her again to this day mum thinks her dad a nice bloke well I kept that all to my self until my sister had twin girls took me a little while then she told she was going to see them well her girl were 2 I told her don't hate me but don't let that monster near your kids I would not let my son out of my site let alone any where near my boy but when I saw nana I could see the sorrow in her heart so I didn't tell anyone until last year when I did see her all she could say was sorry I think all that pain has not helped pop is still alive I wont feel safe until he dies still have nightmares about it and I am 35 now always have wanted to end it but the guilt of putting my mum though any more pain keeps me alive when I had my son he saved me I was cold to the world had tuned off until I had him I could never under stand how they all could hurt the ones you r suppose to protect is life really worth living if I have to lose my house I don't know what I will do

downwardspiral Feeling Hopeless
  • replies: 3

Last week I attempted suicide, hospitalized me overnight. Into therapy now. Battled with depression on and off for the last 10 years. Last night I had another breakdown, dark thoughts etc. Marriage is breaking down, which is the main reason for the s... View more

Last week I attempted suicide, hospitalized me overnight. Into therapy now. Battled with depression on and off for the last 10 years. Last night I had another breakdown, dark thoughts etc. Marriage is breaking down, which is the main reason for the spiral. Struggle to get out of bed every morning. Everything is a struggle. Don't enjoy anything anymore. Have a therapist, doesn't seem to be helping at all. Work sucks more than usual, which i'm struggling to keep up with because I dont care anymore. I really dont know what to do. Hardly eating, feel sick in the stomach 24/7. Really struggling here.

Shifte Please read
  • replies: 8

Coming up to my 30th birthday, I fell more alone and confused than ever. I have no direction in life let alone motivation, I dont know really where to start to try and explain why i am the way i am now. from sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse... View more

Coming up to my 30th birthday, I fell more alone and confused than ever. I have no direction in life let alone motivation, I dont know really where to start to try and explain why i am the way i am now. from sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, drug use, abandonment, bad paranoia. I hate having no money yet when i get money i cant keep it. I cant keep a job because i think everyone hates me or is talking about me or i cant get out of bed. i cant be happy because it feels unnatural to be happy. 2009 i moved from Melbourne to Sydney to get away from a toxic relationship i was in. i tried to harm myself and was in and out of hospital for that whole year. large doses of mood stabilisers and antidepressants...i was a walking zombie. Diagnosed with bipolar then schizoaffectve disorder. then borderline personality disorder. wtf is wrong with me? i hate people i hate life i hate i hate i hate i hate. And i hate that i hate. I know i have a good heart but feel everything and everyone is against me. I got off my anti depressants 4 months ago to try and snap out of this no motivation no sex drive and no creativity. Well now i feel back to square one and have no clue what to do. Honestly i just put this out here to see what responses i get and how people think i should go about my problems. Thanks Adam.

PMMASE Confused...
  • replies: 7

I'm not too sure how this may help, but I guess expressing myself via writing is better than not expressing myself at all right? Because I feel that I cannot express myself in any other way, such as talking to someone about my thoughts and emotions. ... View more

I'm not too sure how this may help, but I guess expressing myself via writing is better than not expressing myself at all right? Because I feel that I cannot express myself in any other way, such as talking to someone about my thoughts and emotions. Don't get me wrong, I do have wonderful people around me, but I don't want to worry them...I don't know, it might just upset them? This post might be ‘everywhere’ because I’m just writing what I am thinking. Today is one of the worser months...I just felt so overwhelmed with everything that I had to cry it out. Usually it would be just a low mood or even frustration with prior events that may have happened, but then this would lead me to constantly think back to it and worsens my mood or frustration (I dont even know if this is making any sense..). It's like, I am down and/or erratic and/or anxious. I just get so tired of trying (for anything) sometimes. I guess in a way I get tired of being me because I feel that nothing is going right for me...I mean..is there something wrong with me that I am unable to work and study? I get overwhelmed, whereas other students manage fine. I used to work two jobs but since beginning of this year I felt like it would be too stressful for me to handle. Compared to my friends, I am quite incompetent. They all have jobs, go out when they want to and simply have fun. I, on the other-hand, am always worried about going out and having fun because I just don't have the ability to do so – financially and parents. And I feel bad for boyfriend who usually has to deal with my emotional outbreaks because whenever I am having these emotions, even the littlest things he does or say will just set me off even more - only to cause us to argue. He is a wonderful and caring person, that is why - even though he is the person I always turn to - I cannot put this kind of pressure on him (and also family), to have them constantly worrying about me will just make me feel guilty. But I don't know...sometimes they are the reasons why I get overwhelmed and overly-anxious (particularly my parents who are most restrictive on me compared to my other siblings - it's not that I am the youngest either). Not to mention adding the pressure being the typical Asian parents they are. And this is the reason I have become a member of Beyondblue. I have noticed that this happens about once a month and some months are worse than others, where I would just cry in bed for that day. Or maybe it's just because of the usual 'pms' that girls/woman have going on? Maybe I'm just over-thinking things, thinking that I have a problem because I have studied about mental health issues. Perhaps I just think that I may have a mental health issue, when I really don't? Or is it just me complaining..?

Azza102 Someone help me...
  • replies: 3

Hi, I suppose that I will start from the start, I am 17 years old, when I started attending High school I have been bullied every day that I was at that school, anything from being called names that you would think shouldn't take offence to, like Fis... View more

Hi, I suppose that I will start from the start, I am 17 years old, when I started attending High school I have been bullied every day that I was at that school, anything from being called names that you would think shouldn't take offence to, like Fish, (In reference to my abnormally large eye sockets) or pizza, (In reference to my severe acne) but to myself I personally took offence. and the bullying continued getting worse, and phyical, from year 8-10 I was repeatably beaten, I would constantly go home with cuts and bruises, and at a few stages I actually had an eye socket hairline fracture, and fractured ribs also resulting in lung infections. But when ever I took the problem to the school teachers or social worker, they assumed I was doing something to encourage it, but I wasn't, I was that kind of kid who sat at the back of the class playing games or doing work, I never started anything... After I finished my year 10 at the school, I left the school, and during the end of year holidays, I was beaten by my dad. the first time I was punched in the eye, resulting in a cut bellow my eye, a black eye, and a hairline fracture in my eye socket. I was in hospital for 2 days after, and after I was released I went back home. and in less than a months time, myself and my Dad got into another argument. resulting in my dad hitting myself again, punching me in the jaw this time dislocating it. I then moved to Melbourne to live with friends, after 2 months my friends mum kicked me out, for no reason, just told me I wasn't welcome anymore... so I then argued with her and ended up fleeing or my life when my 'friend' threatened to kill me if I didn't leave. so I left, and went once again back to live with my parents. there was no confrontation after I had taken the measure of taking out a intervention order against my Dad and Mum. so that they couldn't hit me of my brothers. even after this it still wasn't working out so I moved again to live on the coast. and started going to Tafe to avoid the bullies associated with mainstream schools... and all was going reasonably well, until my friend past away, I had known him since primary school and he was a close friend and he was in a crash, his car hit by a semi truck. And myself being an SES volunteer, I was called out to the job, when I got there I saw his car, started thinking that he might not have been driving, because he shares a car with his girlfriend, still not good, but yea... I walked up to the car, saw him, and dropped the Jaws of life that I was holding and dropped to the ground crying, when the others got him out I went up to the paramedics that were at the scene, and was told he had passed... I was then sent home, that was 2 weeks ago, and I still haven't left my home, I even got my groceries delivered. I won't accept visitors and my phone has been turned off. I just don't know what to do.... please, help me...

Memphis Finally all too much, and now seeking help
  • replies: 5

Hello, I am new here and new to admitting that finally it is all too much for me. This may or may not read easily, but considering my state of mind and how emotionally exhausted I am, I will just start typing and see what comes out. I have been strug... View more

Hello, I am new here and new to admitting that finally it is all too much for me. This may or may not read easily, but considering my state of mind and how emotionally exhausted I am, I will just start typing and see what comes out. I have been struggling for the last few months with being me, I feel incomplete and lost which is strange because I have two amazing kids and a beautiful wife, a good job and some great friends. But for some reason I can't concentrate, so I have 3-4 tasks on the go at once, none of which get completed, even simple tasks have become to much for me to start and then finish. I get so anxious about everything that often I start to feel sick to my stomach which is starting to becomes life affecting. It has also started to lead to me thinking things like, my wife is going to cheat on me so I become angry at her for no real reason, except a silly thought that I don't have the emotional to fight and as a result I give her the silent treatment. Finally my wife sat me down the other night and made me talk to her about what was going on, and besides laying on the bed crying all I could I say to her was I am and had been for a while a bad husband and terrible father. Obviously she asked for more details or for me to express more about why I felt like that or what I exactly meant by my comments, but my mind is such a mess that I can't verbally explain how I feel to her. Even today, after another silent treatment because those negative thoughts about her entered my head, I cant find the word to verbally explain what/how I feel about me, or what is going on in head. I guess by writing this I hope for two things, advice on how to describe to my wife what/how I feel and that by writing this post it is further confirmation that I am passed just self help or self healing and I need for my and my families sake, help, so I will go see my doctor asap to seek some professional guidance but any advice is appreciated. Thanks..

notanounceofenergy tired and overwhelmed
  • replies: 6

As a mum to four beautiful kids, I can't help feel that I am letting them down. I have so little energy that I am not able to involve myself in their lives as much as they deserve. I am so tired, I am unable to keep my house tidy- much to my husbands... View more

As a mum to four beautiful kids, I can't help feel that I am letting them down. I have so little energy that I am not able to involve myself in their lives as much as they deserve. I am so tired, I am unable to keep my house tidy- much to my husbands.horror. I am so overwhelmed! I take my meds everyday, but I feel as if slowly but surely I am slipping under. I need to find my enthusiasm again, I need to get my zip back. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need some ideas on how to be happy, I would like to know why I feel so flat... Arrrggghhh! I love my kids so very much xx

slaughterhouse isolation
  • replies: 3

i am depressed, well more very sad most of the time. i'm isolated and have been for some time now. life has always been this way for me, it's a situation with systemic abuse that has been identified and is being investigated. there are some very bad ... View more

i am depressed, well more very sad most of the time. i'm isolated and have been for some time now. life has always been this way for me, it's a situation with systemic abuse that has been identified and is being investigated. there are some very bad services out there, but these days, the police are able to protect me from most of the harm they continue to try to effect upon me. but at the same time, i've been very much slandered and maligned, my character has been sullied and dragged through the mud. at the height of it, health services were saying i was violent toward my girlfriend when i wasn't. it was a bit of a battle to get that stigma to go away and in the end, the director of mental health lost his job over it. so, things are progressing and i keep chipping away, doing research and presenting evidence. that's great. but personally, i feel so very sick with it all. very sad, no happiness, few distractions and then i have no social contact or support. none. i'm restless don't sleep well, up and down. the anxiety, the fear i suffer. at the moment i'm fighting false charges in court another agency has leveled at me, it's tricky but the police report they made is obviously false, i expect they will end up wearing the trouble. the courts seem to be on my side, i respect people, have empathy and understanding. that i live my life by vicarious means, that personally, i have nothing. can't seem to change it or get past it. i have contact with people at times, but they get manipulated or influenced by external sources and turned against me. even become aggressive and seek to cause me harm, disadvantage and bring falsehoods against me. i'm just tired of feeling like this, going through the day like a robot without any hope, happiness or feeling that things may one day get better, i might have friends or people can just accept me for what i am rather than the lies that have been presented against me. doesn't matter what i say or do, i'm just dismissed, shunned and denigrated. how can i feel better or function like this?

Nirvana2013 ADHD & Depression
  • replies: 4

Hello all,I'm new to the site I have suffered depression since I can remember at least back when I was at pre-school I am now 48 yo I am also ADHD which was diagnosed 18 months ago ( to my relief ) giving me some understanding as to what was wrong wi... View more

Hello all,I'm new to the site I have suffered depression since I can remember at least back when I was at pre-school I am now 48 yo I am also ADHD which was diagnosed 18 months ago ( to my relief ) giving me some understanding as to what was wrong with me I have a good job a couple of very close good friends & 2 gorgeous teenage boys who are my world & whom I frustrate like crazy & sometimes think they would be better off without me (though I know this is not true) it is a constant struggle to keep tricking the mind to think positive & stay on top of things. As I have not been on medication for depression for the last 5 years I'm wondering is it possible & do others battle on without medication? Any advise will be kindly appreciated.

aimstar Where to find hope?
  • replies: 2

Where do I find hope? I just can't believe I will get the things I desire from life. I try so hard to be a good person, and I've had a heap of shit chucked my way. I just can't seem to find the belief that everything will turn out ok. It just all see... View more

Where do I find hope? I just can't believe I will get the things I desire from life. I try so hard to be a good person, and I've had a heap of shit chucked my way. I just can't seem to find the belief that everything will turn out ok. It just all seems dull, dreary, a grey road to nowhere. I'm alone and need a huge hug right now.