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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Whydidudoit Feeling lost b
  • replies: 1

Anyone else just feel lost?cause that's how I feel about now ,I have a close friend I can talk to about anything and my younger sister and brother will listen to me.but the rest of my family I just feel stupid telling them how I feel!today I have my ... View more

Anyone else just feel lost?cause that's how I feel about now ,I have a close friend I can talk to about anything and my younger sister and brother will listen to me.but the rest of my family I just feel stupid telling them how I feel!today I have my worthless feeling day like I can do no good. and yes I had a couple of drinks just so I can express myself or else I couldn't i went to the doctor when I first started feeling anxiety on that day I quit my job instead of driving to work I drove to the doctors I just wanted someone to help me he only told me that I should get out more do extra cirruculm activities which I did do I played soccer but that still didn't help I felt there was no where I could turn..until my mum spoke to her doctor about me and he told her to bring me in that's when I felt finally someone would listen to me! He prescribed me medication for my anxiety !i never knew I had anxiety until that day I always thought it was just a feeling of something bad going to happen...which he then told me tats wat anxiety was I felt relieved ..I still feel the anxiety but in a different way I guess I got use to feeling anxiety but now it feels much different more silent but longer... i recently also saw a counseller who has prescribed me something to help me sleep.. but I still have the feeling of worthlessness I fell not good enough and tat everyone still has high expecting of me! i don't wanna fell that anymore ,I like everyone else wanna feel normal but I forgot what normal is... pom sick of everyone putting hopes on me I just feel so confused and lost ... lik they want me to get a job but its hard cause my anxiety comes in I feel lost for words and I keep hearing voices ! i was working as a waitress trying to get back into the work force but I kept hearing someone say my name...I kept looking all around but I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman..it was so strange and when I went to take someone's order my thoughts of what to say went really fast and I could hear my self talk ing the wrong words but just couldn't stop ...I couldn't go back now my family tells me off for hot trying ...but how can I tell them the truth without seeming so crazy I don't know what to do ..how can people understand when they haven't even been through this?

Waiting_Wondering Good days and bad days..
  • replies: 2

Hello, This is the first time I've confronted my thoughts publicly. I don't know where to start or if anyone will read this but I felt like I needed to just get it off my chest and maybe see if I'm not the only one out there like this. And maybe get ... View more

Hello, This is the first time I've confronted my thoughts publicly. I don't know where to start or if anyone will read this but I felt like I needed to just get it off my chest and maybe see if I'm not the only one out there like this. And maybe get some advice.. I've recently started university. I'm finding it overwhelming and stressful. I have just lost all motivation for uni and life in general. Every morning I dread getting out of bed because it means I have to deal with things. I'm not suicidal but I'm feeling really horrible. My mum has noticed me getting down and has told me to 'snap out of it'. She means well, but it's not that easy for me. I've noticed that I've lost all self confidence and feel completely worthless. I've also found that when I'm alone at home or in any situation, I feel a little anxious. Like I'm invisible and no one cares. One time I even broke down with the thought. For the past year, I've been grieving the deaths of my grandparents. It's odd because they all passed away many years ago, but it's been the past year or so that I've longed for a relationship with them. I've even started to feel guilty that I never built a relationship with them. I'm just scared that these feelings won't go away and I'm scared that I'll never find the courage to talk to someone.

ellie123 I want to get rid of this feeling
  • replies: 1

Hi I havent ever talked to anyone about this but i thought i would try venting through beyond blue. I think I have been depressed for a few years now, this past year has been though has been alot harder though. I am now 2 years out of highschool and ... View more

Hi I havent ever talked to anyone about this but i thought i would try venting through beyond blue. I think I have been depressed for a few years now, this past year has been though has been alot harder though. I am now 2 years out of highschool and i think that not being at school daily with my friends makes it harder to avoid what im feeling. about half way through highschool i began to start feeling upset a lot, there was nothing really that was overly bad about my life at all. I have great parents, they are fairly strict and have high expectations for me, but i know they just want me to do well in life. I did well in my classes, recieving A's and B's, I was in lots of sporting teams and had a really large group of friends. So i felt, and still do, that i had no reason to feel like this and i just pretended i was happy. I am the 'funny one' i guess in my group so if i didnt pretend people would know and i didnt want anyone to know because i thought it was stupid for me to feel like that. That continued for a couple of years. I dated one of my best friends during year 12, he was a amazing person but it didnt work out after 1 month and since then i still havent gotten over him which i know is stupid after over 2 years, i think the main reason i havent gotten over him is because in that short time we dated i started feeling happy again. Since leaving school, I went straight into uni doing a double degree. I failed one of my classes in first semester which was a massive thing for me as i haven never failed anything before. The class wasnt overly hard but i found i had no motivation for doing my classes and would miss lectures all the time. In second semester i failed 2 classes as well. i havent told my mum because i know she will be super dissapointed and angry. At the moment i have 4 jobs, working 40 hours a week and i go to uni for 20 hours a week. I had a cousin pass away 2 years ago from suicide due to severe depression and my nanna passed away a few months ago. I have put on 15kg in the past 6 months. Im finding it really hard to pretend im happy anymore. As soon as im alone i will cry and i cry myself to sleep most nights. I think im mostly upset because of stress but also i have pretty much always been single and no guy has ever loved me which is a thought i hate. The main reason i am writing this is to vent but also i want to get rid of this feeling. Most of my friends come to me for adivce alot and i also teach primary school children guitar so i want to become a better person and i dont want to be lying to people all the time because i cant be myself. I know most people will tell me to go to a doctor etc, but im too embarrassed to do that and also my mum will find out and i dont want her to know this is how i feel because i dont want to see it wreck my family like what happened with my cousin.

allalone23 Im Doing Okay..for Now
  • replies: 2

Last week I was feeling so down and so very very alone to the point of just not wanting to be here any more, somehow I managed to keep my head just above the water and pull myself up, although I am taking one day at a time and trying so very hard not... View more

Last week I was feeling so down and so very very alone to the point of just not wanting to be here any more, somehow I managed to keep my head just above the water and pull myself up, although I am taking one day at a time and trying so very hard not to take everything on board all at once. one big factor that is hurting so much is my father and he not returning my emails or even a text message, I had a medical procedure done which could of been cancer which thankfully it wasn't, he didn't call or anything for before hand and nor afterwards..its a very long drawn out story, yet its just another person that has made the choice not be part of my life for one reason or another, so you can imagine how wonderful I feel about my life, not having any friends (I have one best friend) but I am pretty much on my own 90% of the time (that doesn't include my 2 year old, she is my shadow) I just worry so much about so many things and try so hard to do the right thing for my daughter..but as I said before I am pulling myself through this and this helps to write it out, not really worrying if no one replies, just nice to go blah..although I do worry that my step mother will find out about this and have a go at me for being oh what did she call me oh that's right EVIL.

Hayley Depression So familiar but so Cruel
  • replies: 2

Cant sleep...a red flag for my depression. Sleeping all day and awake all night til we do it all over again the next day. Exhausting. I just feel like I don't have the energy to go through another bout of this.The suicidal thoughts are back again and... View more

Cant sleep...a red flag for my depression. Sleeping all day and awake all night til we do it all over again the next day. Exhausting. I just feel like I don't have the energy to go through another bout of this.The suicidal thoughts are back again and the thoughts of self-harm. Having come out of hospital two months ago I have realised Depression is something that will always be there with me day after day it may lay dormant but it will always be there.I know what I have to do its the doing it that's the hard thing. You constantly feel like you are letting people down, disappointing people. The frustration turns into self-hatred. I have Bipolar 2 Depression Rapid Cycling with moments of hypermania. Most of the time I feel out of touch with reality, life, people around me and myself. Most of the time I feel like I am trapped and suffocating. I feel like hope is slowly slipping away.

Rick What do you see..
  • replies: 1

Im tired. Im at work. Im useless. I've been sitting here staring at the wall for I dont even know how long. I should be at home. But im not. I dont want to be here anymore. Not at work. Not in my head. Not here. Why & How did I get here. I dont want ... View more

Im tired. Im at work. Im useless. I've been sitting here staring at the wall for I dont even know how long. I should be at home. But im not. I dont want to be here anymore. Not at work. Not in my head. Not here. Why & How did I get here. I dont want to be here anymore. Im over everything. Work, kids, my head, life. I hate this. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror and when I walk in my house. Id rather just run away and never come back. I think I just might one day soon. Just up and leave. I only worry about my boys but I think they will be fine. Safer, cleaner, happier without me. I just can't do it anymore.

Ken Overwhelming level of apathy
  • replies: 3

Hi, I wake up every morning not feeling any emotions at all. I go to uni and I do moderately good with my subjects. I feel however, no excitement nor happiness in anything. My mind tells me what I should to what's the logical choice to make (study, d... View more

Hi, I wake up every morning not feeling any emotions at all. I go to uni and I do moderately good with my subjects. I feel however, no excitement nor happiness in anything. My mind tells me what I should to what's the logical choice to make (study, do assignments etc), although I have no associated feelings towards the actions I make. Most of the time I can cope with this, but sometimes this intense apathy seems to lean towards negative emotions or negative thoughts which can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. I'm pretty certain I have no desire to end my life, but at the same time I don't care whether I die or not. I feel like I need to talk about it. I honestly wish I could feel something. If someone has any advice that doesn't consist of empty encouragements, that would be extremely helpful.

appoggiatura I think I need help.
  • replies: 3

I don't really know what to do anymore. I have been depressed on and off for the past two years. I think about suicide every day, but I don't think I would ever go through with it, as I don't want to hurt my mum. I get really sad for no reason. I fee... View more

I don't really know what to do anymore. I have been depressed on and off for the past two years. I think about suicide every day, but I don't think I would ever go through with it, as I don't want to hurt my mum. I get really sad for no reason. I feel like no one except my boyfriend knows this about me (and he doesn't know the ful extent) and I have to act very hard to appear happy and interested. I feel like if I tell anyone I'm just burdening them with my issues. I have crippling self-esteem issues. I hate the way I look and I hate the person I am. I'm not anorexic, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve food or shelter, because I am taking it away from people who are more worthy than me. I have an amazing boyfriend who has been with me for a year and a half and he has supported me through many of my darker times, but it's getting to a point now where I feel like I am abusing him because I can't be happy or get better. I've tried to break it off with him so that he can be free of me and my troubles, but he never wants to let go, I think because he's scared that I will get more depressed without him and maybe commit suicide. This makes me feel like such a horrible person, as I just want him to be happy and move on with his life. I was seeing a therapist for a bit, but it didn't work, it made me feel worse. Sometimes I can see myself getting into a dark mood and there is a rational voice somewhere in my head that is telling me I'm acting like an idiot, but it never seems to be strong enough to stop me. I have flashes in my head of suicide and I find these hard to cope with. I don't know why I'm posting on a forum, and I don't know if it can help me at all. I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone about my problems, I feel selfish and silly for even having problems, and I want the anonymity that the internet provides. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest and to hear similar experiences and know that I'm not the only one who suffers from these particular issues.

Chloe_Bloomfield Why is it so hard for everyone to love me and be nice to me?
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What triggered this i know is the fact my job cut down on all my shifts so now im just a call in,.so the only thing that gave my life any purpose is no longer there to drive me forward. So I've fallen back into old habbits,.drinking to much,.sleeping... View more

What triggered this i know is the fact my job cut down on all my shifts so now im just a call in,.so the only thing that gave my life any purpose is no longer there to drive me forward. So I've fallen back into old habbits,.drinking to much,.sleeping all day and feeling like im worthless. This has triggered the flashbacks ,.all the mean things that have been said to me,.remembering just how many people i called "friends" and how they mistreeated me. I know i must move forward, i find this a challenging task though when there is nothing in my life to look forward too. All my life ever since i was young i was told how worthless i was and how i wasn't good enough,.even my mother would tell me how i want "that good" god she was a nasty mother and people still to this day try to make me believe she was good to me cause she fed me and clothed me,..but they don't live with the memories of her that i do. I will never understand what it is that i do that makes people want to drag me down and point out all my faults. I have never had anyone in my life tell me of any good I've done. Its hard to convince yourself your a good person when you have had so many people drag you down. I am to afraid to meet new people because of the other people I have let in and have been bad to me. I am lost,.confused,angry,hurt and yet within all this negative emmotion i still have the dream of oneday being loved and wanted.. All i want to do is love and be loved. Why is it so hard for everyone to love me and be nice to me?