My life is falling apart and i'm so sad.

[Guest_85326741]

I am a couple of months off turning the big 5-0 and I was actually looking forward to it! But over the past few weeks, life has taken a turn to Craptown!

In January, i was fired from my job after 10 years of loyal service. Its a rather long story, which i won't get into, but basically, I was bullied for a long period of time (more than 5 years) by team leaders. This caused extreme depression and anxiety which affected my ability to do the job to the standards expected. Every person in power ignored my pleas for help. I guess I became too much to handle, so they fired me. 

I have applied for so many  jobs since January. I either get no responses, or i am told "we've decided to go with someone more experienced"... These are customer service roles which i have done for 30 years! How much experience do you need?!! I did have a 2nd interview with a company that was very promising, but it was a group interview. I suffer severe social anxiety, so did not interact in the group as much as they liked, so i missed out on the job. 

I am now in the position where I have no income and cannot pay rent, or bills or even food!  My housemate come home today and told me she will be moving out this week. SO, my only option is to move back home to mum. 

Moving is also a worry. Without an income, I am unable to move my furniture out of here. Nor do i have anywhere to store a whole house of furniture.

On top of that, my parents are both fighting illness, family members are struggling with mental health issues of their own and I am trying to be there to help them all. 

I do not have any friends - they all got married and had kids and we lost contact. I have never felt lonely. I enjoy being on my own. i have family who are there when I need someone. But now, I feel alone. I feel like life is just getting harder. I am embarrassed at having to crawl home at my age... I am sad. i am disappointed in my housemate for dropping the bomb on me today. Although, i don't blame her. She's a single mum and needs to do what's right for her child. 

I want to cry. I want to scream. My feelings are everywhere and i don't know what to do. I am so tired. Emotionally and mentally.

I am trying to remain positive, but the more "thanks but no thanks" job rejections i get, the more anxious and depressed i get. 

I thought 2025 and turning 50 would be the best year of my life. How wrong was I?!

IT will get better, right?

Sorry for such a long post!

[Croix]

Dear new member~

I'd like to welcome yo here to hte forum. I guess if you look around you may find others in similar situations and how they coped.

I'm sorry for htose setbacks, and at the same time being on good enough relations with your parents to return home says a lot about your family life over the years. It may turn about to be a positive arrangement if their health is failing and htey are about to need a carer.

Losing one's job after 10 years is a ghastly thing to happen. Appreciation ot discard wold be hte proper way to go, unfortunately some companies only see the bottom line and forget that are only there becuse of people.

Being on the job hunting treadmill can easily get you down and take over all your life. A constant circle of applications, rejections (or what is worse not hearing at all) or interviews where nerves naturally play a big part.

Can I suggest one way I've dealt wiht htis and seems to work is to divide hte day in two. Perhaps devote mornings to job related matters, and then from lunch time onwards have nothing to do with jobs at all, concentrating on other things.

This can take a bit of imagination and ingenuity but pays off, your life is not dominated byt job applications. Apart from anything else I always try to have a treat in the evening to look forward to each day. Can be anything from an ice cream to a chapter in a book, your taste is no doubt different from mine however that little bit of self-reward can make quite a difference over time.

All that furniture and the move is a problem, have you mentioned your financial and moving problems to Anglicare Financial Services who are very practical (and free)?

There is no magic about 50. I remarried around then after my first wife passed away and have been happy ever since.  I'm sure if you keep plugging away you will get a job, I'd also suggest a bit of volunteer work is a good pathway - if you cna afford it.

If you would like to let us know how you get on that would be great

Croix

[Algernon]

Firstly happy birthday.

Here's the present you should give yourself. Scream and scream hard!

Life has chucked a whole bunch of damp brown stuff at you. You should be mad. You should cry. This is reasonable!

When you've done that remember that you had the fortitude to turn up to work despite the bullying. You have strength!! If you've the courage to face that, you've the courage to look at these jobs you're applying for and try a different approach. 

I'm glad your mum supports you. There is real love there. You are lucky 🙂

I hope you sleep. In fact sleep in and recover. When you wake up there is a whole new day to seize 🙂 take care my friend!