Hi Fen
My heart truly goes out to you as you face such an intensely challenging and deeply emotional time in your life.
When it comes to returning to a relationship after a period in depression, I think it depends on what's caused the depression. There can be such an enormous variety of individual and combined factors that can lead a person into a depression.
From my own experience with depression, I've found there can be physical factors, mental factors and even some soulful ones. Then there can be a depressing trifecta, all 3 combined. To offer examples
- Physically, if there's a chemical deficiency or imbalance leading to a depressing lack of energy in motion within the body, when this lack of energy is addressed, emotion returns. Healthy levels of dopamine, serotonin, iron, b12 etc can be felt as energising to different degrees
- Mentally, if there's a lack of healthy beliefs (including beliefs about our self) and/or if there's an over abundance of depressing inner dialogue, such things can be felt as depressing and can also impact our chemistry. If beliefs and inner dialogue are addressed, things can change. Btw, if highly destructive or incredibly unproductive beliefs form when we're growing up, these can also get in the way of experiencing a healthy relationship. There may be a need to address such beliefs or blocks that get in the way, so that we're free to move on or return to a relationship
- In a soulful sense, there may be the need to address how we define and feel love, for example. No sense of self love and/or love for others can become deeply depressing, which can create a whole variety of depressing issues. Putting chemistry aside (involving oxytocin levels, dopamine, endorphins etc), what is love? If I came to define it in a whole new way, an inspiring way that I found to be energising, I could then say 'I never recognised just how much my partner was actually loving me throughout all those years in the lead up to me ending the relationship'. So, certain soulful revelations, newfound mental beliefs and positively charging physical chemistry can help reform a relationship
As I say, it all depends on what it is that's depressing. We're such complex creatures, that's for sure.
