mounting pressure is pushing me to bad actions

[123gottapose]

studying has become overwhelming, moving house is overwhelming, trying to keep up with my relationship is overwhelming, and it's led me to act on self-harmful thoughts. i can't fix anything truly, because i can't afford to, i can't focus on my study, i'm worried that i'll fall apart. it's happened before, i've hurt myself, struggled with my study at the same time, dropped out, and then it's gotten worse. 

i can't hurt my partners again, but i'm hurting myself as well. i can't drop out, because i've never succeeded at anything either. honestly it's making me want to disappear forever, but i can't do that. and i hate that. why can't i just go away?

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. With everything you mentioned it makes sense that you’re overwhelmed — studying, moving, your relationship, your mental health. This is a lot to handle at one time and it’s okay to feel like it’s too much.

You have also shown strength just by holding on this long and in writing a post here - that takes courage and to be vulnerable to a group a strangers.

You matter.

Because of who you are. You don’t need to disappear. And you don’t have to face this on your own. If you’re thinking about hurting yourself, please reach out.... to a friend, a partner, a counsellor, or a helpline.

One step at a time is more than enough.

Listening... if you want to talk.