Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

All discussions

Featherless I feel broken
  • replies: 3

I'm really sorry for such a long text but I don't know who to talk to about this at all. I don't have some sort of serious medical issue or diagnosed problems. I'm quite young and on the outside, it would seem like I have a great life. But I have sui... View more

I'm really sorry for such a long text but I don't know who to talk to about this at all. I don't have some sort of serious medical issue or diagnosed problems. I'm quite young and on the outside, it would seem like I have a great life. But I have suicidal and self-harm thoughts. I know I'm too much of a coward to actually do it, but sometimes,. I sometimes just break down and cry, but only quietly and when I'm alone. I'm not under a lot of school pressure, but I always feel a weight on my shoulders. I do dance, and I feel pressured by my mother (whom I asked for help) to be better and try harder. I know I asked her for help first, but I can't take it. My knees are bruised and painful, my shoulder is red, and my heart just can't take it. It sounds shallow. Simple. Petty. But I can't. My work isn't be appreciated. My effort isn't being acknowledged. I'm constantly being told 'you're not even trying that hard' whenever I try to be vulnerable or explain myself. It's right. I'm not trying as hard as I know I could be. But I'm still trying. Spending hours. Until I'm dizzy. Until I hear something crack. And I wake up in pain every day, but keep going. I'm burnt out. It's not just that. Sometimes, I sit in a dark room alone for hours, feeling utterly empty and broken and wanting to end everything for no reason. Every bad thing that happened to me feels like a dream. A nightmare. I don't even have that big of a problem in life. People are out suffering worse. People are dying. And I'm here crying because I'm tired. I need to pull myself together. But I can't. I just want to let myself go and let my mind shatter into a million pieces. I'm so tired. I'm so broken. I want to die but know I won't.

Guest_56045834 Narc partner
  • replies: 2

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, my partner no dobt is an Narc but we are going through with buying a house.After feeling excited about buying a house , having an argument about about him changing and needing him to work more because I pay for eve... View more

I have been diagnosed with anxiety, my partner no dobt is an Narc but we are going through with buying a house.After feeling excited about buying a house , having an argument about about him changing and needing him to work more because I pay for everything explain that he was the boss in front of our kids and we were below him has led to me wanting to self harm and drink

Bigdog72 What do u do when u can't get help
  • replies: 5

Due to PTSD caused by sexual abuse i live constantly with dark thoughts. No a day goes by that i dont think of ending it all. I keep fighting but it gets harder n harder everyday. I have been to my gp and have a mental heath plan but due to living im... View more

Due to PTSD caused by sexual abuse i live constantly with dark thoughts. No a day goes by that i dont think of ending it all. I keep fighting but it gets harder n harder everyday. I have been to my gp and have a mental heath plan but due to living im a regional area and being on a careers pension i cant afford to pay to get help. My dr has sent out alot of referals and cant get me in to see anyone. Presented to hospital a few times which is a 100km drive one way and they just send me home saying u seem ok now. No sure how to get help anymore. Im getting scared that on my own i wont be able to keep fighting. Only thing i think lefyt is to harm myself to get the help. I know this is not something i should be thinking but quickly running out of options. Im sorry to dump this on here i know in the end is my problem to deal with as it has always been. I do appreciate u all.

123gottapose mounting pressure is pushing me to bad actions
  • replies: 1

studying has become overwhelming, moving house is overwhelming, trying to keep up with my relationship is overwhelming, and it's led me to act on self-harmful thoughts. i can't fix anything truly, because i can't afford to, i can't focus on my study,... View more

studying has become overwhelming, moving house is overwhelming, trying to keep up with my relationship is overwhelming, and it's led me to act on self-harmful thoughts. i can't fix anything truly, because i can't afford to, i can't focus on my study, i'm worried that i'll fall apart. it's happened before, i've hurt myself, struggled with my study at the same time, dropped out, and then it's gotten worse. i can't hurt my partners again, but i'm hurting myself as well. i can't drop out, because i've never succeeded at anything either. honestly it's making me want to disappear forever, but i can't do that. and i hate that. why can't i just go away?

Raven I'm planning and I'm scared
  • replies: 2

So I'm in a new relationship only been together 4-5 months, we are living together and I'm pregnant already, I'm just done lately and have been thinking about harming or offing myself a lot lately. I'm currently trying to figure out a therapist and e... View more

So I'm in a new relationship only been together 4-5 months, we are living together and I'm pregnant already, I'm just done lately and have been thinking about harming or offing myself a lot lately. I'm currently trying to figure out a therapist and everything but right I'm just very alone

Gabby Gabby
  • replies: 12

Hi… I’m struggling to understand how to connect on here. So I’m going to need some help? Anyway, I’m an elder. I marvel that I haven’t killed myself but I’m not happy to be alive at all. I have no friends, two daughters who live far far away but who ... View more

Hi… I’m struggling to understand how to connect on here. So I’m going to need some help? Anyway, I’m an elder. I marvel that I haven’t killed myself but I’m not happy to be alive at all. I have no friends, two daughters who live far far away but who are in close contact over the phone. But they don’t know of my struggles anymore coz I keep them to myself—they have enough to deal with in their own hectic demanding lives. I look forward to the day I will die and hope it comes soon. I live completed isolated and alone and it’s not life. So sorry for being so negative.

SoloLeveller life's to thick...
  • replies: 3

so, I've had suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life. I grew up seeing horrible things and had horrible experiences. I keep going on cause I'm a carer and a uncle. I had a small group of really close friends who I treated as family. two close fri... View more

so, I've had suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life. I grew up seeing horrible things and had horrible experiences. I keep going on cause I'm a carer and a uncle. I had a small group of really close friends who I treated as family. two close friends who I thought would always be there for and also be there for them. (which I was) the reasons are to ridiculous to even type out or think about but, they jumped ship. now here I am. alone most of my waking hours. watching movies, watching anime, playing games, mowing lawns, etc. at this very moment I'm wondering why I'm still here and constantly telling myself there's good reasons to be here. but I'm just so tired of it all. no one to call, text or joke around with and it's eating away at me. I love my family and the singular mate I have left but it's painful to exist just to exist. I've asked myself so many times over the years- what's the point? why do these things keep happening? what did I do to deserve this so called life? dealing with depression/PTSD/anxiety is so exhausting to constantly deal with and that's all I feel these days. just unrelenting, perpetual exhaustion. sorry if this vent was a little to negative for my second discussion post but, negativity is my bread and butter -_-

Lookingforward_ Stressed out and Confused
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I am really struggling with my mental health at the moment. I am in my second year of University, i am currently doing really well in my course but i am not enjoying it. I am so anxious and depressed, my mind feels like it is going a mi... View more

Hey everyone, I am really struggling with my mental health at the moment. I am in my second year of University, i am currently doing really well in my course but i am not enjoying it. I am so anxious and depressed, my mind feels like it is going a million miles an hour and then not even functioning at all. I feel sick just thinking about University but the thought of quitting it is just as hard. I have had really bad episodes of both anxiety and then depression in the past and while it is not at the same level i can feel myself spiralling. I have been on medication for both previously for prolonged periods of time but i don't like myself on medication. While i have been off of medication for over a year, i have recently had to place myself back on it out of fear for my anxiety and depression worsening. I have have been having suicidal thoughts daily and they in themselves are a big red flag for me. I don't know what to do next, right know I am so exhausted and so stressed.

OllieA_TransKid I really don't know what to do anymore
  • replies: 8

I've been struggling these past 2 years. I can't go a few days without wanting to just disappear or hurt myself.I've always been told by people that my ex is saying terrible things behind my back, and just over-all making my thoughts worse.I have tal... View more

I've been struggling these past 2 years. I can't go a few days without wanting to just disappear or hurt myself.I've always been told by people that my ex is saying terrible things behind my back, and just over-all making my thoughts worse.I have talked to doctors, and I have been told to my face if I tell my parents I'm thinking it again, I have to go to a psychiatric hospital. I'm just stressed. My 4 or 5 friends left have been trying to make me feel safer with myself, and it's sort of worked, but, I always snap back to wanting to hurt myself a few days later.I've always been told psychiatric hospitals are for deranged people. I sort of realise it was an over exaggeration, but i still fear them. I always feel the need to say sorry, and i don't know why, because its causing people to say "Stop saying sorry so much, god it's annoying" and it's ruining me I'm a bit ok now, but I'm genuinely worried for my mental health at this point.Its stressing my parents out and I just want to disappear sometimes to save them the trouble of having to be my parents.

Darksoul Why should I bother
  • replies: 3

I'm not the type of person that usually discusses this type of thing because everybody has problems and I don't want to add to problems people have in their own life, but I can't take it anymore I don't know why I should bother fighting a losing batt... View more

I'm not the type of person that usually discusses this type of thing because everybody has problems and I don't want to add to problems people have in their own life, but I can't take it anymore I don't know why I should bother fighting a losing battle, I'm nearly 50, jobless but actively looking for a job, alone most of my life last girlfriend I had was when I was 19, running out of money and the mental fortitude to keep going. Feel like such an insignificant, worthless speck that is just wasting oxygen.