Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

JustAnYtka How do I help?
  • replies: 1

Tw: sh and talk of attempts ( no details ) I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I need some help.I was hoping some of you guys could help me with supporting my friend that told me today that they attempted last night.I'm extremely... View more

Tw: sh and talk of attempts ( no details ) I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I need some help.I was hoping some of you guys could help me with supporting my friend that told me today that they attempted last night.I'm extremely concerned that they might try again and take it further but I don't want to break the trust we have by telling someone. They're mum knows, she doesn't care at all and they're dad's not in the picture. I'm around 2 year clean and I don't really remember how it feels to be that bad, so I just need some help as to how I can best support them and keep them safe.Thanks,Bee

David35 My mum has had suicidal "jokes"
  • replies: 12

Several months ago, mum made a joke about going to sleep and never wanting to wake up. Now I've had suicidal thoughts myself in the past, so it triggered me. I rang my brother for help, but he just suggested I stick her in a nursing home using my pow... View more

Several months ago, mum made a joke about going to sleep and never wanting to wake up. Now I've had suicidal thoughts myself in the past, so it triggered me. I rang my brother for help, but he just suggested I stick her in a nursing home using my power of attorney. I sent an email to her GP to chase it up. In the depths of her drinking and despair, she would often say these things with sincerity, but now that I've followed up on them, she says it was just all a joke. She now resents me because she has to see her GP about it, which she's not looking forward to. For hours today, we argued about it, because she simply doesn't accept the trauma that it invoked within me. Eventually, I stopped her by going into detail what my thoughts were many years ago. She never realised. But even now, after discussing the trauma that it invokes inside me, she still doesn't respect my "mental boundaries". After all, everyone she's spoken to sees it as a joke. But none of those people have had suicidal thoughts in their past. So my question, is who's problem is it to deal with? Mine, to stop over-reacting to such comments when she's balling her eyes out and has lost all will to live. Or hers, to respect my sensitive nature. If I was a bit more thick-skinned, I may not have reported her behaviour to her GP. She is 77 and severely depressed and even though I am getting counselling which is helping, leans on me an incredible amount during her cancer treatment. I've tried to explain to her that it's a bit like a reformed alcoholic sitting in a bar, or a reformed smoker sitting amongst other smokers. To me, it's just not acceptable behaviour.

Matt_Matt Close to the end
  • replies: 1

I’ve got a long history with mental health problems and I’ve been hospitalised for it twice so far. A few days ago my partner of 11 years says she doesn’t love me anymore and I need to move out. I have nowhere to go and no one to go to. The only pers... View more

I’ve got a long history with mental health problems and I’ve been hospitalised for it twice so far. A few days ago my partner of 11 years says she doesn’t love me anymore and I need to move out. I have nowhere to go and no one to go to. The only person I’m clinging to is my three year old daughter but I’m sure she will be better off without me.

Tiah_ Scared of Relapsing and Attempting Again.
  • replies: 13

Hi. I've never posted here before but I'm desperate. These past few months I've made everyone think I'm doing mentally okay again, but it's far from true. I've been struggling with thoughts, and honestly the only thing stopping me is the fact that if... View more

Hi. I've never posted here before but I'm desperate. These past few months I've made everyone think I'm doing mentally okay again, but it's far from true. I've been struggling with thoughts, and honestly the only thing stopping me is the fact that if I survive this one (would be my 6th or 7th within a year) everyone would be so angry with me, particularly my mother. I'm 18, and I've struggled with mental health my whole life just about. I love my family, my best friend and boyfriend, but I can't deal with any of this. I can't even really tell my therapist because of the whole 'duty of care' policy. I don't need everyone finding out I'm thinking like this again. I can't really talk about this stuff with anyone other than my therapist either, but even then I don't really tell her everything. I tell her the truth, but it's truths that don't matter. I tell her I'm disturbed, but I just use something I've already told her as my reasoning. I couldn't tell anyone the real reasons. Obviously I won't disclose them here, but my god, I'm just struggling to survive at this point. I'm so good at pretending nothing's wrong, but I can only do this for so much longer. Every day I hold on to these secrets I promised would die with me, the more i lose sight of why I'm here. I'm running out of reasons to stay. Everyone uses love as a reason, and as much as I love my family and that, I'm not entirely sure love is enough to save a wreck like me. I like such an attention seeker; posting shit like this isn't me (like at all), but I have nowhere else to turn. I know I need to tell my therapist but as I said, DOC exists and I've been burned like that before. I'm begging for help. Please.

melancholiBlonde Life’s in total disarray
  • replies: 2

I don’t know how or where to begin on picking myself up after getting laid off from work yesterday... I knew I had no chance of getting my job back the moment I stepped into that meeting... none of those in the meeting knew me well or how I work so a... View more

I don’t know how or where to begin on picking myself up after getting laid off from work yesterday... I knew I had no chance of getting my job back the moment I stepped into that meeting... none of those in the meeting knew me well or how I work so all those hard work that I’ve done didn’t even save me from getting fired... most of the time I’m honest and take responsibility of any wrong doings, that bit ,me in the arse yesterday... I’m now thinking if I have said a white lie would I still have my job? I’m thinking if only I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have done it... my work was my protective factor and now that’s gone, I don’t know what else keeps me here... My life is in shambles and empty... I wish I’m able to pick myself up as fast as others but I just don’t know where to starT...I NEED SOME REPRIEVE FROM THIS...

Joe_the_Innocent27 Too much to deal with, Sick of things, Life sucks, I don't want to keep fighting anymore
  • replies: 2

I am now 28 years old without planning on studying at either University or TAFE, I don't know which entry jobs I want to work, I don't have any net work or references, I have never known what to expect from a job interview, I am dependent on a job re... View more

I am now 28 years old without planning on studying at either University or TAFE, I don't know which entry jobs I want to work, I don't have any net work or references, I have never known what to expect from a job interview, I am dependent on a job recruiter that seems useless as they all do, and to make matters worse it has a disability attached stigma because a dozen years ago I made destructive repetitive suicidal choices and got wrongly diagnosed with psychosis and then schizophrenia when I never actually had the mental illness I never developed the life skills such as washing my clothes, dishes & cutlery, or knowing how to pay bills online, no one helped me develop to become a adult and I always remained as a co - dependent man child. I never had any family or friends that explained to me how to get a rent accommodation and I never had the eligibility either without working I had creative aspirations but could never start my dreams because I was bullied all during high school and I wanted to live on my own for my own clear mind and esteem, I never learnt how to handle my high sensitivity and become tough or sociable because I wasn't out in society and co - existing in the real world, I was never close to my father and my twin brother wasn't serious about leaving home like I am I have wanted to live in the United States since I was 12 years old but I could never even travel without money, people or even being successful in Australia firstly

k0d3s Why am i doing this to myself
  • replies: 4

Hey all, about a week ago i lost an extremely close mate to suicide due to him being really depressed and always being put down. This had really hit me extremely hard and killed me on the inside. A few days later i lost a very very close family frien... View more

Hey all, about a week ago i lost an extremely close mate to suicide due to him being really depressed and always being put down. This had really hit me extremely hard and killed me on the inside. A few days later i lost a very very close family friend to unknown course during the night. We had the funeral recently and that day really hurt me deep down. I tried to just kms to just end the pain and suffering i had gone through for the last several years but I couldn't lose my GF and I didnt want to take the easy way out. Then on Friday i went out and purchased a lot of alcohol. Friday i started to drink a few here and there then on Saturday everything was to much and i just drank 1 after the other. At about 9pm that night i texted my GF saying that i never want to talk to her nor see her ever again and shes fat. None of this is true, she is the most amazing, beautiful, kind hearted and caring person you could ever imagine. I love her so so so deeply you dont understand. Sunday I spoke to her and i read all the messages i had sent and if im honest after reading them i didnt even want to talk to myself. It hurt that much with everything i had said all because i decided to drink. Everyday i have tried and tried to talk to her and shes responded here and there then earlier today she called me and i broke down instantly. I honestly thought she never wanted to even speak to me ever again but she did, after everything i had said and done, after all the emotions i killed. She still wanted to talk and i tell you that talk was the most emotional talk i have had in a long time. I know that she still doesnt quite want to talk to me and thats understandable and im honestly just hoping we will be able to have the good chats and laughs like we use to. I need help with knowing where i need to go from this, im already trying to get myself into therapy i just need to find a place.

Emily12346 I’m so lonely right now
  • replies: 2

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time be... View more

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time because she selfs harms a lot and I couldn’t bare knowing this info and something bad happening and I didn’t do anything about it. She has been in denial of whole thing and she always says that she is fine, which I know her so well that she was definitely not fine. My other best friend agreed with me that she needed help and that we didn’t want anything to happen , so we agreed to tell someone we trusted. We decided to have a talk about our concerns about our friend and tell her that we supported her, I mentioned that both of us will have to tell someone because we are worried about u. Having past mental health problems I knew that getting help was the right thing to do and it helps so much, but after I mentioned it to my friend who was struggling, my other best friend who supported me with my choices said , she didn’t agree on telling someone about this and she said that she wouldn’t support me if I went through with this.Anyway couple days later got more advice from other close friends and they 100% agreed on telling someone about it and that it is the right thing to do , even if she hates u afterwards , it could save her life. Anyway I told the school councillor about everything going on, they said that they would talk to her , ring the parents up and take further action from there. They said to tell her to give her the heads up instead of just surprising her with this info. Me and my other close friends approached her and told her everything and we mentioned things on why we did this like it’s because we love u so much and can’t bare the thought of something bad happening,that’s why we did this etc. she went silent and was chill to my surprise but I could tell she was upset and mad. After going back to class , my friend who was struggling with self harm, yelled out to my friend who claimed that she would support me with trying to get our other friend help, and said “they told”, my friend approached the struggling one and said “how dare they, they are terrible friends.” I knew after that, that she didn’t want to help my struggling friend , she was using this to get closer to my other friend because she was always jealous with how close we were.Now none of my friends are talking to me and have left me on opened on everything because I did a terrible thing, they are acting like I don’t exist and that I was never friends with them.it was one of the hardest things I have had to do, but I knew it was the right thing , but now I have zero friends so I feel so lonely and I feel like no one even cared about me. Other people are telling me that she will realise that u were the good friend and that ur friend will forgive u , but it doesn’t feel like it ,and now I’m on school holidays so everyone is hanging out and I’m just home alone , bored shitless and waiting for the days to finish and sometimes I just want to disappear because I feel like no one will ever love me like I love everybody else. Did I do the right thing?

Gizmo6 I’m drowning, and can’t find my way to the surface
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I feel defeated. The things they say are the 5 most stressful you can go through in life, I’ve experienced them all plus more within the past 2 years, and so much trauma for my entire life. After 4 seperate deaths of my nan, mum, friend and beloved d... View more

I feel defeated. The things they say are the 5 most stressful you can go through in life, I’ve experienced them all plus more within the past 2 years, and so much trauma for my entire life. After 4 seperate deaths of my nan, mum, friend and beloved dog, and then my relationship breakdown on top of that all in just the past 5 months I have reached my limit and absolutely ready to give up, and give myself peace, finally. Why should I stay, to save others from grief and sadness if I were to go? When it means I have to TRY to live, to survive, in deep pain and anguish every single day of my life? Try to function enough to actually get through each day, working to earn money to have a roof and food. Who has the right to be free of the pain? Them, or me? Who is more selfish?Being told that things will get better in time - I just don’t believe it. My next life time maybe? I’ve been struggling for a very long time, and no matter how hard I try, things get worse, not better. More, new trauma, new events, it goes on and on.I go to a psych, walk daily, on meds, try self help tools etc. Nothing is helping, nothing. It feels hopeless. And frankly, I’m over it. My other dog is the only reason I’m still here today.I don’t know why I’m posting here or what I expect or want from it, maybe just to feel understood.

Makinupaname Need to get it out
  • replies: 1

So, feeling unhappy, almost where I was a few months back where I contemplated ending it. I have kids and a fairly supportive partner if I would let him in. I can't put the pressure of what's in my head on people who know me. My head and heart feel s... View more

So, feeling unhappy, almost where I was a few months back where I contemplated ending it. I have kids and a fairly supportive partner if I would let him in. I can't put the pressure of what's in my head on people who know me. My head and heart feel so heavy. I have trouble coping with the kids. Coping with the fact that I was sexually abused by a stranger near a school and now I have a sex offender across from the school. There are so many thoughts, I don't know what to focus on. We can't afford to get help. I feel fat, worthless and it's a vicious cycle of drinking and eating and then fat shaming and depression. I would rather go for a walk or be outside but there is so much to do in the house, homework, cleaning, cooking, getting ready for tomoro. I don't even have time to do everything I need to do, let alone want to do. I try and have a minute to myself but them I feel guilty and worse because there is so much need from everyone else.