Hi there Mojo,
You read like a very grounded person. May I ask how long these feelings have been present? Do you think you're having a strong reaction to troubling events or is it a slow accumulation of feelings that is now coming to a head? I'm also very curious as to whether you've pursued professional support; if you're feeling this way and you haven't then I would say you really need to at least give it a go. My understanding is that this site is best used to complement and support real world action. The people hear can empathise, relate, reflect and encourage you, but we don't necessarily know how to formulate the personalised strategies that might help you out of this.
I really don't know if you'll ever read this, let alone respond to it, but I would like to know if you have a prevailing philosophy in life? What actually matters to you? Are you religious? Cynical? I would rather ask this directly than spend a lot more time ascertaining it indirectly. I hope this doesn't, as you put it, unintentionally make you uncomfortable. 🙂 With this in mind it would be easier for myself and others to evaluate your position through your lens and maybe make realistic suggestions.
Also just want to add it's fricken hard being a man - we're meant to be impregnable bastions of resilience, aptitude and fortitude, providers for all, self-sacrificial when necessary. We're conditioned to be unable to ask for or receive help when we desperately need it, and indeed to feel shame when we do. With that in mind it's great that you've sought support and you've overcome a massive hurdle in doing so. 🙂
Would be great to hear from you again.
Felix
