Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Depression from work

replies: 5

Hey everyone. I've recently started a new job that I was really keen for but I've ended up hating it. It's not what I expected at all. It's super repetitive and boring, and I'm on my feet all day which I hate. I have so much pain in my back, hands and feet since starting there and I have to get up at 4am every week day. I'm not new to depression and suicidal thoughts, definitely had them before but it's all come back because of this job! It's a struggle to wake up in the morning, I feel so depressed I don't usually eat anything and then I'm starving later, and the suicidal thoughts are just there straight away, sometimes lasting the whole shift. I wouldn't actually do anything but I'm just not coping with how much my brain and body are struggling. I am looking for a new job and I hope I can get out of this one ASAP but in the meantime I felt the need to reach out. Can anyone relate? I would quit if I had money saved

Feeling so depressed

replies: 2

I be struggling for a long time. I am on medication but I feel like that stop working. Each day is the same. It's wrose at night and when I wake up in the middle of the night. I just can't deal with nightmares any more. Life seem so pointless right now. I'm trying so hard to be safe but I can't go on each day feeling horrible. Child abuse fk me up big time. I don't even feel like I'm worth anything no more. I'm waiting to see a psychologist and my phych. But feel that won't help me. I'm not good at face to face things.

By best friend thinks I’m a bitch

replies: 4

By best friend thinks I’m a bitch. It hurts because I thought she knew me better, she knows everything about me, family issues, depression, etc. I’ve always expressed my love for her, to make it known that I appreciate her, yet one day she just started excluding me to hang out with this other girl, this other girl’s really nice and I hold no resentment towards her nor to my best friend, because people grow apart. I knew I still wanted her in my life, but I also knew I had to stop diluting myself into thinking that I was her best friend anymore, so I distanced myself, got closer to other people. She started acting weird so I reached out and asked if everything was okay, it wasn’t, she was mad at me. I asked why and she said I was being a bitch toward her, I explained my feelings and she boiled it down to “you can’t act like that because I’m not choosing you enough” that hurt. To have all your feelings boiled down to something seemingly so petty, it made me question myself, was I being a bitch? Am I overreacting? It’s still hard to answer those because I love her and empathise with her point of view. She told me she needed a break from our friendship. That hurt as well. Thinking back on all those memories, it seemed like she threw it away so easily. She hasn’t spoken to me since, I respect her boundaries and haven’t engaged in any conversation either. But part of me is mad, so so SO mad, mad that she excluded me then had the audacity to call us a trio (a trio where 2 people hang out on a weekend and never invite the third apparently), I just wanted some empathy and understanding from her. I love her of course but part of me wishes she’d falls down the stairs or something. I feel like absolute shit, I’ve started self harming again, I called lifeline for the first time ever because I had no one else to turn too. The worst part is I feel like a bad person, whether I was being a bitch or not I feel like one for wishing bad things on her. It’s hard.

Mum keeps wishing she was dead

replies: 7

My mum survived bladder cancer the last few years. Now she has a bowel test (colonoscopy) coming up in a month and she is so down she keeps wishing she was dead. She's sick of the medical tests, the fears, the lack of support from family members that she keeps telling me she is just fed up with this world. How does one cope with this level of depression? She refuses all counseling, support from GP, etc. It just feels like she's spitting in my face considering how much I've supported her these last few years. It's very hard to cope with

Bipolar Disorder Low's Causing Dark Thoughts

replies: 1

Hi and thank you to anyone who is reading this. I am 26 and I suffer from Bipolar 2. I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago and I don't cope any better now than I did back then. I am definitely self aware now and no where near as reckless and chaotic when I am in my highs but none have been as crazy as before I was diagnosed and medicated. My lows however are just as bad as they were the first time. I feel and think the worst and find it really hard to stay positive and I guess look for the light at the end of the tunnel. The thought of passing away is more ideal than it is scary. The best way to explain it would be that I dont care if I died. I know thats not the right way to feel but its so hard not to think that way and just know that it would stop all the pain and just crappy feeling. I struggle to let out how bad I am mentally because I dont want the people around me to look after me anymore than they already do (Mum, Friends and Girlfriend). I visit my therapist pretty much fortnightly which is a big help but even her I cant tell her how much I think negative thoughts. I am embarrassed that I do feel this way. I message lifeline in the night sometimes to just kind of let it all out when I cant which I do feel helps a bit and because I dont know who is on the other end I dont feel bad for putting all my stuff onto somebody else. I guess this is kinda what I am doing here. so thank you so much to anyone who does read this. I just really need help as to how to completly open up to my therapist and the ones who care about me and tell them how bad I really am doing. I just need help and feel helpless. Thanks and I am sorry if this doesnt make sense. M

Threatened/intimidated by me

replies: 2

Anyone else just felt like every work place they have been in there's always been that one person that just doesn't act their pay grade and start acting up and drama with you for no reason... Even though you know your a good hard worker. I am friendly kind all of it really and always seem to deal with that one smug girl that just doesn't like me for whatever reason and I'm over it. I told myself next time I'm going to lose it completely next person that try's to act up on me again cause I'm done legit.

Relying on Pain

replies: 2

Just to be clear I don't intend to leave the planet any time soon and I'm confident that I will stay that way. I am what happens when someone completely and utterly gives up, but stays. I was pushed past the limit nearly a decade ago. I've never attempted to shuffle off this mortal coil, but it's not because I wanted to stay. I don't believe in an afterlife. I know that the time here is all I have, and I'll have it all, but everything hurts. Plus, when I feel like the world wants me gone, staying is how I spite the world. I had depression for 8 years. I'm 24. My mum, brother and sister physically attacked me, constantly, until my early teenage years. I was the youngest sibling. The violence only stopped when I grew big enough that attacking me was now dangerous if I chose to retaliate. And I could write a novel on the psychological damage they inflicted on me. I've been alone for most of my life. Fun fact, no matter how strong the friendship, EVERYONE you know is capable of flipping a switch in their head and immediately seeing you as the lowest form of scum. Even when they ADMIT the other person is the problem, their actions treat you as the problem. Unless you've seen someone make a VERY difficult choice, then I promise you, you don't know them. Not even slightly. They are a complete stranger to you. Don't believe me? That's fine. You'll learn the same way I did. Give it time. Due to the above and more, I am dead inside. The only way to stop the agony is to force myself to feel nothing (mostly works). It made the depression stop, but it killed almost everything I am emotionally. And the effort of holding down whatever's left just makes me extremely stressed all the time. Through sheer will I have enough control these days to usually prevent panic attacks, but dizzy spells are becoming more common at work. And when I can't hold it down, I self harm. Punishing myself makes things make sense. Surely I wouldn't have been hurt so many times by so many different people unless I deserved it... right? Rationally I know that's not true. But that lie dulls the pain inside when it's too much. Hope is a poison and I will never trust anyone. Never again. So what do I have when my love and hope are dead? Pain. The only thing strong enough to give me the will to live (and not just stop eating) and the will to understand this world, is pain. I hate it, but it's true. Surely someone else who knows what this feels like? Or am I truly alone?

Support when feeling like i cannot return to work?

replies: 3

ive been off work for almost 2 months after having a breakdown due to medication stopping working/ toxic work environment. i was becoming increasingly suicidal while at work until i got to a point where it was becoming a real possibility for the first time in years. after a month or so of time off i started feeling a lot better again but now that its coming time to actually return to work due to not being able to afford food rent etc im back to exactly where i was. i cant seem to get any help from my gp or psychologist about it, keep being told that work usually helps when you are feeling depressed/suicidal as it can give you purpose despite me telling them time and time again that in my experience it does the total opposite. anyway what im asking is how can i try and access some kind of monetary mental health support without having a gp involved as this is the final straw for my faith in them. does such a thing even exist?

Addiction

replies: 2

I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on how they have dealt with addictions. I’m a smoker and drinker. I find it very hard to avoid both. I know smoking is bad but feel it helps me calm. The drinking is worse in my cause I use it to become numb to feelings and numb myself when overwhelmed but I usually just spiral out of control when I drink and become more depressed and suicidal then I already am. any tips would be appreciated. I am safe look forward to hearing some input.

Re: Vent and then let it go...

replies: 150

I can't do this stupid life anymore. I just need to write this out. Because sometimes it has helped me on the past. Just to shout it out on words. I HATE THIS.. LIFE. The pain keeps happening over and over again. I cannot deal with it. Tears are in my eyes, frustration, aloneness, maybe bitterness, I hate that emotion. Just go in the name of Jesus. I forgive him. It hurts, please heal me. Where does my help come from. The maker of heaven and earth. I hurt Father God. I hurt.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Depression from work replies: 5

Feeling so depressed replies: 2

By best friend thinks I’m a bitch replies: 4

Mum keeps wishing she was dead replies: 7

Bipolar Disorder Low's Causing Dark Thoughts replies: 1

Threatened/intimidated by me replies: 2

Relying on Pain replies: 2

Support when feeling like i cannot return to work? replies: 3

Addiction replies: 2

Re: Vent and then let it go... replies: 150