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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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stell_a178 My sister told me to die
  • replies: 3

I just recently moved back into my mums house because I couldn’t afford to continue renting while at uni. I had to move back into the room that my sister was staying in, because she said she wanted to move rooms anyway. My plan was to move all my stu... View more

I just recently moved back into my mums house because I couldn’t afford to continue renting while at uni. I had to move back into the room that my sister was staying in, because she said she wanted to move rooms anyway. My plan was to move all my stuff before uni started so I wasn’t trying to do two things at once. I had given my sister over a week to find a new bed and get it delivered or I would pick it up for her. She continued to complain about every single bed I put forward. So I ended up moving her stuff into the front room and shifted my stuff into my room. This obviously really frustrated her, because now she was without a bed. But take into consideration that I (countless times) offered up solutions and she turned every single one down. So after being at my mums for around 2 days, I was cleaning up after dinner and my sister yelled at me, “I hope you get off your meds (antidepressants) and kill yourself”. This was because I put one of her cups into the dishwasher without asking her first. I didn’t really confront her about what she said, I just let her sit in the silence after she said it. I found this horrifying, because out of all the people to say something like this to me, she would be the last person I expected. She, herself, has had issues with suicidal ideation and actually tried to commit while in high school. So this comment from her really shook me to my core. i still haven’t confronted her about what she said, because i truthfully have no idea how to react. I am really upset, and this comment has made me feel unloved and unappreciated in my own home. Has anyone experienced this? Or does anyone have advice? stella

SNWner Over Tired in my thoughts…
  • replies: 2

My head is so sore. How do you turn bad thoughts into good ones? Is it ever going to be possible to not think about sh? I’ve only ever been able to stop myself a few times but it just plays in my mind on my darkest days.

My head is so sore. How do you turn bad thoughts into good ones? Is it ever going to be possible to not think about sh? I’ve only ever been able to stop myself a few times but it just plays in my mind on my darkest days.

Unicorn_Kitty Unsure about whether to go non-contact with my mum
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am in a situation where I am having trouble coming to an appropriate decision.My mum is particularly nasty and has narcissistic tendencies. I feel that her negative behaviours and her predisposition to make situations about her seem more appare... View more

Hi, I am in a situation where I am having trouble coming to an appropriate decision.My mum is particularly nasty and has narcissistic tendencies. I feel that her negative behaviours and her predisposition to make situations about her seem more apparent as time goes on, since she bought us the property. She was very difficult to be around when I lived with her and it was detrimental to my wellbeing, but at the moment I definitely feel happier when I haven’t had much contact with her for a while.My mum owns the property I live in. I didn’t want her to buy my sister and I a property but she insisted and often complains about sacrificing money for the property, saying that she could have kept it herself, she wants the money back, most parents don’t do this for their kids and that her mum didn’t help her get a property and blew her money instead. She will not sell until she feels she will get a good deal on the property. I am lost about what to do. I want to go no-contact with my mum. I don’t necessarily have the means to save to purchase my own property yet since a lot of money has been going towards her and the property. I find that being around her tends to be unpleasant and she often invalidates my struggles and makes it about herself.I feel that I need to be prepared to not receive any money after the property is sold anyway because my mum as the owner gets to decide where the money goes, so I don’t want to be in contact with her for the money as it’s not my priority, I just know that there is going to have to be interaction as a renter and I don’t want things to get awkward or tense. Also, renting elsewhere may not be feasible if rent could increase at anytime to the point where it’s almost impossible to pay, especially as I wouldn’t be living with other people. I think that I could save for a deposit, but it would take a while and I don’t want to be abused for much longer.

SunnyRayne Depression after Brain Aneurysm
  • replies: 5

I am at the point where I don’t think I am useful anymore. The aneurysm has destroyed my memory, both short and long term. I am treated like an idiot. I am constantly being asked if I understand or being told I am not communicating properly or repeat... View more

I am at the point where I don’t think I am useful anymore. The aneurysm has destroyed my memory, both short and long term. I am treated like an idiot. I am constantly being asked if I understand or being told I am not communicating properly or repeatedly asking the same questions. I don’t think I can do this anymore. I wish this stupid aneurysm had just killed me. No one understands.

...Gekota Complex trip and sh thoughts when doing well
  • replies: 2

Hey! I’ve got a bit of a complicated situation that I could use some support I guess on? I’m trans and have been on T for seven months now and finally got my legal name change, which was a bit of a challenge due to me living in Australia but being bo... View more

Hey! I’ve got a bit of a complicated situation that I could use some support I guess on? I’m trans and have been on T for seven months now and finally got my legal name change, which was a bit of a challenge due to me living in Australia but being born in the uk. I’m still a minor so that makes the process even harder. I still am unable to change my legal sex due to having a uk birth certificate. At the end of this year my parents and I are going to east Africa. Tanzania, Uganda and Kenya (we were supposed to go to Ethiopia too but that’s obviously not going to happen given the situation there). It’s sort of a graduation trip for me and a trip my dad has been meaning to take given he was born in Kenya and hasn’t been back since he moved at 5. Anyway I bit of a ramble but it’s a very meaningful trip and I’ve been really looking forward to it. However, it’s east Africa and I’m trans. My parents say for my safety I have to basically live as a girl while I’m there. They’re going to use they/ them pronouns and people around us will treat me as a girl because my mum is afraid of complications that if they don’t and people see my passport with the big ass F on it, my safety will be compromised. I understand the situation and the safety aspect but at the same time I’m so angry and sad and frustrated. I finally thought I was done hiding that now I’m out and on T things would finally be okay and I could be myself. I want to travel, it’s my one dream and I’m so enraged by how being trans has limited so much of my life already, I’m only 16, I’ve wasted at least 5 years in confusion and a false sense of belonging. I don’t know what to do, I’m definitely going and I wouldn’t change that for the world but I don’t want to fall back into a cycle of constant dysphoria and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’m 50 days clean and the best I’ve been in years but the thought of having to hide away again and pretend is really setting me back mentally. I don’t know what to do.Sorry for this ramble I’m just a bit of a mess over this

Jtang1189 Negative thoughts pls go away! :(
  • replies: 4

Hi, I had used to have gay thoughts since around 1 or 2 years back for a period of time, however I tried to overcome those thoughts by praying to buddha daily, as I am a Buddhist. Even though I managed to overcome them, there was this thought that I ... View more

Hi, I had used to have gay thoughts since around 1 or 2 years back for a period of time, however I tried to overcome those thoughts by praying to buddha daily, as I am a Buddhist. Even though I managed to overcome them, there was this thought that I ever had for a few days, which indicates that I am destined to be gay. I don't even understand why I had this thought even though I know that I am not gay, as I had tried to experiment myself before. It had triggered my panic attacks, as I had suffered since last year November, when I was preparing for my university exams, and my panic attack has been there for me ever since. I even considered seeing a psychologist as I felt that I could not take it anymore. My panic attack was partly due to stress and it has affected my social and daily life, as I had suffered from panic attacks now and then. I ever tried to counter those stress by taking deep breaths and pray to buddha about it, but it's just that this so-called thought (destined gay thoughts) was the final turning point that had triggered my panic attacks, which made me unable to take it anymore, as I tend to worry a lot unnecessarily. To be honest, I can’t stand being gay now and then I thought of telling my friend and family about this story, but I was afraid of being discriminated as they may get the wrong idea. I was wondering whether it is true that I am destined to be gay. I hope someone can enlighten me on this please.

Carmen02 I'm tired, traumatised and been depressed for so long I don't know anything else.
  • replies: 2

I've been depressed since I was about 8 years old, officially diagnosed at 12 and it never went away I'm 22 now. I suffered from abuse during my childhood and grew up in an unstable and unsupportive household from both parents, won't go into too much... View more

I've been depressed since I was about 8 years old, officially diagnosed at 12 and it never went away I'm 22 now. I suffered from abuse during my childhood and grew up in an unstable and unsupportive household from both parents, won't go into too much detail as it's uncomfortable to think about. I don't know, I'm just tired of feeling numb and empty. I dissociate and feel like I live outside my body, I don't remember things that happen, days blur together. I'm trying to study nursing so I have something in the future, but studying is so impossible at the moment, especially when I can't even get out of bed or shower so I'm barely scraping by, and only getting attendance through being online in bed. I have a partner who I live with and he's wonderful, we both struggle with mental health but it displays very differently for us, so somehow it sort of gets us functioning in a weird way when we work together if that makes sense. I try really hard for him, to get better and not show how much I'm struggling because I know it really impacts his wellbeing when I'm in my lows. I love him and don't want him to be sad which is why I haven't done anything yet. I want to try and build a future with him, and be healthy with him, but everything I try doesn't seem to work. I've been to many therapists, none of which has actually helped me. I've tried medication which has actually done more harm than good for me, I've done every single mindfulness, meditation, art, music therapy, hobbies which I can't seem to find interest in anything. I've even dabbled into spirituality because I was so desperate for something, but I just can't believe in it. I feel so bad, and want him to be okay, but I'm worried I won't be able to stop myself from negative thougths; if I continue like this for much longer. sorry if this was a complete nightmare to read, my thoughts are running everywhere and I just needed to get that out somewhere.

Eli886 Out of Options
  • replies: 5

Hey just felt like I needed to get this out there somewhere. For the past 8 years I’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression and the only thing I can think about is killing myself. I know that my mental illness is not my fault as it runs in my f... View more

Hey just felt like I needed to get this out there somewhere. For the past 8 years I’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression and the only thing I can think about is killing myself. I know that my mental illness is not my fault as it runs in my family but this does not make me feel any better. I have tried so hard to rid myself of these feeling yet no matter how hard I try nothing works. I’ve been to counselling which didn’t help, I’ve change jobs, tried making new friends, doing exercise pretty much any sort of help that is recommended yet nothing seems to change. I am so tired and have lost any and all hope that I will get better. I’ve isolated myself from my family and friends as I am tired of putting up a front and do not enjoy doing anything anymore. I am so lost and feel as if I am out of options. The only choices I see left are to either keep living feeling like this or to end my life. I know that my family care about me and would be upset if I ended my life but this does not make me feel any better, if anything it makes me feel worse knowing that I have to suffer for the sake of other people’s wellbeing.