Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Not coping

replies: 5

Yesterday morning I was in a dark place MH wise. Everything hurt so much that didn’t want to live anymore. Thanks to the love of 2 cats I phoned local prevention team and spoke to MH nurse who as part of the phone conversation triaged me and did referral for me to be accepted into their program. Tried doing different things during the day but couldn’t settle. Ended up driving approx 30mins and spending few hours with a cousin. Another disturbed and restless night but ‘slept’ for 13 hours. about 1pm returned miss call and spoke to Ben from local MH team who has booked me an appointment for 1pm tomorrow to start to get help from the team. He advised team consists of variety of experienced staff including psychologists and psychiatrists and that while I am under their care they will provide updates to my local dr plus current therapists. as I explained to this Ben, I’ve only recently moved to lifestyle village so I don’t feel so alone and have lots of social activities I can choose to get involved in to give me things to do but last few days my thoughts have gone negative again …. I’m tired, tired of being in tears that I can’t stop and can last for hours, tired of within the same day flipping from being happy to being in tears. Without my cats I dread to think what actions I would have taken within last few days. I am safe and know I would never intentionally do anything to leave my cats alone. They need me as much as I need them. Part of me yesterday didn’t think or care about my cats, when I realised I got more upset and felt guilty and knew I need help

I am safe at the moment - thoughts of self harm

replies: 12

Hi I am so confused with what is going on for me. I have always been a strong person and looked out for those around me. I have lost 4 relatives in less than 2 years, one of my sisters being the last in May from covid. In the past 6 weeks I have self-harmed twice. I have never done that before. I am talking to a psychologist once sometimes twice a week. Tonight, I had thoughts of it again but didn't act, was able to use some of the tools I have learnt and redirected my thoughts. I don't understand why I am even having these thoughts, I am not suicidal and I really don't want to hurt myself either. What is wrong with me????

at my lowest

replies: 8

Well I think I hit rock bottom tonight. I started a discussion earlier tonight after I was falsely accused at school of slapping a student. I can't get the thought of the repercussions out of my head. It just keeps swirling around in my head and no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about it. I need to sleep but I can't. The urges are so strong tonight, the worst they have ever been, but I am trying to stay safe. It is so hard. How do people fight the urges when they are really strong?????

How do I cope with 6 different high stress things at the same time???

replies: 2

How do I cope with 6 different high stress things at the same time??? My wife has had 2 mental breakdowns in 10 weeks and i have taken on everything that keeps the house running.. We have 2 children with Autism and ADHD with behaviours spiralling out of control. We have 2 separate NDIS reviews happening at the same time. Our house has been found to have black mould after storm damage so we are going in to temporary accommodation while it is repaired under insurance. I have workplace bullying. And I am trying to recover from major surgery in April this year. I had a mental breakdown yesterday.

maladaptive daydreaming symptom and suicidal thoughts

replies: 4

I have been suicidal for what feels like my whole life and I daydream a lot to cope, almost constantly - I dream about just being happy and loved, it’s very addicting and my real life is going down the drain. I have autism, I know I will probably never have the connections and relationships I dream about, so dreaming about it is the only way I can experience it - to have to snap out of it and realise I will be lonely, unlovable and ugly for the rest of my life hurts more than anything and it terrifies me. I feel like daydreaming is the only thing that keeps me alive, I can talk to someone who cares about me and comforts me when I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown (which helped me stay safe in the past)... a person who doesn't exist. If I stop im scared I’ll want to kill myself ill be so alone, but if I keep going I’ll kill my future and then it feels like i will have no choice but to. Im ok for now, but scared for my future. Im young so maybe i can change and make things better but im scared its too late - other people my age are independent and doing well but im behind I dont know what to do, just wanted to talk

Managed to get through self harm and suicidal thoughts today

replies: 8

A trigger today pushed me over into a drive towards thoughts of self-harm. I need to tell someone as I don't feel I have anyone I can talk to, even if I am talking to invisible cyberspace. The trigger was being informed by the strata company of a particular pesticide possibly being sprayed on the lawns where I live. Something told me to research it. I have a disease that destroys the intrahepatic bile ducts (small bile ducts in the liver). The research I found indicated this pesticide's strongest correlation with cancers is specifically cancer of the intrahepatic bile ducts. Given my liver has only recently stabilised it felt stressful to deal with, as I am doing everything to try to prevent it progressing. But I've spoken to the gardener today and will get back to him and the strata company tomorrow to advise I don't want it to be sprayed, at least not on my lawn. I know he will agree following our conversation today not to do it during which I told him I'm going to do research to look into it. But it was the feeling of being invaded by something toxic that just pushed me over the edge. I've been dealing with very upsetting toxic family circumstances that I feel powerless to do anything about, and then being told of an actual toxin that felt like a threat being sprayed at my home sent me into further feelings of powerlessness. I just had a major drive to self-harm because I've been dealing with intense grief and already woke this morning with a really strong feeling of sick anxiety that has been there for a couple of weeks now. I just desperately needed to feel something other than distress and powerlessness. I feel I have lost the family I once knew as part of my identity. I feel very much alone. I have a lovely cousin but she is dealing with significant challenges herself at the moment, and I don't want to burden her with my stuff. And my good friend in the city has a beautiful new baby, and I haven't wanted to bring distress into their world. I have a very kind neighbour who has said I can drop in for a cup of tea anytime. But because of so many experiences of being harmed since a child I really struggle to believe anyone is safe, even when they show multiple instances of being safe. I am still waiting for something to go wrong and someone to turn and hurt me. My psychologist is one of the few people I know are safe, but I probably even protect her in a way from the worst of what I feel. At times I am just in unbearable distress because I feel so isolated. I am very used to isolation which I felt from the beginning of life, but it's like my system can't do it anymore. I've made major efforts in the past to connect outwardly and it's been helpful in many instances, but the additional traumas of the last few years have made the world seem even more threatening. I have a lot of trauma flashbacks. I know I need to have some good experiences to counter the bad ones, but my trust has been really damaged. I feel the only safe place is to withdraw. I know there are some safe people, like the kind ladies in the local cafe. One of them has been particularly kind with me and basically drew it out of me that I was struggling after I kept trying to say "I'm good". It's really hard for me not to deflect. I know if I allow myself to feel the anxiety and be present with it, it helps more than if I try to suppress it. So I think it will ease in the coming days. But I just needed to write that out. I feel I have no one to tell what I'm going through, at least I don't want to tell them the worst things. I can feel I still have some life-preservation instinct left so I think I will fight for my own life. It's just such a struggle sometimes to keep going.

wow

replies: 6

Well, what a 72 hrs it has been. Went to school (work) on Tuesday expecting to just plod along and get through the day the best way I could like has been my life lately. But one accusation from a less that kind student and my whole world has spiralled out of control for 48 hours. I have self-harmed 3 times, been to the doctor for medical attention for the last one, had my first ever suicidal thought and somehow come out the other side. I have some amazing supportive friends and the support through these forums is incredible. I am not under any illusions that somehow my darkest hours are done and dusted, but for now I am ok. I hope I never go through a similar experience as what I have since Tuesday lunchtime, but I am also fully aware that it is a possibility that it will happen again. This journey only really started for me a matter of a couple of months ago, but I have already learnt so much about mental illness and the things that sufferers go through. I have a lot of learning still to do and a lot of healing still to happen, but I hope one day in the future all of this will be just a memory.

Anyone else feel like they just failed everyone and like they just can’t take anymore

replies: 1

This year has been like super super tough on me, my best friend was diagnosed with cancer and given maybe a year left to live, I lost three of my closest friends bc they didn’t think I was “cool” enough, my parents got really stressed with work and money. And not gonna lie I just feel like I’m not doing good enough for anyone and like I have no purpose. My parents always tell me I have done something good enough, or I failed at something. It just gets me down, yk? So much so that I was going to commit suicide earlier this year, I actually did try to, ig I just need people to talk it out to, but everyone just tells me it’s hormones or I’m just tired, like what the hell, I actually want to die and y’all are telling me this?! So yeah if anyone has any tips or finding their purpose please share xoxoxo

Theories on suicidal thoughts

replies: 14

HiOne of my favourite psychologists is Jordan Peterson. He has hundreds of videos on Youtube. He mentions in one lecture that his belief is that a common reason for suicidal thoughts is that the person cannot tolerate the complexities of their lives. For us humans have hundreds of tasks every day and new ones coming along not to mention the stresses of financial struggles, bullying, separation from family and friends and possible drug abuse. And those can be the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps to help ourselves we should lower that complexity by reverting to a pre adult simplicity. Reduce stress numbers by removing them. Toxic friends or family? remove them. Consolidate debts, draw up a financial plan so you have a better outlook in 12 months. And so on. Shape a +ve pathway. I've long time been an advocate for replacing negative thinking for positive outlooks and plans. Reading posts here of how people are treated poorly at school (bullying) or their own negative thinking so inground they know no other way of thinking. Please allow me to guide you- there is no better transformation to a better life than realising your thinking is self destructive and to move towards a positive outlook on everything- everything. You hurt your leg and you spend weeks in a wheelchair - think! you have arms and hands to write, to touch a loved ones face to show care... how lucky You fail a topic at school, give yourself time to adjust to it then think! how lucky you can get education. Drop that subject, add another, we all have limits so accept it that it isnt a topic for you. Be realistic You have an upset at home, go for a walk, focus on life, on the bees collecting nectar, the old lady carrying shopping inside (offer to help as helping others elevates your worth), feel the breeze Climb a hill once a month. Sit in silence and watch the sun set. It will take 2 hours start to finish. Dont move. When I did this a small bird landed on my shoulder- how special is that? Appreciate the wonder of a sunset. Occasionally remove yourself from your obsessions like study, mobile phones, games and "fun". Add to your life the addictiveness of life itself. It's right at your doorstep if you look. Love yourself, your uniqueness.. there is no other like you. So, are you hoping for a small change to your life? I wouldn't be happy unless it totally transformed your life. https://wordpaint.com/prem/en/when_sunset.htm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X30sWycWz4o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgh08mZ355Q TonyWK

I feel so messed up

replies: 2

My life is a mess. No friends, no job, bugger all savings left, relationship is on the edge, no extended family, narcissistic cruel mother, my children seem to not care at all about me yet I’m always there for them, depressed, severely anxious, C-PTSD, chronic illness, social anxiety, suicidal because I just can’t see any way out of this mess. I always feel like I’m standing on the outside looking in at people enjoying their lives. I feel like a burden on my partner and feel like everyone would be better off without me. I have tried to see doctors- they are all the same… cold, uncaring, completely detached (DGAF). Psychologists are even worse, with their sterile and robotic responses or worse, their silent judgements that make you feel worse about yourself. I have also tried CBT, gratitude journalling, exercise, yoga, hypnosis, meditation, mindfulness, reiki, counselling, shadow work, inner child work, trauma therapy… and still im a depressed mess who can’t get it together. Why the hell am I here? What is the purpose of this ‘life’? To suffer endlessly? To watch everyone else get ahead? I want to live but it feels everyone hates me including the damn world. I’m circling the drain…

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 96

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Not coping replies: 5

I am safe at the moment - thoughts of self harm replies: 12

at my lowest replies: 8

How do I cope with 6 different high stress things at the same time??? replies: 2

maladaptive daydreaming symptom and suicidal thoughts replies: 4

Managed to get through self harm and suicidal thoughts today replies: 8

wow replies: 6

Anyone else feel like they just failed everyone and like they just can’t take anymore replies: 1

Theories on suicidal thoughts replies: 14

I feel so messed up replies: 2