Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Steps- Survive Change Recover Reflect Avoid

replies: 0

In my experience steps post an attempt are almost set in stone. My attempt in 1996 and several episodes that clearly were not attempts but were approaching them, all had these steps as a process, so lets look at them. Someone's first true attempt at ... View more

In my experience steps post an attempt are almost set in stone. My attempt in 1996 and several episodes that clearly were not attempts but were approaching them, all had these steps as a process, so lets look at them. Someone's first true attempt at taking their own life is a harrowing occasion, it's a time when logic is removed. SURVIVE To think about survival during this period is to have logic remaining as part of your thoughts so that is asking a lot in these circumstances. However, in future attempts (or thoughts) the presence of logic might be there if you realise that you need to think that way. We are talking prevention so we need to find ways to prevent going down to the attempt stage. CHANGE (your environment) During an experience whereby I was approaching an attempt and obviously very upset I knew I needed help. So as I always suggest- change ones environment, I walked and headed towards our local GP surgery where I told the receptionist "I need help"... and got it immediately. You might need to change your accommodation, partner status... anything to avoid the direction you were travelling down. RECOVER Time is a master but time cannot be rushed. It could be a grief period you are going through and we all know that it takes time to process that and there is no answer to that except forced distraction like a sport, hobby, company of others, therapy groups and so on. Those activities keep you grounded to your normal life activities that keep reminding you what life was like before the spiral. Emotional trauma isnt a nice place to exist so within us is the survivor that really doesnt want to be there. Forcing yourself to break through from that distraught place is needed. Get up and walk... do anything! Walk around the block, stare at the bees, smile at a stranger... anything. REFLECT Once recovery is in progress you'll feel better and this is where you can look back on those days/weeks/months where you know you were at risk. You know it wasnt a place you'll want to repeat and it is only you that can prevent that. Reflecting is a natural way of recovering the same as animals reflect upon a conflict with another dangerous animal. It is not unhealthy to reflect. AVOID 28 years on I still avoid going down that path to an attempt. I dont talk about the actual act, its too traumatic. However the positive is that I know my limits and I know the process I force myself to carry out as in the steps above Avoidance is the roadblock. U-turn to see life's beauty TonyWK

Everything's too much and I don't know what to do

replies: 5

Title. I'm sick of having government freaks from centrelink breath down my neck trying to force me to work a job I can't mentally take. I just want an out. I feel like I'm truly coming up on my ending. My partner is American and I need this money to ... View more

Title. I'm sick of having government freaks from centrelink breath down my neck trying to force me to work a job I can't mentally take. I just want an out. I feel like I'm truly coming up on my ending. My partner is American and I need this money to figure out the convoluted immigration system every country's adopted because 9/11 ruined the world. Capitalism and the need to work myself to death is terrible it's all i think about. I'm not built for this world. I'm 21 now - I had to leave high school in year 11 because it was too much for me. I've worked one job for two months since then and I truly hated it. Left because I was bullied for being trans by staff and upper management. And those people will never ever understand suffering like I do. My whole life has been suffering. I was abused at a very young age by my dad and it's impacted my life forever. Every day I have panic attacks and am just sad. All I do is sit here and listen to 100 gecs or death grips while dissociating. I'm not built for a capitalist world where human life is thrown to the side in the eternal chase for higher and higher profits. I truly have been having more and more suicidal ideations and it's terrible. Nothing truly interests me. Any sort of job would just drive me insane. Sorry that this post is just a ramble lol i'm just putting every thought that comes into my head down onto the keyboard.

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Chronic suicidal thoughts, does it get better?

replies: 17

Hi all, I am new here. After suffering several childhood trauma, I have developed complex PTSD, recurring depressions and chronic suicidal thoughts.I have been living with chronic suicidal thoughts for the past 30 years. Almost every day the thoughts... View more

Hi all, I am new here. After suffering several childhood trauma, I have developed complex PTSD, recurring depressions and chronic suicidal thoughts.I have been living with chronic suicidal thoughts for the past 30 years. Almost every day the thoughts are on my mind; background thoughts if it is a good day, forefront of my mind on a bad day.I am seeing a psychologist and I am on antidepressants but the thoughts are still there. My psychologist reckons they will never go away.Can I imagine to one day live a "normal life" ( i.e., not feeling worthless and hopeless all the time) even with chronic suicidal thoughts?

addicted to suicidal thoughts?

replies: 2

I’m not sure how to word this, but I feel like I’m ‘addicted’ to having suicidal thoughts? Now, to preface this, I’m very satisfied with my life and acknowledge that I’m very privileged. I’m also not actually suicidal; it would realistically hurt too... View more

I’m not sure how to word this, but I feel like I’m ‘addicted’ to having suicidal thoughts? Now, to preface this, I’m very satisfied with my life and acknowledge that I’m very privileged. I’m also not actually suicidal; it would realistically hurt too much and I don’t want to traumatise my family. Since I was about 12 or 13 though I always thought about how much better it would be if I could die, and now it’s just constant to a point where I don’t stop thinking about killing myself unless I’m absorbed or distracted by doing something. Again, I don’t really want to die, but I can’t stop wishing I don’t have to wake up the next day. Being unconscious is probably the most peace I feel. It feels like as the days pass on, my doom is nearing, as dramatic as that sounds. The only reason I’ve been able to make it thus far is because I’m so privileged and because I’ve been blessed to have people who I can depend on and who still put up with me. But I know that I can’t depend on others forever, and of course I’m trying to be independent, but god am I so incompetent at everything I do and I don’t have a good personality either. I’m not kind, charismatic or optimistic; I’m terribly selfish, introverted and pessimistic, and I can’t even do ‘basic’ things other people can do like… hold a conversation. I don’t really go outside unless it’s necessary (eg grocery shopping, school) because I get really anxious about having attention on me, and it’s so sad because I want to spend time with my friends, but it’s a massive hurdle to overcome every time and never gets easier than the last. I have a similar-ish problem with my self harm too, where it’s just there. I’ve started it a while ago too, but nowadays, I don’t really do it because I’m super hurt or sad or anything (that would be a bit too often) but it’s just there and I’ll just do it if I feel like it. Of course I never hurt myself too much, so maybe that’s why, but it comes as easily as writing or drawing, and I can never bring myself to care that much about it like everyone else does. (Not that I am trying to justify it; I would be very concerned if anyone I knew, or anyone at all, was self-harming, no matter the degree. And it does make me really sad to accidentally see it online, even when I try to avoid it) So, I really don’t want to come off as insensitive, but I can’t stop wishing that I won’t have to wake up the next day.

Living in my car

replies: 1

The owner of the house that I was renting for the last 4years, passed away they gave me 30 days to move out, I have done everything possible, I have put my name everywhere, nothing is available for a 69year old man, the only thing is to place me with... View more

The owner of the house that I was renting for the last 4years, passed away they gave me 30 days to move out, I have done everything possible, I have put my name everywhere, nothing is available for a 69year old man, the only thing is to place me with mentally unhealthy and like, people, I am now living in my car, like so many others, the alternatives are worst. So sad, depressed, covered in mosquito bites, can't take much more I get a ton of advice from everyone but no real help from anyone

I lost my purpose

replies: 3

i have no purpose anymore. they ignored me and abandoned me without even saying goodbye. why spend valentines with me if you're going to abandon me for someone else. we used to be together but they had to break up because of how busy and stressful th... View more

i have no purpose anymore. they ignored me and abandoned me without even saying goodbye. why spend valentines with me if you're going to abandon me for someone else. we used to be together but they had to break up because of how busy and stressful their life became - moving to Adelaide, living alone responsibilities, uni, work, working out, etc. they told me they weren't ready for dating. it was understandable. i waited so long for them. they still had feelings for me, it was obvious. they just weren't ready. i just wanted them to be happy. i just wanted them to be satisfied in life. i wanted to be there for them everyday to support and comfort them. i wanted to help them with anything and everything. i was prepared to invest so much time, love, and effort for them. so much for not being ready for dating. they lied to me. all the things they've told me, were they all lies? they even said they missed my cuddles, and used some of my cologne i gave them as a valentines gift. they said this just prior to abandoning me. i trusted you. but i guess i shouldn't have. you wasted my life. i can never get back the time you took from me. my heart is irreversibly damaged. i have no purpose anymore. therapy is too expensive - 280/hr is bs. i feel like i have no point anymore. i didn't even wash my face this morning. i dont know how much longer ill still be alive. i dont want to die. everything i worked for was for nothing. im sorry. im sorry i wasn't good enough. you deserved better than me anyway.

So tired of this

replies: 3

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t know how I’m meant to celebrate being here, but of course I can’t tell people that or they’ll worry.I feel exhausted, like I’ve got so long left before I can. And in the meantime I have to preten... View more

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t know how I’m meant to celebrate being here, but of course I can’t tell people that or they’ll worry.I feel exhausted, like I’ve got so long left before I can. And in the meantime I have to pretend to be a person when I can’t see any future and I can’t really remember a time that I have. Work and health has been bad lately and I’m thinking about it more. I haven’t been having impulses yet, but where I’m at right now seems so familiar. Like I’m just on the edge of a bit of a meltdown.I feel bad that I periodically post here. I don’t really know what I want from if, and I wish I could help others more. I often just don’t know what to say, or what I need. I think just writing helps a bit because I don’t talk about this to anyone in real life. So, sorry if you’re reading. And thanks.

Completely Lost

replies: 1

It's been an epic life. Just not in the way one would have hoped. Lots of childhood trauma due to neglect & abuse in all it's forms. In a forever cycle of people pleasing in order to feel safe as a resalt but at what cost?? I thought l had finally wo... View more

It's been an epic life. Just not in the way one would have hoped. Lots of childhood trauma due to neglect & abuse in all it's forms. In a forever cycle of people pleasing in order to feel safe as a resalt but at what cost?? I thought l had finally worked it out and done well to get where l am despite it all and decided that l deserved all the things l wanted for myself that l was always made to feel l didn't. But here l am years later with what seems like everything l wanted and life but the isolation of covid took a toll on my mental health and now l can't hold a job longer than 6 months at a time l, my moods are all over the place lm sad and angry all the time my partner and baby girl need me to have my shit together but lm ready to just die. I know it's not right but the guilt of feeling like a failure to them is too much and l can't afford the phsyc bills needed to help me to get out of this fear driven cycle I'm in.

suicide is a western phenonemon

replies: 2

For many years i have wondered why suicide is such a bad subject with people/ why is it such a taboo. why if a person feels so marginalized and unworthy why cannot they end their life and not have to face x amount of years and torment. my passing sol... View more

For many years i have wondered why suicide is such a bad subject with people/ why is it such a taboo. why if a person feels so marginalized and unworthy why cannot they end their life and not have to face x amount of years and torment. my passing solves my problem so why should i worry about others who will feel so put out by my passing for about a week and then move on. This is i feel a western idea .interested to get an idea from others .