Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 92

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Dally1983  I’m depressed 
  • replies: 4

I suffer from mental health I drink I have emotions I have no family friends im gonna spend my life alone I’m not like everyone else I feel bad about myself and I’m depressed because of it im not interested in changing sober up to what sit alone in t... View more

I suffer from mental health I drink I have emotions I have no family friends im gonna spend my life alone I’m not like everyone else I feel bad about myself and I’m depressed because of it im not interested in changing sober up to what sit alone in this house

ts7892 So alone but no one knows
  • replies: 4

I have feelings of self-harming. I don't know why. I am normally logical, and scientific. I have people who care about me - i think.... but I could never tell them about these thoughts. They expect more of me? I just feel so alone. Why do I think lik... View more

I have feelings of self-harming. I don't know why. I am normally logical, and scientific. I have people who care about me - i think.... but I could never tell them about these thoughts. They expect more of me? I just feel so alone. Why do I think like this? Why do I want to hurt myself? What is wrong with me?

Riss_M Suicidal but not suffering.
  • replies: 6

Hi, Just wanted to jump on here and explain where I am at. At the moment I have extreme ideation, but I don’t necessarily feel sad or depressed. I have the best job, I honestly love it. My family is amazing. I can enjoy my day, smile and laugh; and I... View more

Hi, Just wanted to jump on here and explain where I am at. At the moment I have extreme ideation, but I don’t necessarily feel sad or depressed. I have the best job, I honestly love it. My family is amazing. I can enjoy my day, smile and laugh; and I even feel like I have things to contribute. I see value in my work and in my family life, but I still want to die. I know it’s a common saying that people don’t really want to die, they just want their suffering to end; but I don’t feel as though I’m suffering, I feel like the same way that people don’t like cats, some people don’t like life. I absolutely know the devastation that my death would cause. I know that people care about me, I know I’m loved, I know that I have things to offer the world; so I am very confused about why I am feeling the way that I am. just wonder if anyone can relate or share their perspective of what’s happening for me right now. Much love x

Kitty42 I think I should be in hospital...
  • replies: 9

I've had depression for as long as I can remember, and have had suicidal and intrusive thoughts for about the past 4 years. But lately.. it's getting to the point where it is all I can think about. I don't know where this intense feeling has come fro... View more

I've had depression for as long as I can remember, and have had suicidal and intrusive thoughts for about the past 4 years. But lately.. it's getting to the point where it is all I can think about. I don't know where this intense feeling has come from, or why it's gotten so bad, and honestly I'm terrified. These thoughts are interrupting everything; I can't sleep, I have little appetite, I can't focus at work or during my studies. I've been seriously considering admitting myself into a hospital - but I just can't bring myself to do it. I was taken to hospital for a similar thing just under a year ago.. but the difference was, someone took me basically against my will. The whole time I was there, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I felt as though I wasn't sick enough to be there - that I was taking valuable time away from other patients for something really pathetic. I just have no idea what else to do, can someone please help me, it feels like I'm drowning

adnanshrnly There must be a restart button somewhere
  • replies: 2

It's impossible that we get to play this one time and gotta live with how things played out in the first attempt. Why can't I just start things over? I've observed how life works now and will know better next time. Really, why isn't there a second ch... View more

It's impossible that we get to play this one time and gotta live with how things played out in the first attempt. Why can't I just start things over? I've observed how life works now and will know better next time. Really, why isn't there a second chance to life? Makes no sense at all.

JoyBoy33 I’m tired of the fighting the voice inside of my head everyday
  • replies: 1

It’s been almost 3 years since the break up of me and my partner of 5 years. We were childhood friends whose families knew each other. We drifted apart for about a decades before finding each other again and it all just clicked. It really felt like i... View more

It’s been almost 3 years since the break up of me and my partner of 5 years. We were childhood friends whose families knew each other. We drifted apart for about a decades before finding each other again and it all just clicked. It really felt like it was meant to be. It was love at first sight. She was everything I wanted in a girl. Beautiful, Smart, funny, caring, empathetic. She’s a teacher who goes above and beyond for her students and even more so for those closest to her. I had everything going for me until I messed it all up by cheating on her with a fling from my past. I had on and off again formed an emotional attachment to this other woman who I had no feelings for, but because of my intimacy desire I kept gravitating back towards her. She was my first, the one I lost my virginity to so in a strange way I sort of felt indebted to her in some way. Sired if you will. We never did anything or met up. We talked openly and freely about intimacy topics, we reminisced about our times together and how we wished for a threesome someway somehow. My then partner had caught me in my lies and went through my entire message history with her. To say it devastated her was an understatement. The wool had been pulled away from her eyes. To her I was no longer the loving boyfriend but the man who had broken her heart after she had let down her walls. The man who had betrayed her trust and took her for granted. I will never forget the pain and anguish that I saw in her eyes that night. It still haunts me till this day. Everyday I wake up filled with regret that I hurt such an innocent, decent person who loved me unconditionally. I think about her all day and night, I think about how much I miss her and still love her to the point where my chest feels like it’s about to cave in. I’m so angry and torn that I could do such a thing to someone that I still love so much. I’ve never felt such long lasting pain in my life. Knowing that she’ll never take me back. Knowing that I got to live the rest of my life without her. She’s left such a mark on my heart that it feels impossible to let go. That’s why I cling onto this pain as a way to remind me of her even though it’s eating away at my soul. I’ve been to therapy and from what I can discern is that my need to seek that extra love and attention stems from my father walking away from me at a young age. It’s manifested into my desires in trying to find that love which is twisted when I think about it.

Wtbfopain2022 Feeling alone and tired if life
  • replies: 9

Hi Just going through the loss if the family big and best friend. Not the first time dealing with this and doesn't get easier with experience. Always had issues with trying to make friends with people. But always seem to end up being used, when they ... View more

Hi Just going through the loss if the family big and best friend. Not the first time dealing with this and doesn't get easier with experience. Always had issues with trying to make friends with people. But always seem to end up being used, when they want help I try to help. Soon as I would like someone to talk to it feels like everyone runs to the hills. I am so tired of this rubbish. Most of my family has now passed away. It just feels pointless going on anymore. Haven't worked for many years, close friendship fell apart last year. Really don't know what to do anymore.

possibly_euphoria I can not help but self harm, I just want it all to stop.
  • replies: 3

I still self harm. I’m nearly 34. I got told “I’d grow out of it” when I was 23 but itself sabotage, self harming, addiction to alcohol and substance abuse is ruining me. I work in a high corporate position and everyday I have to mask how depressed I... View more

I still self harm. I’m nearly 34. I got told “I’d grow out of it” when I was 23 but itself sabotage, self harming, addiction to alcohol and substance abuse is ruining me. I work in a high corporate position and everyday I have to mask how depressed I am, hide the evidence I've harmed myself. I’m crippled with social anxiety which has always been there but I lost over 50kilos and now everyone comments on my weight and ask if “I’m sick”. My family was involved in the recent floods, lost everything…I think I carry a survivors guilt. The stories and people I met, really effected me but as I live out of my hometown, I guess I’m not a flood victim but was there as it all unfolded. I’m diagnosed ADHD and I go through serious ups and then extremely down states and believe I also have undiagnosed Bipolar. I’m so suicidal that I’m scared of what I might do. My partner has called my psychiatrist for an emergency appointment and I’ve been avoiding everyone for a month placing my phone on DND. I stay up late, don’t sleep or eat. Just drink wine. I honestly don’t see the point of being here. I have nothing to offer, no money and in debt. I can’t even be a basic adult. I need so much help to function and I’m just over it now. The older I get the worse it gets.

Lazy probably just puberty.
  • replies: 9

why, just why. why do i have to feel like this? every night its "your ugly nobody likes you. cut your wrists, run away." those thoughts repeat over and over in my head. why? probably just puberty i guess. -but my life is fine at the moment. fine frie... View more

why, just why. why do i have to feel like this? every night its "your ugly nobody likes you. cut your wrists, run away." those thoughts repeat over and over in my head. why? probably just puberty i guess. -but my life is fine at the moment. fine friends, fine mum. so why? maybe because of trauma? but that was 6 years ago why now? i don't even remember half of the stuff that happened. jesus, why do i have to feel like? maybe because the one time i told my best friend i was self harming she didn't seem to care? maybe because i don't have many friends? maybe because my face is absolutely ugly? probably just puberty. you know what's funny? i like being sad, not for attention i promise. but just when i'm alone in my room. when i'm sad i am more in the present than ever, i feel calm. i'm not trying to impress anyone i can just cry or sit there listening to music. being sad or 'emotionless' just lets me think. its as if my mind goes into this state of tiredness and self hate. where i'm the only one criticizing myself, where i'm the only one who can hurt me. but then i start to overthink everything. what if this is what death is like? sadness, empty minded, unable to feel but able to recognise hurt? only able to feel what we all truly feel. confusing huh? i guess. i mean i guess that's why i want to die so much. the thought of always being in a state of calm. nothing to worry about, no guilt. just nothing. sounds like a dream- well at least my dream. i guess im halfway there though. never showing much emotion, always tired. detaching myself from daily things. i dont know whats going on anymore, hell, i can't even remember simple things i just heard 5 seconds ago. i can't remember anything. i dont have anymore motivation. i've been down this hole before but of course, just ofcourse. i've had to fall in it again. guess holidays have really made me focus on whether life is that important to keep living for. although everyone says life is too short, then why does it feel like an eternity, why am i waiting for an end? i guess its just puberty. i wish i had more friends. no i'm not talking about being popular. i just mean 1-2 close friends who i know will be there for me like i would be there for them. i've told my best friend multiple times "i'm here if you ever want to talk" when do i get to hear that directed towards me. i don't tell anyone how i feel because they either make it about themselves or don't care.Who knows it's probably just puberty.

romantic_thi3f Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?
  • replies: 707

Hi everyone, This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important. I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often ... View more

Hi everyone, This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important. I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons. Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too. The reasons why I chose to stay - - My dogs. - Planning to die was very complicated. - I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better. and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.