Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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addicted to suicidal thoughts?

replies: 2

I’m not sure how to word this, but I feel like I’m ‘addicted’ to having suicidal thoughts? Now, to preface this, I’m very satisfied with my life and acknowledge that I’m very privileged. I’m also not actually suicidal; it would realistically hurt too much and I don’t want to traumatise my family. Since I was about 12 or 13 though I always thought about how much better it would be if I could die, and now it’s just constant to a point where I don’t stop thinking about killing myself unless I’m absorbed or distracted by doing something. Again, I don’t really want to die, but I can’t stop wishing I don’t have to wake up the next day. Being unconscious is probably the most peace I feel. It feels like as the days pass on, my doom is nearing, as dramatic as that sounds. The only reason I’ve been able to make it thus far is because I’m so privileged and because I’ve been blessed to have people who I can depend on and who still put up with me. But I know that I can’t depend on others forever, and of course I’m trying to be independent, but god am I so incompetent at everything I do and I don’t have a good personality either. I’m not kind, charismatic or optimistic; I’m terribly selfish, introverted and pessimistic, and I can’t even do ‘basic’ things other people can do like… hold a conversation. I don’t really go outside unless it’s necessary (eg grocery shopping, school) because I get really anxious about having attention on me, and it’s so sad because I want to spend time with my friends, but it’s a massive hurdle to overcome every time and never gets easier than the last. I have a similar-ish problem with my self harm too, where it’s just there. I’ve started it a while ago too, but nowadays, I don’t really do it because I’m super hurt or sad or anything (that would be a bit too often) but it’s just there and I’ll just do it if I feel like it. Of course I never hurt myself too much, so maybe that’s why, but it comes as easily as writing or drawing, and I can never bring myself to care that much about it like everyone else does. (Not that I am trying to justify it; I would be very concerned if anyone I knew, or anyone at all, was self-harming, no matter the degree. And it does make me really sad to accidentally see it online, even when I try to avoid it) So, I really don’t want to come off as insensitive, but I can’t stop wishing that I won’t have to wake up the next day.

Living in my car

replies: 1

The owner of the house that I was renting for the last 4years, passed away they gave me 30 days to move out, I have done everything possible, I have put my name everywhere, nothing is available for a 69year old man, the only thing is to place me with mentally unhealthy and like, people, I am now living in my car, like so many others, the alternatives are worst. So sad, depressed, covered in mosquito bites, can't take much more I get a ton of advice from everyone but no real help from anyone

I lost my purpose

replies: 3

i have no purpose anymore. they ignored me and abandoned me without even saying goodbye. why spend valentines with me if you're going to abandon me for someone else. we used to be together but they had to break up because of how busy and stressful their life became - moving to Adelaide, living alone responsibilities, uni, work, working out, etc. they told me they weren't ready for dating. it was understandable. i waited so long for them. they still had feelings for me, it was obvious. they just weren't ready. i just wanted them to be happy. i just wanted them to be satisfied in life. i wanted to be there for them everyday to support and comfort them. i wanted to help them with anything and everything. i was prepared to invest so much time, love, and effort for them. so much for not being ready for dating. they lied to me. all the things they've told me, were they all lies? they even said they missed my cuddles, and used some of my cologne i gave them as a valentines gift. they said this just prior to abandoning me. i trusted you. but i guess i shouldn't have. you wasted my life. i can never get back the time you took from me. my heart is irreversibly damaged. i have no purpose anymore. therapy is too expensive - 280/hr is bs. i feel like i have no point anymore. i didn't even wash my face this morning. i dont know how much longer ill still be alive. i dont want to die. everything i worked for was for nothing. im sorry. im sorry i wasn't good enough. you deserved better than me anyway.

So tired of this

replies: 3

It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t know how I’m meant to celebrate being here, but of course I can’t tell people that or they’ll worry.I feel exhausted, like I’ve got so long left before I can. And in the meantime I have to pretend to be a person when I can’t see any future and I can’t really remember a time that I have. Work and health has been bad lately and I’m thinking about it more. I haven’t been having impulses yet, but where I’m at right now seems so familiar. Like I’m just on the edge of a bit of a meltdown.I feel bad that I periodically post here. I don’t really know what I want from if, and I wish I could help others more. I often just don’t know what to say, or what I need. I think just writing helps a bit because I don’t talk about this to anyone in real life. So, sorry if you’re reading. And thanks.

Completely Lost

replies: 1

It's been an epic life. Just not in the way one would have hoped. Lots of childhood trauma due to neglect & abuse in all it's forms. In a forever cycle of people pleasing in order to feel safe as a resalt but at what cost?? I thought l had finally worked it out and done well to get where l am despite it all and decided that l deserved all the things l wanted for myself that l was always made to feel l didn't. But here l am years later with what seems like everything l wanted and life but the isolation of covid took a toll on my mental health and now l can't hold a job longer than 6 months at a time l, my moods are all over the place lm sad and angry all the time my partner and baby girl need me to have my shit together but lm ready to just die. I know it's not right but the guilt of feeling like a failure to them is too much and l can't afford the phsyc bills needed to help me to get out of this fear driven cycle I'm in.

suicide is a western phenonemon

replies: 2

For many years i have wondered why suicide is such a bad subject with people/ why is it such a taboo. why if a person feels so marginalized and unworthy why cannot they end their life and not have to face x amount of years and torment. my passing solves my problem so why should i worry about others who will feel so put out by my passing for about a week and then move on. This is i feel a western idea .interested to get an idea from others .

not been around for a while.

replies: 6

havent been here for a few years because i have been on top of or atleast keeping my brain in the closet for control. last few weeks have been realy shit after a bad accident and a loss of a long term lover . i am now struggling with thoughts of suic... View more

How to forgive yourself

replies: 69

How do you forgive yourself when the voice in your head constantly brings up the things you’ve done. If I can’t beat this it will consume me and that will be it. The only advice my psych has given me is that I’m not a bad person, I just made a mistake, a bad one at that but I need to forgive myself and move on. It sounds so easy , everything I’ve done just replays. I hate what I did, it’s not me. Others have forgiven me but I just can’t let go. I don’t know how to let go. I want to be free of this darkness that is shadowing me.

Depression from work

replies: 5

Hey everyone. I've recently started a new job that I was really keen for but I've ended up hating it. It's not what I expected at all. It's super repetitive and boring, and I'm on my feet all day which I hate. I have so much pain in my back, hands and feet since starting there and I have to get up at 4am every week day. I'm not new to depression and suicidal thoughts, definitely had them before but it's all come back because of this job! It's a struggle to wake up in the morning, I feel so depressed I don't usually eat anything and then I'm starving later, and the suicidal thoughts are just there straight away, sometimes lasting the whole shift. I wouldn't actually do anything but I'm just not coping with how much my brain and body are struggling. I am looking for a new job and I hope I can get out of this one ASAP but in the meantime I felt the need to reach out. Can anyone relate? I would quit if I had money saved

Feeling so depressed

replies: 2

I be struggling for a long time. I am on medication but I feel like that stop working. Each day is the same. It's wrose at night and when I wake up in the middle of the night. I just can't deal with nightmares any more. Life seem so pointless right now. I'm trying so hard to be safe but I can't go on each day feeling horrible. Child abuse fk me up big time. I don't even feel like I'm worth anything no more. I'm waiting to see a psychologist and my phych. But feel that won't help me. I'm not good at face to face things.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

addicted to suicidal thoughts? replies: 2

Living in my car replies: 1

I lost my purpose replies: 3

So tired of this replies: 3

Completely Lost replies: 1

suicide is a western phenonemon replies: 2

not been around for a while. replies: 6

How to forgive yourself replies: 69

Depression from work replies: 5

Feeling so depressed replies: 2