Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Don’t want to wake up

replies: 1

I don’t know what to do. Nothing helps, and I’ve been to many different therapists, been on every antidepressant/mood stabilisers, psych ward, hospital, you name it. All since age 14 and I’m almost 26. Recently been told by a trauma therapist that I have CPTSD. I have so much trauma and trust issues that I just isolate and don’t go anywhere. Especially since I had to move back with family due to my flatmate that put me in danger. Gave up alcohol, just ended up depending on other substances. Trying to sort EMDR but I honestly have no hope. Every day I beg the universe to please just let me go.

My son attempted suicide

replies: 5

Hello, the other night my 18 year old son attempted to take his life. This is his third suicide attempt that I know of. He says leading up to the episodes he hears voices in his head. They make him scared and he runs. The voices seem to be triggered by alcohol and/or a fight with his ex-girlfriend who he can’t let go of. She taunts him, takes him back one night, then ghosts him the next. Last weekend, he caught his friend in bed together which triggered the latest attempt. She sends nudes to her ex, then takes my son back into her bed. He took a job in another state and looked forward to a new start, but she followed him there. I have just driven hours to bring him home. He can’t see what she’s doing to him and still loves her. It’s like he’s obsessed. What’s worse is the times he feels the strength to make a break from the ex, he gets messages from her sister. He’s on depression meds but we are organising a psychiatrist to review him and re-think meds/diagnoses. I wonder if anyone has experience in how to cope with this kind of thing?

I won’t hurt myself but I want to

replies: 1

Over the past three days I’ve been having trouble with my girlfriend I’ve been with her a year now and she has made me so happy until she only recently mentioned that she had slept with someone else at the beginning of the relationship which I had since forgiven her from as she stayed up all night explaining herself to me 3 days ago I found out that she had been talking to around 10 other guys that had all asked her for nudes or made sexual comments about her and I confronted her about this I told her how much she had hurt me and her response was that she had no idea that I would have a problem with that and that it was normal she has been talking to me all day today but nothing at all on the first day I’m really struggling and I need some help coping

I don’t know what to do

replies: 2

I recently turned 20 and I have been spiralling since, worrying about growing older, what i’m going to do with my life, scared of ending up alone. I just can’t imagine feeling like this for the rest of my life and i have been thinking about suicide a lot lately, i dont think i would ever do it because i have lots of siblings and I would never do anything to hurt them, but constantly thinking about wanting to be dead is so draining, but i truly do not know how to help myself. I feel like such a loser, go to work, come home, rot in bed playing videos games, repeat, I feel like im not doing enough. I try and eat enough food, i tried to exercise, i tried meditation and positive affirmations and I just end up slipping back into old habits. Im a broke uni student, i live at home but i pay for my own necessities, i cannot afford to regularly see a therapist.

tired of fighting

replies: 5

Im in my mid 30s. Been struggling with panic attacks and suicidality since primary school. Im desperatley lonely but phobic of dating. I have SI since I was 8. I have periods of stability then a crash - I re-stabalise at a lower level of functionality. It has gotten to the point where I am agraphobic. I also have suspected cptsd and autism spectrum disorder. I have emetephobia. I have done cbt, a full dbt out patient course, tried countless meds but I just keep getting worse. I'm so tired of trying. Of forcing myself to get up, to eat, to go outside, to shower. I can barely work. I feel like a burden and although I have tried I can't go through with suicide. I feel trapped in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I know I am privilaged. I live with a degree of financial security. I have a roof over my head, Caring friends and pets. But I do not know what to do. I have had multiple hospitalisations. I just want the fear to go away. It is always there. The adults I felt close too have all died. I often want to join them but I can't do it. I used to be able to do so much more. Everything is getting harder. Im scared of what my next step down will look like. Take care anyone reading this. Know you are loved - even by a random on the interwebs - and kindness is our only hope.

Urge and bad thoughts

replies: 2

TW SH URGE AND IDEATION I honestly (trying to) not give into these urges and bad thoughts but I don’t know how long I could keep resisting... I have stuck my head into working a lot just to avoid this nagging feeling but each time I finish work there it comes like a bullet in my head... the voices are urging me to do it and they just wouldn’t let it go... how do I get them to stop and just get through okay? I’m running out of luck and energy to resist... if there’s anything that anyone can suggest for me to do, I’m all ears... I’m at my last straw.... kind of desperate now...

I just found out my brother knew our other brother molested and did nothing

replies: 23

Hi, im trying to breathe calmly right now. I’m already going through a very difficult time with severe chronic pain for the last 4 years, and recently being forced o rely on certain family members I tried to get away from. I found out half an hour ago from my older cousin that my eldest brother told him (when they were about 17) that my other brother (then 15) had molested one of us girls. Tonight my cousin asked if it was me. I was shocked because I didn’t know this happened at all. I struggled greatly living at home with my brother (accused of molesting my sister) as he has Scizophrenia and the sick, psychotic nature of his illness was always my problem. My other sister moved out and got pregnant young. My oldest brother left at 17, and I was trying to study/work and hopefully do law but the environment was so unhealthy I didn’t do well. My parents always worked. They were never home…always using money to compensate for them not being there. I put a lock on my own door to protect myself. but my anger now comes from finding out that my brother at 17 and onwards… never tried to protect me or my sister. He also found out dad was having an affair and didn’t tell Mum because Dad said it would ruin the business/money that my Brother no doubt benefited from. He is still the golden child. Im suicidal to the point I have a plan. I feel sick with the blood that runs through my veins. I have been suicidal for over a year due to physical pain. Now, the year long triggers regarding my mother, father, brothers….makes me feel constantly worthless. No amount of mirror work, meditation, journaling helps now, because I’m stuck being supported by the only people that make me feel that way. I can’t manage on my own. Even with community support, it’s not enough. My life is physical hell and I’m physically stuck in it. It’s a special kind of torture.

I called the Suicide call back service today.

replies: 4

I am grateful for the suicide call back service. I see their number all the time but today I had the courage to call them. I have been spiralling down since last December and trying to cope alone. I hate to rely on my children. But my son didn’t answer or reply this morning, so I called someone else. A complete stranger. Someone who makes themselves available on a Sunday morning to help total strangers like me to basically stay alive for another day. My darling son did eventually reply to me and I told him that I would be ok now. I hate to burden him with this. I love and appreciate him so much. I want to stay for him and I want to see him thrive. He deserves better. I am trying to be better for him and he is keeping me going for now. I know that if I go now, this would cause him so much distress and stress. I love him so dearly. He’s the kindest sweetest person that I’ve ever known. Just pure good. People like him deserve so much more and so much better. He’s an amazing young man. I so wished that I had half the goodness and courage and compassion that he possesses. I have such a throbbing headache from crying since 8am this morning and I can’t seem to stop it. My eyes are so sore from the tears. I am going to be a wreck tomorrow for work. But I am going to struggle through this post and take it one day, one hour as it comes. That’s all I can manage at this moment. Take care beautiful people. And call someone if you feel the need

Hello darkness

replies: 13

I haven’t been on here for quite some time, not even to give others support and I apologise for that. Life has just gotten in the way. I have worked so hard on my mental health and recovery and have made a lot of progress and making connections. But the last month or so has been so full on and overwhelming with so many activities vying for my time and attention that I have gotten overwhelmed. And very tired. And once again the thoughts and planning of ending my life started to make a reappearance. I feel like I am not really doing that well at all. I feel like no one really likes me which I know is sooky but that’s what my brain keeps telling me. I feel like I am failing being back at this place again and feeling this way. Life is beautiful and terrible at the same

Surviving, but only just

replies: 3

Anyone feel like they can’t go on but don’t want to leave either? Life is tough, seems to be getting tougher and tougher. Struggling with repeated thoughts, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Hope everyone is having a beautiful clear day.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Don’t want to wake up replies: 1

My son attempted suicide replies: 5

I won’t hurt myself but I want to replies: 1

I don’t know what to do replies: 2

tired of fighting replies: 5

Urge and bad thoughts replies: 2

I just found out my brother knew our other brother molested and did nothing replies: 23

I called the Suicide call back service today. replies: 4

Hello darkness replies: 13

Surviving, but only just replies: 3