The warmest of welcomes to you at this incredibly challenging time in your life. My heart truly goes out to you, so much.
I believe the great loss of someone challenges us in so many different ways, ways we're not entirely conscious of at times. Some of the challenges
- If that person was in some way our guide in helping us better connect with who we really are and the way forward, we've lost a guide and we've perhaps lost a reassuring sense of identity or self. Connecting with other guides and reconnecting with that positive sense of identity becomes the goal
- If that person brought us a sense of joy or a sense of open mindedness, we can lose that sense of joy as our mind begins to close around the kind of stuff that can bring us down at times. The goal becomes about rediscovering joy in ways we've perhaps never explored before and reopening our mind in the process
- If that person filled a void in our life in some way, we'll be able to sense the empty space. The question can become 'How do I need to fill what now feels like an empty space?'
Just a few of the many challenges we can be facing when it comes to the loss of someone we love so much. And when it comes to a sense of love, sometimes it can also be about experiencing a whole new set of emotions that wake us up to just how much we actually love that person. So, a time of greater consciousness when it comes to how deeply love can be felt in so many ways.
With my mum having passed almost 5 months ago, the last 5 months have been a time of experiencing so many different challenges. She was one of my greatest guides, my closest friend (as we grew incredibly close over the past 10 years especially), the person who brought me the greatest joy with her sense of humour and she was so much more as she helped me develop into the person I am today. She was a lot all rolled into one.
I think what's been the greatest help to me in the last 5 months, besides a handful of people who've supported me, would have to be my imagination. It sounds a little simplistic but often simple things can help open our mind to what comes to serve us. While I used to walk through a doorway to visit my mum in her home when she was alive, I now imagine myself walking through a doorway to meet with her. The beauty of imagination is we can meet anyone anywhere, while imagining any kind of doorway (elaborate or simple). How we greet the person we meet with, what environment we meet them in, what they say to us or show us etc etc is all stuff that is free to come to mind. I suppose some may call it a therapeutic form of meditation that definitely comes with emotion at times. So, if your grandma was someone who was of guidance to you, you could consider going into that place in your mind to meet with her. Asking her a question you need guidance with could help you with a sense of guidance. If what comes to mind is along the lines of 'Speak to _____ about how much you're struggling' or 'Find someone to help you make sense of your emotions' or 'You need to stop spending so much time on your own' or something else, the challenge then becomes about following through with that, speaking to that person or those people or connecting more with others who are able to gain a sense of what you need at this time in your life.
I should add that it's important to not stay in your imagination, to the point where you're constantly in there as opposed to living life and making progress outside of the imagination. Finding things to help ground us outside of the imagination is important. I've found this sense of grounding can also help with stopping the 'remembering' factor, where we're constantly living in the past while only remembering when that person was here. Graduating or raising ourself through times of incredible grief is a process we can come to gradually manage in ways that can work for us. Everyone finds their own unique way. Have faith in yourself as you so painfully graduate through this time. When people say 'Time heals all wounds', I don't believe it's time that heals. I believe becoming more conscious, finding new ways, developing strategies and skills for moving forward and developing faith in our ability to manage etc is truly what helps with healing. ❤️
