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Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Gambler I feel like a failure with no purpose
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m 43f with a terrible gambling problem. I've had this addiction with the pokies for many years and have just hit rock bottom. I've gone so low as to steal money from family to try him back my losses. I have a good paying job and every pay goes ... View more

Hi, I’m 43f with a terrible gambling problem. I've had this addiction with the pokies for many years and have just hit rock bottom. I've gone so low as to steal money from family to try him back my losses. I have a good paying job and every pay goes straight to them. I've now come to the realisation of how serious it has gotten and I feel like there is now way out of this hole I'm buried in. I'm now 43, $30k in dept, no home (currently staying at my sisters partners house) never had children, have a gaslighting partner of 2.5 years who is now not speaking to me because I finally stood up to him 2 nights ago. On top of all this I now have nerve pain affecting my work and that is worrying me thinking how will I get out of this dept if I can no longer work. I am a NZ citizen and have been living in darwin for 8 years and have accomplished nothing. I feel like everything is falling down around me and all these bad things are happening all at the same time and I dont know how to get out of this mess. My thoughts have turned dark and ive never been the type to think like that

airathefailure Star student to miserable failure
  • replies: 2

Hi, call me Aira. I'm a Year 12 IB student and I'm failing everything. I was always pretty good at school. I did well with zero effort. I hear about other students who used to do well without trying too, but struggled later because they never learned... View more

Hi, call me Aira. I'm a Year 12 IB student and I'm failing everything. I was always pretty good at school. I did well with zero effort. I hear about other students who used to do well without trying too, but struggled later because they never learned study techniques. That's not me. In Year 10 I was moved to an advanced class, and realising things were only going to get harder from there, I spent the year figuring out study techniques that worked for me. It went well. I even ended up doing better than many of my classmates who had been in the advanced program far longer than me. When I got to Year 11, it didn't take me long to be the best student in many of my classes. I'm not saying all this to brag. I'm mentioning this because the difference between me back then and me now is almost comical. By the time Year 11 was over, I just gave up on everything. Reading my diary, it seems like my attitude at the time was "this is a long break, I'll just enjoy it for now and get to my homework later." Then something happened (it wasn't serious, but I don't want to say), and I got really upset and just did nothing. It was pretty out-of-character for me since, in terms of my mood, Year 10 was the worst year for me and I still did pretty well. So I can't recall why I just gave up. When Year 12 started, I struggled in class since I did none of the homework. That stressed me out a lot and my mental health has been the worst this year than it has ever been. I started crying in my classes a lot and sort of just stopped doing any work. I stopped doing anything really, other than going to school and coming back home. I was talking to my teachers, the coordinator, and to a counsellor at school, but I didn't feel like any of it was helping. So after months of this, I sent the coordinator a desperate email about how I wasn't going to graduate at this rate, and I managed to get a different timetable. Instead of finishing school this year, I'm meant to complete 2 subjects this year, and the other 4 next year. It was relieving for a few weeks, but I was feeling so awful I couldn't get anything done anyways. If I can't even handle 2 subjects, how am I meant to handle 4 next year? I think back to who I was a year or two ago and she feels like a different person entirely. Mentally, I'm actually doing pretty well right now. I think enough happened to me to where bad things don't surprise me anymore. But it doesn't make much of a difference if that isn't showing in my grades.

Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Lily2_s My partner has CPTSD
  • replies: 6

I need some advice. I am new to this forum. I am confused what I am supposed to do. My partner has PTSD and last Christmas he wanted to have a break as he was struggling mentally. I wasn’t aware he was struggling and I took it personally. Since then ... View more

I need some advice. I am new to this forum. I am confused what I am supposed to do. My partner has PTSD and last Christmas he wanted to have a break as he was struggling mentally. I wasn’t aware he was struggling and I took it personally. Since then he has been out 3x or 4 x a week overnight or up until midnight. He won’t communicate with me where his location in the beginning. I put up boundaries and he wouldn’t be able to follow through. I filled the gap in my mind I thought he has an affair. He started to lie and so many excuses and at the end I found out he would fell asleep at his mates place due to intoxication. He has been hiding his issues and not completely honest with me. He broke my trust. I wanted to have a family and I am 44 now but if his behaviour is like this I don’t think I can stay. It is against my values to drink excessively. He tried to reduce in the past but last Christmas since his treatment for Ptsd was paused because they have to focus his back issue and also his mental health has deteriorated . I find it hard to understand because my needs aren’t meet. I feel so lonely in a relationship and I would like to start a family before it is too late. I would like to continue supporting him but at the same time I am in a point that my mental health has been affected and I’m not happy in a relationship as he doesn’t communicate for me to understand. I think in the beginning he thought I was being judgemental because he would spend 6-8 hours at the pub. It is very challenging to deal with. Despite, his flaws he is a wonderful person and I do love him but I feel like it is not good for me in a long term . I had seen some red flags in the beginning but I challenged my gut feeling because he had come a long way. Sometimes I think I should move on because in a short period living on the same roof for less than 6 months all stress. Thank you and I need your valuable thoughts.

Anton_1966 Hi, I'm Anton. Not enough space here to describe my stuff!
  • replies: 2

Hi all, well I recognised in around 2000 that I had mental health issues which I was dealing with alcohol for self medication. At that time it was simply previously undiagnosed ADHD, given I was born in 1966 it hadn't been picked up in school for wha... View more

Hi all, well I recognised in around 2000 that I had mental health issues which I was dealing with alcohol for self medication. At that time it was simply previously undiagnosed ADHD, given I was born in 1966 it hadn't been picked up in school for what it was. Fast forward to now, I recognise AuDHD, anxiety and depression. Yes I do have GP and Psychiatrist support, and use a university psychology clinic. I still find I need to do my own research to understand my condition as this specific area of mental health is not well understood generally. There is history of mental health issues in my family, and as a layman I suspect it shows up more on the female side for some reason. My sister suicided, my mother is all over the place and my niece is very troubled. I'm currently taking an "attack from all sides" approach - psychiatrist prescribed medication, psychology clinic, GP and Salvos AoD course. It's working, but slowly and is not a magic bullet. My partner is frustrated with me and as a result she is unhelpful, adding to the problem rather than helping. Antidepressants stop me from jumping off a cliff.

J_Man89 New to the forums. Don't know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I'm 25 years old and I'm hoping to receive some support with my mental health. This year has been quite difficult for me. I'm overwhelmed with thoughts so don't really know what to write. I'll say that I have problems socially and with s... View more

Hi everyone. I'm 25 years old and I'm hoping to receive some support with my mental health. This year has been quite difficult for me. I'm overwhelmed with thoughts so don't really know what to write. I'll say that I have problems socially and with some basic tasks. I found out I have autism in March which has helped me understand myself better but has also caused some great difficulty. I have been out of work for months and struggle to maintain friendships. I'm using the forums to receive some real support that doesn't feel empty, but I don't want to bother the people around me anymore.

Guest_31925144 Thought giving up smoking would be a good thing
  • replies: 3

Struggling with my mental wellbeing after giving up smoking 90 days ago. GP has prescribed a medication - first time ever on pills like this and I'm in my 60s. Advised I should also see a psychologist. The smoking was obviously masking a range of iss... View more

Struggling with my mental wellbeing after giving up smoking 90 days ago. GP has prescribed a medication - first time ever on pills like this and I'm in my 60s. Advised I should also see a psychologist. The smoking was obviously masking a range of issues. Still not smoking - but not in a great space. GP also suggested that nicotine patches might help balance out my nicotine starved dopamine receptors but not sure I want to do this having been nicotine free for 3 months. One day at time eh?

Jazmin Early onset dementia
  • replies: 1

Hi I was diagnosed with early onset dementia about 2 years ago and I would like to be able to chat with others who have this condition. I'm hoping this will help me with my depression and share experiences and not feel so alone.

Hi I was diagnosed with early onset dementia about 2 years ago and I would like to be able to chat with others who have this condition. I'm hoping this will help me with my depression and share experiences and not feel so alone.

Guest_67752487 I don’t know where to start. Just a really crap year
  • replies: 1

I have had a really crap few years, it started with me having breast cancer, so that sucked. No hair, mangled boob and forced menopause and now high blood pressure does not make a happy camper. Oh that was also the same year my cousins wife died from... View more

I have had a really crap few years, it started with me having breast cancer, so that sucked. No hair, mangled boob and forced menopause and now high blood pressure does not make a happy camper. Oh that was also the same year my cousins wife died from breast cancer and my other cousin had a second bought of breast cancer! I made it through, better than many. Then my step kids grandpa (mother’s side) was diagnosed with cancer, he passed away a few weeks ago. Literally the day of the funeral my dad was in surgery for bladder cancer, he is fine, although they left the surgery for 6 months and it was starting to invade the kidney. So he starts chemo next week. Oh let’s throw in another cousin with breast cancer (still not enough for genetic testing, but I have no kids anyway). My mum also had arterial fibrillation as well in there and my dad almost gave me a heart attack when he called while that happened. i reckon I have mild adhd or something honestly, I get fully invested into projects working days or even weeks with little sleep or food, but if I am not interested I can not even start. I am easily distracted, always moving, even in states of totally lack of motivation I can not sit still for more than 30 minutes. I was the one everyone tells to stop shaking their legs, that actually stopped for 20 years because a Chinese woman told me it was bad luck and shakes out all your money! It’s started again though recently. I am also very sensitive to harsh criticism and judgements especially on a project I am working on. Back to partner drama. We work together and the first job I had things thrown at me, he was yelling at me and his friend/employee of 30 years, then we get home and he’s got a beer for me and it’s like he had the best day! I just wanted to curl up and cry. today he tried to help me with my garden (I love gardening) and everything I did was wrong, now he doesn’t even want me to have a garden. We now have 3 unfinished projects around the yard (2 his, 1 mine) and they are all my fault. He did admit when asked he doesn’t think I will keep it up, but I know I can keep this up if I can start it. I fully understand he may not believe it, and I don’t even mind but he just says “do whatever you want” and it is fully making my panic and cry. He doesn’t want “to waste a bunch of money” so now I don’t know if I can spend any money to finish it? I have no issues digging tree holes or laying weed matting but not knowing if he will want it gone in a year to build a shed….It is fully sending me spiralling out of control.how can someone who cowers in my lap crying for a week be so absolutely oblivious to anyone else’s feelings? I know I am not the easiest, I struggle to explain because I am completely overwhelmed by emotions, but I don’t know how to calm myself to explain. I do deep breathing and try but he won’t stop talking so I can’t calm myself. Then when I try to come back it just happens all over again. how can I even cope with this? That’s a lot of crap for a few short years to deal with for anyone, and now I am getting to a panic attack point when we fight, I have even run out of the house. I hyperventilate and I literally can not even make a sentence, how do I calm myself to speak?

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