Long-term support over the journey

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BeyondBlue Welcome, read this if it's your first time here !
  • replies: 0

Hey there! This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and supporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journ... View more

Hey there! This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and supporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey with ups and downs. Take a look through these longer conversations and you can see how supportive, validating and kind this community can be. It can be tricky to join an ongoing conversation but please feel free to contribute. You are the expert in what has worked for you and what you are living with. We want to hear about it, and these wonderful discussions are only ever richer for what you can add. There are a few tips for this section of the Forums that might be helpful Have a good read. These are long and in-depth conversations so before you step in, have a read of a few posts to get a sense of the space. It is not a great spot for New Topics. Replies are very welcome, but if you want to start something fresh try another section of the Forums. Thanks for your understanding, we want to hear what you think of these conversations and look forward to your contributions. Thanks Beyond Blue

All discussions

Ggrand Alone..Depressed..Sad..
  • replies: 5821

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my o... View more

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

Kazzl This bipolar life
  • replies: 11244

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wro... View more

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live. Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play. Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage. Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide. Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die. I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people! Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium. So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves. I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here. BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay! Love Kaz

Guest_10343 Managing chronic anxiety in the final stretch of pregnancy.
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’ve been a quiet reader here on the forums for a while, but as I’m getting close to my due date, I’ve found myself back in the weeds with my anxiety and really wanted to reach out to this supportive community. I've lived with generalize... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve been a quiet reader here on the forums for a while, but as I’m getting close to my due date, I’ve found myself back in the weeds with my anxiety and really wanted to reach out to this supportive community. I've lived with generalized anxiety for most of my adult life, but being in the final stretch of pregnancy has brought up a whole new level of panic and physical exhaustion. The pressure to have everything 'perfect' for when the baby arrives, combined with the lack of sleep, has really been triggering some of my old panic loops. I find myself lying awake worrying about labor, worrying about being a good mum, and just feeling completely overwhelmed by basic daily tasks. I'm trying hard to practice self-care and actively find ways to reduce my daily triggers. One small win I had last week was learning to stop forcing myself through situations that I know will cause a panic spike. I needed to get a medical certificate for some rest days off work, and normally, the thought of driving to a busy medical centre, sitting in a crowded, noisy waiting room, and dealing with the sensory overload would have pushed my anxiety over the edge. Instead of forcing myself to go, I decided to try telehealth to keep things low-stress. I used an online service like Hola Health to get the certificate sorted from my couch. Honestly, just being able to bypass that waiting room trigger and stay in my safe space made such a massive difference to my mental health that day. It taught me that it’s okay to take the 'easier' path sometimes if it protects your peace. I’d love to hear from other mums or parents who have navigated chronic anxiety or depression during late pregnancy. How did you manage to quiet the mind during the final wait?Sending love to everyone else who is currently struggling.

CMF Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?
  • replies: 5546

Wow, this was meant to be 'my' year. A new year, a fresh start, a year to focus on what i want to do and where i am headed but i have hit a brick wall and can't break through. Single mum 3 kids. My little one has more kinder sessions so i have 3 days... View more

Wow, this was meant to be 'my' year. A new year, a fresh start, a year to focus on what i want to do and where i am headed but i have hit a brick wall and can't break through. Single mum 3 kids. My little one has more kinder sessions so i have 3 days with about 4 hours free. With kids at school/kinder, this was my plan and how i wanted to spend my time i was excited/positive up until last weeks: Do a few odd jobs around the house, fix a few things, big clean up; Join a gym, do yoga for relaxation, walk every day - take care of me Do an online course or some short courses so i can think of going back to work next year when she starts school. I could do something i really enjoy, a new career. Maybe do some casual work or start a little business from a hobby How i feel now: Don't know where to start,anxious, guilty for not doing anything with my free time yet How will i juggle 2 teenagers and a preppie and work all on my own next year? If i work next year who will look after the little one on school holidays? I don't want to use school holiday programs when she is in grade prep. The thought makes me sick. Maybe i should sell the house, just get rid of the mortgage and rent and be free ( i have this thought every month around pmt time) but where would i go and would i be renting forever? I feel overwhelmed with mortgage and bills, just like everyone i guess. Am i running away from responsibility, am i lazy? I feel i have to be doing something all the time, feel guilty if i take time out (i was fine first week of kinder, this started second week I feel guilty not working, Scared I'll get in trouble for not doing anything yet and for having free time. The course i wanted is too expensive but i can look at other options. I feel like a lazy mum, bad example to set for my children. I'm anxious and depressed. i look at others with their families and how they are happy and going out and going away because they can afford to. Am i crazy for being like this? Am i a lazy person? I had it all planned out, what happened, why have i now fallen like this? I saw a positive future, upgrade my skills, get out there and be something now i cant see it anymore. I've lost my direction. People have said to give myself time to adjust to having some free time and to take a break and then rethink what i want to do but i'm panicking, like i'm wasting my time and i cant get going. I don't deserve anything i have. Thanks for reading cmf x

Clues_Of_Blue Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)
  • replies: 2332

Some of you are aware of my existence by now, but for those who aren't, I'm fairly new to this forum. I've been stumbling my way along with depression for somewhere around seven years. It was triggered by a life event and exacerbated by circumstances... View more

Some of you are aware of my existence by now, but for those who aren't, I'm fairly new to this forum. I've been stumbling my way along with depression for somewhere around seven years. It was triggered by a life event and exacerbated by circumstances since then, which I've done my best to eliminate where possible. About a year ago I changed track with that and made the huge decision to end the relationship I was in. Rough though that was, I finally started to see a bit of progress. I've still had a fight on my hands, to stay afloat and get control of my time and money and my peace of mind, all of which were tied up for a long time in untangling my finances from those of my ex (not his fault, the bank made it really damn hard, and my job and my own state of mind weren't helping). Now I've started enjoying things again, and am not always instantly down when I'm on my own. I was once a (deliberately) solitary creature who enjoyed my own company and learning everything I could, so it's good to be more like that again. The depression's always there, lurking in the background, but I sometimes go a few weeks at a time without any prolonged episodes. Long enough to start feeling like I'm healing or that my emotions have some concept of cause and effect again. Then down I slam again, sometimes for a day or two, other times for weeks, and it feels like I've made no progress at all. In these periods my mind and my emotions are constantly at war, particularly when I'm alone and/or it's quiet. My mind is calm for the most part, and well aware I'm strong and capable and have strategies and I actively work on those in spite of the depression. My emotions, on the other hand, are running about with flags chock full of negative messages and even though I know it's not (or even close) I feel like everything is collapsing, that I can't deal with it and I just want everything to stop. That's where I'm at, today. I do have an amazing partner now, who is extremely supportive, and has helped me immensely. My current problem is that I need my friends and family, too. I so rarely have time that isn't ruined by unsociable work hours and also the energy and will to socialise, but my friends are seldom available when I do. In those times I know it may be weeks or months before I can see them again, and I miss them, and that's mostly when I crash again these days. Dunno how to fix that yet, but I need to vent, and here I am. Getting better but having a really crap day.

Annas1 I forgot that Recovery is not linear
  • replies: 8

Good Morning, As the tag-line says, I forgot that my Recovery journey is not linear and so I should not despair that I'm back in the weeds again for a while. From a distance, it is no surprise that I have been triggered into anxiety and distress at t... View more

Good Morning, As the tag-line says, I forgot that my Recovery journey is not linear and so I should not despair that I'm back in the weeds again for a while. From a distance, it is no surprise that I have been triggered into anxiety and distress at the moment - the task was clearly beyond my current capacity. Yet, I felt compelled to ignore my doubts and push on regardless. Inevitably, my deeper self has rebelled and I am now tired, wired and full of self-doubt. This has happened many times before - you think I would have learned something by now! - so the low and weary feelings are both unwanted and familiar. I thus start to doubt if I am truly on a Recovery path or if I'm only going round in knotted circles that will never lead anywhere different. That's the fearful, critical part of me getting the upper hand right now. It's such a habit to see things bleakly when I'm spent. And yet, I can also see that this inner 'rebellion' does have something useful to say - I need to respect myself, know my limits and accept that I can't always please others. And I get it, and agree intellectually, but it's really very hard to follow through with actions and words. So today will be about self-care, being gentle with myself and doing what I have to do. The hardest thing today will be acknowledging my limitations while connecting with my family. I want to let go of feeling unworthy or invalid because my capacity is limited. I want to feel that I still belong and am worthy of relationship. It is the deepest challenge of my Recovery.

james-i Planning on driving a car with ASD part 2
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Hello,James here (21 years of age)My support person and I are still trying to find an OT and trained professonal to start driving only on private roads at a driving school or some other places Because I still don't have my learner's permit yet Is the... View more

Hello,James here (21 years of age)My support person and I are still trying to find an OT and trained professonal to start driving only on private roads at a driving school or some other places Because I still don't have my learner's permit yet Is there any support for this? Kind regards,James

Miilicent Pmdd Journey
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I guess you could call Pmdd a journey. I'm 54 and have been recently diagnosed with Pmdd and have started Hrt. I have lived with depression/anxiety most of my life and had recently started psychological help with working through that. I've never real... View more

I guess you could call Pmdd a journey. I'm 54 and have been recently diagnosed with Pmdd and have started Hrt. I have lived with depression/anxiety most of my life and had recently started psychological help with working through that. I've never really experienced PMS symptoms, then this hit, oh boy I didn't know what was going on. I live with my husband and 26 year old son who has his own mental health issues. I have a 20 year old daughter who lives away from home but is going overseas for 3 months to work. I'm going to miss her so much as I see her as my shining light. I'm feeling it hard at the moment as I don't have friends to talk to and you have to support yourself between psychology visits, which is hard as sometimes you just don't want to think. Are there any good online support services for pmdd. Or is anyone else going through a similar situation. Thanks for reading.

Matchy69 how do i stop crying
  • replies: 833

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

FaithHopeLove study
  • replies: 1

iv just applied 4 study with cert iv peer wrk if i get in feel theres mre of a sense of direction 4 me as i finished 5yrs study 2 yrs ago yet still havnt landed paid employment as a peer iv been volunteering with care line 4+ yrs if i get in2 the cer... View more

iv just applied 4 study with cert iv peer wrk if i get in feel theres mre of a sense of direction 4 me as i finished 5yrs study 2 yrs ago yet still havnt landed paid employment as a peer iv been volunteering with care line 4+ yrs if i get in2 the cert mite b able 2 get credits frm previous study i Pray it wrks out as iv been feeling directionless at times & hav been doin xtra voluntary wrk