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BeyondBlue Welcome, read this if it's your first time here !
  • replies: 0

Hey there! This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and supporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journ... View more

Hey there! This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and supporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey with ups and downs. Take a look through these longer conversations and you can see how supportive, validating and kind this community can be. It can be tricky to join an ongoing conversation but please feel free to contribute. You are the expert in what has worked for you and what you are living with. We want to hear about it, and these wonderful discussions are only ever richer for what you can add. There are a few tips for this section of the Forums that might be helpful Have a good read. These are long and in-depth conversations so before you step in, have a read of a few posts to get a sense of the space. It is not a great spot for New Topics. Replies are very welcome, but if you want to start something fresh try another section of the Forums. Thanks for your understanding, we want to hear what you think of these conversations and look forward to your contributions. Thanks Beyond Blue

All discussions

Ggrand Alone..Depressed..Sad..
  • replies: 5829

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my o... View more

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

Matchy69 how do i stop crying
  • replies: 849

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

Potato_head4eva Idealised death since as young as I remember, at 28 things finally changed for me
  • replies: 1

Since as young as I can remember? I’ve always struggled with severe anxiety and regulating my mood. I would experience some instances of euphoria and many experiences of depression and idealisation of suicide effectively before I even was familiar wi... View more

Since as young as I can remember? I’ve always struggled with severe anxiety and regulating my mood. I would experience some instances of euphoria and many experiences of depression and idealisation of suicide effectively before I even was familiar with the word ‘suicide’. A 28 years old finally things changed for me. I finally got the help I needed and I’m continuing to receive the help because it’s a long and hard path to health and wellness after being so mentally unwell for so long.

Kazzl This bipolar life
  • replies: 11289

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wro... View more

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live. Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play. Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage. Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide. Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die. I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people! Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium. So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves. I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here. BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay! Love Kaz

focus008 Nobody’s Person
  • replies: 9

Hi all, I have just recently joined.Im 38, female, single and living alone.I’ve come to realise lately that although my family love me because they are my family and will always have that tie to me, I am not important to anyone by choice.I am no one’... View more

Hi all, I have just recently joined.Im 38, female, single and living alone.I’ve come to realise lately that although my family love me because they are my family and will always have that tie to me, I am not important to anyone by choice.I am no one’s best friend, I am no one’s partner, no one has ever loved me enough to stay or go want to marry me or have children with me. It must be the most wonderful feeing in the world to mean so much to another person, but I am always left feeling not good enough and alone. I come home to an empty house after work and cry because life isn’t meant to be lived alone and I feel so alone… I just don’t know what do do about it.

Trissy Disclosing mental health diagnosis in a community forum
  • replies: 1

Hi all,I am new to this forum and am looking forward to your advice and insight.I was disguised with bipolar 2 when I was 26 and I am now 42. It has been a complex journey but I am at a point where I am ready to move into a space of advocacy and peer... View more

Hi all,I am new to this forum and am looking forward to your advice and insight.I was disguised with bipolar 2 when I was 26 and I am now 42. It has been a complex journey but I am at a point where I am ready to move into a space of advocacy and peer support. I work in allied heath (physiotherapist), at a very holistic clinic that encompasses movement, mental and physical health. We have a beautiful community of individuals who attend in one form or another. I have an idea to develop a panel on mental health and associated lived experiences (my workplace runs panels on all sorts of topics as it is very advocacy). I would ideally sit on the panel to share my story and step into advocacy through lived experience. As much as I want this, I have concerns around how this would be received and the ongoing fear around irreversible disclosure to the community I am meant to take care of as a physiotherapist. Does anyone have lived experience moving into a public space with their mental health diagnosis and the outcome? Thanks in advance!

Billi Son in prison
  • replies: 5

My ex partner, my children's father went overseas to his mother's funeral back in 2018. He did not return, he met a woman with 7 children and stayed married her and raised her kids. I was left alone to raise my children. He ended up having a mini str... View more

My ex partner, my children's father went overseas to his mother's funeral back in 2018. He did not return, he met a woman with 7 children and stayed married her and raised her kids. I was left alone to raise my children. He ended up having a mini stroke in 2025, his wife left him all alone wanted nothing to do with him, he came back in early 2026, my second son who is 27 and is the only one who has forgiven his father, picked him up from the airport and took him to his place which he shares with his girlfriend.Out of the blue they turned up at my door, I told the father he is not welcome in my home, my son and his girlfriend are, they walked down the stairs and my son yelled out every abusive word he could think of even suggesting that I should look after his dad. I let them leave, the father left back to his country, he only came to try and rekindle his family he had neglected. My son called and asked me foroney to send to the dad, I told my son that the dad is not my responsibility and he chose his path in life and now he needs to live with it. Anyways my son committed a crime which sent him to jail, bail refused waiting for sentencing. I think this crime had something to do with helping his dad. While in remand he calls me and says he is sorry for what he has done an he talks very nicely to me. He calls a second time and tells me to send money to the dad and that this is all my fault as I didn't let the dad stay at my house. I told my son that I will happily send him money toake phonecalls whilst in prison, he said no why am I happy to put my hand in my pocket for phonecalls but not for the dad. Again I told him the dad has his own life. My son again abused me and blamed me. I hung up the phone and have since blocked the prison number. I want peace. I feel bad about blocking the number but am too scared to talk to him again. Any advise would be appreciated..

Guest_79689659 My sister has gone to jail
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My sister has gone to jail and I am worried sick about her as this is her first time I have done nothing but cry. We lost our mum last year and now my sister is locked up I don't know how she is going to cope not having us around I'm so scared for he... View more

My sister has gone to jail and I am worried sick about her as this is her first time I have done nothing but cry. We lost our mum last year and now my sister is locked up I don't know how she is going to cope not having us around I'm so scared for her

Clues_Of_Blue Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)
  • replies: 2334

Some of you are aware of my existence by now, but for those who aren't, I'm fairly new to this forum. I've been stumbling my way along with depression for somewhere around seven years. It was triggered by a life event and exacerbated by circumstances... View more

Some of you are aware of my existence by now, but for those who aren't, I'm fairly new to this forum. I've been stumbling my way along with depression for somewhere around seven years. It was triggered by a life event and exacerbated by circumstances since then, which I've done my best to eliminate where possible. About a year ago I changed track with that and made the huge decision to end the relationship I was in. Rough though that was, I finally started to see a bit of progress. I've still had a fight on my hands, to stay afloat and get control of my time and money and my peace of mind, all of which were tied up for a long time in untangling my finances from those of my ex (not his fault, the bank made it really damn hard, and my job and my own state of mind weren't helping). Now I've started enjoying things again, and am not always instantly down when I'm on my own. I was once a (deliberately) solitary creature who enjoyed my own company and learning everything I could, so it's good to be more like that again. The depression's always there, lurking in the background, but I sometimes go a few weeks at a time without any prolonged episodes. Long enough to start feeling like I'm healing or that my emotions have some concept of cause and effect again. Then down I slam again, sometimes for a day or two, other times for weeks, and it feels like I've made no progress at all. In these periods my mind and my emotions are constantly at war, particularly when I'm alone and/or it's quiet. My mind is calm for the most part, and well aware I'm strong and capable and have strategies and I actively work on those in spite of the depression. My emotions, on the other hand, are running about with flags chock full of negative messages and even though I know it's not (or even close) I feel like everything is collapsing, that I can't deal with it and I just want everything to stop. That's where I'm at, today. I do have an amazing partner now, who is extremely supportive, and has helped me immensely. My current problem is that I need my friends and family, too. I so rarely have time that isn't ruined by unsociable work hours and also the energy and will to socialise, but my friends are seldom available when I do. In those times I know it may be weeks or months before I can see them again, and I miss them, and that's mostly when I crash again these days. Dunno how to fix that yet, but I need to vent, and here I am. Getting better but having a really crap day.