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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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CMF Feeling lost and overwhelmed...what happened?
  • replies: 5353

Wow, this was meant to be 'my' year. A new year, a fresh start, a year to focus on what i want to do and where i am headed but i have hit a brick wall and can't break through. Single mum 3 kids. My little one has more kinder sessions so i have 3 days... View more

Wow, this was meant to be 'my' year. A new year, a fresh start, a year to focus on what i want to do and where i am headed but i have hit a brick wall and can't break through. Single mum 3 kids. My little one has more kinder sessions so i have 3 days with about 4 hours free. With kids at school/kinder, this was my plan and how i wanted to spend my time i was excited/positive up until last weeks: Do a few odd jobs around the house, fix a few things, big clean up; Join a gym, do yoga for relaxation, walk every day - take care of me Do an online course or some short courses so i can think of going back to work next year when she starts school. I could do something i really enjoy, a new career. Maybe do some casual work or start a little business from a hobby How i feel now: Don't know where to start,anxious, guilty for not doing anything with my free time yet How will i juggle 2 teenagers and a preppie and work all on my own next year? If i work next year who will look after the little one on school holidays? I don't want to use school holiday programs when she is in grade prep. The thought makes me sick. Maybe i should sell the house, just get rid of the mortgage and rent and be free ( i have this thought every month around pmt time) but where would i go and would i be renting forever? I feel overwhelmed with mortgage and bills, just like everyone i guess. Am i running away from responsibility, am i lazy? I feel i have to be doing something all the time, feel guilty if i take time out (i was fine first week of kinder, this started second week I feel guilty not working, Scared I'll get in trouble for not doing anything yet and for having free time. The course i wanted is too expensive but i can look at other options. I feel like a lazy mum, bad example to set for my children. I'm anxious and depressed. i look at others with their families and how they are happy and going out and going away because they can afford to. Am i crazy for being like this? Am i a lazy person? I had it all planned out, what happened, why have i now fallen like this? I saw a positive future, upgrade my skills, get out there and be something now i cant see it anymore. I've lost my direction. People have said to give myself time to adjust to having some free time and to take a break and then rethink what i want to do but i'm panicking, like i'm wasting my time and i cant get going. I don't deserve anything i have. Thanks for reading cmf x

Sparkling2003 Long -term difference?
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek ... View more

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek help was there a positive change in them and their relationships with people. Just looking for a little bit of hope that when my loved one does finally decide to seek help that eventually they will be happy and the environment will be calmer. I understand that there will always be moments that aren't positive but I'm currently feeling very hopeless and the idea that our relationship will mend is seeming very impossible. Just looking for guidance and peoples experience that will give me hope that there is chance our relationships will better or if I just need to accept that this may be the new norm.

Kazzl This bipolar life
  • replies: 10785

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wro... View more

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are. Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live. Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play. Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage. Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide. Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die. I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people! Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium. So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves. I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here. BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay! Love Kaz

Ggrand Alone..Depressed..Sad..
  • replies: 5638

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my o... View more

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

Jody Holistic Art Therapy for Emotional and Mental Health and Wellbeing
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, After reading some of the posts here, I felt that I wanted to join because from what I have understood about mental health is that its an life long awareness journey, and those of us more sensitive to the experiences we have on this jour... View more

Hi everyone, After reading some of the posts here, I felt that I wanted to join because from what I have understood about mental health is that its an life long awareness journey, and those of us more sensitive to the experiences we have on this journey, sense and feel more deeply in order to process the levels of it which we do. From what I have understood so far is that once you get to a certain point in your mental health and wellbeing of either extreme in positive or negative states, it forever becomes a balancing act as it forces you to take control of the responsibility of your being and you need to navigate enduring waters when learning to sink or swim. Those who know me, are already aware of my life experiences and how they affected my health and wellbeing. For a long time it did not make sense to me why I was having all these experiences thrust upon me, challenging my emotions and mental health, and as a flow on, my physical health. For a while I was a counsellor and for a lifetime been a full time carer of 5 people - all at once and for decades without support or respite - so when it came to a critical point where I was having PTSD paralysis, sleep disorders, cortisol overloads and various other issues, enough was enough and I had to break away from it all. I took my saving grace, which was a life time of self medicated Art Therapy, and turned it into a career choice when I encountered so many people drifting in and out of their mental health care support and who needed someone to show them a step forward instead of simply shutting down. Regional and rural areas are so deprived of resources and assistance that people would rather end their lives than suffer the drifting that occurs when you fall between the cracks of lack of services, and unable to finding a connector to alternative options such as Art Therapy. Children and Youth in particular being vulnerable, and this was hammered home to me as a mother of a teenage son who lost 3 mates to suicide in just over one year when he was aged 15, because they could not find the resources to help them manage and deal with their issues at home in their personal lives. One thing Art Therapy does, is utilise an inner self empowering ability to be creative and engage in that process intuitively and safely. I recommend it for anyone. You do not need to be an artist, creativity is inbuilt in all of us and merely needs acknowledging. It can be as simple as colouring in. Give it a try, let me know what it was like.

Moonstruck I can't find the right place for me to post
  • replies: 1705

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the... View more

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well. I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong. I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I? I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother. I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too. So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma? In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

Scared1956 Panic Attacks
  • replies: 1

I suffer with panic attacks, I hate mornings. I’m always thinking what if. How can I stop this

I suffer with panic attacks, I hate mornings. I’m always thinking what if. How can I stop this

Hanna3 Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?
  • replies: 3070

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old frien... View more

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that... How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

monkey_magic Should I just suck this up?
  • replies: 2271

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation. I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institutio... View more

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation. I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks. 3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!! 3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy. Should I just " suck this up". ?

Tiredmummah Everything just feels like too much work
  • replies: 5

Good evening, I have little drive to accomplish anything. I have 2 beautiful kids. But some days I end up just zoning out watching crap on my phone instead of spending time with them. I feel like I'm failing, hubby works afternoons so 5 days a week i... View more

Good evening, I have little drive to accomplish anything. I have 2 beautiful kids. But some days I end up just zoning out watching crap on my phone instead of spending time with them. I feel like I'm failing, hubby works afternoons so 5 days a week it is all on me. To keep the house tidy, feed kids, bath kids, homework, additional homework from speech therapy for 1 kid. Walk the dog's (definitely not happening as much as it should). I only work casual, so it's not like I am struggling with time, just the will to get things done. I'm sick of things not happening, but not enough to commit to doing things about it. No idea what to do to get me out of this massive slump