Long-term support over the journey

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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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Simona In so much pain because of mood swings (Schizoaffective).
  • replies: 1160

Hello. I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me. And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know what else to do. And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared Because i am in a very lowly way and i can o... View more

Hello. I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me. And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know what else to do. And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared Because i am in a very lowly way and i can only manage short burst of sleep like naps. My head hurts so bad and i can't stop thinking. Strange sentences form in my head and roll on like those movie credits for HOURS. And last night i was ok for abit but come 4am i was mess and the headache was making me feel like i had to vomit but had nothing there. I have no appetite and I'm feeling the paranoia - Yesterday i cried. ranted. couldn't breathe properly. That went for4 hrs and I'm still exhausted from it I told partner please help me. I just kept repeating it and he kept walking away and then got angry and said "I'm sorry i don't know what to do OK!". I said please please take me to hospital because i don't want the children to see me like this and i'm so scared but he said no because he said they wouldn't let me out and that he needs to work so we can eat. Plus not to involve his parents so i must straighten myself up. I told him these thoughts I'm having are BAD. So far today I'm ok i think. I wish i didn't live so rural. I'm trying to relax. i don't think it's fair. A massage is not helping. Plus i have to listen to this machine gun noise because partner plays this war game Ps: i know i say things like i want to die but that's not true ok. I just want whatever is wrong with me to stop beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

K_Ley rollercoaster slowing down
  • replies: 1

these past two months have been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. From accepting that something wasn't right to seeking support, having my darkest days of my life, to now finally feeling that maybe I am slowing this journey down a bit so I can ... View more

these past two months have been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. From accepting that something wasn't right to seeking support, having my darkest days of my life, to now finally feeling that maybe I am slowing this journey down a bit so I can at least breathe. Presented to the local hospital last night as I didn't really know what else to do. I have been admitted for 3 days of observation and planning to get things under control. Have a session with a psychologist later this morning and a psychiatrist this afternoon to really assess where I am at and to put the right supports in place longer term. Realising that I am at a very dark place in my life has been hard to accept and deal with. I know now that I have a very long road ahead of me (and if that means years rather than months that's ok). As scary as that is I feel that I am finally on the right path to survive this journey.

Hanna3 Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?
  • replies: 3069

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old frien... View more

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that... How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

shayne w Adult adhd
  • replies: 6

I was wondering how other adults who have been diagnosed in their early fifties like me, but probably have had adhd since childhood manage their condition ..? and what they have found to be the most challenging.?

I was wondering how other adults who have been diagnosed in their early fifties like me, but probably have had adhd since childhood manage their condition ..? and what they have found to be the most challenging.?

UnknownGuy It never gets better
  • replies: 1

All my life it has been a struggle, abused as a child, lived on the streets, never known love or been in a relationship but I kept fighting, I started work in hospitality but even that I had to work hard to get where I was and people constantly taken... View more

All my life it has been a struggle, abused as a child, lived on the streets, never known love or been in a relationship but I kept fighting, I started work in hospitality but even that I had to work hard to get where I was and people constantly taken advantage of my generosity but life was going fine then in 2019 I left my job after 11 years with the company I went traveling searching for something to make me happy and make my life meaningful, but after 3 months I returned back to Australia, drifting from one job to another then last year I had a heart attack which led to having a triple bypass after 5 weeks my boss said he prefer if I did not come back (he was concerned it could happen again) so I found another job but my employer was not happy with my work no matter how hard I tried so I returned back home, but I encountered the same problems as before, now nine jobs in 3 years later I am financially broke, about to lose my apartment because I can't afford rent, health is on the decline again and just got advised I now have skin cancer and anxiety as well as my teeth falling out, it's becoming all to hard, I am at the point where I am exhausted mentally from all of this and I often think I am past my due by date, I know I am a good person and my heart is in the right place but I can't talk to anyone about this because there is no one and no one seems to care anyway

HamSolo01 I just feel like i have no chance..
  • replies: 766

A bit of context: im 23, studying full time and i work a little bit on the side as a tutor. Ive been dealing with this crap for 4 years now and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. As a result of depression and social anxiety ive had no relationships... View more

A bit of context: im 23, studying full time and i work a little bit on the side as a tutor. Ive been dealing with this crap for 4 years now and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. As a result of depression and social anxiety ive had no relationships, no girlffriends, no sex, no nothing. Increasingly over time friends are starting up relationships and enjoying feeling desired. I tried tinder once, and actually met a girl who as it turned it out had a fair bit in common with me but because of my depression and anxieties i was a total mess. I screwed it up.. That was just over a year ago. I still haven't been able to get over it. It was the first time i had actually ever been on anything (even though she maintained it wasnt really a date). The only other time before that was with a girl i spoke to at uni and got friendly with. She was insane. Told me mental health wasnt even a thing.. then she just ignored me and that friendship ended in the dumps. I feel gross, less of a man and feel like i will just be on the scrap heap. Whats worse is that it just gets harder and harder as you get older. If i have another person tell me i must have it good because im a tall guy, relatively good looking (apparently i am according to some, yet i dont think so.. or else i wouldnt be failing so much) and that "the girls" must like me i may punch them in the face. It's warped too.. when people compliment you on your appearance your immediate response should not be anger... but if people actually knew the hurt and pain... i feeel like i should be out there... or else im just gonna regret my young years.. I just feel so alone. My depression has creeped up on me and my anxiety is through the roof. No use talking to my family.. they haven't learned anything. Im not going back to hospital. Its boring. It gets in the way. I feel like i dont belong there... Anyway. Feels a bit better to say that here.

Angie_2023 Rejected by workforce because of ADHD disability
  • replies: 6

In the last 5 years, I was really fighting for survival, by taking contract after contract with the government agencies in Canberra. With each contract ending because of ADHD or the treatment for ADHD. In my first agency after finding out that I coul... View more

In the last 5 years, I was really fighting for survival, by taking contract after contract with the government agencies in Canberra. With each contract ending because of ADHD or the treatment for ADHD. In my first agency after finding out that I could be on the ADHD medication, took out the incident form and run this among the team members to confirm they do not feel safe with me there. One women started reading aloud the question from the survey to humiliate me. In my next government agency I was working remotely, and one day out of the blue, the manager said that I was aggressive, because I made the comment about my private laptop not having enough of memory to handle the request. Soon after, she asked me to leave. After that I went back with contract to the Agency I was employed in the first contract, and I found that not only I am tagged as the ADHD medication user- they used the derogatory word, but Corporate Security were also saying that I am violent. I am middle aged women, and you could say many things about me, but violent is completely out of my character. I stayed with this agency for 9 months, but one day when working remotely we had a meeting online, and when closing my laptop, there was medication sitting there. The women who was all suspicious about me, because although I had a baseline clearance and WWVP card, there was rumours about alleged violence. She took the video to Security guys. I know that she took this video, because in my next contract, which I managed to organised as the previous had no hope for extension, I found that she provided this video to security. This contract was a nightmare. I do believe that manager, after finding out that I am suspect, has ordered police to spy on me, remotely and on my phone. The team members had a session of watching the video which has been sent by Dear friend from the previous work. They were going through all my personal records, medical records, dispute with my ex husband. They were talking about my income, saying that I done well for the past year, despite of the being an addict. One day, I had to run out of this place, because I was terrorised, humiliated and ostracised. At some point, I told manager that I know what they are doing and that I have the proof of them taking video of me remotely. She also realised that, all action of collecting evidence for police, could not be valid as with my status of person with disability, she would not be able to say I broke the law or code of conduct.

Flint80 Bipolar- hallelujah!
  • replies: 3

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I o... View more

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I or the GP explored the other symptoms which as a result may have changed the diagnosis to bipolar? When I have bouts of depression it's not just depression but periods of highs which are on the same level as coming up on amphetamine ( yes I did it in my younger days), the feeling of immortality, greatness, grandiose racing thoughts wanting to do things that I don't usually do and I get really silly and talkative. These periods last for a few weeks at a time maybe a couple of times a year. One minute I am imagining I am the best looking guy in the world and everyone is looking at me, that I am going to be a world beater at my chosen sport ( which when it happens feels 100% real) to I am worthless, bored and contemplating or idealising suicide. The whole period adrenaline rushes through my body, weather it's feeding crippling anxiety or feeding my over inflated imagination. Throughout my life I have had these ' peroids' and they have worsened or lessened in severity depending on what triggers them or how my life is travelling in the moment. I have been delusional, thinking people are out to get me, get me sacked from my job or sabotage me in some way, paranoid to an extent I wouldnt go out of the house and hallucinated ( in my late teens, young adult hood). This was coupled with risky sexual behaviours, however I don't experience the latter as much now. Until I have really though about it, I have played down these feeling as normal and kind of ignored them when I am not in the moment. I have over the last year had a really difficult couple of episodes which have lasted approx 6 weeks each and habe been harder to cope with than in recent years. At the moment I am working with a psychologist, exploring the possibility of bipolar? I am not sure what I am really wanting to ask on this forum but, can someone please provide a clear sort of indication of what bipolar is, how many mania/ hypermania you typically experience in a year and does this period of mania/ hypermania also consist of depressive lows, obsessive thoughs, crazy anxiety as well as the highs? Any feedback or communication, information would be great to help me understand some of what's going on

Cen569 Workplace Lack of Support
  • replies: 1

I work in education, I love the kids and seeing them succeed. Over the past few years things have started to become almost unbearable outside the classroom. Entitled kids and parents that don't believe the rules apply to them (ie: playground is close... View more

I work in education, I love the kids and seeing them succeed. Over the past few years things have started to become almost unbearable outside the classroom. Entitled kids and parents that don't believe the rules apply to them (ie: playground is closed before and after school for safety reasons as no staff on duty), administration that doesn't support staff (ie: students are allowed to constantly do the wrong thing or be disrespectful without consequence), administration and teachers that just want to be everybody's friend (I believe that there needs to be a clear line between teachers and students) and allow students to consistently break the rules and undermine other staff directions to students for the same reason. It removes any sense of control, being supported and creates a lot of anxiety. I just don't understand why parents think its okay to ignore the rules and show their kids this is okay and some parents/teachers can't see that children need rules and guidance to give them a better chance to succeed outside the school environment. An employer isn't going to give someone a 2nd chance after swearing at them etc

worriedmum64 Scared for incarcerated son
  • replies: 1

Hi,My son is 28yo and currently on remand and looking like he will be sentenced for 2-6 months.He has struggled with his mental health and drug addiction for over 10 years.This is not his 1st time in trouble with the law but first time in jail.I have... View more

Hi,My son is 28yo and currently on remand and looking like he will be sentenced for 2-6 months.He has struggled with his mental health and drug addiction for over 10 years.This is not his 1st time in trouble with the law but first time in jail.I have had limited contact and haven't been able to visit and he has been locked up for 3 weeks.I'm concerned he has gotten himself into trouble and scared he may be in danger.He rang today and left a voice mail asking me to deposit money into his account as he's in trouble and owes money.I also had a call from someone's partner who claimed they were with my son asking me to put money into his account.I don't know how the system works and haven't been able to get answers or information when I've called the prison.My dilemma is do I deposit the money or will this be the 1st of many times I'm asked to deposit money.I've heard drugs are readily accessible in prison.Thanks for listening.I just don't know what to think or what to do