Long-term support over the journey

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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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anon_1475 bpd new diagnosis
  • replies: 1

recently diagnosed w bpd. it all makes sense and feels validating but i’m scared of the stigma. i’ve even noticed my bf has withdrawn since i told him about it

recently diagnosed w bpd. it all makes sense and feels validating but i’m scared of the stigma. i’ve even noticed my bf has withdrawn since i told him about it

Flyingsolo-_ Lost
  • replies: 1

54, care for my mum (85) no friends, and the few I have don't want to listen to Me. All I get is "it will pass", your doing great! . No one has the time to listen without judgement. Yes I often wish I wasn't around. I take risk with medication and al... View more

54, care for my mum (85) no friends, and the few I have don't want to listen to Me. All I get is "it will pass", your doing great! . No one has the time to listen without judgement. Yes I often wish I wasn't around. I take risk with medication and alcohol, but still wake up in the morning. I guess bc I can't do this to my mum I try and keep myself busy, however injuries from the ADF has limitations. I've stopped eating as im no longer hungry, dont even think about food. I've got my ph on DND as im not interacting with anyone. Yes I do see my Dr and shrink frequently and to no avail to be honest. I'm not even sure if this will even work. I've got family friends passing away around me and I dont get a chance to grieve. They say put your mum into respite, but my pride won't allow that. I have no family members to rely upon, as they are dealing with there own issue's.

Unbeliever Is depression a natural reaction to an insane world?
  • replies: 253

This is a thought I have been pondering for a while. The default to view depression as "something wrong", or a "brain chemical imbalance" or as "a disease" or something that "needs to be fixed" or requires "medication" or "therapy" appears to be the ... View more

This is a thought I have been pondering for a while. The default to view depression as "something wrong", or a "brain chemical imbalance" or as "a disease" or something that "needs to be fixed" or requires "medication" or "therapy" appears to be the most common response of practically everyone. From doctors, to psychiatrists, to therapists, to the general population, to the depressed individuals themselves... the universal belief appears to be that "the person needs to get help". But what if... the living in depressed state is correct? What if it isn't an "imbalance" or isn't something "wrong"? What if being depressed is the only natural state to be in for an intelligent, empathetic, compassionate, informed, thinking individual to exist in the current state of our world? What if to NOT be depressed about is the true indication of mental sickness? I'm not saying that being depressed is fun in any way... most people on this forum would be well aware that it sucks. But that is not what I'm saying. What I mean is... could existing in a state of depression be completely natural for someone living in a place where so many things are obviously terrible... both on a personal level and in the world as a whole? My reasons for this perspective are numerous. Far too many to write in only 2500 words. But basically... The real world is an extremely depressing place for any person that cares at all about anything outside of themselves. Eg. If you care about animals... the reality is many beautiful species are already lost forever, many others are so close to the verge of extinction that even if everyone worldwide decided to do everything they could to save them... they would still be lost. At home there are people that still buy people animals as christmas gifts, refuse to desex their pets, the massive amount of pets put down in pounds annually. There is backyard animal cruelty, the dog racing industry using live bait, shooting race horses with legs, women's hormonal treatments for menapause, the meat industry, birds choking on our plastic half a world away, overfishing. The list goes on and on. It is reality and it is depressing. Care about animals and feeling "depressed" about it IS correct. And that is one tiny subject in a plethora of subjects. 3 billion people in starving poverty, the water wars, religious fanatics, corrupt governments, womens rights violations, slavery, wars, child rape, etc etc It's the people that are not depressed that worry me.

monkey_magic Should I just suck this up?
  • replies: 2269

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation. I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institutio... View more

OK, this isn't easy for me to write bcas I respect police also but this is my situation. I aparantly unlawfully entered a friends property, that's right a friends property. He wasn't home and I wasn't believed. Anyhow I was put in a mental institution. I preferred the hospital choice over the police station choice thinking I'll be in there for a couple weeks. 3 months later I came out overmedicated feeling like shite...misdiagnosed with a mental illness as a " safety net" seriously!!!! 3 months of my life where I couldn't work, and live my normal life. Inclosed in a small space, going crazy. Should I just " suck this up". ?

Canyoufeelit Hey I'm Dave
  • replies: 1

you can't get angry once you have died inside.. your mask becomes an emotionless zombie face.. and you should by now now how to pull yourself in and out of deep psychosis .. just remember with the loss of happiness , you lose anger and fear.. you can... View more

you can't get angry once you have died inside.. your mask becomes an emotionless zombie face.. and you should by now now how to pull yourself in and out of deep psychosis .. just remember with the loss of happiness , you lose anger and fear.. you can follow the psychosis deep ..once you can see what others only see in nightmares .and shrug it off . You see why some poor men and women can't keep fighting.. know one knows what's real...perception is each to there own.. maybe the doctor who tries to crack into your thoughts is the crazy one... He just doesn't know it.. .life is what U make it.. and I dropped mine, in the sand , then it got rained on and a dog shat on it!!. But somehow I fluked having an amazing son.. so I got backup to fight my demon's.and a reason for hope and the power that love gives. And I think that's life's golden nugget..

Guest_2412 Coping strategies for unrelenting anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi I have been experiencing varying degrees of anxiety and grief for the past week months. Anxiety has been part of me for 20years.Normally it eases and goes away eventually. This time it is lingering and getting worse each day. My head is full of “n... View more

Hi I have been experiencing varying degrees of anxiety and grief for the past week months. Anxiety has been part of me for 20years.Normally it eases and goes away eventually. This time it is lingering and getting worse each day. My head is full of “noise” .. not a thought but a discomfort that I can’t shift - I think this must be “anxiety” .. I am a survivor of child abuse and neglect.. now in my 40s… I was wondering if others have found they need to adopt different strategies for anxiety over time - my ones of seeing friends, family, community and exercising aren’t working like they once did. Is this normal? What have others done if they’ve reached this point?

tmas Illness, malaise, and trying not to disappoint others
  • replies: 5

Long story short, I got long covid after my second bout 5 full moths ago. The experience of being sick was itself terrifying, I had a few days of being unable to move my limbs, sciatic pain, and for a day or two couldn't even speak and struggled to b... View more

Long story short, I got long covid after my second bout 5 full moths ago. The experience of being sick was itself terrifying, I had a few days of being unable to move my limbs, sciatic pain, and for a day or two couldn't even speak and struggled to breathe. I felt like I was wading through sand, and wasn't physically able to ask for help when I needed it. I just looked like I was sleeping it off from the outer. I honestly think I had some sort of post traumatic response to this, I'm still trying to move through it and it hasn't been a good last week or two. I'm over the worst of the debilitating fatigue, but I still have a host of weird bodily pains and symptoms that interfere with my daily life. My partner, who nursed me through the illness and is generally just the most beautiful person, had a lot of trouble understanding what fatigue is as he's never seen it before and didn't realise the extent of my illness because I'd hidden it. My problem is that when I feel malaise, I try to hide it to not be a burden. I've made progress unlearning this since moving in with my partner but it's hard wired. I start to observe him interacting with my behaviour, and the dissociated feeling eats at me. I feel like a disappointment. I try to push through and act fine, but he can obviously see through it and before we discussed this openly he interpreted the detachment as disinterest or withdrawal from him on my part. I have OCD, in my teens it was severe enough for several hospitalisations, something else that has followed me. I had health obsessions, complicated by the fact I have an autoimmune disease. I started having panic attacks again in the last few months, I was brushing off the "minor" ones but I had a full blown hyperventilating one a week ago after I got in my head about something and it terrified me. I have body pains that are pretty constant, but sometimes quite acute. Today my neck went into spasm so I couldn't join in with family - he was very worried obviously so I downplayed it, and then I could tell he was disappointed. He suggested just resting at their house, but I know my pain would have gotten worse if I tried to go. I don't know how to handle this feeling that I'm failing those I love when I'm so overwhelmed by the discomfort I constantly have moving through my body. Just looking for some wise words.

Quercus Feeling well enough at last to find my voice again
  • replies: 1297

Hi everyone! I have known for years there was a forum here and was too afraid to join because it would mean admitting I needed medication and just couldn't fix this by myself. So here I am at last! I hope this helps even one person if they are feelin... View more

Hi everyone! I have known for years there was a forum here and was too afraid to join because it would mean admitting I needed medication and just couldn't fix this by myself. So here I am at last! I hope this helps even one person if they are feeling like I did. Ok here goes..... I'm a 32 year old mum of 2, 15 months apart. I'm happily married, love my job, love my family and friends. I have support. Nothing bad has happened to me. So I thought I had no right to feel depressed. I have always been an anxious and emotional person. Mood swings were normal for me. I made every excuse to myself and the doctors to explain away my poor scores on the postnatal depression checklists. I admitted I constantly thought about suicide but that had been normal for me for years so it didn't feel like a big deal, it didn't mean I'd do anything. I was angry all the time and my moods were unpredictable. Hubby said constantly I don't care what the doctor said you perform for them and I know you. Something is wrong. After my second bub and the start of a new health condition (psoriatic arthritis) I saw a psychologist who said I was dealing with chronic pain and two small children and what I felt was normal. I practiced mindfulness. Family and friends gave me rest. Eventually I got medication to help my joints. I talked. I ate well, I went back to work. Everything was supposed to be better.... But I felt worse. I'd see the doctor and they'd say I was ok but I'd stand at the sink washing dishes and plan the steps of how to kill myself. If I wasn't busy I would find the thoughts repeating. They'd all be better off without you. You're worthless. They'll only put up with so much of your issues and then they'll leave you. So I'd plan how to die. And I was TERRIFIED. My husband told me to write down exactly what I felt on a bad day and he put it in an envelope and made me an appointment for the psychologist. We made a plan. I would go in and say I need you to read this. I don't feel like this now but this is how I've felt most days for years but I can't seem to communicate it to a doctor and get help and I'm so frightened. And finally! A crisis plan put in place until I could see the psychiatrist! Apparently I have had major depression for over 12 years. Only after starting an antidepressant did I notice how anxious and self destructive I had constantly been. I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore. I am happy again. It's the start of my journey but there is hope at last.

jaken 5 days after quitting cocaine
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone I’m new to this but thought I would share my journey . Never did any drugs up until 5 years ago when I turned 35 .Alcohol was a once a year thing and 2 glasses would have me dancing on tables. I was then introduced to coke . At first it w... View more

Hi everyone I’m new to this but thought I would share my journey . Never did any drugs up until 5 years ago when I turned 35 .Alcohol was a once a year thing and 2 glasses would have me dancing on tables. I was then introduced to coke . At first it was super casual and slowly progressed into every weekend . I would get excited just to do it . During the lockdowns it became far more frequent . Every Third day on average I would say . Last Monday I decided to flush the remainder and I’m now about to sleep and complete day 5 . I find myself getting irritable and somewhat anxious . I have thought about it a fair bit but I continue to remind myself about everything I hate about using it . All the thoughts I would feel afterwards etc I have delete the dealers numbers and blocked the contact as well . I started training again this week and I will say that my body is already feeling a lot better . I just wonder how long the cloudy image I have been seeings for the past five years will last ( if that makes sense ) does anyone have any tips for me and timelines of when I could be on top of this

bron198111 My son is in jail and I can’t stop crying
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my son was arrested on the 20th dec 22 and was released on the 10th march 23 his then gf called the police on him she was trying to stab him and he grabbed her arms to restrain her a few months prior the police were called to an argument at my house ... View more

my son was arrested on the 20th dec 22 and was released on the 10th march 23 his then gf called the police on him she was trying to stab him and he grabbed her arms to restrain her a few months prior the police were called to an argument at my house where me and my son and other kids live they ended up doing an ivo which was never ever served on him he was done with 5 counts of breaching his ivo at his own house where she kept coming despite me continuously telling her to leave even a couple of times reported her to police stating this is his house and she won’t stay away and with ivo I always thought no contact goes both ways she tried to get the avo revoked whilst in jail and she is pregnant with his kid he was out 3 weeks and didn’t get angry he was the happiest he had been in years and getting along so well with everyone but this girl kept messaging the day he got out she told me to bring him there to get his things we didn’t go every day she is still messaging asking to borrow money etc or saying she needs helphe still didn’t then her and her bf started messaging him saying she is having a family with some one else thanks for giving me a baby and then he replied and not long after he was arrested and sent back to jail he’s been there for a week now and doesn’t go to court until the 3rd of may for a plea I was nearly beaten to death by a man and he got 9 months and my son is the one who helps me through my anxiety and depression he seen what we went through so he has been totally against hurting a woman ever anyway he is only 18 and he calls me crying because he is worried about me and wants to come home he has never raised a hand to hit her only grabbed her wrists to stop her punching the crap out of him I have cried a river I don’t no wat to do anyone have advice for