Long-term support over the journey

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Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

All discussions

mtc Imprisoned Families
  • replies: 1

I’m from the USA originally and started a life in AU over a decade ago. While I have been here, my sister’s son started to experience paranoid schizophrenia and sadly killed someone. He should be in prison, he was guilty, he needs medical treatment a... View more

I’m from the USA originally and started a life in AU over a decade ago. While I have been here, my sister’s son started to experience paranoid schizophrenia and sadly killed someone. He should be in prison, he was guilty, he needs medical treatment and should be under the care of a psychiatrist his entire life. He went into prison at 20, will be in prison for 45 years, we’ll all be dead by the time he gets out, so that means the remainder of my sister’s life is essentially over (for any mother who has a son in prison knows this). She’s not the strong type to move on (the guilt, the sense of failure, the anxiety of going out - it was in the news, the removal of any social media, the hiding, the complete identity change). Aside from that, how do families “move on?” Prison doesn’t just take the offender, it takes the entire family. Those who don’t want to be taken, leave the family, as in you never hear from them again (it’s like they died). The ones who comfort the mother, they walk the line of staying in prison with her. She never moves on. She would be happier if everyone in the family wrote to him or kept in touch somehow but because everyone has walked away, she feels compelled to remain for the daily phone call and can never move on. I don’t think my family can cope with 45 years, the remainder of our lives like this. My sister has tried to kill herself once, she’s turned to religion, as you do when you can’t find answers or others like you. I never cared about prisoners, prisons, any of that…until it came my way. I’ve never thought about what prison is there for and how it is supposed to “rehabilitate.” I presume just like his victim’s family will suffer generations, we shall as well and that’s the point of prison. It’s just insane, I can’t even explain the challenge of your soul to try to survive it.

TheFarSide Blended family and BPD Wife
  • replies: 266

Unfortunately I find myself dealing with the fallout of separating from my BPD wife... I met my wife through online means. She was everything I wanted and more - her values, her wit, her looks, the sex, the similarities and instant compatibility. The... View more

Unfortunately I find myself dealing with the fallout of separating from my BPD wife... I met my wife through online means. She was everything I wanted and more - her values, her wit, her looks, the sex, the similarities and instant compatibility. The romance moved at record rates and seemingly without a hitch. We met each others children/family/lives and no alarm bells sounded. Then due to matters of coincidence I found myself need to move house (I was renting at the time) and she insisted we should be together. I moved to hers and it seemed so easy. Before too long we spoke of buying a place together and then marriage. After 12 months and one new house later we got married and this is where the fairy tale ended. The night of our wedding came the most illogical aggressive argument about nothing. Her venom laden words seemed to morph into new topics with no time to stop and evaluate what the issues were. It was like a 3 year old tantrum. The fight finally came to a close when she uttered the words 'it's me or your child - you choose' (I am an every second weekend dad). As soon as those words came I knew there was something much darker at work than simple unchecked emotions. From there my wife could barely go for much more than a week without firing up at me or her youngest daughter (living with us). I started to notice the same daughter suffering - little OCD's and hurting herself behind her bedroom door to silence the pain. The oldest daughter had already been kicked out by mum to live with her dad. The unpredictability escalated & I found out she used antidepressants. I started to research the symptoms and behaviours and stumbled upon countless BPD forums and guides - this was it without a doubt: the love bomb tactics, everyone else is to blame, distorted facts, lies and excessive anger, the changes of subject when confronted, not answering questions, the use of whatever shouted verbal weapon would get results & the quest for forgiveness and compassion when she'd ebbed down days later. I managed to get her to go to a Psychiatrist. She was at least honest (I was in the room). Although the assessment process seemed short the Doc said she showed enough traits to be considered mild BPD. Since then its only intensified. In moments I know she has tried to get better and I've loved, supported & been patient with her. I've not been mentally affected but I know its time to sell and say goodbye to the dream - it was never real anyway.

Quercus Feeling well enough at last to find my voice again
  • replies: 1302

Hi everyone! I have known for years there was a forum here and was too afraid to join because it would mean admitting I needed medication and just couldn't fix this by myself. So here I am at last! I hope this helps even one person if they are feelin... View more

Hi everyone! I have known for years there was a forum here and was too afraid to join because it would mean admitting I needed medication and just couldn't fix this by myself. So here I am at last! I hope this helps even one person if they are feeling like I did. Ok here goes..... I'm a 32 year old mum of 2, 15 months apart. I'm happily married, love my job, love my family and friends. I have support. Nothing bad has happened to me. So I thought I had no right to feel depressed. I have always been an anxious and emotional person. Mood swings were normal for me. I made every excuse to myself and the doctors to explain away my poor scores on the postnatal depression checklists. I admitted I constantly thought about suicide but that had been normal for me for years so it didn't feel like a big deal, it didn't mean I'd do anything. I was angry all the time and my moods were unpredictable. Hubby said constantly I don't care what the doctor said you perform for them and I know you. Something is wrong. After my second bub and the start of a new health condition (psoriatic arthritis) I saw a psychologist who said I was dealing with chronic pain and two small children and what I felt was normal. I practiced mindfulness. Family and friends gave me rest. Eventually I got medication to help my joints. I talked. I ate well, I went back to work. Everything was supposed to be better.... But I felt worse. I'd see the doctor and they'd say I was ok but I'd stand at the sink washing dishes and plan the steps of how to kill myself. If I wasn't busy I would find the thoughts repeating. They'd all be better off without you. You're worthless. They'll only put up with so much of your issues and then they'll leave you. So I'd plan how to die. And I was TERRIFIED. My husband told me to write down exactly what I felt on a bad day and he put it in an envelope and made me an appointment for the psychologist. We made a plan. I would go in and say I need you to read this. I don't feel like this now but this is how I've felt most days for years but I can't seem to communicate it to a doctor and get help and I'm so frightened. And finally! A crisis plan put in place until I could see the psychiatrist! Apparently I have had major depression for over 12 years. Only after starting an antidepressant did I notice how anxious and self destructive I had constantly been. I don't have suicidal thoughts anymore. I am happy again. It's the start of my journey but there is hope at last.

Guest_82564532 Sparatic drug use and decision-making processes not right
  • replies: 1

Hi I have an issue where I go well for weeks and then because i feel no happiness I stupidly make a decision to use drugs to numb the pain I feel. I am a single dad and have alot of depression driving me to make these decisions. I need long term help... View more

Hi I have an issue where I go well for weeks and then because i feel no happiness I stupidly make a decision to use drugs to numb the pain I feel. I am a single dad and have alot of depression driving me to make these decisions. I need long term help and strategies

July Sadness,grief and regret over sons incarceration
  • replies: 570

Hi, I am new to this but need to talk to someone, anyone, I am a mother of 4 children , three adults ages 25, 29,32 and a 10 year old son from from second marriage. My eldest son was convicted of a crime and is now in prison,he is 32 and the whole ex... View more

Hi, I am new to this but need to talk to someone, anyone, I am a mother of 4 children , three adults ages 25, 29,32 and a 10 year old son from from second marriage. My eldest son was convicted of a crime and is now in prison,he is 32 and the whole experience has devastated me , sitting through the trial I cried the whole two days everyone was looking at me obviously knowing I was the mother ,then his sentencing was a day I shall never forget I had to write a letter to the judge about my son, about his drug use, about his father not being in his life since we divorced and his downfall, I also wrote about how I loved him would stand by him, I'm sorry I failed him and he turned to drugs too take away his pain, but underneath all that was a wonderful creative boy who just took a wrong turn, the judge starting reading my letter word for word out to the court room, I looked at my beautiful boy and there were tears running down his face, I think he finally realised what he has done not only to himself but to me as his mother, that image is burned into my memory ,for once in my life I could not protect my child and it killed me, his sentence was given and they took him away, he will be released about september. I cannot tell anyone and the stress is unbearable,I have to lie to people to excuse his absence , he is clean and sober now and has turned this life around he is doing all the courses to correct his life while in prison and is deeply regretful of his choices, I do not excuse his behaviour but I am his mother and I have to stand by him, I look at all the other families visiting in prison and it is so sad it affects the whole family. This is the first time I have said this out aloud it is so hard to live with this "secret",I just don't know how to live with this.

MiSSYSiPPiiiEEE Professional plateau
  • replies: 1

Hi I was hoping to get some career advice. I graduated and first registered as a nurse in 2020, all during the peak of COVID19. I was offered a grad position in a surgical ward but turned it down for a full time offer for a position I had applied for... View more

Hi I was hoping to get some career advice. I graduated and first registered as a nurse in 2020, all during the peak of COVID19. I was offered a grad position in a surgical ward but turned it down for a full time offer for a position I had applied for in paeds (this was my dream job and I studied my butt off for the interview) even though it meant that I had to move to a different city and leave my dog home, as rentals were sooo expensive I could only afford a room in a share house. I was so proud of myself and my hard work but I then got bullied by one of the paed grad nurses, a close family member passed away due to covid, and my mother was stuck overseas because of the lockdowns and cancellation of flights back to Australia. I instantly lost all my self esteem, packed my things, and moved back home. 6 months later I was lucky enough to secure another job opportunity where the people I worked with were THE BEST HUMANS but since our jobs were COVID related, we eventually all had to go on our own ways. I am now nearly 4 years post grad and still struggling to find a stable position. Applying for jobs is really hard since I don't have any recent references. The worst part, is that my anxiety is so debilitating that it prevents me from performing at my best during opportunities such as interviews, casual jobs, interactions with patients/people that I've met for the first time. Now I just really feel stuck with how I am supposed to progress further with my nursing career. Any advice is appreciated thank you.

Guest_9866 Mental health service axed and now isolated
  • replies: 2

Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left... View more

Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left the public system and I was suppose to continue with a new pyschologist. However, a decision was made to axe the service (which was reinstated later with replacement but only for new clients under strict new criteria). I have been alone since September. I have no one. No longer getting medical help. Call and online chats not working. Forced to pay for private telehealth and I cannot afford it and it is going over old ground work and going no where (considering ending private sessions and just stand on my own two feet). I live in regional qld. I have no one. I am carer but no help available either. Every time I have asked for help in recent months has blown up in my face which makes me worse unwell. Where can introverts like me, aged in 40s, have no family and no friends (completely isolated) get help. Is there any grants or funding opportunities I can access to continue accessing help. Thankyou.

Idontevenknow Chronic suicidality
  • replies: 311

Hi everyone, I have had chronically suicidal for over two years. It has led to a few attempts and hospitalisations. I'm currently receiving treatment/therapy but it's a long process. Its kind of getting tough because unfortunately you can't just paus... View more

Hi everyone, I have had chronically suicidal for over two years. It has led to a few attempts and hospitalisations. I'm currently receiving treatment/therapy but it's a long process. Its kind of getting tough because unfortunately you can't just pause life. I'm under a lot of stress from school (zillions of grade 12 assessments), my anxiety has skyrocketed and I'm trying to continue functioning as a normal human being despite being very depressed. Does anyone have any tips on how to keep going in those times between treatment and living a relatively normal life or just with dealing with chronic suicidality in general? Thanks heaps

Unigurl18 Starting university terror
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scare... View more

Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scared I am about starting uni but I woke up today and felt the same. I just have a continual sense of impending doom about starting uni and I might be being silly, but no matter what I do I’m still really frightened. I must admit that I’ve been struggling with feelings of emptiness for a while which has gotten a bit better a little while ago but it got worse again the closer I get to starting university. I don’t know if anyone feels the same or understands what I’m feeling, or maybe I’m just overreacting, but I just wanted to put it out there. thanks

xsmummy Burn out at work
  • replies: 2

After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to ... View more

After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to help. I'm beyond exhausted and just don't have the energy to even think about these strategies let alone put them in place. I would love any advice, help anything right now that might help. Was anyone put on any medication to help them through burn out? Any help would be amazing!!!