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BeyondBlue Welcome, read this if it's your first time here !
  • replies: 0

Hey there This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and suporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey... View more

Hey there This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and suporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey with ups and downs. Take a look through these longer conversations and you can see how supportive, validating and kind this community can be. It can be tricky to join an ongoing conversation but please feel free to contribute. You are the expert in what has worked for you and what you are living with. We want to hear it and these wonderful discussions are only ever richer for what you can add. There are a few tips for this section of the Forums that might be helpful Have a good read. These are long and in-depth conversations so before you step in, have a read of a few posts to get a sense of the space. It is not a great spot for New Topics. Comments are very welcome, but if you want to start something fresh try another section of the Forums. Thanks for your understanding, we want to hear what you think of these conversations and look forward to your contibutions. Thanks Beyond Blue

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Jaster First post...looking for some kindred spirits.
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exer... View more

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exercise has helped up unto a point, sadly, like today...I just feel awful and hopeless. I have no family or friends and this is for many reasons. My consciously disconnected from my family as it was too triggering. Too many memories and disappointments. Friends...well I pushed them away from embarrassment. Other than my long suffering wife who is an angel, I literally have no-one and this has been the case for many years now. I can flick a switch and literally be social and friendly. You would never know. Its just a facade and I wish I could find my true passion for living again. Thanks for indulging me. I hope you are well.

Steven1 My wife isn't the least bit interested in sex and I am taking it personally. Should I?
  • replies: 176

Hey guys. I am hoping I am not the only guy in this boat... my wife never wants to have sex with me. We are still relatively young (I am 30 and she is 29) and we have been married 4 years, been together about ten. We used to have a pretty active sex ... View more

Hey guys. I am hoping I am not the only guy in this boat... my wife never wants to have sex with me. We are still relatively young (I am 30 and she is 29) and we have been married 4 years, been together about ten. We used to have a pretty active sex life but it has gone dormant since we had kids about 3 years ago. She always says she is tired and makes excuses like she can't be bothered or other trivial things. And she never comes on to me. I always have to initiate it and I feel rejected and horrible when she knocks me back. Being depressed and having low self esteem probably makes it seem worse, but I take it pretty badly being knocked back and going without sex for months. I feel maybe she isn't attracted to me or in love with me anymore but she denies this. I don't know what to think anymore. Any thoughts anyone?

mangotarts Losing the ability to express emotion and unsure if I am being mistreated
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the las... View more

Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the last 5 or 6 years that I cannot cry even though I feel such a deep need to let something out. When I was 11 I had my parents split and I didn't really get the support needed from either of them to understand why or to make my way through the sadness/confusion someone that young would with an event such as that, and I was often put into the place where I had to take care of my mum if she was sad about the topic. This led to my mum leaving home and coming home late as she was with her partner who replaced my dad, and with my mum out wherever she was, my dad was left to care for us at home until the divorce was finalised and he found a new place to stay. I turned to a various array of substances and snuck out every night to use them because it helped me ignore the thoughts on whether my mum did or didn't like being around me. A few months after I began moving towards stronger drugs I tried to take my own life and since then nothing has been the same at all, the aftermath of that was a long period of complete numbness and I stopped seeing any colour inside of the world somehow. My attempt has given me issues with a medication I take to help me sleep as the feeling it provides is identical to how I felt as my life was drifting away. Nobody knew that I tried to leave and I don't think I'll ever tell my parents just because I don't want to hurt them. The main issue I have now that my colour and emotions have come back is sometimes I don't feel present or real and I haven't been able to cry or feel much since then. In the 6 years since my attempt, I haven't found any way to release any anger or sadness I feel from just day-to-day life or issues and its finally gotten to the point that I cant take it so I would appreciate answers on why I cant get any of it out of my system.

mmMekitty Introducing mmMekitty
  • replies: 798

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people. The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard dri... View more

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people. The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time. As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated. I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out. I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know. I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here. I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion. I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know. I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that. (Purring) mmMekitty

Deb1963 I don't know where to turn for help
  • replies: 1

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worri... View more

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worried he is going to end up hurt. Where do I take this to get help....

Pyrolee 7th Place of employment and feeling really angry and defeated and life with family is hard
  • replies: 2

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings... View more

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings or verbal information of anything I've done wrong. This is my 7th place and I'm feeling why is this constantly happening. I'm actually a genuine nice person and hard working and not there to cause any issues but I feel like I've made enemies and all, legit haven't done anything wrong. I'm currently serving out my notice period of 1 week and feels so awkward and trapped. With Christmas being around the corner I'm worried about not being able to get another job. I feel like I need answers and closure to why this keeps happening but every time I reach out its always a it'll be fine but this keeps happening where I go from a company ask millions of questions to make sure it's suited for me long term and get screwed around and it's really playing an affect my mood and purpose of living. Also both my kids have been diagnosed with health issues, one has moderate hearing loss and specialist and doctors can't figure out where and how and the other child has severe allergies to wheat, eggs and peanuts. I'm feeling like why is life constantly throwing me curve balls like this and everytime I'm needing this to stop it keeps coming back worse. What should I do? I'm feeling like I'm letting down my family cause of this work issue constantly happening

Janey123 How do I build my self worth outside of work?
  • replies: 2

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years an... View more

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years and while I have done a really good job on a tough project and receive regular praise from management, I am finding that I go through pretty regular cycles of burnout, usually accompanied by imposter syndrome and anxiety. My work regularly pushes me outside of my comfort zone and this takes a huge toll on my mental health outside of work. I am very introverted and prefer to read and watch tv to playing sport or going out to socialise. I have small children, and live rurally so my time and options for outside of work things is quite limited. Through most of my life, it is my work that has given me the mental stimulation I need and most of my socialisation. I feel like as I get older, and my kids start school, I am less driven to continue pushing myself so hard at work. I want to take the pressure off and have the 'space' to focus on other aspects of my life.. Maybe my values are changing? I am tired of always being so stressed at home because of work. I recently dropped my hours back to be at home more, but I have found it has made me feel more stressed as I am trying to fit more in to less time. I still find that I am always pushing hard to achieve more at work because I don't know how not to.. and my mental health is deteriorating. How do I continue doing well enough at work, but not drive myself to the point of poor mental health? How do I place more importance on my life outside of work? Thanks, Janey

Jody Holistic Art Therapy for Emotional and Mental Health and Wellbeing
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, After reading some of the posts here, I felt that I wanted to join because from what I have understood about mental health is that its an life long awareness journey, and those of us more sensitive to the experiences we have on this jour... View more

Hi everyone, After reading some of the posts here, I felt that I wanted to join because from what I have understood about mental health is that its an life long awareness journey, and those of us more sensitive to the experiences we have on this journey, sense and feel more deeply in order to process the levels of it which we do. From what I have understood so far is that once you get to a certain point in your mental health and wellbeing of either extreme in positive or negative states, it forever becomes a balancing act as it forces you to take control of the responsibility of your being and you need to navigate enduring waters when learning to sink or swim. Those who know me, are already aware of my life experiences and how they affected my health and wellbeing. For a long time it did not make sense to me why I was having all these experiences thrust upon me, challenging my emotions and mental health, and as a flow on, my physical health. For a while I was a counsellor and for a lifetime been a full time carer of 5 people - all at once and for decades without support or respite - so when it came to a critical point where I was having PTSD paralysis, sleep disorders, cortisol overloads and various other issues, enough was enough and I had to break away from it all. I took my saving grace, which was a life time of self medicated Art Therapy, and turned it into a career choice when I encountered so many people drifting in and out of their mental health care support and who needed someone to show them a step forward instead of simply shutting down. Regional and rural areas are so deprived of resources and assistance that people would rather end their lives than suffer the drifting that occurs when you fall between the cracks of lack of services, and unable to finding a connector to alternative options such as Art Therapy. Children and Youth in particular being vulnerable, and this was hammered home to me as a mother of a teenage son who lost 3 mates to suicide in just over one year when he was aged 15, because they could not find the resources to help them manage and deal with their issues at home in their personal lives. One thing Art Therapy does, is utilise an inner self empowering ability to be creative and engage in that process intuitively and safely. I recommend it for anyone. You do not need to be an artist, creativity is inbuilt in all of us and merely needs acknowledging. It can be as simple as colouring in. Give it a try, let me know what it was like.

Scared1956 Panic Attacks
  • replies: 2

I suffer with panic attacks, I hate mornings. I’m always thinking what if. How can I stop this

I suffer with panic attacks, I hate mornings. I’m always thinking what if. How can I stop this

Sparkling2003 Long -term difference?
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek ... View more

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek help was there a positive change in them and their relationships with people. Just looking for a little bit of hope that when my loved one does finally decide to seek help that eventually they will be happy and the environment will be calmer. I understand that there will always be moments that aren't positive but I'm currently feeling very hopeless and the idea that our relationship will mend is seeming very impossible. Just looking for guidance and peoples experience that will give me hope that there is chance our relationships will better or if I just need to accept that this may be the new norm.