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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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Flint80 Bipolar- hallelujah!
  • replies: 3

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I o... View more

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I or the GP explored the other symptoms which as a result may have changed the diagnosis to bipolar? When I have bouts of depression it's not just depression but periods of highs which are on the same level as coming up on amphetamine ( yes I did it in my younger days), the feeling of immortality, greatness, grandiose racing thoughts wanting to do things that I don't usually do and I get really silly and talkative. These periods last for a few weeks at a time maybe a couple of times a year. One minute I am imagining I am the best looking guy in the world and everyone is looking at me, that I am going to be a world beater at my chosen sport ( which when it happens feels 100% real) to I am worthless, bored and contemplating or idealising suicide. The whole period adrenaline rushes through my body, weather it's feeding crippling anxiety or feeding my over inflated imagination. Throughout my life I have had these ' peroids' and they have worsened or lessened in severity depending on what triggers them or how my life is travelling in the moment. I have been delusional, thinking people are out to get me, get me sacked from my job or sabotage me in some way, paranoid to an extent I wouldnt go out of the house and hallucinated ( in my late teens, young adult hood). This was coupled with risky sexual behaviours, however I don't experience the latter as much now. Until I have really though about it, I have played down these feeling as normal and kind of ignored them when I am not in the moment. I have over the last year had a really difficult couple of episodes which have lasted approx 6 weeks each and habe been harder to cope with than in recent years. At the moment I am working with a psychologist, exploring the possibility of bipolar? I am not sure what I am really wanting to ask on this forum but, can someone please provide a clear sort of indication of what bipolar is, how many mania/ hypermania you typically experience in a year and does this period of mania/ hypermania also consist of depressive lows, obsessive thoughs, crazy anxiety as well as the highs? Any feedback or communication, information would be great to help me understand some of what's going on

Cen569 Workplace Lack of Support
  • replies: 1

I work in education, I love the kids and seeing them succeed. Over the past few years things have started to become almost unbearable outside the classroom. Entitled kids and parents that don't believe the rules apply to them (ie: playground is close... View more

I work in education, I love the kids and seeing them succeed. Over the past few years things have started to become almost unbearable outside the classroom. Entitled kids and parents that don't believe the rules apply to them (ie: playground is closed before and after school for safety reasons as no staff on duty), administration that doesn't support staff (ie: students are allowed to constantly do the wrong thing or be disrespectful without consequence), administration and teachers that just want to be everybody's friend (I believe that there needs to be a clear line between teachers and students) and allow students to consistently break the rules and undermine other staff directions to students for the same reason. It removes any sense of control, being supported and creates a lot of anxiety. I just don't understand why parents think its okay to ignore the rules and show their kids this is okay and some parents/teachers can't see that children need rules and guidance to give them a better chance to succeed outside the school environment. An employer isn't going to give someone a 2nd chance after swearing at them etc

worriedmum64 Scared for incarcerated son
  • replies: 1

Hi,My son is 28yo and currently on remand and looking like he will be sentenced for 2-6 months.He has struggled with his mental health and drug addiction for over 10 years.This is not his 1st time in trouble with the law but first time in jail.I have... View more

Hi,My son is 28yo and currently on remand and looking like he will be sentenced for 2-6 months.He has struggled with his mental health and drug addiction for over 10 years.This is not his 1st time in trouble with the law but first time in jail.I have had limited contact and haven't been able to visit and he has been locked up for 3 weeks.I'm concerned he has gotten himself into trouble and scared he may be in danger.He rang today and left a voice mail asking me to deposit money into his account as he's in trouble and owes money.I also had a call from someone's partner who claimed they were with my son asking me to put money into his account.I don't know how the system works and haven't been able to get answers or information when I've called the prison.My dilemma is do I deposit the money or will this be the 1st of many times I'm asked to deposit money.I've heard drugs are readily accessible in prison.Thanks for listening.I just don't know what to think or what to do

yvngxbludgwm BPD + OTHER RUINING LIFE?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am 16, misdiagnosed up until 2019. I have C-PTSD, ADHD, CHRONIC ANXIETY, BPRD AND BIPOLAR DISORDER. My family abandoned me and I am finding it hard to even do things I used to love, has anyone found a way out of this before...

Hi, I am 16, misdiagnosed up until 2019. I have C-PTSD, ADHD, CHRONIC ANXIETY, BPRD AND BIPOLAR DISORDER. My family abandoned me and I am finding it hard to even do things I used to love, has anyone found a way out of this before...

jd2345 Pervasive negatives emotions.
  • replies: 1

Despite doing better for myself, I've been medication free for almost two years now. I've also moved out of my parent's household, which has been a life saver.I still very often feel many negative emotions when given space to think. All the shame, an... View more

Despite doing better for myself, I've been medication free for almost two years now. I've also moved out of my parent's household, which has been a life saver.I still very often feel many negative emotions when given space to think. All the shame, anger and sadness paralyses me and I get stuck in loops for hours to days at a time.I wonder if this is okay considering my circumstances. I've been traumatised multiple times throughout my childhood and teen years. I was bullied a lot in school both by peers and a teacher. Parents were stressed and could never communicate well when it came to emotions. I was medicated for most of my life, which numbed my emotions and as a result never allowed me to process traumas and emotions for a decade.Nowadays, I keep myself busy by going to mental health groups, socialising with the help of a support worker and will soon be volunteering at a community garden. Despite the objective improvement of my life, I am still bitter and in despair.Maybe I'm just grieving everything I need to grieve. But I have very strong emotions about the world I live in. Maybe I am disillusioned, or perhaps even just deluded. I could just feel powerless, I'm a bit unsure.

Peppermintbach Sad musings
  • replies: 1348

Hi everyone, I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as thou... View more

Hi everyone, I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall... I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why. Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration). All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets. Pepper

anon_1475 bpd new diagnosis
  • replies: 1

recently diagnosed w bpd. it all makes sense and feels validating but i’m scared of the stigma. i’ve even noticed my bf has withdrawn since i told him about it

recently diagnosed w bpd. it all makes sense and feels validating but i’m scared of the stigma. i’ve even noticed my bf has withdrawn since i told him about it

Flyingsolo-_ Lost
  • replies: 1

54, care for my mum (85) no friends, and the few I have don't want to listen to Me. All I get is "it will pass", your doing great! . No one has the time to listen without judgement. Yes I often wish I wasn't around. I take risk with medication and al... View more

54, care for my mum (85) no friends, and the few I have don't want to listen to Me. All I get is "it will pass", your doing great! . No one has the time to listen without judgement. Yes I often wish I wasn't around. I take risk with medication and alcohol, but still wake up in the morning. I guess bc I can't do this to my mum I try and keep myself busy, however injuries from the ADF has limitations. I've stopped eating as im no longer hungry, dont even think about food. I've got my ph on DND as im not interacting with anyone. Yes I do see my Dr and shrink frequently and to no avail to be honest. I'm not even sure if this will even work. I've got family friends passing away around me and I dont get a chance to grieve. They say put your mum into respite, but my pride won't allow that. I have no family members to rely upon, as they are dealing with there own issue's.

Unbeliever Is depression a natural reaction to an insane world?
  • replies: 253

This is a thought I have been pondering for a while. The default to view depression as "something wrong", or a "brain chemical imbalance" or as "a disease" or something that "needs to be fixed" or requires "medication" or "therapy" appears to be the ... View more

This is a thought I have been pondering for a while. The default to view depression as "something wrong", or a "brain chemical imbalance" or as "a disease" or something that "needs to be fixed" or requires "medication" or "therapy" appears to be the most common response of practically everyone. From doctors, to psychiatrists, to therapists, to the general population, to the depressed individuals themselves... the universal belief appears to be that "the person needs to get help". But what if... the living in depressed state is correct? What if it isn't an "imbalance" or isn't something "wrong"? What if being depressed is the only natural state to be in for an intelligent, empathetic, compassionate, informed, thinking individual to exist in the current state of our world? What if to NOT be depressed about is the true indication of mental sickness? I'm not saying that being depressed is fun in any way... most people on this forum would be well aware that it sucks. But that is not what I'm saying. What I mean is... could existing in a state of depression be completely natural for someone living in a place where so many things are obviously terrible... both on a personal level and in the world as a whole? My reasons for this perspective are numerous. Far too many to write in only 2500 words. But basically... The real world is an extremely depressing place for any person that cares at all about anything outside of themselves. Eg. If you care about animals... the reality is many beautiful species are already lost forever, many others are so close to the verge of extinction that even if everyone worldwide decided to do everything they could to save them... they would still be lost. At home there are people that still buy people animals as christmas gifts, refuse to desex their pets, the massive amount of pets put down in pounds annually. There is backyard animal cruelty, the dog racing industry using live bait, shooting race horses with legs, women's hormonal treatments for menapause, the meat industry, birds choking on our plastic half a world away, overfishing. The list goes on and on. It is reality and it is depressing. Care about animals and feeling "depressed" about it IS correct. And that is one tiny subject in a plethora of subjects. 3 billion people in starving poverty, the water wars, religious fanatics, corrupt governments, womens rights violations, slavery, wars, child rape, etc etc It's the people that are not depressed that worry me.

Canyoufeelit Hey I'm Dave
  • replies: 1

you can't get angry once you have died inside.. your mask becomes an emotionless zombie face.. and you should by now now how to pull yourself in and out of deep psychosis .. just remember with the loss of happiness , you lose anger and fear.. you can... View more

you can't get angry once you have died inside.. your mask becomes an emotionless zombie face.. and you should by now now how to pull yourself in and out of deep psychosis .. just remember with the loss of happiness , you lose anger and fear.. you can follow the psychosis deep ..once you can see what others only see in nightmares .and shrug it off . You see why some poor men and women can't keep fighting.. know one knows what's real...perception is each to there own.. maybe the doctor who tries to crack into your thoughts is the crazy one... He just doesn't know it.. .life is what U make it.. and I dropped mine, in the sand , then it got rained on and a dog shat on it!!. But somehow I fluked having an amazing son.. so I got backup to fight my demon's.and a reason for hope and the power that love gives. And I think that's life's golden nugget..