Long-term support over the journey

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BeyondBlue Welcome, read this if it's your first time here !
  • replies: 0

Hey there This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and suporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey... View more

Hey there This section is where you can find many of the longer conversations that are happening on the Forums. It is a special place for people who have been sharing and suporting each other for years. We know that our mental health can be a journey with ups and downs. Take a look through these longer conversations and you can see how supportive, validating and kind this community can be. It can be tricky to join an ongoing conversation but please feel free to contribute. You are the expert in what has worked for you and what you are living with. We want to hear it and these wonderful discussions are only ever richer for what you can add. There are a few tips for this section of the Forums that might be helpful Have a good read. These are long and in-depth conversations so before you step in, have a read of a few posts to get a sense of the space. It is not a great spot for New Topics. Comments are very welcome, but if you want to start something fresh try another section of the Forums. Thanks for your understanding, we want to hear what you think of these conversations and look forward to your contibutions. Thanks Beyond Blue

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Philomens Lost
  • replies: 4

My son is in jail this is his second time committed a crime while on parole went back to using drugs. The first time he went to jail broke our hearts he is a beautiful person but drugs have taken a hold of him. The first time he served just over a ye... View more

My son is in jail this is his second time committed a crime while on parole went back to using drugs. The first time he went to jail broke our hearts he is a beautiful person but drugs have taken a hold of him. The first time he served just over a year and got home detention with us very hard time for all then he went back to old ways. Prison just seems to be a revolving door he had family so no help. He behaves in jail this time he has a partner but it is now Rocky. Seeing him breaks our hearts phone calls is emptiness. He needs help in there to why he turns to drugs when he is out? Lost on how to help he can’t see what he is doing to his girlfriend or his family as he thinks he has got it hard We didn’t put him there and we will always be there but how do we help? Feel so empty and lost?

Dec2023 Need perspective on jail
  • replies: 3

I’m facing jail time, likely years. I’m innocent, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to prove I am. I have a family who I support, but if I go to jail it will destroy their lives. They will suffer as much as me. Has anyone else been through this? How did ... View more

I’m facing jail time, likely years. I’m innocent, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to prove I am. I have a family who I support, but if I go to jail it will destroy their lives. They will suffer as much as me. Has anyone else been through this? How did you cope in jail? What was life like afterwards? How did you pick up the pieces? Did your kids forgive you?

lostmale Confused and Lost
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m a male in my early 30’s. Since the both of my son just over 2 years ago I have really struggles with anxiety and depression. I’ve been going to a therapist which has been helpful and I’m now medicated which has eliminated the depression I was... View more

Hi, I’m a male in my early 30’s. Since the both of my son just over 2 years ago I have really struggles with anxiety and depression. I’ve been going to a therapist which has been helpful and I’m now medicated which has eliminated the depression I was dealing with. The anxiety though is a lot to handle! I have worked out that through my life I have always had anxiety but had worked out coping strategies along the way to pretty much hide it from everyone including myself. The birth of a child has made it pretty much impossible for me to mange my anxiety, as soon as something goes into chaos/get disrupted my anxiety spirals out of control. I shut down and zone out of what’s happening around me. This happens almost daily and has left me thinking as I ever going to be able to cope with having a family or am I better off leaving them to be without me? It’s been just over 2 years of me dealing with this on a daily bases and I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to live like this anymore… I love my family but the constant anxiety and not being happy is not how I want to live either. I don’t know where to turn to next, and with being just over 30 is this what’s install for the rest of my life? Anything people have to say is helpful, thanks!

Simona In so much pain because of mood swings (Schizoaffective).
  • replies: 1160

Hello. I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me. And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know what else to do. And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared Because i am in a very lowly way and i can o... View more

Hello. I never thought I would be posting here because being sad is just not me. And my psychologist is not responding and i don't know what else to do. And i know night time is coming again and I'm scared Because i am in a very lowly way and i can only manage short burst of sleep like naps. My head hurts so bad and i can't stop thinking. Strange sentences form in my head and roll on like those movie credits for HOURS. And last night i was ok for abit but come 4am i was mess and the headache was making me feel like i had to vomit but had nothing there. I have no appetite and I'm feeling the paranoia - Yesterday i cried. ranted. couldn't breathe properly. That went for4 hrs and I'm still exhausted from it I told partner please help me. I just kept repeating it and he kept walking away and then got angry and said "I'm sorry i don't know what to do OK!". I said please please take me to hospital because i don't want the children to see me like this and i'm so scared but he said no because he said they wouldn't let me out and that he needs to work so we can eat. Plus not to involve his parents so i must straighten myself up. I told him these thoughts I'm having are BAD. So far today I'm ok i think. I wish i didn't live so rural. I'm trying to relax. i don't think it's fair. A massage is not helping. Plus i have to listen to this machine gun noise because partner plays this war game Ps: i know i say things like i want to die but that's not true ok. I just want whatever is wrong with me to stop beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

K_Ley rollercoaster slowing down
  • replies: 1

these past two months have been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. From accepting that something wasn't right to seeking support, having my darkest days of my life, to now finally feeling that maybe I am slowing this journey down a bit so I can ... View more

these past two months have been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. From accepting that something wasn't right to seeking support, having my darkest days of my life, to now finally feeling that maybe I am slowing this journey down a bit so I can at least breathe. Presented to the local hospital last night as I didn't really know what else to do. I have been admitted for 3 days of observation and planning to get things under control. Have a session with a psychologist later this morning and a psychiatrist this afternoon to really assess where I am at and to put the right supports in place longer term. Realising that I am at a very dark place in my life has been hard to accept and deal with. I know now that I have a very long road ahead of me (and if that means years rather than months that's ok). As scary as that is I feel that I am finally on the right path to survive this journey.

shayne w Adult adhd
  • replies: 6

I was wondering how other adults who have been diagnosed in their early fifties like me, but probably have had adhd since childhood manage their condition ..? and what they have found to be the most challenging.?

I was wondering how other adults who have been diagnosed in their early fifties like me, but probably have had adhd since childhood manage their condition ..? and what they have found to be the most challenging.?

UnknownGuy It never gets better
  • replies: 1

All my life it has been a struggle, abused as a child, lived on the streets, never known love or been in a relationship but I kept fighting, I started work in hospitality but even that I had to work hard to get where I was and people constantly taken... View more

All my life it has been a struggle, abused as a child, lived on the streets, never known love or been in a relationship but I kept fighting, I started work in hospitality but even that I had to work hard to get where I was and people constantly taken advantage of my generosity but life was going fine then in 2019 I left my job after 11 years with the company I went traveling searching for something to make me happy and make my life meaningful, but after 3 months I returned back to Australia, drifting from one job to another then last year I had a heart attack which led to having a triple bypass after 5 weeks my boss said he prefer if I did not come back (he was concerned it could happen again) so I found another job but my employer was not happy with my work no matter how hard I tried so I returned back home, but I encountered the same problems as before, now nine jobs in 3 years later I am financially broke, about to lose my apartment because I can't afford rent, health is on the decline again and just got advised I now have skin cancer and anxiety as well as my teeth falling out, it's becoming all to hard, I am at the point where I am exhausted mentally from all of this and I often think I am past my due by date, I know I am a good person and my heart is in the right place but I can't talk to anyone about this because there is no one and no one seems to care anyway

HamSolo01 I just feel like i have no chance..
  • replies: 766

A bit of context: im 23, studying full time and i work a little bit on the side as a tutor. Ive been dealing with this crap for 4 years now and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. As a result of depression and social anxiety ive had no relationships... View more

A bit of context: im 23, studying full time and i work a little bit on the side as a tutor. Ive been dealing with this crap for 4 years now and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. As a result of depression and social anxiety ive had no relationships, no girlffriends, no sex, no nothing. Increasingly over time friends are starting up relationships and enjoying feeling desired. I tried tinder once, and actually met a girl who as it turned it out had a fair bit in common with me but because of my depression and anxieties i was a total mess. I screwed it up.. That was just over a year ago. I still haven't been able to get over it. It was the first time i had actually ever been on anything (even though she maintained it wasnt really a date). The only other time before that was with a girl i spoke to at uni and got friendly with. She was insane. Told me mental health wasnt even a thing.. then she just ignored me and that friendship ended in the dumps. I feel gross, less of a man and feel like i will just be on the scrap heap. Whats worse is that it just gets harder and harder as you get older. If i have another person tell me i must have it good because im a tall guy, relatively good looking (apparently i am according to some, yet i dont think so.. or else i wouldnt be failing so much) and that "the girls" must like me i may punch them in the face. It's warped too.. when people compliment you on your appearance your immediate response should not be anger... but if people actually knew the hurt and pain... i feeel like i should be out there... or else im just gonna regret my young years.. I just feel so alone. My depression has creeped up on me and my anxiety is through the roof. No use talking to my family.. they haven't learned anything. Im not going back to hospital. Its boring. It gets in the way. I feel like i dont belong there... Anyway. Feels a bit better to say that here.

Angie_2023 Rejected by workforce because of ADHD disability
  • replies: 6

In the last 5 years, I was really fighting for survival, by taking contract after contract with the government agencies in Canberra. With each contract ending because of ADHD or the treatment for ADHD. In my first agency after finding out that I coul... View more

In the last 5 years, I was really fighting for survival, by taking contract after contract with the government agencies in Canberra. With each contract ending because of ADHD or the treatment for ADHD. In my first agency after finding out that I could be on the ADHD medication, took out the incident form and run this among the team members to confirm they do not feel safe with me there. One women started reading aloud the question from the survey to humiliate me. In my next government agency I was working remotely, and one day out of the blue, the manager said that I was aggressive, because I made the comment about my private laptop not having enough of memory to handle the request. Soon after, she asked me to leave. After that I went back with contract to the Agency I was employed in the first contract, and I found that not only I am tagged as the ADHD medication user- they used the derogatory word, but Corporate Security were also saying that I am violent. I am middle aged women, and you could say many things about me, but violent is completely out of my character. I stayed with this agency for 9 months, but one day when working remotely we had a meeting online, and when closing my laptop, there was medication sitting there. The women who was all suspicious about me, because although I had a baseline clearance and WWVP card, there was rumours about alleged violence. She took the video to Security guys. I know that she took this video, because in my next contract, which I managed to organised as the previous had no hope for extension, I found that she provided this video to security. This contract was a nightmare. I do believe that manager, after finding out that I am suspect, has ordered police to spy on me, remotely and on my phone. The team members had a session of watching the video which has been sent by Dear friend from the previous work. They were going through all my personal records, medical records, dispute with my ex husband. They were talking about my income, saying that I done well for the past year, despite of the being an addict. One day, I had to run out of this place, because I was terrorised, humiliated and ostracised. At some point, I told manager that I know what they are doing and that I have the proof of them taking video of me remotely. She also realised that, all action of collecting evidence for police, could not be valid as with my status of person with disability, she would not be able to say I broke the law or code of conduct.

Flint80 Bipolar- hallelujah!
  • replies: 3

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I o... View more

So for years I have been diagnosed as depressed, a diagnosis which I have accepted, that is until recently. I would go to the GP, fill out the statutory mood form (how depressed have you been in the last two weeks) and given SSRIs. But never have I or the GP explored the other symptoms which as a result may have changed the diagnosis to bipolar? When I have bouts of depression it's not just depression but periods of highs which are on the same level as coming up on amphetamine ( yes I did it in my younger days), the feeling of immortality, greatness, grandiose racing thoughts wanting to do things that I don't usually do and I get really silly and talkative. These periods last for a few weeks at a time maybe a couple of times a year. One minute I am imagining I am the best looking guy in the world and everyone is looking at me, that I am going to be a world beater at my chosen sport ( which when it happens feels 100% real) to I am worthless, bored and contemplating or idealising suicide. The whole period adrenaline rushes through my body, weather it's feeding crippling anxiety or feeding my over inflated imagination. Throughout my life I have had these ' peroids' and they have worsened or lessened in severity depending on what triggers them or how my life is travelling in the moment. I have been delusional, thinking people are out to get me, get me sacked from my job or sabotage me in some way, paranoid to an extent I wouldnt go out of the house and hallucinated ( in my late teens, young adult hood). This was coupled with risky sexual behaviours, however I don't experience the latter as much now. Until I have really though about it, I have played down these feeling as normal and kind of ignored them when I am not in the moment. I have over the last year had a really difficult couple of episodes which have lasted approx 6 weeks each and habe been harder to cope with than in recent years. At the moment I am working with a psychologist, exploring the possibility of bipolar? I am not sure what I am really wanting to ask on this forum but, can someone please provide a clear sort of indication of what bipolar is, how many mania/ hypermania you typically experience in a year and does this period of mania/ hypermania also consist of depressive lows, obsessive thoughs, crazy anxiety as well as the highs? Any feedback or communication, information would be great to help me understand some of what's going on