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The effects of ghosting someone

 

My ex beat the shit out of me! He kicked me in the stomach on his dirty floor. It took me a year to to get over that and go on dates again. It always  starts out so lovely and sweet, texting before a date, great banter and  cute messages, they act like there into me but it’s all an act! after they get what they want they ghost and delete, cast me aside like I meant nothing to them. It’s taking a tole on my mental health. Each time I wonder why I wasn’t good enough for them- was it my body? am I too fat? They’ve seen my body and find it hideous. I’ve been going to the gym, and eating one meal a day! I’m obsessed with surgery before and afters, wondering if I got a nose job/ liposuction that if I was prettier maybe someone would treat me better. I just want to love someone, cook for them give massages and do fun things but I can’t find a single person! I can’t believe they can justify doing do this to someone when they know I have a kind heart! How can they be so cruel! Last year this has happened to me 5 times. If it happened again I feel like I just want end it- honestly! My heart can’t take it anymore 😞 please think about people before you leave another person wondering.

2 Replies 2

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear New Member~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here to the Forum. It is a good place to come to as you will see -if you look around - others who have been mistreated two.

 

If you are in any doubt about being mistreated talk with e councilors on 1800RESPECT and get thier views, they are the experts. NOBODY should e treated the way you have been.

 

You sond a lovely caring sensitive person, and have a lot to offer the right person.

 

I guess there are two hings that I'd like to say to you. The first is that you are falling into the same trap as many before you and blame yourself, wondering if your looks will make any difference, or if something else is wrong. Frankly it is not your looks but your sensitivity that makes you easy prey for a certain type of bully. They know how to take advantage of you and this leads down to horrible abuse.

 

The other tihng is at the moment you see cute messages, little attentions and all the rest as being attractive and a sign of affection. It's easy to think this -you have thought it before.

 

Instead see them as danger signals and run a mile. It is not presents and tokens that make for a good match, it is the kindness and empahty they consistently display to others that maters. They are out there and probably looking too.

 

May I ask if you have anyone to support you though these times? A family member or friend perhaps. Things can be easier wiht an ally who cares.

 

You know you are welcome here anytime

 

Croix

KT87
Community Member

I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you with your ex that is awful. Have you ever sought therapy to deal with that it sounds traumatic ? Also about the guys ghosting you how are you meeting these guys is it through dating apps because I used these for a bit and found it was full of douchebags. Perhaps you could try meeting guys through other means like interest groups / meetup groups? I don’t know your age because I know it can be super hard if your biological clock is ticking but I feel for me I met someone after I actually gave up looking for someone to date and just lived my life and looked for friends rather than partners .