Relationship and family issues

Confused, depressed and feel stuck

replies: 2

I’m really hoping I can find clarity and help here. Me and my partner have been together 6 years and have broken up twice in that time. I have a daughter who is 11 (different father) and he and I have a 2 year old son together. He is a beautiful man ... View more

I’m really hoping I can find clarity and help here. Me and my partner have been together 6 years and have broken up twice in that time. I have a daughter who is 11 (different father) and he and I have a 2 year old son together. He is a beautiful man and I know he would never hurt me physically but on the weekend we had a pretty big fight because I was standing up for my daughter and his response was “well if you don’t like it get out”… I’m still feeling really emotional and hurt by this statement as he knows I don’t have anywhere to go and no family ect. We have just gotten back together but we were still living and sleeping with each other while ‘broken up’. The plan was I was going to move out with the kids and was saving to do so. I just feel like no matter how much I save and no matter how much I do I’ll never have the money to move. I just had to transfer him $400 for half of the bills. I love him but mentally and emotionally I’m just done. I can’t afford the rent here on my own where we are ($500 a week) and really just want to be on my own in my own house. Not only do I need to save for the first 4 weeks rent, I need to buy a washing machine, bed and mattress for myself and down the track a dining table. I just feel really stuck and alone.

Partner can not cope with difficult times

replies: 2

I am 51 years old and went through a very sad and painful marriage and divorce around 5 years ago. I have two children - 18 and 16 and am a loving and devoted sole parent. Both kids gave me absolute hell after the divorce and I was sole parenting fro... View more

I am 51 years old and went through a very sad and painful marriage and divorce around 5 years ago. I have two children - 18 and 16 and am a loving and devoted sole parent. Both kids gave me absolute hell after the divorce and I was sole parenting from day 1 of the separation as their dad was too unstable. They were traumatised and rebellious but things are getting better with them and they are generally nice kids, working and going to school. I opened myself up to a relationship 4 years ago with a man who seemed strong and caring and kind. He had been through hell with his divorce and then the breakdown of a long term relationship. His children were grownup when we met but had their own severe teenage behavioural and trauma issues when he was raising them. His 25 year old is a domestic violence perpetrator and our lives are ocassionally upended in dealing with it, but I am supportive and motivated to help both of his children with love and compassion. We have had a wonderful relationship almost every day and we have a beautiful life, with so much in common. He has been my favourite person in the world and he moved in 8 months ago. But...when the going gets tough with my children (they are not the easiest of teens but nor are they particularly bad), he goes into complete meltdown mode and disappears. Literally. He moves out of our beautiful family home and goes and stays with a family member. He is severely and disproportionately angered by crappy teenage behaviour and says that he has been through his own teen dramas, teen dramas in his last relationship and can not deal with mine. I feel so unsupported and somewhat resentful - he knew I had children when we met. The dramas with my kids are few and far between, though they can be extremely rude and disrespectful. I feel so cheated that he forgets all of the wonderful things that we have when an "incident" happens, and moves out. He starts talking about breaking up, and it only adds to the stress of whatever teen incident I am dealing with. I am unintentionally making him sound like a bad person, 99% of the time he is amazing and gets on with my kids and my family and friends love him. I guess it makes it all the more difficult to know what to do about this situation I find myself in.

Struggling in life and marriage

replies: 2

Really struggling right now and wanted somewhere to share my story and ask for advice. I’ve suffered from mental health issues since I was 13, primarily depression and anxiety but may be something else. Pretty sure both parents have mental health con... View more

Really struggling right now and wanted somewhere to share my story and ask for advice. I’ve suffered from mental health issues since I was 13, primarily depression and anxiety but may be something else. Pretty sure both parents have mental health conditions as well but neither have acknowledged this and “don’t believe” in mental health. I recently opened up to them about struggling for 30 years and just got “well, we never noticed anything” in response. I’ve been with my wife for close to 15 years and moved to Australia with her. We have a 7 year old daughter, who I love deeply. I love my wife deeply too but we are on the verge of separation. My mental health and panic attacks have caused major ruptures in our relationship and she had said she can no longer live with my cycle of behaviour. I understand this and in the past six months I’ve tried to put myself in her shoes. It’s been very confronting but necessary and I can only imagine how hard it is. She has called it a form of emotional abuse and I find it hard to disagree. It’s never been intentional but I can now see how draining and exhausting it must be for her. I’ve been on a renewed drive to try to really fix myself once and for all, but it’s been hard. My wife isn’t convinced about my therapist and still I get anxious easily. But I’m finding it tough and old habits die hard, and this weekend I had a massive panic attack over something stupid. I understand why the panic attack happened and what I can do in the future. my wife has had enough, and I feel I’m about to lose every part of my family. I’m trying so far but I know with ease lapse it drives a further wedge between us. I am devastated even if I know why. I’m also feeling desperately alone. I don’t have any close friends in Australia, no hope of talking to my idea, and I have no idea what to do next. any thoughts of advice are really appreciated.

Ex-partner is abusing my trauma to keep me out of our child’s life.

replies: 13

So for a little bit of context, I had a mental episode where I’ve disassociated and hurt my at the time partner. Immediately afterwards she had me arrested and a DVO was put in place. Since hen I’ve been doing everything I can to get some sort of dia... View more

So for a little bit of context, I had a mental episode where I’ve disassociated and hurt my at the time partner. Immediately afterwards she had me arrested and a DVO was put in place. Since hen I’ve been doing everything I can to get some sort of diagnosis and to try and make things right between myself, her and the few witnesses that were there, admittedly I pushed too hard but didn’t breach the DVO.But she seems to be taking advantage of this and is now constantly threatening to report me to the police. It seems to me that she’s wanted to end the relationship for a long time coming but the way she’s going about keeping us seperate is affecting both my ability to see my daughter and my sense of self.Ive spent damn near every day of the last 5 years of my life with this woman and she’s not only tossed me like a piece of rubbish, but she’s doing everything to try and burn my bridges to the world.Shes gone on such an offensive track that for a brief period just about every friend of mine turned on me and she’s had HER friends abuse me online. at this point I just wanna get my stuff outta the house and set up mandatory visitation rights but I’m that afraid of the legal system that any time I look into legal advice I can feel myself disconnect momentarily. i just want to see my baby girl again.

How to keep going

replies: 3

Been married for 13 years with a happy daughter of 4 yo, it may appear that I have a happy life but I found myself struggling.My wife and I met in uni like 17 years ago. Our relationship started and went well and we had so much happy memories.A few y... View more

Been married for 13 years with a happy daughter of 4 yo, it may appear that I have a happy life but I found myself struggling.My wife and I met in uni like 17 years ago. Our relationship started and went well and we had so much happy memories.A few years back we decided to have a child and things started to have a down turn, at least from what I feel.We had a very tough pregnancy. She had a complication and had nausea for whole 9 months until birth. We lived through it, I cooked every day with a white list of food she can eat. I don't expect much appreciation as I understand that she feels traumatized just by thinking about that period of time.Then baby came out, a lovely yet very demanding one. Cried all night for breast feed and mother had to stay up a lot. We lived though it but did not know how as we were both half sleepy.Then sleep get better but the child is mentally demanding. I work full time in demanding project, the minute after work I had to jump back to bay sitting, or preparing meal if she is away at work. Then my brain keeps busy until 10 to 11, which unfortunately is my child's sleep time.After that I don't feel like doing anything or thinking about anything. I just want to stop and get detached from the real world and get by.My wife has got a mild ADHD. Not sure if it's a blessing at a start as she is performing, has a big bandwidth and very capable, but recently does not look like blessing any more.A example is on spending time and energy planning for my child. I like spending time with my child. We have very good relationship and do a lot of things together. I don't think a lot need to be thought / planned as we just need to give my child the conditions and make her go her own way. However my wife keeps saying I am not doing parenting but just doing baby sitting, as she plans everything (finance, schooling plan, even food choice) very very thoroughly and carefully about everything and expects me to do the same.Recently she more and more criticize me for things I don't do up to her expectations or did not do 100% well. There is no positive conversation for most of evening. It almost feels like I am belittled and I feel worthless sometimes. Sex is out of question for a few months already as either I or her are so tired in late night.I don't want to find excuses to blame her as what she does seems beneficial for the family. However I don't seem to be able to catch up with her and I struggle a lot even to understand why she does things this way, as she is fifty steps ahead. On the other hand though, I don't think her attitude is right but I don't know how to let her know my situation and feelings.I am very tired to finish all I need to do and to give myself some relaxation in the mean time.I am nervous that what happens if I drop the ball (small or big) and afraid how mad my unforgiving wife will become.I struggle to see through, to understand what she wants and to make her happy, or even know whether it is possible to keep her happy with the me right now.Not sure anyone has this kind of experience but words of help / comfort would be very much appreciated.Thanks!

Controlling partner now has a serious neurological disorder.

replies: 14

I have mentioned about my controlling partner who is wonderful to everyone and to me about half the time.He has just been diagnosed with a neurological disorder .He was angry as I was away when he got the news and then hung up on me as I offered some... View more

I have mentioned about my controlling partner who is wonderful to everyone and to me about half the time.He has just been diagnosed with a neurological disorder .He was angry as I was away when he got the news and then hung up on me as I offered some practical advice. I wonder how people cope with a controlling partner who is unwell and will get worse.I want to care for him but am not sure my mental health can stand the stress of his anger and criticism. I would like to start a discussion on this topic.

Sisters psychologist diagnosed me

replies: 1

A psychologist my sister saw told my sister I am coercively controlling. I looked up this term & I am none of the symptoms mentioned. I advised my sister to look it up where she seemed surprised, but still believed the professional who told her this ... View more

A psychologist my sister saw told my sister I am coercively controlling. I looked up this term & I am none of the symptoms mentioned. I advised my sister to look it up where she seemed surprised, but still believed the professional who told her this about me. I spoke to my psychologist of 12+ years about it, and she said no you are not that. And also that psychologists should not be giving out diagnoses of others without seeing them & hearing all sides. It caused quite a rift between my sister & I, and we are now sadly estranged. Can I make a complaint about this psychologist? Granted things were not perfect between us, but this certainly set the tone of further negativity & distance between my sister & I.

Husband cheated with sex worker

replies: 3

With my husband for 16 years, married for 13 The last few years have been challenging as I feel he has just not cared about me as much and it has greatly affected our sex life, we have been arguing about petty stuff that makes me resent him. I have r... View more

With my husband for 16 years, married for 13 The last few years have been challenging as I feel he has just not cared about me as much and it has greatly affected our sex life, we have been arguing about petty stuff that makes me resent him. I have recently had time off work due to a traumatic incident and longer term work stress (several years) which has likely contributed to our relationship challenges and have gotten great support from a psychologist and have felt less stressed and felt our marriage has been going good with an improved sex life and he has also commented on thisi have just returned from a trip overseas to visit family and on return yesterday found suspicious bank ac activity and uber receipts and after some digging have found my husband has been to massage parlors twice whilst I was away, the night I left, and most recently the night before I got home. He has only admitted to the most recent saying he was drunk, doesn’t remember and “doesn’t think he had sex” just a massage and 2 “happy endings” but that cannot explain the late night $1300 bank withdrawals. My friend is suspicious he may have spent money on drugs aswell which would also be shocking. I only later realized about the first occasion and he has not answered my questions about that timeI have been hysterically upset Its all very raw <24hours He is very cold about it all and I have asked him to stay elsewhere I just cannot stop crying and have not eaten anything in 24 hours I have so many thoughts self blame, am I that bad, guilt, concern for his wellbeing (sounds crazy I know) where will I live, do I move back overseas, scheduling std testing, what do I tell people, what will he tell people -likely that I was an awful wife, how do I begin to navigate this??? He was my best friend and my world and I never would have thought he would betray me in this way.

How Escape Forceful marriage

replies: 13

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m going through an extremely difficult and painful situation, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. My family is forcing me into a marriage I never chose or wanted. This marriage was arranged when I was ... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m going through an extremely difficult and painful situation, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. My family is forcing me into a marriage I never chose or wanted. This marriage was arranged when I was just a one-year-old child, long before I could have any say or understanding. Now, as an adult, they expect me to accept it without question—as if I have no right to decide my own future.They keep telling me that it’s about “family honor” and that refusing the marriage will bring shame not only on me but on everyone in my family. They say I must comply for the sake of our family’s reputation. But this pressure is suffocating me. I feel like I’m losing control over my own life, my own freedom, and my happiness. I am scared and overwhelmed.What frightens me the most is the threats I’ve been receiving if I say no. They have warned me that I would become a “threat” to the family, and though they haven’t said exactly what that means, I am terrified of the consequences. These threats make me feel unsafe in my own home, and I don’t know who I can trust.This situation has taken a huge toll on my mental health. I have been having very dark and troubling thoughts, some of which scare me deeply because they feel like a threat to my own life. I feel trapped, isolated, and desperate for support. I want to live a life with dignity, freedom, and peace—not one ruled by fear and coercion.If anyone has been through something similar, or if you know of any organizations, resources, or advice that could help me navigate this, please share. I am desperate to find a way out or at least to find support and hope.Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Your kindness means more than I can express.

Heartbroken

replies: 5

Hi all, I have suffered from major depression since the birth of my son 11 years ago. Approx 18 months ago I found out my partner of 13 years had been having an affair for 4 years ( the reason I found out was because she was pregnant, she did not pro... View more

Hi all, I have suffered from major depression since the birth of my son 11 years ago. Approx 18 months ago I found out my partner of 13 years had been having an affair for 4 years ( the reason I found out was because she was pregnant, she did not proceed with pregnancy ) our relationship had turned in to room mates however I turned a blind eye and was happy to just be in a relationship with him and to be living as a family. We spent 2024 living separately but trying to repair our relationship, I thought this was going well. We came back together at the end of last year and everything seemed good I had forgiven him we were no longer in the roommate phase. Then in Feb he mentioned that he could not move past the guilt, towards me, towards her and to the unborn child. At that point I decided that this relationship was no longer capable of being saved. He didn’t put up any protest and we have be apart since April. I am desperately sad, my anxiety is out of control and I find myself consumed with nothing but thoughts of him and how did I get here. Hopefully there are others who have come out the other side and can share some tips on how they have managed that. We currently co parent our son 50/50 so I see him multiple times a week and find myself asking him questions about his life, telling him I miss him etc.

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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All discussions

Confused, depressed and feel stuck

replies: 2

Partner can not cope with difficult times

replies: 2

Struggling in life and marriage

replies: 2

Ex-partner is abusing my trauma to keep me out of our child’s life.

replies: 13

How to keep going

replies: 3

Controlling partner now has a serious neurological disorder.

replies: 14

Sisters psychologist diagnosed me

replies: 1

Husband cheated with sex worker

replies: 3

How Escape Forceful marriage

replies: 13

Heartbroken

replies: 5

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Confused, depressed and feel stuck replies: 2

Partner can not cope with difficult times replies: 2

Struggling in life and marriage replies: 2

Ex-partner is abusing my trauma to keep me out of our child’s life. replies: 13

How to keep going replies: 3

Controlling partner now has a serious neurological disorder. replies: 14

Sisters psychologist diagnosed me replies: 1

Husband cheated with sex worker replies: 3

How Escape Forceful marriage replies: 13

Heartbroken replies: 5

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Confused, depressed and feel stuck

replies: 2

Partner can not cope with difficult times

replies: 2

Struggling in life and marriage

replies: 2

Ex-partner is abusing my trauma to keep me out of our child’s life.

replies: 13

How to keep going

replies: 3

Controlling partner now has a serious neurological disorder.

replies: 14

Sisters psychologist diagnosed me

replies: 1

Husband cheated with sex worker

replies: 3

How Escape Forceful marriage

replies: 13

Heartbroken

replies: 5