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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Sunday01 Rejection by group of friends
  • replies: 7

I had an very close group of women friends that I loved dearly and saw every week for nearly 4 years. I had been getting the feeling that I wasn't as welcome as I used to be but thought I had been imagining it. Things came to a head a few weeks ago a... View more

I had an very close group of women friends that I loved dearly and saw every week for nearly 4 years. I had been getting the feeling that I wasn't as welcome as I used to be but thought I had been imagining it. Things came to a head a few weeks ago and I felt that I needed to ask if everything was ok. So I did. To cut a long story short the answer was that they didn't like my personality anymore. Even though they said I was a kind and giving person it seems they had enough of me. These friends have been there as fantastic friends and support as they know things can get tough for me as all of my family have mental illness. These women were the very last people I thought would behave like this. i am really struggling to come to terms with this as I didn't think I'd be dealing with this in my late forties. It feels like intense grief like someone has died and I can't seem to get things straight in my head. The feeling of loss is huge and I can't for the life of me understand what happened. The feelings are starting to impact other areas of my life. I am trying very hard to move on and remain positive but I cant

v9019509 Lost and stuck all at once and its getting worse
  • replies: 3

Hi, New to this. First time i have reached out so not sure how to word whats happening but will give it a go thanks to a friend who persuaded me its a good idea. I am unhappily married which has got worse over the past few years after meeting a woman... View more

Hi, New to this. First time i have reached out so not sure how to word whats happening but will give it a go thanks to a friend who persuaded me its a good idea. I am unhappily married which has got worse over the past few years after meeting a woman online. We talk message multiple times a day and she is also married. She has a few issues mentally and sometimes cant cope with what we have which by the way is the strongest feelings i have ever felt for anyone. It goes horribly wrong for a few days then she comes round and we are great again. She is close to being able to get away from her husband (long story) and i love her to bits and she is all i want. Recently we have just had a big fall out over this taking too long, her not being right for me due to her depression and mental issues but i keep telling her til i'm blue on the face i want her but not sure she is listening. Dont know if she is scared or just doesnt want me anymore. Make me feel worthless and all along i'm playing happy families with my wife who loves me. I want to be with my online girl but we havent even met as she wont meet til she has moved on from her partner. complicated i know and more to it. This is the gist but i just feel stuck. I want to be with this girl. she is my true love i feel even tough we havent met. she wont meet me and now its in jeopardy of not happening at all when she is in her moods where she feels like we will never be. I just dont know what to do. Christmas is approaching. Dont want to be with my wife a minute longer. Dont want to leave for someone who doesnt want me. Dont know what to do.

anx_b_gone Dealing with (hopefully) temporary separation
  • replies: 3

My wife (30) of 2 years recently told me (27) she isn't sure about our marriage anymore. She feels she was influenced by her family, and does not feel romantically attracted to me anymore. After trying for the past 6 weeks she has decided that she ne... View more

My wife (30) of 2 years recently told me (27) she isn't sure about our marriage anymore. She feels she was influenced by her family, and does not feel romantically attracted to me anymore. After trying for the past 6 weeks she has decided that she needs to live elsewhere to find herself and determine if I and our marriage are a part of her future. We have had some really stressful moments this year through finishing studies whilst working, and I feel that there could be some depression signs causing her to feel like this. I guess I am struggling with a few aspects: - how do I cope with my anxiety during this period, living at home by myself and what can I do to not dwell on everything so much - how do I live in limbo, how do I determine what it is that I want, and how long do I let this go for - what should I do in this period to ensure that I am not driving her further away from me We have agreed on boundaries at the moment, but I am scared she will want to recreate these in the future with the possibility of seeing other people during this time. I just don't know if I could live with her doing this, but at the same time I love her that much that I want whatever to happen for us to be together in the future and to work on this marriage.

Robert2 walked out on wife and 2 kids last Sunday
  • replies: 22

Hi walked out on wife and 2 kids last Sunday have seen different councillor for last 2 years always getting told by wife I am worst than before going.was trying to be the man she wanted. Only thing I could do was to walk away. thi is not what I wante... View more

Hi walked out on wife and 2 kids last Sunday have seen different councillor for last 2 years always getting told by wife I am worst than before going.was trying to be the man she wanted. Only thing I could do was to walk away. thi is not what I wanted but felt I had to leave I have given up jobs for her to succeed even moved to far north qld for her job.there is not much up here in support either so I am hoping to get some sound advice from here.

Nothing_left1 Frightened for my granddaughters.
  • replies: 2

My son has manic depression, anxiety, paranoia, and is narcissistic. Twelve months ago, he packed up his family, wife and two daughters, and moved out of state. One granddaughter is very ill, and was hospitalised this year. I was not told this had ha... View more

My son has manic depression, anxiety, paranoia, and is narcissistic. Twelve months ago, he packed up his family, wife and two daughters, and moved out of state. One granddaughter is very ill, and was hospitalised this year. I was not told this had happened, or allowed to go and see her after I found out from friends. If I send and email, asking to have contact, I receive back abusive emails. I am so concerned about the girls welfare, but do not know what to do.

cam117 starting again after bad break up
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. I just wanted some advice or anything you could recommend for getting back into dating. The last girl i was with kinda destroyed my confidence and charisma. I havent been alone with a girl in months out of fear of betrayal and other negativ... View more

Hey guys. I just wanted some advice or anything you could recommend for getting back into dating. The last girl i was with kinda destroyed my confidence and charisma. I havent been alone with a girl in months out of fear of betrayal and other negative blocks. I have anxiety around the idea that i am no longer good enough. Or that there are other ulterior motives. Im suspicious of everything... i want and need to know i can start again when and if im ready. Preferably asap. I would just like to know if anyone can relate and how you fixed it or work around the issue. A very massive thank you in advance! Cheers guys!

marshmallow Partner left, is it me??
  • replies: 1

Hello, I have been head over heels in love for 4 years, we have lived together for 3. Depression is in his family. This past year he didn't get into medical school, had trouble getting a job, and was communting 3 hrs/day to work when he lived with me... View more

Hello, I have been head over heels in love for 4 years, we have lived together for 3. Depression is in his family. This past year he didn't get into medical school, had trouble getting a job, and was communting 3 hrs/day to work when he lived with me. He has for years needed constant change, constant excitement to be happy and to not succumb to the routines that are life. I love travelling, planning etc. so in reality I was helpful for providing this to him. I have never once questioned our relationship. I am an extremely loving, caring person and we have so much fun together. We are honestly so happy together. My one big flaw it is this: I possibly love him too much? I want to spend time together and have trouble with being okay being alone.. Although I have gotten immensely better. When he is out with the guys I like to text and hear from him. This doesn't even happen often (maybe 5x/year? We also often go out together) but when it does it always has bothered him. His mother was a worryier as he grew up, and he dislikes that I worry and want to hear from him. He enjoys a night of heavy drinking with the guys, with no requirement to text. I see why I need to get better, give him space, I really do ... 3 weeks ago we talked about marriage, and he said he can not commit to me because he needs constant change in life, and the marriage commitment is too much. Such a hard thing to hear when you love someone so much and now feel like they are saying one day you won't be good enough. After this talk he said he is very unhappy and feels depressed ... I suspected he was off but this was the first time he said it. After that day he became more visibly down around me.. And I became more present, trying so hard I help... he started going out drinking with new younger work friends, he has been more distant from me.. but not always, we still had great fun nights throughout those three weeks. He also told me he is only happy when he is drinking... He still hides it so much, he has such a happy exterior no one would ever know. 1 week ago he moved out to his parents home. He also started meds.. Did I do this... Or contribute? Stress is a trigger for major depressive episodes.. Would healthy relationships break up over the texting issue, or talk about it and work on, especially given how many GREAT things we share and love about each other .. Ifeel like I tipped his depressive state. If I'd been better (given him his unrestricted boys nights) would he still be here?

Pickles_McFadeyen Am I in the right place?
  • replies: 18

Hi everyone, my name is Nicole. I am 40 yrs old, with a loving husband of 20 years, and two gorgeous boys 15 & 7. I was adopted when I was 3 weeks old, to the most wonderful parents one could ask for, however, when I turned 40, I had an epiphany, and... View more

Hi everyone, my name is Nicole. I am 40 yrs old, with a loving husband of 20 years, and two gorgeous boys 15 & 7. I was adopted when I was 3 weeks old, to the most wonderful parents one could ask for, however, when I turned 40, I had an epiphany, and decided to start the search for my natural parents. I soon discovered that they had both passed away, which was an overwhelming feeling of grief for two people I didn't even know. To add to this, I also discovered that I have two older brothers, one of which doesn't want any contact with me, which is confusing and upsetting. I am yet to make contact with the eldest brother, which is a main reason why I'm having anxious feelings. Aside from the fact that my birth mother, gave birth to me, and never tried to find me, ever in her life. That does my head in the most. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety or depression, although there are times when I do feel both on a daily basis. My husband suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, from abuse when he was a child, that has never been officially diagnosed either, so I am familiar with the feelings. He now feels extremely emotional when I talk to him about my birth situation, to the point where, I feel I can't talk to him about it anymore. Add to that, one of our sons, may have ADD, financial stress, and self medication with alcohol, and that's me! On the most part, I am a happy person, who is very grateful for everything in my life. I am not sure if I have come to the right place. Sorry for writing an essay! xoxo

Sue15 Moving on from controlling, jealous husband
  • replies: 7

New to beyondblue, hope this finds you all well. quick run down of my main struggle. I have been marriaged for 21 years and have two teenage daughters. I knew from the beginning that my husband was very controlling and jealous. Surely this would chan... View more

New to beyondblue, hope this finds you all well. quick run down of my main struggle. I have been marriaged for 21 years and have two teenage daughters. I knew from the beginning that my husband was very controlling and jealous. Surely this would change with love and time! Silly me last 10 years have been hell. I was no allowed friends and regardless of what job I had he never approved of it. I have no family as they all live overseas. Thank god for Skype:) i have now realised he is a narcissist with violent tendencies. so, I have fought severe depression for many years. I'm on good meds and most days was worth living. But..... approx 7 years ago he 'joined' a group of 'bike riding people' and life as I and the kids knew it disappeared. before long drugs was a daily visitor, and for days sometime weeks he was away on the road. He lost his job to cut downs, and now he was fully absorbed by this group. This group does not allow women/wife's to obtain any info or have a say in what's going on. Suited my husband perfect! well, due to group related crime he got arrested early this year and it looks like he will spend a long long time in jail. I SHOULD BE SO HAPPY, but I'm not! i am so broken, so lost, so scared and so so tired. I've got my GP in my corner along with my head doc. I'm not alone, I know but... where do I find support to move forward? To not cry my self asleep? Someone to hold MY hand. I get plenty of compliments from a large range of people on how strong I am, how independent I am. I'm an inspiration to others and so forth. My kids are suffering, I'm numb on the inside, where is my support? Where can I find it? please help sue15

GRob Help please
  • replies: 4

Hi I need to talk to someone. I'm going through a relationship breakdown and not handling it well. Thankyou

Hi I need to talk to someone. I'm going through a relationship breakdown and not handling it well. Thankyou

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