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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Coco_Channel There is HOPE.🐞 Even if you cant see it right now🐞
  • replies: 1

Hello I am new to this form..Well as my sleeping disorder governed by my depression & aniety keeps me up at this time of the morning,I am reading the form posts and every box is ticked when reading the many stories of others, I realize I am not alone... View more

Hello I am new to this form..Well as my sleeping disorder governed by my depression & aniety keeps me up at this time of the morning,I am reading the form posts and every box is ticked when reading the many stories of others, I realize I am not alone.I too have called in sick and not gone to work and felt all the guilt that goes with that territory, I too have lost endless jobs that would of lead to a rewarding career, I took have been unable to hold a relationship,I too have wanted to stay under the covers for days on end,I too have hidden how I really was feeling,I too have been bullied because of my illness.I ask so many times over,how do you get over being robbed of your childhood by parents that looked after their own ego and married you at such an early age. When all that you wanted to do was study and practice Law-Your cousin did- you missed out How do you get over been abused in that marriage in every aspect imaginable-12 years later you are now divorced with a 3 month old son.you are disowned by family..Now you begin the long journey to find your place in the world only to find you cant.You try to fit in the workplace,it seems impossible you stagger through the next 15 years.OK so your settled..a lot of up;s and down;s emotionally and physically..but you get by..then hold on.your ready to forgive family your in a good place...enrolled as a mature age student and want to study Law, about to begin the journey you so wanted to do at 16 yrs of age,,pick up where life brutally robbed you of your goals, your in control now....oh that's right you forgave family they now need your help because they are about to lose their home...you are not realizing it yet, but again been robbed of your goal. being pressured by family ,only to find your self in the mist of a huge legal mess, fighting their court battles, paying the families legal costs,great results short term, they keep their home.You take on their mortgage ,made verbal promises that they will up keep it.Only to find your self 3 years later, in courts VCAT through High Court,self represented, this stage legal team has let you down, no money,no help. Because the family did not pay the mortgage from day 1.The family blames you.You keep trying to fight for the truth..no avail ..you have lost everything due to the financial loss that was suffered during the legal fight to keep your family home. How does one view the world you ask.There are good days,there are bad days.but don't give up.there is hope.

Digger7878 I struggle to see anything good to come..
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I feel my life started on it's downhill run close to 3 years ago when my Dad suffered a major stroke and heart attack and was then diagnosed with a rare thyroid cancer. My Family and I were told by the Doctor on a scale of 1-20. 1 being g... View more

Hi everyone,I feel my life started on it's downhill run close to 3 years ago when my Dad suffered a major stroke and heart attack and was then diagnosed with a rare thyroid cancer. My Family and I were told by the Doctor on a scale of 1-20. 1 being good and 20 being bad. It was a 20. The cancer took my Dad from me and my family in 4 months. He passed away 3 hours after my birthday as I slept on the floor next to his bed. during these 4 months my Nanna (my dad's mum) also passed away.i went to the hospital and hospice every night and couldn't leave until my Dad was asleep because I didn't want him to feel alone. full time job at 10 hrs a day plus weekends.Wake up next day, and repeat! i then turned to substance abuse to escape the reality of my life which quickly turned into a need just to be able to function normally. None of my friends or family are aware of my addictions. I feel quite ashamed of myself and embarrassed.Exactly to the day 1 year later my Mum was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with Cancer. She underwent massive operations and spent weeks in intensive care.during this time my Grandma (my Mum's Mother) passed away.and also during this time I was given no choice but to have my beautiful dog Lucy put down as she had kidney and liver problems. she was my best mate.my partner who I have been with now for about 4 years now suffers from some mental health. We had some HUGE arguments which would involve her hurling abuse at me about how my family operates, her frustrations with it, and everything and anything I was doing wrong or not good enough. There were times I would come home from the hospice and be crying over my Dad and she would be screaming at me and tell me to 'stop crying'. Our relationship has been falling apart for so long now. She just told me today she wants to break up.My Mum has just started her 4th series of chemotherapy.The chemo will not cure her Cancer. It's only prolonging her life. So I know what I have coming anytime soon. as much as that scares me it's whats after which also scares me.. Lonliness. The security and love only a parent can provide won't be there for me anymore..i don't know what to achieve from this but I'm trying to accept I may need help or I'm not coping well. Thanks for reading if you got this far..

Rt22 heartbroken, crushed
  • replies: 4

My husband said tonight "the reason I don't want to impregnate you, is because you can't even handle having 1 child" we have our own successful business, and I am a stay at home mum who does absolutely EVERYTHING at home, never had any help. ..... Im... View more

My husband said tonight "the reason I don't want to impregnate you, is because you can't even handle having 1 child" we have our own successful business, and I am a stay at home mum who does absolutely EVERYTHING at home, never had any help. ..... Im a perfectionist , doing my absolute best~ have always had the plan to have 2 children, and have been spoken to terribly lately by him, and then tonight he angrily and aggressively yells this to my face. I feel sick. I feel worthless. His comment made me feel like a shit mum and a worthless person. I can't believe my own husband has been saying such harsh things to me. Depression is through the roof, he's made me feel like crap: (

Lunar Feeling hopeless after break up
  • replies: 9

About nine months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. The break up was for two reasons. He constantly lied to me. I felt like I was going crazy disbelieving him all the time but he was always lying. Whenever we argued he would say he was ... View more

About nine months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. The break up was for two reasons. He constantly lied to me. I felt like I was going crazy disbelieving him all the time but he was always lying. Whenever we argued he would say he was depressed and an alcoholic, but then a few days later if I brought up getting help or stopping drinking he would just laugh and say that he lied and that he wasn't depressed. The second reason was that I wanted to move the relationship forward and move in together. He said he did but for a year came up with every excuse and lie in the book as to why he couldn't. Anyway so at the time it ended I felt like I had made the right decision but nine months later I still feel extremely conflicted about it. I feel so hopeless and down and I just wish i could have him back. I think of the good times we had and I can't bear to think we'll never be together again. I cry every day and I replay all the things I did wrong. I just know I'm going to feel this way for the rest of my life and that's a horrible thought.

Z_ Feeling usless and alone, Husband has said he's had enough.
  • replies: 9

Hi there, I'm new to post and I hope that you might be able to give me some help/advice maybe. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have had a lot of ups and downs and we both can hold a grudge. I have no family of my own, only my i... View more

Hi there, I'm new to post and I hope that you might be able to give me some help/advice maybe. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have had a lot of ups and downs and we both can hold a grudge. I have no family of my own, only my in-laws and just the thought of that males me feel alone.I'm the past few months I have been feeling useless and like I'm not the person I remember being. He asks me what's wrong but I dint know what to say. He has started yelling at me for little things and not letting it go, and I am also super stressed at work. Then last night he said that I will always be a selfish person and I always ruin everything. He shut the bedroom door on my face and hasn't spoken to me in more than 26 hours now and I can't cry anymore. I dint know how to be alone and I dont have any friends, he didn't like any of them. I feel totally worthless and I dont have anyone to speak to. I dint know what to do if be leaves me. Any advice??

SOMETHING_IS_WRONG DO I LEAVE?
  • replies: 4

I have been married for 21 years, I have 3 kids, 19, 18, 15, im from a European family and I married the same! Its been up and down my whole marriage. Today I cant fart without it being a problem, excuse my example. I just CANNOT do anything right! I... View more

I have been married for 21 years, I have 3 kids, 19, 18, 15, im from a European family and I married the same! Its been up and down my whole marriage. Today I cant fart without it being a problem, excuse my example. I just CANNOT do anything right! I just cant, he has talked about our sex life to my middle child, (Girl) he would call me on the phone and say something like "she has a day off tomorrow at work, why does she have to go into work on her day off? and I would repeat Tomorrow is her day off, and he would get angry at me and say Didn't I just say that! I have over the years walked out, I have over the years threatened that I would commit suicide, I just cant talk to this man, I have no reasoning with him, he is very old fashioned. My oldest daughter is to afraid of getting involved in a relationship with a boy as he has scared her so much that she just doesn't want to go through what would be lying ahead. He was in a car accident about 8 years ago he doesn't work he thinks he has bi polar, the whole family has to walk on egg shells around him, its "don't make dad upset" all the time! We went shopping the last 2 weeks and each time I have forgotten something OMG he yelled at me that I was stupid. He makes me feel so stupid, so unwanted, I work full time and im also his carer, I want to stay at work and not go home! I cry, he has even manipulated my kids to believe that I am a bad person cause I have threatened to leave. I want to leave but my kids wont talk to me, I love my husband I love my family, If I walk away I will feel that I have failed this marriage that I didn't stick it out, I am no role model to my kids, Marriage is till death do us part, and I will let them down. There is so much more I could write, I just don't know which parts to write. Im thinking my youngest will finish year 12 in 2 years and then I will walk away.Its good one month where he adores me, then next ,month he doesn't. He is very sarcastic towards me, and wants me to make all the efforts, eg in the bedroom play dress ups and make the effort, I always ask why do I have to dress up why cant you, and he has repeated this infront of my kids.. im very unhappy and just don't know what to do

feelinglessandnumb Disoriented
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure if this will help at all, but having read some of the discussions on the forum, I think maybe most of us are going through similar things but are just unable to deal with the situation. I fell in love way too young and spent most of my l... View more

I'm not sure if this will help at all, but having read some of the discussions on the forum, I think maybe most of us are going through similar things but are just unable to deal with the situation. I fell in love way too young and spent most of my life obsessed with being able to marry him. I moulded all major life decisions for this and sort of never got to discover myself. I was with him for over 10 years and and despite extensive discouraging from family and friends got married to him. He claimed he loved me, but would always lie to me and now that I look back I can see he manipulated me. I would catch him lying to me, being involved with other girls but he would always convince me it was harmless and that I was overthinking it. He would promise me he would never do it again and this was a vicious cycle. Despite this I convinced myself he was faithful to me and loved me and wanted to marry him. We did get married and I seemed to be the only one working at making a family life for us, working over 12 hours a day, earning money whereas he was unable to find or retain a job and as it turns out continued his lying. I discovered his cheating at a most vulnerable time and will never be able to get over it. Something in me snapped and I confronted him. I told him I will leave him and I did, but it took me more than an excruciating year. I lived that year in a constant state of acting, pretending to be a happy couple (for the marriage I had defied everyone to have) and not talking to him behind closed doors. It was a year full of tears and pain and heartache. He cried and begged for me to forgive him but I felt dead inside. I walked away from him but I still feel dead inside. He's the only man I have ever loved, I had identified myself as his girlfriend and his wife and with him gone I feel like I dont know myself. He crippled my self esteem because I dont understand why I was never enough for him. I feel useless and unloveable and I dont think I can ever be with anyone again. I dont really believe in love or feelings anymore, just feel disoriented and numb. I'm unable to excel at anything and feel like a complete failure in life. I changed my life around, moved away, thought a fresh start will help me feel, but it doesn't and I just feel hollow and brittle now.

Amali Just not getting over a break up
  • replies: 7

hi all, I am just wondering how normal it is to still be grieving the loss of my relationship. It's been 10 months since the sudden break up. I have completely cut him out of my life, I constantly wonder how he is going and worry about him. I am alwa... View more

hi all, I am just wondering how normal it is to still be grieving the loss of my relationship. It's been 10 months since the sudden break up. I have completely cut him out of my life, I constantly wonder how he is going and worry about him. I am always looking for him everywhere I go, I'm so terrified of bumping into him I sometimes avoid going out. I freak out and feel sick to my stomach whenever I see a yellow car because I think it's him. I have obsessive thoughts about the break up, lately I have felt an enormous amount of guilt. His mother passed away 3 years ago from cancer and I replay that over and over in my head. I still feel so connected to him and his family even though they are no longer part of my life. I wonder when I'll ever stop feeling this way. i broke up with him because he constantly lied to me and let me down, we were both devastated but I was crying all the time and realised he was causing me more pain then joy. He was my first love and I just can't see myself with anyone else. The pain is not only emotionally but physically. I'm tired, achy, headaches, anxious, up set stomach all the time. I'm wanting some relief. I've had counseling in the past. I just want to over this and find a happier place to be.

Dagget Truama, finances, relationships, jobs...how to destry your life in one easy step
  • replies: 6

About 12 months ago I had a bit of a crisis. To provide context, my wife and I were together 12 years and had, what I thought was a great relationship, we had just recently moved into the second house we built and money was no issue, my job was secur... View more

About 12 months ago I had a bit of a crisis. To provide context, my wife and I were together 12 years and had, what I thought was a great relationship, we had just recently moved into the second house we built and money was no issue, my job was secure and well paid and I was due for a years extended leave and all was under control...then I was accused of a criminal act. As a direct result my wife left me (only contact was by a text message), and I am now being sued for pretty much everything I have, i was and still am fear for my job as if the allegations come to light I will lose it, and remain overcome with guilt, remorse and shame along with everything it entails. Approximately a week after the event, I decided that enough was enough and there was only one solution. I could not live with the shame of it as it was something I had was so against my own character. I could also not live with the thought that my wife now thought I was a such an awful person that the only response was to run away and never contact me again. I also could not think of any way that there could be a positive outcome. As a result of those actions, I was hospitalised twice and received a range of crisis mental health treatments. It should be noted I sought treatment before implementing the final solution but I still could not see an outcome. Indeed the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I could not leave the animals as nobody would look after them. Since then I have been in constant contact with mental health professionals which have managed to keep me here and to assist in resumption of normal activities. Indeed I have even managed to very recently find a new partner. Recently, a request to help police with their enquires has caused a bit of a relapse, I am now afraid of the previous scenario repeating itself with the added stress of job loss, financial loss and loss of my home. Indeed it would appear that the fears I had then are now all coming true. I have spoken to mental health professionals who, while praising my recent comping skills and progress just seem to saw the same empty things. To be honest I am afraid now I have stopped listening to them as my thoughts remain highly negative, I cannot shut off the feeling of being destroyed, and despite reassurances that it will be better eventually have this feeling that it would be best if it ended now while I am still a good person.

guest154 Please help ... my heart is always aching and my stomach dosent stop churning!
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone I need help. I'm in my very early 20s and got married now with a 3 month daughter. My husband and I are very happy together .. Unfortunately I'm not happy with his family. When my husband first came to ask for my hand I met his mother an... View more

Hey everyone I need help. I'm in my very early 20s and got married now with a 3 month daughter. My husband and I are very happy together .. Unfortunately I'm not happy with his family. When my husband first came to ask for my hand I met his mother and sisters ... and all I felt was stabbing pains in my stomach. When we were engaged I used to always message his mother and always maintained my respect. Ever since I got married it's been going down hill. She always complains that I don't call and she dosent like to see messages from me even if I call 3x a week it's no enough. If I don't go over much she gets upset and being over 3x a week isn't enough. She once came over crying saying my son loves you more than me, if you told him to do something for you he will do it and not for me. I got blamed for my husband's weight. And my mil embarrassed me in front of everyone and said why my husband's shirt wasn't ironed. She gets mad when I don't stand next to her in the kitchen asking her what she's cooking. She told me she wants her son to tell her make me my favorite dish. When I was 9 months pregnant we went to the south coast with my inlaws and stayed in the same apartment room and she got mad why I didn't clean and cook . And I was in excruciating pain it felt like i had a bowling ball between my legs. She's so manipulative. My Sil messaged me saying I'm the reason because of her mother's depression. My fil told his other son that I'm dirty and my husband comes back home to open legs and where did his son find me from. My Sil shows me silent treatment I tried talking to her she completely turned her her face the other way. I'm fed up with it cry every night. He humiliated me my fil in front of everyone and said to me "do you thinki was born yesterday your too touchy about everything and what your mil tell you" My mil had photos of me and her on fb she took them off and started attacking me on fb with quotes and put up little films of a lady getting married to a man and the man neglects his mother My fil and mil think I've got their son wrapped around my finger. My mil complained once when I went for a walk and wondered where did I go because she thought her son wouldn't let me which he had no problem with. My sils are such bias people! Please help me I'm in tears and need advice.