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My sons ex is trying to cut me out of the grand childrens lives

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My son was given sole custody of his children as his ex was narcsissistic and only focused on hurting my son and not enjoying and doing whats best for the children. She also beat my son up and subjected the children to inappropriate material and purgerised herself in court. She attempted to appeal and lost

. Then all of a sudden an allegation came out of nowhere of the inappropriate nature against my son and she immediately got the kids back while it is investigated. 3 months on and no charges and no intentions of charging apparently due to no evidence. prior to this I had a very active role in the grandchildrens life. The ex has cut the kids off from their brother, and all of my sons family. She is a pathological liar.

I have spent thousands to make sure that I get to see the children.  They spent the first few years of there lives with me. I feel so gutted. And my son is absolutely gutted. He always bent over backwards to accomodate what she wanted, but not once did she return the favour. I must mention that my children were abused when they were little and I did everything in my power to make sure that the perpetrator spent many years in jail and we had intensive councelling. I feel that making the accusation would be the only way that she could ever get the kids back in her care and has run with it. All the evidence is pointing to the same. inconsistencies in stories. There has been mentions of possible coaching by the mother. I am trying to have faith in the justice system, but its so hard. If my grandchild is being abused, the police have potentially put them straight in the hands of someone that can do it freely. And not allowing me to even speak with them is absolutely killing me.
1 Reply 1

Hi Dray, 

Welcome and thank you for sharing this on the forums, we are so sorry to hear your are experiencing this but we are glad you can share your story here with our community. It sounds like an incredibly difficult time you are dealing with, being seperated from your grandchildren is such a painful situation.

It sounds like you've been incredibly strong in dealing with this as navigating the legal system can be an exhausting experience. We hope you are looking after yourself during this time as in times of stress we can quickly burn out, we can't help our family if we ourselves are burnt out so we encourage you to seek support. You can also reach out to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors any time, on 1300 22 4636, available 24/7, or you can speak to them on webchat here
We know there are no easy answers for you being seperated from your grandchildren and providing support to your son. We want you to know that you are not alone in dealing with this, please know that we are always here to listen for yourself or your son. It can be good to check in with your GP during this time to ensure your own physical wellbeing as well as they can provide a referral to counselling which can be helpful. 

Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members soon. We hope you can be as kind to yourself during this difficult time as you have been in opening up and sharing with the community here, today. 
Kind regards, 
Sophie M