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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Mudcakes Feeling unsafe after conflict at home – trauma response, not coping well
  • replies: 3

Chat gpt wrote this for me, im quite distressed and needed it summarised. Hi everyone,I’m posting because I’m really shaken tonight and struggling to ground myself, and I could use some support or perspective. I live in a very small apartment with my... View more

Chat gpt wrote this for me, im quite distressed and needed it summarised. Hi everyone,I’m posting because I’m really shaken tonight and struggling to ground myself, and I could use some support or perspective. I live in a very small apartment with my mum, and both of us are currently sick with the flu. Tonight, something that was emotionally important to me broke suddenly and loudly right in front of me while I was already vulnerable and calm for the first time in a while. My body went into shock – shaking, freezing, crying – and I asked for help. What followed was an argument where things escalated quickly. I asked for space in my room multiple times, but it wasn’t respected, and voices were raised. Because of my past trauma, having my personal space invaded is extremely triggering for me. It sent me straight into a trauma response. During the conflict, I was called “abusive” because I swore while highly dysregulated. That word has hit me very deeply, as it links directly to past abuse I’ve experienced. I now feel overwhelmed with shame, fear, and confusion, and my nervous system feels completely overloaded. I want to be very clear: I did not threaten anyone, I did not try to control anyone, and I was trying to get space to feel safe. But right now my brain keeps looping on the accusation, and I’m struggling to calm down or trust myself. On top of that, the apartment is tiny, neighbours are having a loud party, and I feel trapped with nowhere quiet to regulate. I’m safe physically, but emotionally I feel shattered and on edge. I guess I’m posting because: I need reassurance that trauma responses and boundary panic aren’t the same as being an abusive personI’m struggling with shock and emotional fallout after conflict at homeI feel really alone and flooded right now If anyone has been through something similar – being triggered by family conflict, being mislabelled during dysregulation, or feeling unsafe in your own space – I’d really appreciate hearing how you got through it or what helped. Thank you for reading. Even writing this out helps a little. i even feel bad using ai

BoldSoul Organized Harassment in broad daylight and I'm the TI
  • replies: 2

I'm a victim of organized harassment - this is another term for "gang stalking" but has been respectfully and appropriately termed "organised harassment" in order to remove stigmatization and any persecutory or pathological references involving the v... View more

I'm a victim of organized harassment - this is another term for "gang stalking" but has been respectfully and appropriately termed "organised harassment" in order to remove stigmatization and any persecutory or pathological references involving the victim. My position is officially termed the "targeted individual" or TI. The techniques employed in an organized harassment campaign were originally developed by British Intelligence and are designed to wear down an individual's resilience, resulting in suicide or self-harm - what is termed a "long slow murder", involving psychological torture and torment, the isolation of an individual by way of the erosion of social, community and familial relationships and connections, the repeated interference, destruction and sabotage of an individual's goals, aspirations and efforts to better themselves through education, employment, community involvement or the development of new friendships or relationships. An individual will be blocked from advancing in any direction that is not prescribed by the control group, known as "operatives". Presently I am "blocked" from studying at university, from shopping at my preferred stores and mall having been herded or "corralled" and "contained" within my local neighbourhood, from attending my previous bulk billing clinic and seeing my familiar, general practitioner where I was poorly treated and made to feel confused and expelled by doctor, nurses and reception, from attending the local hospital where I've already been terrorized and where I'll be subjected to disbelief and discredited by staff and specialists, from attending Imaging services for essential tests, and from seeking services and supports in countless other organizations, such as my preferred Pharmacy, the NDIS, The Department of Housing, Australia Post, Victoria Police, etc. etc. etc. I understand that my wellbeing, my health and my safety are my own concern and my responsibility, but how is a person expected to continue when an entire population of some thousands of brainwashed and misguided people make a hobby and a pastime out of formulating new and continuous plots designed to destroy my happiness, my personal strength, to impact my physical health, to erode my sense of safety and belonging, my self-esteem, my beliefs and value system, and to undermine me in any and all manner they can derive in undetectable ways that confound and distort and even have the professionals fooled? It is called Organized Harassment

Bootsy92 Two years and still struggling
  • replies: 3

Hi, There’s probably a lot to unpack here tbh, but the sum of it is basically 2 years ago my family and I were homeless. While living in temp accomodation, I walked in on my then partner of 12 years sexually assaulting our oldest child. I can’t go in... View more

Hi, There’s probably a lot to unpack here tbh, but the sum of it is basically 2 years ago my family and I were homeless. While living in temp accomodation, I walked in on my then partner of 12 years sexually assaulting our oldest child. I can’t go into too much detail with that because it’s still within the courts. Since then, my children and I have finally gotten a home, but are constantly harassed and tormented by the ex and his family/friends who all support/encourage what he did to my child. I get ridiculed for supporting my child to make their police report, for my child being put through a medical examination that day. I have no idea what is in my child’s statement at all. I have ASD, adhd and various other mental health, and my children have various disabilities. It’s a lot. Trying to support my child, I’m lost in that regard. They can’t talk to me about that day until I’ve testified in court, I can’t talk to them. They’ve already testified as a pre recording but the other party keeps pushing court back with his lawyer not being ready (despite having 2 years to get ready!). literally today someone told me to go kill myself before they organise it to be done themselves. I don’t see the point in calling police and reporting it anymore, 2 years his family and friends have gotten away with this stuff directed towards me and my child despite an avo. My child spoke up and I got blasted on social media because they spoke up. I’m being accused of bullying a teenager(my child’s paternal cousin) who has literally physically assaulted my child. I have random people who are his friends putting stuff online and locally, I don’t want to move again and be homeless again, or move away from my entire family. how do I go forward and keep supporting my child through their trauma when I don’t know how to keep going myself. I haven’t had any counselling yet for the day our life went to shit(still waiting on victims services and availability). on top of my child’s trauma, I was also being financially and emotionally manipulated by the ex who was and is an extreme narcissist and stole thousands from me, pushed my family away even though I rely on them, hated that my former best friend and I were so close( his brother in law). He couldn’t handle that our children respected me over him and loved me more, and always tried to poison them against me. He would be physical with them all, over minor issues that could be dealt with by talking to the children.

Pakyboy28 Controlling my anger having ADHD .
  • replies: 5

Hi Everyone,I would like some advice how to control my anger . I’ve always been a shy quiet person, but for the last 2 or so months, things have been difficult to talk to others. I have seen my GP recently to change my ADHD meds thinking this would h... View more

Hi Everyone,I would like some advice how to control my anger . I’ve always been a shy quiet person, but for the last 2 or so months, things have been difficult to talk to others. I have seen my GP recently to change my ADHD meds thinking this would help me change my emotions. But nothing has worked as yet. It’s affecting my relationship with my wife and children’s ( mind you two out of the three children I have had ADHD too )and l think anxiety is starting to set in. I would be most appreciative if someone out there can help me with this situation I have. I’m seeing my psychiatrist on the weekend for some advice and to change my meds again…. Thanks

Ki-Ki Meaning of Life
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m currently in a phase where life feels deeply confusing and meaningless to me.I can’t wrap my head around why we’re here or what we’re supposed to be doing, and these thoughts sometimes trigger panic and intense anxiety. I’ve lost my s... View more

Hi everyone,I’m currently in a phase where life feels deeply confusing and meaningless to me.I can’t wrap my head around why we’re here or what we’re supposed to be doing, and these thoughts sometimes trigger panic and intense anxiety. I’ve lost my sense of joy and purpose, and even the things I used to love don’t reach me anymore. If you’ve ever felt this way, how did you deal with these existential thoughts without feeling overwhelmed by them?

Guest_55168751 Stuck in a place where I don't belong
  • replies: 1

People think I am suicidal, but I am always like this - whenever I have any restriction of any freedom, I freak out, it doesnt matter whatever is prescribed, or even if I am not on any medication as approved by a clinic. As soon as dad and stepmom st... View more

People think I am suicidal, but I am always like this - whenever I have any restriction of any freedom, I freak out, it doesnt matter whatever is prescribed, or even if I am not on any medication as approved by a clinic. As soon as dad and stepmom started talking about pek chai and ah gau years ago, making weird rude names to install onto people, and when I knew there was such thing as affordable broadband and I was stuck on dial up, and I didn’t get to eat a sunny side up egg everyday, I was always going to be upset. (Trust me, I can recall every single thing that makes me upset, my brain does work differently) Some call it suicidal, but people think I am weird, call me names, because I am like a computer, only seeking a version of existence that I am comfortable with, but that is also rude and racist. So what if there are fixed items: flavours, things, tactile, sensations I need to feel happier? Any restriction of those if done by others is an unwarranted experiment, at worse deprivation of liberty. But if not, and I can’t find those myself, then it’s still items I require to have or feel in order to function. And when I attain a level of comfort, even if I don't blame others, it feels like gets taken away for no reason? What is so wrong about my thinking? Why can’t I just be allowed to be me? Why are vetting case managers so weird with neurodiversity? It is not childish. Every single adult is different and unique. It is not an indicator of illness. How can I talk to my counsellor about things so that I can be released from this place where I do not belong? What are my legal rights as a Victorian and Australian?

Broken79 The worst type of betrayal
  • replies: 4

My heart is in my throat. My partner of 5 years sexually assaulted my 14 year old while he was intoxicated. The mandatory processes are in place And he says he doesn't remember. I asked him to leave the house as soon as I found out and my daughter is... View more

My heart is in my throat. My partner of 5 years sexually assaulted my 14 year old while he was intoxicated. The mandatory processes are in place And he says he doesn't remember. I asked him to leave the house as soon as I found out and my daughter is safe. He knows he can't come back My heart aches for my little girl. And I feel so messed up because I am grieving our relationship and I feel so guilty. Please help me get through this

Mudcakes Complex cptsd situation.
  • replies: 2

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be ... View more

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be worried where we would sleep at night. The abuser often, used their passion for their favourite sport team as their weapon of choice. If the team lost it was a scary time. Basically me being their daughter meant nothing to them. So this sports team is deeply triggering to me.The abuser is now fully blown rich now and this team are now having them and their company as a partnership and made a highlight article about how they give back and want to stop poverty and involved with a charity. I feel sick, I have used this charity for support before because of this abuser but no longer can feel safe to .Basically the news of this partnership and how it keeps getting so messed up makes me feel sick, plus we gotta move soon cause our rent is going up, meanwhile the abuser has millions of dollars. I’m safe. Just had to include that.

Retronoodles 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but somehow, it does get better!
  • replies: 1

I want to share how 2025 has been a mostly kind and good year for me. For context, in 2020 a death in my family triggered BD and I endured multiple relapses, being sent to psych wards a few times. After BD I got an ASD diagnosis - 'late diagnosed' fe... View more

I want to share how 2025 has been a mostly kind and good year for me. For context, in 2020 a death in my family triggered BD and I endured multiple relapses, being sent to psych wards a few times. After BD I got an ASD diagnosis - 'late diagnosed' female, woohoo...thanks. Therefore, when I made my first post here I was in the absolute slumps. These bizarre experiences of a disorder that made me see hallucinations and have delusions not only had shattered my world, but after my illness, I seemed to have lost a bulk of my cognitive capabilities to make 'art' at a high quality level like I used to. My psychiatrist still doesn't know what caused it; it could be depression? Or the meds? We tried everything. I has been a loss for me. I grieved a past me. My self esteem was in the gutter for years. I couldn't face old friends. My legs shook with dread when I tried to draw in the evening like I used to love to do. With years, the C-PTSD has faded. I made new friends, and a lot of them always end up saying they love my art - the art I can do now. I am also proudly graduating uni in March of next year a mature aged student. Also, most importantly as of this year, I am a new solo mum to a baby girl, and she is my world~ All these happy accomplishments have reconnected me with my self esteem I though I had completely lost after my psychotic break. But today was not one such OK day. I felt lonely and anxious about being a solo mum - especially whether I'll ever be a GOOD mum. I chatted with a Beyond Blue agent, but I just wound myself up As when I'm upset, I write more meladramatic and horrible things. TDLR; but I had a tough day. But I know that my bad days are fewer and far-er between this year. I don't know how and when life precisely got better for me, other than I just kept desiring to be free from the 'leg shaking out of dread' that used to hit me at 8:30pm on the dot every night, and weirdly, that shaking leg thing seemed to vanish for the most part this year! I also have kept a gratitude journal and a pen next to my bed and written in it most nights since 2021.Every night, I just write 1 line starting with 'I am grateful for'. At first I was fighting the idea (since a family member gifted me a journal and told me to start doing it lol). But somehow, this has become a cherished ritual. No, journaling hasn't fixed me, but when I flip through the book, I may not always see an awesome perfect day, but I see that I am someone who always keeps trying. Thanks for reading.

Chloe03 Triggers
  • replies: 1

I experienced trauma as a child, dv and an affair in my marriage. I’m now in a relationship with a really great person who is so good to me, but I keep having terrible trigger episodes. I want to understand why I am being triggered by my partner havi... View more

I experienced trauma as a child, dv and an affair in my marriage. I’m now in a relationship with a really great person who is so good to me, but I keep having terrible trigger episodes. I want to understand why I am being triggered by my partner having attractive fb friends. I’ve never been a jealous person and this has never happened to me before him. It starts when I see an attractive person in “people you may know” and he is friends with them. It’s hard to describe now, when it’s not happening, but I actually feel like a different person and it’s hard to remember what I’m thinking but I know it starts small and my brain keeps collecting evidence that there’s something wrong with him and/or the relationship. My chest hurts. I get the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, then I feel so sad. I have intrusive thoughts for ages, act irrationally. Sometimes I cry, and just want it to stop, one time I sobbed heavily and my legs were shaking and for some reason I had to watch the video of my ex that I secretly filmed of him berating me. It was so strange. When I snap out of it, which can take hours, I’m embarrassed and don’t feel the way I felt during the episode. As in, of course some of his friends might be attractive, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, he’s not doing anything wrong.