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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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KatnissPrimrose Reliving traumas with therapits
  • replies: 1

I started writing this post detailing everything I've gone through and ended up with a lot of pages that won't fit in here.I tried to suicide for the 2nd time, this month.I was in the mental health ward for several days having discussions over and ov... View more

I started writing this post detailing everything I've gone through and ended up with a lot of pages that won't fit in here.I tried to suicide for the 2nd time, this month.I was in the mental health ward for several days having discussions over and over of why I did it.I was referred to AODS where I have had to go through the traumas again. The Way Back service where I will have to do it all again.I am soooo tired of telling my story to different therapists. I found myself in my head again trying to write here why I feel there is no joy in life. That it is all a battle I'm very tired of fighting. I'm tired of working just to eat and sleep. Everything is so expensive. I have to move house soon. I just want to have a bonfire (I won't) of my stuff and curl up in my car.Having to recount my past traumas, my present ones over and over just leaves me a crying mess with a huge headache.Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the help offered. I'm just not feeling better with it.

Sunny_days Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

I (23F) was in a relationship with someone I really loved (24M) until recently that lasted about 3 years where we lived together… I had been in past relationships before this one that had been quite bad in terms of emotional and physical abuse, so I ... View more

I (23F) was in a relationship with someone I really loved (24M) until recently that lasted about 3 years where we lived together… I had been in past relationships before this one that had been quite bad in terms of emotional and physical abuse, so I didn’t think that there was any issue with this one and I really thought I was going to marry him and have kids with him, so I feel utterly disillusioned. he had been very open with me about his previous relationships, and had detailed to me about six months or longer into the relationship that one of his previous partners had enjoyed watching porn with him and using adult toys to please himself, and that he liked that, and wanted to do it with me. I did not want to do this, but became quickly aware of the fact that this disappointed him, and he was upset with me and said I made him feel ashamed of himself… It was at this time that he also disclosed to me and showed me his extensive collection of porn DVDs, magazines, flashlights modelled off of porn actresses, and scrapbooks he made of porn actresses that resembled people he knew and were our friends. He had told me a lot of this had been because his ex-girlfriend had encouraged this. over time and after having struggles with him misplacing funds, lying about money, excessive gambling, and both of us having to skip meals, his porn collection grew and to an extent that I would estimate at about 500-600 porn DVDs. He had been open about wanting to please himself, and at the time I felt that this was only fair since I didn’t want him to feel stifled by me, and I felt that any feelings I had that were bad about it, were selfish and insecure, and any time I brought it up it made him very defensive and upset. this dynamic culminated in him sitting in the lounge room with a case of beer, a 2L tub of lube, and at least four fleshlights (that were correlated to the women he would watch) watching porn for days, at least twice a week, for about two years. This prevented me from having people over, opening the curtains, participating in any household task, or leaving my bedroom, and over time, made me feel like I had no control or choice. It became so much so, that I had multiple bad depressive episodes, all of which I felt ashamed about, and he called me ‘unattractive’ or ‘crazy’ for having, and would use this as an excuse to watch more and more porn. Since breaking up with him and losing my housing in the process, I feel so so lost.

Mikhaela Am I in the wrong
  • replies: 2

I was 8 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and 10 when I was diagnosed with Autism.In year 4 I just had this friend thing where one of my friends lets say her name is Molly. (this is privacy. not her real name) Molly and I were really close friends like ... View more

I was 8 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and 10 when I was diagnosed with Autism.In year 4 I just had this friend thing where one of my friends lets say her name is Molly. (this is privacy. not her real name) Molly and I were really close friends like we had been friends since preschool and so yeah this one day, one of my friends goes "hey Mikhaela can't you just be invisible" And like Molly goes into this kinda huddle thing and says something and, the whole next week she ignores me and says like when i'm trying to talk to her she goes "oh it must be the wind" or "it's the abominable snowman again" and yeah so that's a whole week of that. Then in year five my sister leaves the school, and my other frinpend lets say her name is grace not resl name. Grace is sad sbout my sister leaving the chool understandable, but she starts blaming me and for three terms she is constantly bugging me about how it was all my fault my sister left. she starts ig oring me making snide comments about me and rumors like it's all my fault my sister keft and Molly I only just started trusting againstarts believing the rumors and completely stabs me in the back, it's not true, and my sister wasn't getting a good enough education like her teacher wouldn't go over thing my sister didn't understand. yeah like grace and molly are just telling this new kid and feeding her the rumors and she believes them and soon there's no one at my school i can trust, not even the teachers. they don't do anything about this bullying. I find that molly ang grace both stole and ripped me of my identity and that i didn't deserve that. i just can believe it. then one day on the bus i catch grace is all in my face about how it's all my fault my sister left the school, and she keeps on insissting about its all my fault. im pretty sure it's not though.Am i in the wrong to be upset and traumitised wanting to take all days off school possible?

BridgetJones Broken and Lonely
  • replies: 6

I’ve lived through multiple traumatic events since childhood, which have deeply shaped the way I see and interact with the world. Growing up with an emotionally absent mother, I learned to distrust authority figures, and that distrust has persisted i... View more

I’ve lived through multiple traumatic events since childhood, which have deeply shaped the way I see and interact with the world. Growing up with an emotionally absent mother, I learned to distrust authority figures, and that distrust has persisted into adulthood. Though I’ve been sober for seven years, certain situations still trigger emotional reactions, and I often find myself dissociating when faced with stress. At 48, I live with the lingering effects of those experiences. I tend to isolate myself, especially in social situations, and fear still has a strong hold over me. I’ve tried to break out of this cycle, but it’s difficult. I’ve had EMDR and various treatments along the way, but there are still some challenges—like the difficulty of being in a room with a therapist, which often triggers old wounds. Despite all of this, I’ve made progress. I’m in a better place now than I used to be, and I’m learning to navigate the complexities of my emotions. But there are days when it feels like a struggle, and I know that the way I’m living isn’t sustainable. I want more out of life, more connection, and more peace. It’s a journey, but I’m still moving forward, even if it’s not always easy. Single and living with chronic distrust, anxiety and people pleasing behaviours, lost my identity in the process. Would love to hear from anyone with similar experience? Thank you for listening.

Jo999 Workplace injury horrible rehab Comcare invalidity - can anyone help please?
  • replies: 30

I have a psychological claim with Comcare that has been going on for years. I want to get away from them and out of the system, but they (and my awful employer) keep hounding me and sending me for multiple psychiatric exams and IMEs. They will not fi... View more

I have a psychological claim with Comcare that has been going on for years. I want to get away from them and out of the system, but they (and my awful employer) keep hounding me and sending me for multiple psychiatric exams and IMEs. They will not find me a job, will not give me a redundancy and will not put me forward for medical invalidity. I am just kept in constant limbo. The rehab consultants ignore all the medical advice and have not been able to find me a job. I have found the rehabilitation consultants to be the most useless nastiest pieces of work. They act like policemen telling me everyday to call up friends and beg for a job. They told me to do charity begging work even though I have poor social skills and anxiety. I am unable to approach people and beg for money. After 10 years of this ongoing crap, I am very unwell and don't know what to do anymore. Comcare said if I try to challenge anything or don't do what they say, they can go back and raise a debt against me for 10 years of payments (hundreds of thousands of dollars) so I am in a nightmare with no way out. Has anyone been through this? Can anyone offer advice or assistance as I need help. My anxiety is extreme and my doctor has prescribed sleeping pills to help me sleep as I lie away all night worrying. I am likely to end up jobless, cut off all benefits, and homeless, and the thought just makes me cry.

Jensone Near death resuscitate
  • replies: 9

In December 2024 i was visiting a friend and he collapsed in front of me,in my state of panic dialled 000 and was talked through into applying CPR for a total of 7 minutes…. i was on the phone line after checked my call log before a team of ambos arr... View more

In December 2024 i was visiting a friend and he collapsed in front of me,in my state of panic dialled 000 and was talked through into applying CPR for a total of 7 minutes…. i was on the phone line after checked my call log before a team of ambos arrived to continue to resuscitate.They worked on him for 40 minutes and unable to find a pulse and was given worse case scenario due to no heartbeat.They ambos continued whilst transferring him to hospital 3 minutes away with me fearing the worst.Arriving at emergency myself was told not to expect any miracles or his organs will shut down,brain damage etc etc after taking in the enormity of what had happened I’d braced myself that he was going to die.Over the course of the next week in a self induced coma he continued to improve and low and behold he regained consciousness and had a defibrillator fitted by day 13 and not long term side affects It continues to weigh on me that i actually helped saved his life and i have moments of what ifs and it seems surreal that he actually survived after i was told there was no hope just wondering if anyone else has had this happen and the after affects that one carries after witnessing the near death experience of losing someone

Rowen13 Unrequited friendships or low self-esteem?
  • replies: 46

How do I know if a friendship is worth it? I told my online friend that I really loved and cared for him as a friend. He told me he liked and cared for me.After knowing him and sharing my darkest moments and secrets, it hurts that the emotional/energ... View more

How do I know if a friendship is worth it? I told my online friend that I really loved and cared for him as a friend. He told me he liked and cared for me.After knowing him and sharing my darkest moments and secrets, it hurts that the emotional/energy level is not reciprocated. I know I have an anxious attachment style and my last girl friend never loved me back either. He knows about this and I have explained how much it hurts and how I worry that the same friendship dynamic is repeating.l'm tired of always being the one that cares more? Should I try to care less or just cut ties with my friend and move on? I'm aware I can't control his feelings but I find because I am going through a difficult time in my life already..it's really affecting my self esteem and mental health.He says he wants the friendship but I wonder if it's better to just cut ties and work on my anxious attachment style. So I can find a friend that I don't continually chase and the emotional investment is more equal.He use to reply and text all the time and now everything I say seems to irritate him and he never initiates contact. I try to get him to see the friendship is already over but he always repeats that he is fighting to keep me in his life.I know in every relationship that someone always feels more but after everything we have shared and the level of trust I put in to letting him see the "real" me...it just hurts that I know deep down that I am disposable to him and all the time spent and conversations meant nothing.Opening your heart and being vulnerable and feeling undervalued just hurts. I know I am the only one keeping the "friendship" alive because, that's not a friendship at all.

BigAlan79 M abused by brother
  • replies: 3

I am not sure what to say, I need help, I am a 45 YO male and I have been verbally abused by my brother for 13 years now. I am at the end of my rope, and thinking of just ending it, but my sister is willing to let me stay with her, about an hour from... View more

I am not sure what to say, I need help, I am a 45 YO male and I have been verbally abused by my brother for 13 years now. I am at the end of my rope, and thinking of just ending it, but my sister is willing to let me stay with her, about an hour from where I am, I just need to figure out how to get there. The short version is I have never worked in my life, I have irritable bowl syndrome, it means I spend a lot of time in the toilet ( in my case cant stop), and it has made living any sort of normal life impossible, and as such I have had to live with my mum and dad (well mum since dad died in 2012), and so does my brother, although he has run a business but it is pretty much dead now. I guess I just don't know what to do beyond just fleeing and giving up on most of my stuff. What do I do when I get to my sisters place, its just 1bedroom unit but she wants to move. I am hoping a friend my help me escape, but what if he gets abusive, and I call the cops, would they even bother being male on male/brothers and not actually physical abuse. How do I go about getting help for all of this, especially the shame being a male, and the guilt, sadly my mum has been in hospital for almost 4 months, and will be bed ridden for the rest of her life, which is likely only months, and fleeing means it would be almost impossible to see her. How do I get help, he has been abusive not just to me, but also my sister, a friend who has his girlfriend but now just lives with us for his work, and she is almost 72, and uses our mums money for gambling.I know its dumb, but I really don't want to call the cops, I think that would make him worse.

Cocolee15 I think something happened to me as a kid?
  • replies: 1

Hello to anyone reading, I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I'm on medication of it.The problems is that when I was getting on lithium I started having these repressed memories or false memories of sexual abuse as a kid.These mem... View more

Hello to anyone reading, I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I'm on medication of it.The problems is that when I was getting on lithium I started having these repressed memories or false memories of sexual abuse as a kid.These memories feel very real to me and during that time they were going on they were the only False memories or repressed memories I was experiencing I had no other symptoms.It's also true that I used to play rape with my toys as a kid and I knew to keep it a secret.These thoughts circle around my hand till they drive me crazy.Could there be some truth to them?

Mikhaela Is this what a healthy learning environment is?
  • replies: 1

During Friday I was sitting alone, waiting for parent-teacher interviews to be over, you know as you do and i casually started thinking of how toxic it was back at my old school. I was there being all like "wow i survived that i am strong" but then r... View more

During Friday I was sitting alone, waiting for parent-teacher interviews to be over, you know as you do and i casually started thinking of how toxic it was back at my old school. I was there being all like "wow i survived that i am strong" but then realised that i was left with the scars of the old school *hem hem* eating disorder will not eat anything at school well i dont eat at school anymore because of how healthy it is at school because i am socialising in the library at lunch and recess and don't have enough time for food. But then not to mention I can't trust anyone anymore after grace* completely turned around and said one day "you're not my friend because you are the reason natalie** left."*Grace is not her real name because of privacy**Natalie is my sister and yet again is not her real nameIf anyone wants to talk i want someone to vent to