PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Catie 08 Scrambled 2.0
  • replies: 5

I've been away from the forums for a while but tonight I felt it right to reconnect.I've been doing quiet well however I was triggered by a movie I watched and now I feel like I'm back down the rabbit hole.My childhood abuser passed away some years a... View more

I've been away from the forums for a while but tonight I felt it right to reconnect.I've been doing quiet well however I was triggered by a movie I watched and now I feel like I'm back down the rabbit hole.My childhood abuser passed away some years ago and I regret not feeling able to speak up to the authorities and my family sooner so he could have been made accountable for his actions. I have recently found out where his wife moved to and feel like I need to take this opportunity to contact her before she also passes. I know it wasn't her who caused my trauma but she also didnt stop it. I know I feel the need to contact her but I also don't know what I would say, I just know I would regret not taking the opportunity before it no longer exists.

Positivityshine 40 male with Childhood trauma PTSD
  • replies: 5

Good evening everyone. Don’t know if I’m having a mid life crisis or that “thing” hidden in the closet is starting to creep out. im a 40s yr old male with steady job, lovely family with kids. My wife is brilliant with nurturing kids and looking after... View more

Good evening everyone. Don’t know if I’m having a mid life crisis or that “thing” hidden in the closet is starting to creep out. im a 40s yr old male with steady job, lovely family with kids. My wife is brilliant with nurturing kids and looking after me. I am a very lucky man. couldn’t ask for a better life. However, my only darkest secret is that I’ve be exposed to sexual abuse as a child by family members and mentally physically abused by my step siblings. Been hopping to guardians one after the other due to parents not being committed. Not pointing any fingers but the shamefulness is real. On the surface level, I’m a well spoken, family oriented, fatherly figure man but on the inside, lack of self esteem, disengage and shameful I’m always trying to be positive in front of everyone and to my family. I do not want my children to experience what I have endured as a child. i’’m addicted to porn (daily basis) and tends to avoid my wife because i feel disgusted by myself. No one knows about my abuse history and addiction. i don’t have anyone to talk to and don’t have the courage to seek specialist. I’m currently applying ‘self diagnoses” by studying psychology related courses. I guess this is a head space for me to vent and a place to grasp for some air. Sorry to keep rambling but I’ve already feeling much better. please join in for discussion. Positivity shines and I believe we are powerfully to overcome our shadowed past. One step at a time.

Bloom39 Physical Intimidation and Breaking Household Possessions: Struggling to recognise violence?
  • replies: 2

It's been a while since my last forum post about in the depression section but I can't seem to avoid drama in my life. I'm beginning to think it's a 'me' problem. I'm supposed to be cramming for my assignment but this topic weighs heavily on my mind.... View more

It's been a while since my last forum post about in the depression section but I can't seem to avoid drama in my life. I'm beginning to think it's a 'me' problem. I'm supposed to be cramming for my assignment but this topic weighs heavily on my mind. I have a sibling called S. I got into an argument over unintentionally provoking their dog in order to stop my dog from being chased and attacked. I know that S's dog is overly reactive to loud noises but adrenaline fully kicked in when I saw it mouth my dog on the neck and yelled because my dog has been attacked UNPROVOKED multiple times by this dog. Anyways, S yelled over me for shouting at the dog when I was trying to explain, then proceeded to walk towards me in an aggressive manner and shout pretty much in my face. I honestly thought that I would gonna get hit. After that I talked it out with S and apologised for my outburst; honestly told them what I thought about their dog not being muzzled trained even at home, being over-stimulated around guests and having a history of attacking my own dog and family members and they were calm at that point. Anyways, doesn't sound too violent right now so I'll mention what scares me. S has gotten mad in arguments before, to the point of breaking things. Things that don't belong to them. In fact, even my bedroom door is screwed - I'll leave that up to imagination. So, when S walked towards me, I honestly thought I was next to break. I know that I messed up massively with their dog, but at what point is walking up to someone to shout crossing the line when I can hear them perfectly from across the room? That being said, I am extremely tempted to call the police the next time they react like this over anything, even stress. I understand being crazy angry but I struggle to understand making someone feel unsafe even if they're reacting inappropriately towards your dog. Anyways, I know I'm a bum, but I feel like an unsafe bum? P.S. They also said that I was not acting my age after they slammed a chair down (the same type they broke previously) and walked into what I think is my personal space in retrospect . That seemed pretty hypocritical...unless I'm a real bumbum. Also I don't really think of them as a sibling after they called me retarded (I draw the line at that point) so I think there is some internal conflict about whether I care about getting authorities involved. Thanks for your time and please enlighten me with wisdom so I can act my age. Best wishes

Guest_10170 Abuse.
  • replies: 5

So, when I was 4 I was put into a foster home. And I was abused awfully every day until I was almost 15. I spent almost 11 years in that House, this year I turn 18 and I’m not exactly sure how to cope with the sudden change in my environment. I feel ... View more

So, when I was 4 I was put into a foster home. And I was abused awfully every day until I was almost 15. I spent almost 11 years in that House, this year I turn 18 and I’m not exactly sure how to cope with the sudden change in my environment. I feel like my trauma has made me more jumpy and less trusting. I have a new family now including an adorable younger brother and an amazing mother and father. but recently this abuse has come back to haunt me in ways I could never have imagined I’ve started acting out even to my parents and brother and I’m scared that I’m gonna do something to hurt them. I just wanna be a good daughter and sister but I feel like my trauma is corrupting me and making me a bad person. everyone I talk to about this doesn’t seem to understand that I do genuinely fear becoming like my abusers. I’ve gone to therapy and I’ve done the medication and the treatments. but I feel like at the end of the day it’s very much monkey See monkey do is there anything I can do to prevent myself from going down that path?

Corinaf Sexual assault, following & intimidation
  • replies: 2

This is a long story but I’ll try sum it up.So basically 2 of my friends were dating and they broke up because the guy (Baxter) sexually assaulted my friend (Rosa) - it was a very heavy topic and I was on the phone to Baxter and went off at him becau... View more

This is a long story but I’ll try sum it up.So basically 2 of my friends were dating and they broke up because the guy (Baxter) sexually assaulted my friend (Rosa) - it was a very heavy topic and I was on the phone to Baxter and went off at him because of doing such a terrible thing to my friend, and I didn’t release but he had people in his car listening in to everything I was saying. I then rang my friend Rosa back and told her I was going to go for a walk just to clear my head but stay on the phone to her in case anything bad happened as Baxter knew where I lived. I was scared but thought he most likely won’t come up here. I kept saying to Rosa on the phone “I feel like something bad is going to happen because he knows where I live, so I’m going to call my ex boyfriend (Jayden)” I then hung up and called Jayden and just said “hey can you meet me in the bottom of your street as Rosa and Baxter broke up and I feel something bad is going to happen but I’ll explain everything to you when we get there “ I hung up and called Rosa back, and by then I had noticed a red car following me around , it pulled up beside me and the back window rolled down and it was Baxter. I said “how did you know where I was as I don’t have my location on for anyone” and he just said oh don’t worry love we’re just going for a drive. Next minute him and two other boys jump out of the car and start circling in on me and backing me into a bush - they started throwing around all of these threats, luckily Jayden had showed up when he did because I don’t know what would’ve happened if he didn’t Is just it’s been so hard to navigate my feelings since it happened. Like it was really traumatic. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I can’t feel safe in my own house anymore because im scared their just going to show up at any point And I guess factoring my experience with men and abuse and sexual assault it just made it a lot worse

JayCee28 Teen child anxiety PTSD Trauma?
  • replies: 9

Teen child does not want contact with his father, teen has told father constantly via text,mother ( me) and child psychologist over and over he wants no contact at all with father.Issues from abusive/ grooming behaviour from father when we were a fam... View more

Teen child does not want contact with his father, teen has told father constantly via text,mother ( me) and child psychologist over and over he wants no contact at all with father.Issues from abusive/ grooming behaviour from father when we were a family unit. father has recently contacted child ,child’s reply to father was father should K himself. I sat down with teen and said that is not an appropriate thing to say to anyone, teen could have said he doesn’t want contact.teens reply was he has said it over and over 1000’s of times, his father doesn’t listen.I will let child psychologist know what has happened. what can I do in this situation??

Guest_86799466 Narcissistic abuse survivor
  • replies: 2

Abusive relationship survivor any support groups who understand narcissistic abuse please?

Abusive relationship survivor any support groups who understand narcissistic abuse please?

Bigdog72 Why are bad choices made when 11/12yo destroying me 40 years later
  • replies: 6

Hi im not sure wether this is in the right section or if there even is a right section. I find this hard to put out there for all to see but will try. Im 53yo male that has suffered seperation issues all my like due to being adopted. Dont get me wron... View more

Hi im not sure wether this is in the right section or if there even is a right section. I find this hard to put out there for all to see but will try. Im 53yo male that has suffered seperation issues all my like due to being adopted. Dont get me wrong i was very lucky to get exception adoptive parents. I was sent to boarding school before my 12th birthday. So seperated again. Would run away from school on weekend into the city. Where i met a friend a few years older than me. He introduced me to drugs n other people that i then allowed to abuse me to get the drugs i needed. Im sorry if this doesnt make sence but nothing in my head does.

JulieA Husband charged with sexually abusing my 7 year old Grandaughter
  • replies: 3

I separated from my husband the day he was charged - January 2025i am now living with my daughters.I miss my husband terribly and worry about how he is coping.i know contacting him is not the right thing to do but the pull is extremely strong.Has any... View more

I separated from my husband the day he was charged - January 2025i am now living with my daughters.I miss my husband terribly and worry about how he is coping.i know contacting him is not the right thing to do but the pull is extremely strong.Has anyone been through anything similar and has some advice for me.It would be greatly appreciated

Tearnie13 Car accident and domestic violence
  • replies: 2

I just wanted to get my story out there and see if could find someone to relate. I was t boned at an intersection by a road train at 75kms, that moment destroyed my entire life, left me with a brain injury and permanent disabilities. Along with that ... View more

I just wanted to get my story out there and see if could find someone to relate. I was t boned at an intersection by a road train at 75kms, that moment destroyed my entire life, left me with a brain injury and permanent disabilities. Along with that really bad ptsd and emotional regulation problems, since that moment I’ve felt alone, like no one fully understood me, I still feel that way now, I can’t work and I feel worthless. In the midst of my recovery I thought I had found a man who would help me through it, he seemed to understand and help me a lot. I trusted him to help me and I needed him to help me. Until he stopped, he started physically abusing me multiple times, on the last account he nearly killed me with a car when he was drunk. I have felt worthless, I have felt useless, unwanted and broken since all these things have happened to me. I can’t seem to stop feeling this way, like I should have died. I have people supporting me but it doesn’t help me, like I can’t seem to get what I need from them. I feel too broken to stop feeling this way and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling like this. I just want to know if there is anyone out there who could relate, who knows how this all feels.