PTSD and Trauma

I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode.

replies: 15

I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode. Many flashbacks, visual, emotional, physical. The littlest things are difficult to cope with. I start the day with what feels like my cup 90% full. Not wanting to ... View more

I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode. Many flashbacks, visual, emotional, physical. The littlest things are difficult to cope with. I start the day with what feels like my cup 90% full. Not wanting to go on is a common feeling/thought. Lonely place to be. I do have a mental health worker and have seen a trauma counsellor once - waiting on further appointments to be scheduled. Had a good GP but he's left and no-one else is available in my small town. I am rambling. I am very proactive and compliant doing all sorts of techniques - grounding, mindfulness, breathing, distraction etc etc. I'm still working and fulfilling what needs to be done in my life. But it's getting harder and harder and I'm getting tired and more tired and more hopeless and feel as if I try and try and nothing is changing. I don't know what I'm asking. I'm doing all the "things". I enact my safety plan - call suicide call back service, lifeline. Come away feeling more hopeless. It's hard to get through 5 minutes sometimes. Again I don't know what I'm asking. I seek assistance and there seems no more answers and I'm stuck in this place that is dark and dangerous and lonely. Sorry for such a negative post. It's really normally not me and I normally don't share or put myself out there.

Mental health support after surgery

replies: 3

I am curious why the medical sector is not more pre-emptive with mental health for patients.2017 i have emergency surgery to remove flesh eating bacteria from my leg, and then two months in hospital, including several weeks tied to the bed, to repair... View more

I am curious why the medical sector is not more pre-emptive with mental health for patients.2017 i have emergency surgery to remove flesh eating bacteria from my leg, and then two months in hospital, including several weeks tied to the bed, to repair the skin after.Two years later the leg gets removed anyway.I am not aware that I may or may not be missing anything as I have had no experiences like this before.2023 then develop a deep skin cancer. More bits chopped off. all goes well.But I notice that with in all the follow-up consultations after, the doctor seems to be monitoring my mental health closely.For a cancer there seems to be a gold standard of not just physical health, but also mental health.When your leg is being held together by wishful thinking, you have to understand you might have an issue and then seek help (which might arrive days later)Just bothered by the duel standards

Ongoing mental health issues

replies: 5

I’m not entirely sure what I’m hoping to get from writing this, but I need to say it somewhere.I’ve been struggling for around 15 years with what I believe are undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. As I’ve gotten older, I feel less stable — more... View more

I’m not entirely sure what I’m hoping to get from writing this, but I need to say it somewhere.I’ve been struggling for around 15 years with what I believe are undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. As I’ve gotten older, I feel less stable — more reactive, more overwhelmed — and at times I find myself wishing I simply didn’t exist.I carry multiple layers of trauma from my childhood and early adulthood, including physical abuse, parental neglect, sexual assault, bullying, and infidelity in a past relationship. Those experiences still feel very present in the way I move through the world.I have difficulty forming meaningful connections and often feel like an outsider. I’m currently in a healthy, supportive relationship, which I’m grateful for, but beyond that I struggle to build close friendships — especially when it feels like everyone is too busy to make space for me.I know I need help, but I feel unmotivated to pursue it. I haven’t found a therapist I feel safe or comfortable with, and the idea of sitting and talking about myself to a stranger makes me deeply uncomfortable.I don’t know exactly what I’m asking for — but I know I don’t want to keep feeling like this.

I’m over this. What did I do?

replies: 8

Um where do I start? This is a massive year for me, the IVO against my father ends in May. I Found disturbing and quite frankly fucked up things about his life now and who sees him as a hero and it is sickening. That will get worse, articles/blog pos... View more

Um where do I start? This is a massive year for me, the IVO against my father ends in May. I Found disturbing and quite frankly fucked up things about his life now and who sees him as a hero and it is sickening. That will get worse, articles/blog posts and social media posts, let alone his logo on the news. I have an amazing therapist and was through ndis well they were paying for it. They changed my plan suddenly to agency for stupid reasons and now they wont pay her. I probably need a mental health care plan for 10 sessions and if its fortnightly like normal will end in july just when more court shit will happen cause it will be a new ivo application under my new name and as an adult and he will contest it. Ndis also have not had my disabilities listed at all I found out for 5 years its something I dont even have and got my date of birth wrong. But I get punished at the worst possible time. I’m not okay, im numb and angry I cant form tears. My psychologist knows me and my trauma and I was just starting to feel a bit better, I caught the tram to my appointment after a year. I feel broken. I feel like im being punished.

stressed

replies: 3

got cptsd cant deal with my emotions

PTSD from caring for mum

replies: 9

The last few years my mum, 78, had bladder cancer treatment which worked. She's now in remission. But in that time, I (47) have grown to despise certain parts of her. It's like her medical issues and personality got all jumbled up. I hated the illnes... View more

The last few years my mum, 78, had bladder cancer treatment which worked. She's now in remission. But in that time, I (47) have grown to despise certain parts of her. It's like her medical issues and personality got all jumbled up. I hated the illness, but i didnt hate mum. For a long time everything was a crisis with mum, at least in her own mind. Over time I got burnt out. I would regularly just drive off to go for a walk to get away from her constant fears, worries, nagging. The problem is now whenever I get phone calls from her, I blow up. Today I went down the shops, a drive I find peaceful but being interrupted by her calls just made me fly into a temper tantrurm. I get that I'm her carer, support system, but sometimes I just need some space. How do I stop over reacting this way? It hurts her, it's shameful. I have a woodworking hobby as an outlet. But this incessant checking up on me all the time drives me nuts. Mum suffers with anxiety, but how can I stop blowing up from something so trivial?

The void

replies: 7

Hi guys. I don’t really know how to start this. I guess it’s complicated. I have no intention to harm myself and when I talk about how I feel it’s always the constant worry but that isn’t what I plan to do. I just feel like this world isn’t for me. I... View more

Hi guys. I don’t really know how to start this. I guess it’s complicated. I have no intention to harm myself and when I talk about how I feel it’s always the constant worry but that isn’t what I plan to do. I just feel like this world isn’t for me. I feel like I am out of my body in a way-looking at myself and everybody around me and I don’t understand how or why I’m involved in any of it. I’m very intelligent-so I’ve been told and I look at socioeconomic spaces and society and media and I think the good and bad in the world and the rollercoaster of life is too much and I want to get off the rollercoaster and just feel peace (peace alive not unalive) I don’t see myself being able to feel safe in a relationship to start a family because I self sabotage due to fear of abandonment. I don’t want to work everyday of my life because I have worked so hard and am a good worker and I’m not cared for in jobs like I care for jobs so what’s the point. I’m studying a degree that I’m passionate about but it’s in a negative work environment (hospital/healthcare) I care so much and I wish I just cared a normal amount. I know I’m not the only one to feel like this but for myself I’m sick of being in such a negative space and I feel like I’m drowning and stuck in a pit of darkness. I have had these depression episodes on and off my whole life. 6 months of the year I’m off work due to depression. Real depression and not laziness. I have been told I have major depression, mild anxiety and complex ptsd due to some physical abuse and a LOT of verbal abuse and manipulation in childhood. CBT therapy dosent really work for me and idk what else is there to help. Trust me, I’m not a lazy person and have tried the whole meditation, self help books, CBT therapy, medication, look you name it-I’ve worked really hard at it. I’m 28 years old and all I want to do and all I do is sleep lately and most of the time anyway just worse other times. 13-14 hours a day because I don’t want to feel anything. I don’t know what else to do. I’m lost and yes I know it sounds really terrible like I will hurt myself but I don’t want to and won’t do it I’m just screaming for help at this point and looking for a way to stop hating myself and the world and being so negative. I’m tired and have been working on myself since I was 16 years old and I’m tired and just want things to get better and my hard work on myself to start paying off

Constant Triggers

replies: 2

I’m going through a whole lot of things lately that have basically caused me to have a mental crisis.Trying to get some things put into place the past couple of weeks to help me and also my husband to cope.I’m seventy, and worn out from trying to dea... View more

I’m going through a whole lot of things lately that have basically caused me to have a mental crisis.Trying to get some things put into place the past couple of weeks to help me and also my husband to cope.I’m seventy, and worn out from trying to deal with my stuff.

Missdiagnosis wasted years

replies: 14

TW: Medical gaslighting, malpractice. I have had every diagnosis under the sun it feels like. There are days when I look back with disgust at the treatment I have endured. All because I kept getting unlucky with GPs, specialists, phsycs you name it! ... View more

TW: Medical gaslighting, malpractice. I have had every diagnosis under the sun it feels like. There are days when I look back with disgust at the treatment I have endured. All because I kept getting unlucky with GPs, specialists, phsycs you name it! I'm here to complain about it in ptsd and trauma, beacause these are 2 that were correct. And they heavily impact where a treating professional might decide to look. Getting access to care when you are mentally ill is near impossible. For me it has been at least. My entire life I was treated like everything was in my head. At one point, I was experiencing extreem halluscinations and voices. I spent 8 years being missdiagnosed with schizofective dissorder, when it was black mold poisoning. Like I said it was! I couldn't get a single GP to take my mold theory seriously, and I was too unwell to argue. I ended up needing a cane to walk for around 3 of those years. And it wasn't until I moved to a dryer town that I started to see recovery. I no longer see things, hear things (like that anyway, I have something else going on that is way less intense, pretty sure that IS the trauma) nor do I need a cane. Absolutelty furious at the wasted years. I spend the majority of my 20s being told I had BPD when it was actually Autism. I have been told it's stress, when it was Endometriosis, that I don't want to get better when I asked for a second opinion. One fool tried to say I had some other personality dissorder? I can't recall the actual name, but it was actually CPTSD from a childhood of multiple traumas and unmannaged ADHD. Having so much trauma and PTSD means that a lot of my ailments get dissmissed until I need surgery and then the people go "oh, I guess you do have an inflamed apendix, oops" I hate the medical industry, and I hate being human. I can ask nicely, scream it, cry, but no one will hear me for I was born female and I was abused as a child. Therefore "it's all in my head" they used to have another word for that ... hysterical. Nothing has changed. I can't even tell a GP about being trans without at least one of them blaming my past sexual abuse as a "reason" for my transness! Are you serious mate? I was trans long before some man decided to put his hands on me. What is wrong with everyone? Why are these "professionals" so ill equiped to treat anyone beyond a broken bone? This is a rhetorical question, I know the answer, I'm just angry. Over it. Giving me more PTSD honestly.

Bpd hopelessness ketamine addiction

replies: 1

My family don’t understand my coping mechanism use for trauma and are giving me two weeks to go to rehab or im getting kicked out of the house

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PTSD for Medical and First Responders

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I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode.

replies: 15