I think something happened to me as a kid?

[Cocolee15]

Hello to anyone reading, I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I'm on medication of it.

The problems is that when I was getting on lithium I started having these repressed memories or false memories of sexual abuse as a kid.

These memories feel very real to me and during that time they were going on they were the only False memories or repressed memories I was experiencing I had no other symptoms.

It's also true that I used to play rape with my toys as a kid and I knew to keep it a secret.

These thoughts circle around my hand till they drive me crazy.

Could there be some truth to them?

[Eagle Ray]

Hello and welcome Cocolee15,

It would be difficult to be having these experiences. We cannot here actually know whether what you are experiencing are false memories or actual recollections of abuse. But it would be good to get some support from a mental health professional who is experienced in the area of trauma, especially the effects of early childhood abuse. I’m guessing you may have a treating psychiatrist based on your current diagnosis and medication. Is this someone you feel you can share what you’re experiencing with? Otherwise you could seek out a trauma-informed psychologist. I am thinking you could also try calling The Blue Knot Foundation for some advice. They specialise in supporting people with complex trauma from childhood and so may have some ideas about how to proceed looking into this. Their phone number is 1300 657 380. There can be a wait time as they can be busy. You can speak with them for 30-45 minutes depending how busy they are. They are open 9am to 5pm eastern states time everyday. I have called them before and found them to be helpful.

Take good care of yourself and we are listening if you need to chat more.

Kind regards,

Eagle Ray