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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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lemonsqueeze Stomach anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi guys! I'm really struggling with life ATM and was hoping to connect with people who may be experiencing what I'm going through.Long story short Ive experienced childhood trauma which has made me more anxious than a typical person. Anyways, this ha... View more

Hi guys! I'm really struggling with life ATM and was hoping to connect with people who may be experiencing what I'm going through.Long story short Ive experienced childhood trauma which has made me more anxious than a typical person. Anyways, this happened in school were I was hungry and my stomach rumbled I immediately panicked in class, and was so embarrassed. A boy laughed and my life has never been the same since. I would get anxious it would happen again, and it did,and he would laugh more and more, then it escalated to other classes, outside school etc. It has plagued my life. I have tried all types of meds, therapy, etc but nothing seems to work. Because of this problem I find it very hard to leave the house and when I do I'm often met with people laughing, mimicking the sound, saying I'm gross etc. I don't remember the last time I was able to go to the cinema or 'normal' places people enjoy. I really hope there is someone out there that can relate, cause at this point I really feel my life is worthless.

Sej Years of childhood abuse
  • replies: 59

Hi, This is my 1st time posting. I have been through years of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse when I was a child. It started when I was 6. I buried everything as much as I could when I became an adult. I didn't want people to worry, and I could... View more

Hi, This is my 1st time posting. I have been through years of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse when I was a child. It started when I was 6. I buried everything as much as I could when I became an adult. I didn't want people to worry, and I couldn't cope with it. I put myself in a horrible workplace. and I struggled and became suicidal. I knew I needed help and started seeing a Psychologist. I have been seeing her since July. I recently did the ptsd test and got 64 points. It was a good yet terrifying feeling. My thoughts and emotions weren't made up. I am seeing my Psychologist twice a week as I am having repressed memories come back and recurring nightmares. I struggle with trust and I am so scared that my Psychologist won't want to see me anymore. She has made it abundantly clear she is there for me, but I can't help it. I am still trying to process the past, the future, the therapy. My head is like a tornado, just filled with insults, abuse, hate towards myself, memories and pain. Will this stop?

spotted Bullying/verbal abuse after effects
  • replies: 5

Around 20 years ago, I was badly bullied (verbal abuse, nothing physical) by peers, as a young adult. At the time, I don’t know why, but I felt trapped and couldn’t do anything to escape that situation or confront the bullies. This went on for a few ... View more

Around 20 years ago, I was badly bullied (verbal abuse, nothing physical) by peers, as a young adult. At the time, I don’t know why, but I felt trapped and couldn’t do anything to escape that situation or confront the bullies. This went on for a few years and at the time I felt very, very low but never let it affect me externally; I continued to show up everyday etc. Anyway, I moved on from it and have a family of my own, get a job, the likes. This thing though was always there at some corner of my mind, sort of always taunting me, making me feel less than. Now, I have started feeling terribly low, nothing seems interesting anymore and I’ve been having therapy. Sharing this incident with the counsellor left me very shaken up. For a few days thereafter It felt almost as if I was back there being abused. Is this usual?

Karen0901 PTSD recovery
  • replies: 3

Has anyone recovered from PTSD? What influenced your recovery? I have had mental health issues in the past. These have always peaked then recovered for awhile. However, I have complex PTSD now. Multiple traumas. I would love to know if anyone had rec... View more

Has anyone recovered from PTSD? What influenced your recovery? I have had mental health issues in the past. These have always peaked then recovered for awhile. However, I have complex PTSD now. Multiple traumas. I would love to know if anyone had recovery periods after their PTSD became severe. It can be disheartening sometimes. The panic is the hardest part. Does this ease? It can come out of nowhere sometimes. I have had talk therapy for a number of years but I still see little improvement. SSRI medication has helped but not enough.

Gamechanger New job causing major stress
  • replies: 4

I started a new job a few weeks ago. It is incredibly busy, stressful and basically quite awful. The lack of training is a big issue. One is expected to spend a few hours doing the training online..no actual people involved. I completed the training ... View more

I started a new job a few weeks ago. It is incredibly busy, stressful and basically quite awful. The lack of training is a big issue. One is expected to spend a few hours doing the training online..no actual people involved. I completed the training early and have now been thrown in the deep end. We are always short staffed. There is no let up to the amount of customers waiting in line. I often have complex issues to deal with that I am not able to resolve. I have to constantly ask other team members for assistance and I know that is wearing thin with them. I have gone out of my way to learn more in my free time. But as I cannot access the systems from home I am limited as to what I can achieve. I dread going to work and I hate it there. It is chaotic and stressful. I am coming home absolutely shattered but so wound up from the hours of stress I drink too much to try to calm down. It is a very bad situation. I know I have only been there a short while but I cannot see it getting better. Everyone is focused on sales....not on serving customers who are there for basic transactions. There is never enough staff to help out. It is appalling. I am already looking for another job. I am so depressed and disillusioned. I was so happy to get this job but as usual once they get you in you are just another number to make money for them. Not to mention the sheer volume of dreadful customers I am forced to deal with daily. Smelly, foul, belligerent 'people' that upset my sensitivities. I am so sick of everything. I just want a peaceful life and to have a job I like to go to and know I am making a difference. I am on a disability pension for reasons I will not dwell on here. Suffice it to say the reason I am on it is being flung in my face daily. I try to do the right thing. Work, make some contribution. I lose most of my pension for working this job. I feel if I can't do it anymore I will be ridiculed and laughed at by my 'family'. I am so over it all.

Romaine I think I have a person in my head
  • replies: 2

Hi. I don’t really know where to post this or what to say.I’m really not sure what’s going on with me, but I’m starting to think this is abnormal. For most of my life I’ve had what I called an imaginary best friend, he felt like a lot more than that ... View more

Hi. I don’t really know where to post this or what to say.I’m really not sure what’s going on with me, but I’m starting to think this is abnormal. For most of my life I’ve had what I called an imaginary best friend, he felt like a lot more than that but that’s what I called him. Then I moved when I was 17 and it felt like he died. I genuinely felt like he died and I couldn’t think him up anymore and I grieved for two years and it felt like I lost a part of me. today he came back. It was pretty normal we just had conversations and picked up where we left off and really clicked and it all felt natural. The thing is it’s like he is himself, I don’t tell him what to say or do. I am very aware that he’s not real and he’s in my mind, I’m not hallucinating him in front of me or anything. But it’s starting to scare me a little bit because I’m not sure if it’s me going crazy. It’s like he’s in my head and I can just talk to him and he’ll say whatever he wants to say back. He feels like a completely different person to me. If you know what this is please tell me. Please tell me I’m not going crazy and that this is normal or something

jennufer Hello my name is jennifer I have ptsd since I was young child I experienced abuse, trauma.
  • replies: 3

I have post trauma stress disorder since i was three or four I experienced abuse, trauma, hurt people tried to hurt me in a painful way in the physically way is not okay. so I got help with the doctors and counselling as well it helped now I am on an... View more

I have post trauma stress disorder since i was three or four I experienced abuse, trauma, hurt people tried to hurt me in a painful way in the physically way is not okay. so I got help with the doctors and counselling as well it helped now I am on antidepressants it's helping a bit not a lot.

kathek Accessing online counselling
  • replies: 7

I’m in high distress from being traumatised by a clinician yesterday on top of having a flare of c-ptsd, amongst other things. I tried to access online chat and after completing mandatory fields I was blocked before I could even start with an online ... View more

I’m in high distress from being traumatised by a clinician yesterday on top of having a flare of c-ptsd, amongst other things. I tried to access online chat and after completing mandatory fields I was blocked before I could even start with an online chat counsellor. Why would that happen? And what’s the point of offering online chat counselling when distressed if blocked before starting? This has added to me distress and feelings of invalidation and being a waste of anything other than a thin for people to use and abuse, betray trust and invalidate anything it everything if I even bother to try and get help.

Peter_W_ Sexual assault by a close friend
  • replies: 8

I'm not sure whether what has happened to me qualifies as sexual assault, and I have no intentions of taking any action regarding the incident, but I am just looking for some guidance on something that happened to me 2 days ago that has deeply upset ... View more

I'm not sure whether what has happened to me qualifies as sexual assault, and I have no intentions of taking any action regarding the incident, but I am just looking for some guidance on something that happened to me 2 days ago that has deeply upset me and I am struggling to process. I am a 61 year old hetrosexual male and have been happily married to my wife for over 30 years. Two days ago, we spent the day and night with two very close male friends (they are gay) who have been very close friends for 28 years. We frequently socialise with them and have a few drinks with them and we have never had any inappropriate issues in all the time that we have known them. However, the other night, when my wife and one of our friends went to bed, the other friend (lets call him Michael) made some very unwanted sexual advances towards me. I quickly made it clear that I was not interested, but I probably made the mistake of being being too nice about it and trying to make light of it and consoling him for his mistake. His partner came into the room as I was consoling him and he appeared to be mortified, but I'm not sure that he was (I may be reading too much into it, but I think he may also have been interested in joining in). anyway, after his partner went back to bed, Michael continued to persist with his attempt to engage in sexual conduct with him. After trying to make it clear that I wasn't interested, and feeling extremely uncomfortable, I went to bed abruptly and me and my wife left in the middle of the night. To complicate this, we are also very close friends with Michael's brother and his family, so throughout all of this I was (and still am) very worried about the impact that this could have on those relationships. Since the incident, we have had some communications from Michael's partner (whatsapp messages) that appear to be just behaving as if nothing has happened. I haven't responded to any of them, as I don't believe that I should just pretend it didn't happen. I am upset, disappointed and very unsure how I should deal with this going forward. Any advice would be gratefully received.

ecomama new person
  • replies: 2324

Hi everyone not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happie... View more

Hi everyone not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happier that movements were restricted as I have had little choice but to live this way for a long time. Then I realised how odd this reaction is, opposite to what I was hearing at work. Simultaneously I felt huge grief for the world. I'm experiencing compassion fatigue from all of this. my life has been wrought with trauma & grief, tremendous violence & loss. I desperately sought help from authorities to stop things over many decades. I have fought so hard through courts etc, I know it has cost me a lot of mental stability a lot of the time. At least my children and I are safe atm. Feeling safe is another thing entirely! happiness eludes me. I strive for the happiness of my children. I don't know how to attain personal happiness, so have strived for contentment. I work hard physically but feel far more exhausted by my mind. flashbacks and memories often come back relentlessly in my waking hours and in my dreams. Working hard physically helps me sleep better I used to be very sociable, quite athletic and had a large family. The abuse has taken its toll. My relationships were undermined by the abuser, so they are lost. My physical health was severely impacted by the abuse also. I have a counsellor but I was advised by a close friend who is studying psychology to seek a more intensive type of therapy. I have completed countless hours in therapy through books, online and in person over decades. My counsellor is very impressed by my persistence, resilience and recovery but I feel awful most of the time. I have no relationships with extended family anymore which is very sad for me. I have basically given up trying since doors are constantly closed on that front. Soon I plan to take leave from my work to support my children all struggling in their learning from home programs. I will have to take leave on far less pay, so this presents obvious issues to an already stretched financial situation. I know there is no magic cure for all the issues I have at hand but I still have hope that things will improve and that I can feel happy one day. I pray there are answers within this forum for me. Thanks for reading.