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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 273

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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lala_ Too much drama
  • replies: 2

Hi All Not sure what Im looking for maybe just for someone to say, I feel ya, give me a pat on the back... I feel defeated by life and don't trust anyone or anything anymore, I feel the good things are a set up. Just like everyone else my life has ha... View more

Hi All Not sure what Im looking for maybe just for someone to say, I feel ya, give me a pat on the back... I feel defeated by life and don't trust anyone or anything anymore, I feel the good things are a set up. Just like everyone else my life has had it moments.Childhood - Sexual Abuse for 5 yearsTeenage years - Depression, rebellion, drug abuse, crime etc. A bad relationship, which ended with intervention orders, which were broken by physical damage and property damage.Get my life together, meet a nice man at 19, married at 22Adult years - 6 months after getting married, we were in a serious road crash and 4 people died, my parents included, my husband and I were seriously injured. Life injures. Husband I divorced 4 years later, it was amicable we had both fallen out of love trying to repair ourselves and we weren't the same people anymore. About a year later I meet another guy, relationship was normal, we started to try and have a child, due to damage from the crash and 3 miscarriages they worked out I couldn't have kids. The last miscarriage however, he didn't care and walked out on me. (literally packed his stuff and left never to be seen again)Dealt with the fact I wouldn't have kids and moved on with life.Fast forward another year and I meet the man on my dreams, he wants to look after me, gave me an instant family and everything I needed. Should have seen the narcissist coming but just wanting to be loved and that family feel again. I wanted a baby even more now, this family was everything I needed. So after two more miscarriages I got help and managed to carry to full term. I had an emergency c section, the nurse pulled the umbilical cord out when she broke my water. This is where I noticed things changed. He started to control everything, had to stay at the hospital that night, made me go home the next day. Life went down hill from here. The last beating he gave me, he her my child and nearly killed me, this wasn't the first time. I had to leave my baby with him to run to the neighbours to call the police. He was arrested and went to jail for two years. It's only now Im realising what he did and all the things he did.I get help see the right people and take the meds. Does anyone else just feel exhausted with the drama in their life, I just want peaceIm so tired of it all.

meffii just need a chat
  • replies: 6

i'm struggling with my past & i don't know what to do 

i'm struggling with my past & i don't know what to do 

Widowedmumof3 Trigger warning - PTSD after suicide of partner
  • replies: 7

Hi,I am 5 years post suicide of my husband. While I have sought counselling and other means to deal with my grief and to deal with the loss over the years, I have recently found myself "triggered". I have had a few encounters with a relative and a cl... View more

Hi,I am 5 years post suicide of my husband. While I have sought counselling and other means to deal with my grief and to deal with the loss over the years, I have recently found myself "triggered". I have had a few encounters with a relative and a close friend who confided in me regarding their mental health state, because "I would understand" that they had recently had suicidal thoughts. Thankfully they both have and are continuing with the assistance they need and are being supported. I have 2 questions: How do I deal with those who think that because my husband committed suicide that I would understand?? While I completely empathise with them and want to support them. In reality I do not understand. I was left behind. Secondly, when sharing this with me, I began to shake uncontrollably, my breath rate increased and I felt sick. Even the following day, I felt numb?? I want to be there for my friends and family, but I also do not want to feel like this. I have spoken to my counsellor and was advised that they need to respect my boundaries etc but I care for my friends and family and if I am needed I want to be able to support them as they have all supported me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the above. It is greatly appreciated.

Megs14 Grief CPTSD and anxiety
  • replies: 3

Needing a bit of support after having my dog put to sleep last week. I’m devastated but slowly navigating my way out of it however I’ve noticed my anxiety seems to started again and after months of nothing it’s come as quite a shock. I actually ended... View more

Needing a bit of support after having my dog put to sleep last week. I’m devastated but slowly navigating my way out of it however I’ve noticed my anxiety seems to started again and after months of nothing it’s come as quite a shock. I actually ended up having a full blown attack on Friday the day after we put him down and it’s as if I’ve triggered my CPtsd ( result of losing mum at young age and neglect from parental figures ) I had no sleep for 3 days as a result. I just feel like I’ve gone backwards and it really scares me. I’ve been on a long road to recovery since my last big breakdown 4 years ago and I’m even coming of my antidepressants I’ve been doing they well. I’m so upset and annoyed with myself for allowing the anxiety to get on top of me again and my last episode was very scary for me it’s as if I’ve lost trust in myself. I hope this all makes sense I’m just sort of lost right now. I also worry I’m not grieving right or enough. I cried the day before we took him and all day the next 2 days and felt so much pain like a heaviness on my heart. I know I should be kind to myself but it’s so hard when I have been in recovery and this setback has scared me. I see my psychologist in a fortnight and I do acupuncture with a therapist next week. I just need to know I’m not alone in this and does it get better?!

Echosglory I have always had a dog to be my person but ,,,,
  • replies: 1

Hello all I have spiralled somewhat in the past few weeks as my beautiful Sheltie girl Echo died in Feb, she was 15. I grew up with a dog who was my sole source of support as a child, then had a dog while raising my children and little Echo came into... View more

Hello all I have spiralled somewhat in the past few weeks as my beautiful Sheltie girl Echo died in Feb, she was 15. I grew up with a dog who was my sole source of support as a child, then had a dog while raising my children and little Echo came into my life 15 years ago. Although I have a few friends and some are even quite close, I have always bonded best with my dogs. Echo was made an emotional support dog and then after she developed arthritis and I begin struggling with the mobility issues, we just spent lockdown and beyond together, and it was lovely.I have spent a couple of months starting to look for my next great love. I am very choosy as I want to make sure that I can fit the needs of the dog in terms of space and exercise, etc. However, I do check rescue websites, but the majority of the dogs are unsuitable for me and me for them. I have spent hours and hours every day for the last couple of months looking at puppies that would be suitable, and who I'm drawn to, but the prices of dogs is completely out of my reach. I tried putting a deposit on a dog as I thought I was getting some payment, which unfortunately didn't come through. This meant I lost my $600 deposit, which is fair, but it's put me even further behind. I don't see any way that I can raise the money I need and I'm beginning to panic. I have ever be without a dog. I don't know how to be without a dog. I don't understand why they are so very expensive, are completely out of the reach of most people I would think.I'm not looking at expensive, designer dogs, but every puppy I have found, has been around $2000, and this is just not doable. I don't know how to reconfigure everything to be without another living presence to draw comfort from and find meaning with and I feel so ashamed and pathetic that I can't even manage to buy myself a dog. Just a dog. I guess I am just needing to vent a little bit, as I was starting to hit the panic button today. So, thank you to everybody who has read this and love and light to all of you out there with fur babies.

Supermum Post therapy session struggles
  • replies: 62

I’ve been in therapy over 18 months after falling in a heap 4 years ago. My psychologist has been doing schema therapy with me and we have been doing chair work etc . The sessions can be very overwhelming and triggering and I struggle enormously with... View more

I’ve been in therapy over 18 months after falling in a heap 4 years ago. My psychologist has been doing schema therapy with me and we have been doing chair work etc . The sessions can be very overwhelming and triggering and I struggle enormously with the after effects of these sessions. My psychologist is aware and helping to find ways to work through my difficulties but my time with him is coming to a close as it’s with the public health system so I have to find a new psychologist which is daunting and anxiety provoking and I just feel like I just cannot manage all this on top of the constant reel of traumatic memories and invasive thoughts mixed with the guilt and the punishment thoughts it’s just a bit much . Any other experiences like this and ways to deal with the after effects of therapy etc would be helpful

BelleBelle SSA
  • replies: 1

I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t have any real supports around me that I can talk to about this and I don’t see my psychologist for another two weeks. My older brother sexually abused me over a long period of time when I was younger. I’ve... View more

I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t have any real supports around me that I can talk to about this and I don’t see my psychologist for another two weeks. My older brother sexually abused me over a long period of time when I was younger. I’ve started to communicate this to my psychologist (in writing) because I cannot talk about it. I have been told that I have PTSD. Everything seems so much worse since I have started working through it. I feel like I need to stop and get over it. Internally I’m screaming but I have to keep functioning to keep up with Single Mum responsibilities and my full time job 🫣

Lil123 Sexual abuse in childhood- yayyyy
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have posted about my life before on here, but as I don't have therapy or a consistent form of professional support anymore, I'm finding myself on here again. Recently, I was just watching a movie with my mum, that had an extremely spec... View more

Hi everyone, I have posted about my life before on here, but as I don't have therapy or a consistent form of professional support anymore, I'm finding myself on here again. Recently, I was just watching a movie with my mum, that had an extremely specific scene about a brother sexually abusing a sister throughout childhood. This hit way too close to home and I started crying without really even understanding why at first. My best guess is it was a major trigger for me that hasn't come up before. I used to think there was something wrong with me, for only really crying about it a few times about what had happened, but now I think I realise I just hadn't really come across triggers. I started crying because I realised for the first time that it had actually been going on since I was about four, and it just built up from there, and led to the major incident. This made me extremely sad, angry.. and probably every other emotion as well. Just to realise it was there all along. This is extremely difficult to talk about clearly, but in short, my brother and I were not normal, and the worst thing is we didn't even realise it was wrong, I'm guessing because our dad was abusive. No one knew. until I was 12, when he fully sexually abused me. But I didn't say no, I didn't know how to even reply. And I still feel so bad that my brother got the worst of the consequences afterwards, which completely ruined him. I feel so bad, because maybe if I had realised we both had always had this relationship earlier, then maybe he would be a bit better. Now his living back with our dad, being manipulated day by day, the worst thing is I cant do anything about it. Sorry if this is kind of just a major fat dump for literally everyone reading this, I always feel so bad when telling this story, because no one else should really have to hear it. But my mum cant stand hearing about it, shes too hurt by it. So this is me just trying to talk, idk why I'm writing tbh. anyway. that's that, I'm just not really sure what to do with these emotions, a part of me has been really good a keeping them out of mind for a while, but this has just brought it all back up. Crazy what a single scene in a movie can do I guess.

David35 trauma from dads cancer
  • replies: 4

I've recently discovered that I have built up trauma from almost 7 years ago. My psychologist has helped uncover it. Around this time in 2016 my dad was terminally ill with prostate cancer that ended up migrating to his brain. Watching someone's life... View more

I've recently discovered that I have built up trauma from almost 7 years ago. My psychologist has helped uncover it. Around this time in 2016 my dad was terminally ill with prostate cancer that ended up migrating to his brain. Watching someone's life deteriorate so quickly once it got to his brain was difficult. I've tried writing about it to help. Does anyone have any other ideas? I thought I had dealt with the grief, which I may have. But after talking today to my therapist I had no idea there was so much trauma still there, so many vivid memories, associated with the way he died. Has anyone else experienced this?

Guest_597 Complex PTSD
  • replies: 1

OK... I've started my recovery from my ptsd.... but who finds that you are so toxic.... I feel so toxic with the traits that I've had to use for survival mode for so long... that now I'm meeting new people who are different as and being told I'm cons... View more

OK... I've started my recovery from my ptsd.... but who finds that you are so toxic.... I feel so toxic with the traits that I've had to use for survival mode for so long... that now I'm meeting new people who are different as and being told I'm constantly toxic to be around.... I don't mean to be... I don't want to be... but some how I am.... The zoning out I am angry with apparently.... The when I try to prove a point because how I had to growing up is so toxic.... that it makes other people feel like shit... that I don't even realise I'm doing it.... I get told.. but I want to stop.... how the hell do u stop a survival technique that's stuck with you for so long to just stop..... What am I doing wrong.... I've started meditation... it makes me so tired and drained .... I'm trying to get help to see a psychologist again... because I know i need it.... But just why am I so toxic....